


From Somewhere Within

by SmoakingGreenArrow



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Romantic Soulmates, Sense 8 Vibes, Sexual Content, Soul Bond, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-16
Updated: 2019-06-09
Packaged: 2019-07-13 03:21:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 23
Words: 107,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16009244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmoakingGreenArrow/pseuds/SmoakingGreenArrow
Summary: Their connection has always felt natural to them, safe and secure. But others tend to fear what they don’t understand, and as far as their enemies are concerned, the world isn’t ready to accept two people who can know each other the way that Oliver and Felicity do.





	1. The Meeting

The first time Oliver saw her, he’d only been eight years old.

His mother had just told him that he was going to be getting a little sister. As if his parents thought he’d be happy about that.

He’d been sulking in his bedroom when a little girl appeared near the window. Her eyes were wide as she looked around the unfamiliar space. And Oliver jumped off his bed, “who are you?” He’d asked. “Did Raisa let you in here?”

“I’m Felicity,” she’d squeaked in reply. And then she scrunched up her nose, “who is Raisa?”

Oliver crossed his arms, “I don’t know how you got in here, but you need to go.”

“I thought you looked sad. Do you need a friend?” She’d asked sweetly. 

“No. What do you mean I looked sad? Do I know you?” Oliver had squinted at the tiny kid, guessing that she was probably five years old or so.  

“You’re Oliver,” she’d rolled her eyes. “My ‘maginry friend.”

“What?”

“Yeah, I see you sometimes. I always talk to you,” the little girl frowned, “you never talk back. But momma says I must have a ‘maginry friend.”

He stared at her for a long time, watching as she bit her lips together and knotted her hands behind her back uncomfortably. “I’m real,” he said, putting his hands on his chest. Then he moved towards her and poked her on the shoulder.  
“Ow,” she’d pouted. “That wasn’t nice.”

“You’re real. I can’t be your imaginary friend if we’re both real. So where did you come from?” He hadn’t heard the door open or anyone coming in. She’d just shown up. 

“Nevada,” she said slowly, enunciating each syllable with a smile.

He rolled his eyes, “but how did you get to Starling?”

Felicity’s eyebrows furrowed as she contemplated the question. “I don’t know. I’ve never been to Starling.”

Oliver gestured around the room, rolling his eyes at her again. “You’re here right now!”

She giggled, “no, I’m in my house. Momma’s making mac n’ cheese for dinner. Do you want some?”

Oliver shook his head slowly, waiting for her to disappear as quickly as she’d come, wondering if he was seeing things. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, but when he squinted one eye open, the little girl still stood.

 

* * *

 

 

Oliver continued to see Felicity in the years that followed.

She’d show up whenever he was thinking about her. Which happened to be a lot, since he was pretty sure none of his friends had a little girl talking to them that no one else could see.

Having her around actually helped him a lot when it came to Thea.

Usually Felicity knew exactly what was bother his little sister, and she was pretty good at giving him advice on how to deal with her.

Because of Felicity, he had an easier time getting to know Thea and understanding her. And for years, he was grateful for their conversations. He’d learned more about her life, too. She taught him how to see her world. How to “visit” her, as she began to call it.

It was easier than he imagined, once he’d finally accepted that he had a little girl in his head who didn’t seem to be going away. 

Whenever he needed to get away, he’d visit Felicity. Nevada looked a lot different than Starling, and as she grew up, she became more of a friend to him rather than an inconvenience. A lot of their time was spent talking about her mom, especially when Felicity turned seven…and her dad left.

That night, he’d been at the movies with his friends, and he’d felt her pain for the first time.

It was an emptiness that he couldn’t explain. Hurt that had no trigger. Oliver knew instinctively that it was Felicity.  _Her_ heart was breaking. Before that night, they could only figure out how to visit each other when their thoughts were focused on the other. They both had to be trying.

But he knew that Felicity wasn’t thinking about him in that moment, that her anguish wasn’t about him. And he could still  _feel_ it. He’d never felt her like that before. And he knew, from somewhere within, that she needed him.

His chest began to feel tight as he sat in the dark theater, air getting harder to reach. 

A panic attack. She was having a panic attack.

Oliver forgot all about Laurel Lance, the girl he’d been hoping to kiss during that movie. He’d hurried out of the theater, trying to find a private place before he reached for Felicity. In truth, he wasn’t sure what he looked like while his mind was in Nevada, but he guessed that it was a lot like when he zoned out in math class, staring out the window.

Once he was alone in the back alley, he closed his eyes and pictured her, trying to reach her in a way they hadn’t considered. He had no idea if he could be there unless she wanted him there, but he had to try. He had to make sure that she was okay. “Felicity?” He swallowed hard as he started to see her world coming into view. Stepping into her bedroom, his senses slowly tuned into her surroundings. 

Felicity was curled up on her floor, crying harder than he’d ever seen anyone cry. 

He never felt bothered to be around her. She was younger than him, but Oliver knew her well enough to know that she was smarter than him in a lot of different ways. Most ways. Oliver actually loved having somewhere else to go when he didn’t want to be in Starling, having someone to talk to that listened, that understood him, and that made him laugh.

But she was only seven. With four years between them, he’d always felt like his problems were worse than hers. Like a kid her age could never understand the troubles he was facing as an eleven year old. And she never took it to heart when he blew off their talks for better, more mature things he wanted to do.

In truth, she was kind of the happiest part of his life, he realized as he watched her cry. Seeing Felicity so broken, hearing the pained noises that she made as she sobbed…he felt it with her. For her.

They’d never touched before…never actually tried. But he walked across the room and put his hand on her shoulder.

Felicity startled, a gasp escaping her as she turned around to look at him. Her lip started to quiver at the sight of him. “Oliver?” He nodded, pulling her into a hug. Then he scooped her up and put her down on her bed, wanting to get her off the floor.

Pulling up the chair to the side of her bed, Oliver sat down. And Felicity turned onto her side, resting her hand under her cheek and looking at him. Her eyes were full of emotion, of pain that someone her age shouldn’t have to endure. 

And Oliver felt his whole body kindle with rage he had never felt. An unfamiliar urge to hurt whoever had hurt her. It was a violent feeling. He fought it, biting it down and burying it in his chest.

She didn’t need that from him.

“You’re going to be okay, Felicity. Everything’s going to fine.” He said, trying to focus on her instead of wondering who had made her feel this way and where he could find them.

Her hand flew to her face, covering her eyes as another raw sob freed itself from her throat. The sound was unsettling, a noise that no seven year old deserved. “Sh,” Oliver soothed, leaning closer and blinking back tears, shouldering her pain like it was his own. Taking it on felt so natural, like he didn’t have a choice. Her heartbreak was his, and he knew it always would be. “It’s okay,” Oliver told her, pulling her hand away from her face and holding it between both of his.

“He’s gone!” She wailed, “my dad left and he’s never coming back!”

Squeezing her hand, Oliver swallowed down that annoying temper, telling him that anyone who caused this girl to shed tears deserved to bleed. He nodded instead, “I can feel it, Felicity. I can feel how you’re feeling.”

Her eyes moved from the ceiling to him, trying to see if it was true. He let out a shaky breath, wanting the ache in his chest to go away. Wishing he could take away the anguish they were sharing. She finally nodded. “Please don’t leave.”

Even at eleven years old, he knew there was something deep, something he couldn’t understand, between him and Felicity Smoak. Her place in his life had never been about logic or choice.

She just  _was_.

For whatever reason, neither of them had ever truly questioned that. They accepted each other easily. As soon as the initial shock had worn off when she first appeared to him, he’d grown to know her as if she was a part of him. 

He didn’t question why he had ten fingers instead of nine, and he didn’t question why he had Felicity.

“I won’t,” Oliver whispered. 

He could still see the alley behind the theater in Starling, it rested in the back of his mind, getting darker as the sun went down. He knew that he should be getting home. That his friends, and Laurel, were probably wondering where he was.

But he didn’t care.

His conscious mind stayed in Las Vegas with her.

“I’m right here, Felicity. I’m not going anywhere.”


	2. The Falling

“I don’t see what’s so great about prom,” 

Oliver’s eyes snapped up, looking at Felicity’s reflection behind him. She was on his bed, laying back onto his pillows with her hands behind her head. Her gaze dropped to his butt and a slow grin spread over her face. “You do look nice in a tux though,"

He turned to face her with an easy of a smile. He’d asked Laurel to prom and he’d been pretty stoked when she said yes. But now the idea of going didn’t seem as compelling. He laid down next to Felicity, pulling the pillow out of her hands and tossing it up above his head.

Oliver caught it as it came back down, looking over at her. “You’re a freshman,” he reminded her with a sigh, “prom will be a bigger deal by your junior year.”

  
She rolled her eyes at him, “Billy Malone asked me to go.” Felicity shrugged, “I said ‘hell no.’ Well, I didn’t really say ‘hell no,’ but that’s what I was thinking. I actually, very nicely, said ‘no thank you.’”

Oliver’s eyebrows furrowed as he stared at her, frowning. “He asked you to prom? Who is he? You’ve never mentioned any _Billy_.” He dragged the name out, thinking that just the sound of it was annoying.

“He’s a senior at my school,” Felicity stole the pillow back, shoving it under her head and flipping onto her side, facing him.

“A senior?” Oliver raised his eyebrows, “what, none of the girls his own age wanted to go out with him?”  
  
She sighed, “chill, dad.”

Oliver cringed at her new favorite catchphrase lately. He was becoming more and more certain that his accidental outbursts were far from parental concern. He was actually quite sure he was jealous when Felicity mentioned boys in Nevada. But she seemed to read it as something else.

“He’s nice...I’m just...not interested in anyone here.”

Oliver held his breath, his eyes moving between hers.

He had no idea when his feelings for her started to develop into something not so platonic, but it was impossible to ignore at this point. Maybe their connection had always been this way, maybe he’d always known there was something different between them.

Her eyes just did something to him. Made him feel things he’d never felt with anyone else.

But he couldn’t go there.

She lived halfway across the country. And how could they ever date? It wasn’t like he could take her out to dinner. Or introduce her to his friends and family. Although he’d already been thinking for years that she and Thea would be the best of friends if they had the chance.

What would he say? “Hey mom, meet my girlfriend? I met her in my head when I was eight and now she’s…” Oliver glanced down at her body, the curves that had snuck up on him…

 _Hot_.

When did Felicity get hot?

She’d also started experimenting with makeup, and her lips were always a different shade of pink or red or purple when she visited. All of the colors made him want to kiss her and find out what she’d taste like.

Felicity wore a pair of high waisted jean shorts and a red crop top. He gulped when he noticed the thin sheen of sweat on her shoulder. “Hot in Nevada?” he mumbled, glancing away.

She laughed, “yup.” It pretty much rained in Starling all year round, but April definitely felt more like a winter month than a spring one. He was jealous of the weather where she was from. Of the sunshine that always tanned her skin and eased her mind. She also lived in a cozy one-story house outside of Las Vegas. The mansion had been feeling cold and empty ever since he learned what it was like at Felicity’s house with her mom, the time they spent together.

“So,” Felicity said, raising an eyebrow, “who are you taking?” She playfully wiggled her eyebrows at him.

“Laurel Lance,” he sighed, not nearly as proud of it as he’d been when he was bragging to the guys at school. Watching a movie with Felicity seemed like a much better idea.

The way Felicity’s nose crinkled made him laugh. “Didn’t you say she like, went out with your friend Tommy last month just to get your attention?”

“Yeah,” Oliver shrugged. He’d actually thought it was pretty hot how Laurel had tried to make him jealous so he’d ask her to prom.

Tommy didn’t exactly agree.

Like usual, it took a disappointed look on Felicity’s face to make him stop thinking selfishly. “Tommy’s over it,” he mumbled anyway.

Felicity frowned, and he could see the wheels turning in her head. “Did he say that?”

Oliver huffed, “he’s fine, Felicity. You don’t need to worry about my friends.”

  
She bit her lip, raising her hands in surrender. “I should let you finish getting ready.”

He closed his eyes, “Felicity...”

“Have a nice time at prom, Oliver.”

And as easily as she’d shown up, she was gone when he opened his eyes.

* * *

Thinking about anything besides Felicity for the rest of the night was hard. Ever since she’d started high school, things had gotten a bit more intense between them. Harder.

She’d always been smart, and funny, and kind. But something was changing; she knew herself better now, and his feelings were growing. He was proud of her, in awe of her. And he simply didn’t know what to do about those emotions.

It was even more frustrating that he had no one to talk to about it, either. Felicity was his. His secret...and he liked it that way. But there were moments when she drove him crazy, when she made him feel more irritated than anyone could. 

When she was like a puzzle that he had no idea how to solve, but he wanted to. And he just wished he had someone who could tell him how to handle it.

Yet he never wanted to be anywhere else. When she came to see him, he was always sad to see her go. And every time he visited her lately, he never felt ready to leave. He could talk to her for hours, share things with her, be himself...and he felt like he could say anything to Felicity and she’d never be fazed. No matter how many times he told himself it was stupid or that he was wrong...god, he always, _always_ missed her when she wasn’t there with him.

“Hey, man,” Tommy came up beside him at the punch bowl.

“Hey,” Oliver nodded, raising his spiked drink to his friend. Tommy filled up his glass, and Oliver slipped him the flask he’d brought in. He wondered if smuggling vodka to prom was something Felicity would frown at, or if she’d think it was amusing. A lot of his thoughts circled that sentiment lately; what would Felicity say?

“Tommy,” Oliver pressed his lips together, trying to find the right words. “I’m sorry about coming here with Laurel.”

His friend’s eyebrows shot up, “you are?”

“Yeah,” Oliver sighed, “what she did wasn’t cool. I shouldn’t have brought her here after the way she treated you. And I...I know you like her. So asking her to prom wasn’t cool, either.”

Tommy gaped at him, which was honestly fair, since most of Oliver Queen’s decisions revolved around what Oliver Queen wanted, everyone else be damned. “What’s gotten into you?” Tommy asked, grinning. “I might like this new, thoughtful and apologetic Ollie.”

He shook his head, taking another sip of his drink. “Just this friend,” he muttered, “something she said.”

“What friend?”

Oliver smiled as he thought about Felicity again. He’d been fighting for so long to keep her a secret, to make sure no one ever caught on to them, although there had been a couple of close calls. Like his teacher who had caught him mumbling to himself during an exam and had looked unconvinced when he said he was doing ‘mental math’ as an excuse. To be fair, it’d been an English test… Felicity was very interested in learning about Shakespeare with his class. _Distracting_ , to say the least.

“Her name’s Felicity,” Oliver whispered, unable to fight the smile that always seemed to overtake him whenever he thought about what a bubble of light she was. Saying her name to someone else for the first time, out loud, made his heart feel bubbly and light, too.

“You like her,”

Glancing at his friend, Oliver saw the knowing look on Tommy’s face. He was surprised at how quickly he thought up an excuse. “She’s just this girl I met online. She lives like, thousands of miles from here, so...”

Half of him was hoping that Tommy might magically come up with a solution to his problem. Or give him a reason to stop feeling things for her. “That sucks, man,” he said instead.

Giving a single nod, Oliver knocked back the rest of his drink. “Laurel wants to go to Max Fuller’s party after prom. You mind giving her a ride?”

“I thought you were going,” Tommy answered.

Oliver shook his head, “nah, I’m going to head home.”

He didn’t bother saying goodbye to Laurel, she’d basically been ignoring him after walking in on his arm, anyway. The photo ops were over, and she was more interested in sitting in the corner with her friends as they rated prom dresses. For that, he was grateful. Because he didn’t feel like talking to her. Or god forbid, dancing.

When he got home, he immediately loosened his tie and went to his room, locking the door behind him. Then he sat on his bed with a sigh, his eyes slipping shut.

He could feel a warm breeze, hear the crickets, and smell the dusty, natural air. It was foreign, yet so very familiar.

Oliver followed it, letting it get stronger, starting to hear the music she was listening to. 

Opening his eyes, Oliver found himself on her back porch.

Felicity was lying in the hammock in her yard, her head tilted up at the stars. He paused for a moment to watch her, appreciating the way she could just let herself be. None of the girls in Starling were like her. Felicity was comfortable with silence, she cared about so much more than high school bullshit, and she was more mature than him or anyone else he knew at Starling Academy. Shaking his head as he looked at her, Oliver started moving across the grass.

He came around the swing, glancing at her and then at his feet. She kept her eyes on the star-filled sky. “Hi,” he offered.

Felicity shifted in response, clearing the space beside her so he could sit. He did, dropping his head back to see what she was seeing, the side of his body pressed to the side of hers as the hammock curved in the middle, pushing them together. And he did his best to ignore it. “I’m so jealous you get to look at this every night,” he said lowly, trying not to disturb the peace of her surroundings. The comfort.

Her head turned to look at him, “you have the same view, Oliver,” she whispered, “all you have to do is want it.”

“I know...but I’m not...I’m not _here_ , Felicity. I’m in Starling.”

“Do you see the same stars right now?” She asked. He nodded. “Do you feel the breeze? Smell the trees? Do you hear the chirping of these crickets?” He nodded again, afraid to break the eye contact between them. “Then you’re here...” she shrugged, “you always have been. I _know_ you, Oliver. I know your life, and your family, and your heart. I know what matters to you.” He just stared at her, and she raised her eyebrows, biting her lip before asking, “do you feel like you know _me_ like that?”

“Yes,” he whispered instantly, honestly.

“You’ve been by my side through everything...I don’t have a better friend than you. And it really pisses me off when you act like I'm some figment of your imagination.”

“I know you're not, Felicity." He sighed, his fingers twitching against hers, before he reached out and took her hand. The feel of her fingers slipping between his was everything he needed. "Of course I know you're real. But I don’t just want to be your friend.” Oliver blurted.

He’d been biting his tongue for too long. Pushing everything down without acknowledging any of it. Apparently that had its limit.

Her eyes darted up to his, “then don’t,” was all she said.

He leaned towards her, the whole world slowing down until his forehead was pressed against hers. Oliver lifted his hands to her face as she turned her body towards him, her eyes slipping shut.

Kissing Felicity probably wasn’t going to change the world. It technically wouldn’t even be real. But...he felt like the ground would break and pull him under if he didn’t kiss her. 

Moving slowly, Oliver lifted her face until his lips were just barely touching hers. The simple connection made everything stop.

It wasn’t just a feeling, either.

The crickets stopped chirping, the breeze died down, even the radio behind them had somehow gone silent. It was so quiet, so peaceful and perfect...all he could hear was her heart beating.

“Felicity...” he whispered, wondering if she felt it, too. If she noticed.

His answer was a shaky breath from her lips, exhaled against his skin. Then she kissed him, and it was unlike anything he’d ever felt.

Their connection had always been strong, always deep. But kissing her felt like clarity. As if storm clouds were clearing and offering him a view of how good life could be if he didn’t hold back from Felicity.

It was just a kiss.

Yet they somehow both knew that it was what they were always meant to do.

He pulled back slowly, hesitating to press one more gentle kiss against the corner of her mouth. “Did that feel…”

“Like magic?” Felicity breathed, her eyes still closed. She swallowed, nodding. “Yeah.”

“Let’s do it again,” he mumbled, slipping his arm under her back and pulling her closer, his other hand coming up to cup her cheek as his mouth met hers again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates on Sundays! Please let me know what you think!! :)


	3. The Leaving

Robert Queen had plans for his son; a business degree from Harvard, and then an internship at Queen Consolidated, where Oliver would continue to climb the ladder until the company felt he deserved to take his dad’s place. **  
**

The rest of his life was basically planned for him, and Oliver didn’t want any of it. Nor did he object to it, though.

The more pressure his family put on him, the more Oliver acted out. He was trying to show his parents, rather than  _tell_ them, that he wasn’t meant to be the CEO of QC. Needless to say, it was also hurting Felicity pretty badly in the process.

Oliver and Felicity had something that was completely theirs. There was a part of herself that she just knew belonged to him, and vice versa. He was a piece of her life that the rest of the world couldn’t touch.

But it was only a piece.

The rest of him was pulled in a hundred other directions. The time he spent with her became less and less. His whole world changed when he moved to a new city for college, met new people...and she couldn’t help feeling a little bit left behind.

On the night she graduated high school, Felicity let her mom take her out to dinner, where they’d run into a group of girls in her class. They were all drunk, either the result of a lazy bartender or fake I.D’s. In Vegas, it really could have been either.

Felicity was carefully avoiding her mom’s eyes while she pushed the tomatoes around her salad bowl with her fork. She was upset about Oliver, but she couldn’t tell her mother that.

As the girls stumbled by their table, they noticed Felicity. “Hey,” one of them stopped to point at her. “You’re like, the president or something.”

“Class valedictorian,” Felicity mumbled, shifting in her chair. They only recognized her because she had to stand on stage right in front of their faces and give a speech.

The girl gave her a slow, lopsided grin. “I want to party with the class valedictorian.”

When Felicity stared at the four girls, all loving the idea and inviting Felicity to catch a cab to the party with them, Donna Smoak perked up. “Oh, honey!” She wiggled, “you have to go!”

“Mom,” Felicity hissed. “Most mothers don’t encourage their teenage daughters to run off with a bunch of drunk classmates.”

“Most daughters aren’t as responsible as you,” Donna squeezed her cheek. “I trust you. Go have fun.”

Since Oliver was busy with finals and stressed about his parents, Felicity knew that if she went home, the rest of her evening would consist of watching old movies alone. On the night of her graduation, that seemed unbearably sad. “Okay,” she finally sighed.

Squealing, the girls pulled her up from the table, introducing themselves as if they hadn’t gone to school with her for four years. “I’ll be home in a couple hours,” Felicity told her mom as the girls tugged on her. And that was being generous. She doubted she’d be there for more than a few minutes before she decided to go home.

Ultimately, even a few minutes was an understatement. Cramming herself into the back of a cab with some girls who had never noticed her and were now just drunk enough to be nice...was clearly a horrible idea. They touched her hair and commented on her makeup and dress, acting like it was such a shame they hadn’t gotten their hands on her sooner to give her a makeover and save her from herself.

By the time they reached the house, Felicity was already regretting it; planning on hanging behind, letting them wander inside while she made her escape in the cab. But one of the girls latched onto her, dragging her inside before she could give an excuse.

Walking into the party made her immediately feel uncomfortable. Out of place. Most of the kids didn’t notice her, and the ones who did only knew her as the weird girl who always had her nose in a book.

The whispers and pointed fingers made her feel like she’d just stepped foot into every high school cliche movie she’d ever seen. And it made her want a drink. “Come on,” the girl clung to her arm droned, pulling her towards the keg.

Her eyes immediately scanned the house. She had no idea whose it was. But she wanted to find her exits, because she’d certainly be taking the first chance she had to slip out of there.

Felicity took the cup when the girl held it out for her, unsure if she had any plans of drinking it.

She stuck with the girls, crouching into their little circle while they drunkenly debated who at the party would be hooking up later. Eventually she decided to start drinking, around the same time that they began to plan how to get her laid and who to offer for the cause.

By the time they were ready to approach the football players across the room, they were all drunk enough not to notice when Felicity slipped out of their grip. “Jeesh,” she sighed, shaking her head as they giggled and flirted. Felicity knew that the girls might not notice her absence yet, but they would at some point. Which meant...the back door was closer, and she tossed her cup into the trash as she made a beeline for it.

She pulled her phone out and called a cab as soon as she reached the driveway. Then she dropped it back into her purse and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and thinking about Oliver.

His apartment in Boston started to come into view, the smells of street vendors and sounds of the city in the distance.

“Hey, you okay?”

Felicity’s eyes snapped open as a car door shutting brought her back. She turned her head to look at the boy getting out of his car. He gestured to the house, “do you need help with something?”

Shaking her head, Felicity cocked her head to the side. “I don’t recognize you. Did you go to Harbor?”

“No,” the boy offered a warm smile, pushing his hands into his pockets. “My girlfriend just graduated. I go to a school an hour North.”

Nodding, Felicity crossed her arms. “Okay. I’m fine.” She softened a bit, “thank you for asking.”

“Of course. Um, do you want me to wait with you until your ride gets here?”

She chuckled, “no, that’s all right. Your girlfriend is probably waiting...” she bit her lip.

“Rory,” he introduced himself.

“Well I’ll be just fine, Rory. Go enjoy the party.”

“Not really your scene, huh?”

“No,” she breathed, shaking her head. “Not really at all.”

He nodded with understanding, his eyes on her a little too long. She squirmed a bit, feeling like he was analyzing. Looking for something. “It gets easier, you know.”

Felicity’s eyebrows furrowed, “what does?”

Rory began to back up, heading towards the house. “All of it,” he shrugged coyly, as if that answered the question. “It was nice to meet you, Felicity.”

“Nice to meet you too…?” She stared at him, watching as he smiled, heading up the steps to the front porch. “Wait,” her shoulders stiffened as realization hit.

“Felicity?”

She jumped, whirling around at the sound of Oliver’s voice, seeing him a few inches in front of her. His hands came to her shoulders, apologizing as he glanced around. “You okay? I thought I felt you a couple minutes ago but then you weren’t there.”

“Yeah,” she nodded, wiggling out of his arms to look back at the porch. “Did you see that guy?”

Oliver frowned, “no. What guy?”

“Rory.”

He stared down at her, confused. “There’s no one out here but you.”

“He must have gone inside,” she whispered, still looking at the door. “He knew my name.”

“Felicity, it’s not crazy for some of your classmates to know who you are.”

“No,” she huffed, “he doesn’t go to Harbor. I just met him. He said his name is Rory and his girlfriend is inside but...I never gave him my name.”

Oliver hesitated, his hands smoothing over her shoulders and down her arms. “Hey.” Felicity turned back to look at him, “you’re the valedictorian of your class. Five hundred people just watched you give an amazing speech.”

Letting it sink in, Felicity sighed, closing her eyes and dropping her forehead to his chest. “He was in the audience at graduation for his girlfriend.” She groaned, “God, why am I such a crazy person?”

“I think it’s adorable,” Oliver kissed the top of her head.

Allowing herself to relax, Felicity settled into him, seeing his world as well as her own. For most of their lives, he visited her or she visited him, but recently they’d learned how to do  _both_. "You caught my speech, huh?"

In her world, she was standing in the driveway while he hugged her. In his world, she could see him on the fire escape of his apartment, looking down at the city with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. "Of course I did. You were incredible."

“Where have you been?” She asked quietly, picking her head up to look at him.

Oliver let out a deep breath, holding his blanket out for her to sit beside him on the cold metal fire escape. It took her a moment, but finally she relented, sinking down beside him and curling into his side.

Oliver placed his hand in her lap, twisting his fingers with hers and closing his eyes. He let out a deep sigh, his body slumping as if her presence was a weight off of him.

She felt it too. Every time they touched, it was like a burst of energy. Of life. Like he was the battery that kept her going. Eased her mind and made everything feel better. “I’m sorry, Felicity,” he answered. “Everyone needs something from me, or expects me to be a certain way and-”

“I’ve never done anything to make you feel like that, Oliver.” She interrupted, her back stiffening as she defended herself.

Oliver smiled, kissing her shoulder, his arm tightened around her. “And all I want is to be with the one person who lets me be myself. I just want to be with _you_.” He finished.

Felicity bit her lip and nodded, shaking off the tension in her body. His stress had nothing to do with her. She knew that, but she wasn't sure how to help. Being with her seemed to make him feel better, but part of her was afraid it'd eventually become too much for him. Trying to balance his real life and the girlfriend who lived across the country. She squeezed his hand, “I know the feeling.”

At the end of the day, none of it mattered. She only wanted him. And she was certain that the feeling was mutual. That it had been there, something special between them since they met. All of it building up to this. To a future together.

“It’s just...things are changing from what we’ve been used to our whole lives.”

“I know. But...my feelings for you haven’t changed.” There was hesitation in her voice, and she didn't have to ask in order for him to know the question. _Have yours?_

“Felicity,” he sighed, touching her cheek with his thumb. “I’ve been falling more in love with you every day. That’s not changing.”

“Oliver...” she shook her head, “I think we’re lucky. Have you ever thought of it that way?”

He pursed his lips and met her eyes, shaking his head no. Felicity rested her head on his shoulder, “I’ve never heard of anyone having what we have. All I need to do is think about you, and I can be right there. I can see you. Touch you,” her fingers laced through his, and his thumb gently stroked the back of her hand. “It’s special.”

“You’re right,” he sighed. Oliver leaned in, pressing his lips against her forehead. “I know you hate it when I say this, but I just wish we could find a way to make this real... _more_ real. You know what I mean.” He nudged her shoulder with his. “I can’t stop wondering what would happen if I was _actually_ touching you...”

“Well,” Felicity whispered, “I’ve been waiting for you to visit me…”

Oliver frowned, guilt flashing across his face because of how distant he’d been lately. “Why’s that?”

“I got a letter from MIT yesterday,” she bit her lip, “letting me know that I’ve been accepted.”

Pride was the first thing that crossed his face. No surprise, no reservations. And then his eyes widened, “that means you’ll  _be here_ , be here? In Boston? You’re going to be moving to Boston this fall?”

“You got it,” she chuckled at the expression on his face. The hope. "I've been waiting to tell you."

Oliver kissed her once, then twice, then a third time as he mumbled against her lips, “please stop me before I get carried away.”

“No,” she whispered back. “I think celebrations are in order.”

* * *

The sight of Oliver standing on the edge of the dock, looking out at the ocean with his hands in his pockets was a peaceful view. One that made her heart skip a beat. And it felt like an important moment. Felicity hesitated behind him, taking time to admire him. Take a few mental pictures in her mind.

He was waiting for her. Thinking about her. She could feel it.

“Hi, handsome.”

A smile pulled at his lips, and he turned his head to look down at her. Oliver laughed when she winked at him, wrapping her arm around his waist and letting her fingers wander down his backside. He tucked her against his side, fighting off the chilly morning. “Hey,”

Felicity rested her cheek on his chest, taking in a deep breath full of ocean air and Oliver. She looked out at the waves. “Are you all packed?”

“Yeah,” Oliver sighed. “Forcibly packed.”

She snorted, “your dad is as stubborn as you, huh?”

“Unfair,” Oliver squeezed her shoulder, “if anyone’s going to call me stubborn, it really shouldn’t be the girl who has me totally wrapped around her finger.”

“That’s true,” Felicity wrinkled her nose at him. “That’s just where I like you, though.”

Oliver laughed, “Oh, I’m sure it is.”

“One more month,” Felicity sighed, her eyes roaming over his face, wondering what it’d feel like to actually touch his cheek, look into his eyes, and feel his arm around her. She imagined it would only be better.

“I tried telling my dad how important it is that I be in Boston in a few weeks so that I can finally meet my imaginary girlfriend, but he just didn’t care. The trip will take us right to the end of summer. Hopefully. I think I’ll be back by the time you get to town. Just a few days before you move in.”

“Good,” Felicity grinned up at him. “You can help me move into my dorm. I can buy you a coffee. We can go on a _date_. In _public_. Where I can talk to you without people thinking that I'm talking to myself. No more worrying about looking crazy.” She poked his side, both of them smiling like lovesick fools.

They’d already exhausted every idea and detail they could come up with. Both of them were far too excited about being in the same place. The same city. _Finally_.

“One more month,” Oliver breathed, his voice thick with restlessness. And maybe a few adorable nerves.

“What’s one more month when we’ve been waiting our whole lives?”


	4. The Dying

The sound of thunder woke Felicity from a deep sleep. She blinked, staring up at her ceiling as she slowly came into consciousness. Felicity yawned, stretching her arms above her head. Her clock told her that it was nearly 4:00 a.m, and she groaned, squeezing her eyes shut again.

Knowing that she’d be moving to Boston, starting school, and being with Oliver in just a week…it made her insanely nervous. Everything was about to change. As excited as she was, Felicity was just as anxious. Which led to restless nights and stress.

Another loud clap of thunder made her jump, and she closed her eyes, trying to let the faint sound of rain calm her back to sleep. She had a lot of school shopping to get done in the morning, and she didn’t want to be grumpy all day on one of the last ones she had with her mom before she left.

Felicity frowned, feeling a shiver run through her spine. She’d gone to bed in a tank top and underwear because summers in Nevada were always brutal, and this one was no different. But the chill she felt in the air was freezing, colder than she’d ever felt. And the rain was the opposite of relaxing.

Sitting up, Felicity blinked, reaching for her glasses. As her vision came into focus, her eyes flew to the window. 

Realizing that it wasn’t raining, she felt a knot drop into her stomach. The air in Nevada was thick and humid. 

She wasn’t the one who was caught in this storm.

Crawling out of bed, Felicity closed her eyes and reached for him, doing her best to relax and clear her mind so she could see Oliver.

His mind was far from her, bogged down by fear and confusion. Absolute terror coursing through him. Felicity sunk to her knees as she felt his emotion, forcing herself to take a deep breath in. “Oliver,” she tried, breathing in and releasing it slowly.

Eventually, she started to hear his heartbeat. Felicity put her hand over her own heart, trying something they’d never thought of before. She knew that he was too terrified to hear her, to see anything other than what was happening on that boat. But every breath she took was purposeful, she focused on relaxing each nerve in her body, hoping she could make him feel the same thing.

After a while, as it started to work, she could see and feel more of his world. She could hear the waves roaring over the crashing thunder just as deafeningly loud in her ears as it was for him. She could feel the ice cold water on her skin, filling her lungs, and she began to shake.

“Okay,” she mumbled more to herself than him. “Mind over matter.” She knew that she was breathing. That she was fine. But his world was dark, cold, and breathless.

He was drowning.

Desperate, Felicity pushed herself to be there. To help. She had no idea what she could do, if anything. But she couldn’t do nothing. She knew with certainty that he’d die.

“Oliver,” Felicity dropped her hands to the carpet of her bedroom, trying to ground herself, nausea taking over as she felt the waves he was enduring. Through him, she could feel the sea, tossing him around relentlessly, and it was disorienting. “You have to move, baby,” she panted, feeling like she couldn’t catch her breath. Talking to him lowly, Felicity did her best to encourage Oliver, pushing him to fight. And to hide her own fear. She knew that she had to be the one to stay calm, but every time he managed to get his head above water, another wave dragged him under.

At one point, both of them exhausted and feeling helpless, Oliver surfaced again just as a flash of lightning illuminated the reality of the storm they were in, and she saw through his eyes…the boat in the distance, half of it sticking out of the water, on its way down to the ocean floor. “Oh god,” Oliver managed, coughing up more salt water.

Felicity felt his heart rate increase, dread overtaking him as he grew tired. She could sense his helplessness, and in turn she buckled down. “Don’t stop swimming,” she pleaded. “Please, Oliver. Just keep moving.”

“Nowhere to go,” he choked out.

And Felicity covered her mouth, slamming her eyes shut because he was right. All they could see were walls of waves and rain. There was no escaping the dark water, and it seemed like it would never end. “You have to try. Oliver…” she inhaled, shaking her head. “I can’t lose you.”

It felt like a selfish thing to say, but he started to move again, treading water and taking deep breaths when he was able, fighting to get as much air as he could. She nodded to herself, “I love you.”

Oliver didn’t reply, working to control his breath and predict the waves, trying to move with them rather than letting them knock him around again. Felicity forced a smile, “good, Oliver. Okay.”

He seemed to calm down as she spoke, so she just kept talking. Soothing him, encouraging to keep going despite how tired she knew he was. He was fighting to even keep his eyes open, let alone continue swimming. She could feel how numb he was, his fingers and toes useless, but still he kicked. And she’d never been more proud of anyone.

Focusing, Felicity kept her eyes on the waters, but the darkness in the sky seemed like it’d be that way forever. The rain wasn’t letting up at all. And the waves were still violent, malicious as if the universe was punishing them.

It felt like hours, but it could have been minutes. Her face was soaked in tears, and she knew that he couldn’t survive this. That it wouldn’t be much longer before his body and the storm would win out over his will. His love.

But she bit back the words that tightened her chest. She refused to say any goodbyes. 

Closing her eyes, Felicity saw a flash of light, but it wasn’t as sharp or ominous as the lightning. She opened her eyes again, straining to see through the rain and darkness. “Oliver,” she gasped when she saw it again. A single light piercing through the sheets of rain. “Do you see that?”

He nodded, his eyes intent on the place the light had been.

A moment later, they could hear someone screaming his name, the sound muffled through all the noise of the storm. “That’s my dad,” Oliver mumbled breathlessly.

Felicity encouraged him to swim towards the light, inching slowly but surely. When they got close enough, Oliver called back out to Robert, his voice gravelly from all the water he’d swallowed. But his dad heard him, the life raft turning back towards them, the flashlight searching. Felicity felt her heart soar, hope and relief flooding through her and pushing Oliver to keep his head above water a little longer, to swim a little farther.

She let out a relieved laugh as Robert and a surviving crew member finally noticed him. They fished Oliver out of the ocean, hauling him into the boat. And he caught his breath, shivering as the men looked him over. Now safe, Oliver began to close his eyes and Felicity could feel the connection fading.

It made her freeze at first, panicked that something bad was happening, but he was exhausted. She wanted to keep him conscious, just so she could know that he was okay. But his heart was beating, his breath was even, and he couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore. He could barely move.

Knowing that he was safe with his dad for now, Felicity released a deep breath.

He'd fought so hard and she couldn't shake the feeling that he'd done it for her. “Rest, Oliver,” she mumbled, sinking back against the wall in her bedroom, feeling beyond tired herself.

“Thank you,” he breathed back, just for her, before finally succumbing to sleep.

* * *

Oliver had no idea how long he’d been on the raft. 

He came in and out of consciousness, and whenever he opened his eyes, his dad would talk to him, but he could barely understand his words. They poured water into his mouth and tried to get him to sit up, but he couldn't make sense of any of it. He heard his father and the captain mumbling about being in shock, and he mused that it sounded about right.

More than anything though, he worried for Felicity. His dad told him they’d been on the life raft for days, but he hadn’t been able to focus long enough to feel her or to reach out for her. He couldn’t remember much about the wreck or surviving it, but he knew in his bones that Felicity had played a huge part in his survival. Did she know he made it to the boat? Was she trying to find him? God forbid, did she think he was dead?

Oliver wanted to tell her that he was okay, that everything would be all right, but every time he closed his eyes, he couldn’t think straight. He knew that he needed to relax, clear his mind, and stop panicking. 

Felicity was probably their best chance of being saved anyway. 

But he’d never felt so useless. He was starving, exhausted, and terrified. Even when he was conscious, it was impossible to focus on anything beyond that. It felt like his mind was bogged down, foggy, and burnt out, as if the trauma he’d experienced was blocking him from forming any coherent thought; making it impossible to find Felicity through his hazy surroundings. He needed to rest, to get his strength back, and then he could get back to her and they could figure out where the hell he’d ended up.

“Oliver,” he heard his dad mumbling beside him. He tried and failed to open his eyes. “I’ve made a lot of mistakes…things I’ve done that I have to pay for. But you’ve always been innocent. Kind and compassionate, despite the way your mother and I raised you. I always knew you had that somewhere inside of you, but we didn’t do the best job to encourage it.”

He couldn’t even open his eyes, but Oliver took a deep breath. “You need to rest, dad. Save your energy.”

“I’m still so proud of the way you’ve turned out. I understand now that she had  _everything_ to do with who you’ve become…that she’s always seen the best in you. She’s always  _been_ the best in you.”

Oliver’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, thinking that his father meant Felicity… but that was impossible. He was fighting to open his eyes when a loud gunshot rang through the air, causing adrenaline to flood his system.

His eyes flew open, his muscles aching in disagreement as he scrambled to push himself away from his father.

The captain’s body splashed into the water, and Oliver barely had the head space to realize what was happening before Robert raised the gun to his own head.

“Fight, son. Survive.”

“No!” Oliver screamed as his father pulled the trigger.


	5. The Haunting

_Five years later_

“No!” Felicity screamed, jolting upright in her bed.

She’d been having the same nightmare for five years. Reliving the night Oliver’s boat went down. She could feel how dark and cold the water was. How afraid he’d been. The screaming crew members. The insane waves knocking him under, only to resurface and be met by a sheet of rain.

He’d been so disoriented, so confused. So  _scared_.

But he’d made it to the raft. His father had pulled him in while Felicity sat helpless at home, trying her best to relax and breathe, hoping she could share that calm feeling with Oliver.

The moment his father pulled the trigger on himself, Felicity always woke up. She screamed just as Oliver had, his voice and his panic coursing through her every time she had the nightmare.

Feeling a chill in the air, Felicity shivered. She pushed out of bed and shoved her feet into her slippers before maneuvering through her dark apartment and into the kitchen.

Waking up from the nightmare always felt like a trance. After five years without him, Oliver Queen almost didn’t feel real. He’d come into her life so naturally, but losing him had been the most unnatural thing in the world. There were times that she wondered if he was real at all.

But she knew he was.

Making herself a cup of tea, Felicity allowed herself to do something she rarely gave into. She stood at the counter and stared out the window, letting her mind wander to Oliver. Those last moments with him before she lost everything.

It didn’t matter how strong their connection was. She would never understand the depth of what Oliver felt in that life raft. And the trauma of it worked as a blocker between them. The gunshot and his scream were the last things she heard. The shell-shocked, wide-eyed man she loved had to watch his father die right in front of him.

And it broke her heart that that was how she had to remember him.

She couldn’t feel him anymore.

After Robert Queen died, Oliver went into some sort of shock state that she couldn’t get through. She imagined that he was trapped in that tiny raft with his father’s body, a bullet in the man’s head. And she understood exactly why she couldn’t reach him. But she still did everything she could. If there was any peace Felicity had, it was knowing that she did everything she could possibly think of. She tried for hours to get to him. But it just didn’t happen.

It was like someone had taken a chainsaw to the string that connected her to him. She tried so hard, but their world had shifted with the ringing in her ears. The ground she stood on felt unsteady. And by the time the sun set on the day of his father’s death, it was like the part of her that Oliver inhabited was dead.

Somewhere within, she somehow knew that he was gone.

A piece of her heart had slowly been carved from her chest. And she’d be convinced that it was on the ground in front of her if the stinging breaths of air filling her lungs didn’t say otherwise. Had he killed himself, too? Had the elements and panic he felt just been too much to survive? Did another storm hit? Did he starve?

Even five years later, she couldn’t quite explain it. There was no closure. She didn’t  _feel_ him die; the realization was slower and more menacing than that. But it was still as real and true as Oliver’s presence had been. There were no answers she could find about where Oliver’s boat went down or what had happened to him. She tried to solve it. For years. But after a while, a dreadful feeling settled in her soul. One that told her he was dead. And no matter how many times she stayed up all night trying to trace the course The Gambit took, no matter how hard she worked to find him, no matter how much time she spent trying to fix the broken string between them, that feeling was inescapable.   
  


He was dead. Yet she continued to live.

Turning, Felicity glanced around her apartment as if she was seeing it for the first time. She’d lived in Starling for two years. After graduating early, she’d moved to the place Oliver was from. It wasn’t a coincidence. She’d tried to find answers from the city, even worked at QC for a while. But there was never even a shred of hope for her to cling to. He’d just vanished from the world and from her life. On nights like tonight, she felt the reality of it all over again.

As she stared at her belongings, there was a pain in her chest, a discomfort in her soul. Like she couldn’t believe that the world continued to turn without Oliver in it.

She avoided the feeling, because it usually screwed her mind up for days whenever she let it settle. But tonight, she was feeling especially self-destructive. The five years felt like hell. After living her whole life with Oliver by her side, knowing what they had, it  _was_ hell. 

It wasn’t just a hollow hole in her chest from his absence. It was something vital, something necessary inside of her that simply didn’t exist anymore.

It seemed impossible. Oliver had been  _that_ important. The piece of her soul that belonged to him was stolen, and she was certain that she would never get it back. It still amazed and disturbed her that she was alive. Like she’d had her heart ripped from her chest and somehow survived it.

Felicity Smoak was never quite the same after that.

* * *

 

The rest of Felicity’s day went much the same. She felt a little out of it, not on her best game. As the CEO of her own company, that wasn’t exactly acceptable. Due to a lack of sleep, she was running late, which meant she had to forgo her morning stop at the coffee shop in order to make it in on time.

By the time she was sitting at her desk, catching her breath and peeling her coat off, she already felt ready to go home. Felicity frowned, knowing how much she hated days like that. She loved Smoak Technologies and she loved her employees.

Speaking of…

Felicity slumped back into her chair as she watched Curtis wave through the door, opening it with one hand and holding up a hot latte in the other. She sighed, “for me?”

Curtis smiled, “saw you come in without one. Just doing my duty in making sure the building doesn’t wind up burnt to the ground.”

Felicity chuckled as Curtis set the cup on her desk. “Good idea.” She hummed, smelling the perfect blend of coffee and mocha; considering how much she’d regret it if she drank the whole thing. Scorching her insides probably wouldn’t make her day much better though. “How’s the project coming?” Felicity asked, distracting herself from the coffee and from all the thoughts of Oliver clogging her mind.

“Good,” Curtis nodded, putting his hands in his pockets. “The prototype for the chip is looking promising. Do you really want to hear about it though?” He pulled his wrist up to his face, checking his watch. “Doesn’t your meeting with the financial board start in like, two minutes?”

“Meeting?” Her face dropped. They needed to convince the board that an implantable chip was worth the money it would take. And the risk. She’d been preparing for the meeting for a month, and she’d completely forgot. “Oh god.”

Curtis flinched, but quickly gained his composure, “okay,” he said, his voice rising. “You take a few minutes to prepare. I’ll go stall.”

When she nodded in agreement, Curtis took off down the hall.

She went over her notes and mentally prepared to face the board, and she was mostly pleased with the meeting. But still, she couldn’t believe she’d let it slip her mind.

Curtis brought her another coffee and a muffin while she worked through lunch, and she spent the rest of her day in her office. Her shoes came off as soon as she was back from the meeting, and she had papers scattered around the room an hour later. Between employees stopping in and phone calls, Felicity worked on fine-tuning some of her inventors’ ideas, highlighting details they’d need to make paper proposals into products.

By the end of the day, she was absolutely spent. And starving. On her drive home she focused on deciding what she wanted to eat, and eventually settled for a pizza. The rest of the way, she inhaled the scent of the pie and tried to perk up at the thought of eating it.

Coming into the apartment, she dropped the box on the counter before throwing her purse and keys on the couch, and then kicking off her heels again. Felicity pulled a beer from the fridge, cracking it open as she danced around the kitchen, finally digging into the pizza. She carried the slice in one hand and the bottle in the other, heading towards the couch and sitting down.

Felicity contemplated whether to turn on the television or pick up a book, both options sounding great after the day she’d had. “But a bath,” she mumbled to herself, raising an eyebrow. Having a second beer in the bathtub sounded like exactly what she needed.

When she was finished her pizza, she moved towards her bedroom, picking out her warmest fleece pajama pants, a sweatshirt, and her fuzzy slippers. As she dug through her underwear drawer, her finger touched the photo she kept hidden in there, and she sighed. It felt like the first moment since she woke up where Oliver wasn’t in the back, or the front, of her mind. But she couldn’t stop herself from pulling the photo out.

She’d stolen it from Moira Queen’s office while she worked at Queen Consolidated. There’d been a glitch on the woman’s computer during Felicity’s first night on the job. And she’d taken a late night ride up to the top floor with shaking hands. It turned out that Moira had just forgotten to shut her system down, but Felicity noticed the photo of Oliver on her desk. Taken on a sidewalk in Boston, it was from the day he’d moved into college. The way he smiled in the picture made her feel like her heart was breaking all over again.

And she knew it was probably one of Moira’s favorites, since it was on her desk, but Felicity had to take it. It was cruel to do to a grieving mother, but Felicity told herself that Moira must have another copy on her camera or at home. At least, she definitely had plenty other pictures of her son. Felicity had nothing. Only the memory of him in her mind. So she’d shoved the picture in her pocket and hurried out of the office.

Setting her beer on her dresser, Felicity sat down on her bed, staring at the photograph. She let her finger roam over his cheek, remembering the way he’d blush and squirm whenever she’d touch his face, admiring him.

The photograph was the only thing Felicity had of him. And it wasn’t even hers. She had nothing physical to hold on to. And for some reason, that had always felt like the most upsetting part. Like the universe wanted her to forget him, or convince her he was never real.

There were certainly days when Felicity felt crazy. But the photo continued to remind her that she knew Oliver Queen. Knew him like the back of her hand.

She had no idea how long she’d been sitting there, but a knock on the door finally broke her out of her trance. Tucking the picture back into her drawer, Felicity moved through her apartment like a zombie.

When she reached the door, she pushed onto her toes to look through the peephole. Then she sighed and swung it open. Ray Palmer stood in front of her, flashing a brilliant white smile when he saw her. “Hey.”

Felicity forced a smile back, her eyes glancing down at the brown paper bag in his hands. The Chinese food wafted her nose, and she pursed her lips, “hi.”

“Hungry?” His smile widened.

Crossing her arms, she hoped it wasn’t too rude when she shook her head, standing between him and the apartment, clearly not inviting him inside. “I already ate.”

“Oh,” Ray frowned, looking disappointed.

And Felicity tried not to be annoyed. It was a nice gesture. “Besides, I meant what I said in my text earlier, I’d like to be alone tonight.”

“I know,” Ray nodded, “I just thought you might be hungry.” And that she’d invite him to come in and eat. It was one of her biggest pet peeves with Ray, always trying to turn ‘no’ into ‘yes’. Not that she’d ever really voiced how much she didn’t like it. Usually she bit her tongue and tried to be more clear the next time. But not tonight. She truly didn’t care how awkward turning him away felt.

“I’m sorry Ray,” she glanced away from him. “Not tonight, okay?”

“Are you all right?” He asked, his eyebrows furrowing in concern. Felicity let out a deep breath. He really wasn’t a bad guy. He was sweet and brilliant and attentive. But there was always a voice in her head that told her he wasn’t the man for her, that he’d be better off with someone else. Someone who hadn’t had her heart pulled from her chest and forced to keep living. 

When that voice was feeling especially catty, it also reminded her that Ray Palmer was certainly no Oliver Queen.

She really couldn’t argue with that.

“Uh,” Ray shifted in the doorway, “next week’s technically our one year.”

Felicity blinked, processing the words. “Yeah,” she nodded, wondering what it said about her that their first anniversary hadn’t even crossed her mind.

“Maybe I could come over and make you dinner?”

Nodding, Felicity continued to stare at him. “Sure, that sounds great.”

“Okay,” Ray smiled, “well,” he held out the bag to her, “I’ll leave you lunch tomorrow, then.” He stepped forward as she took the bag, kissing her on the cheek. “Call me?”

“Okay,” Felicity mumbled.

Watching as Ray got in his car and drove off, Felicity felt a little nauseous. Five years without Oliver had felt like a slow and painful death. But a year had gone by since she’d finally agreed to date Ray, and it felt like she’d only blinked. It was unsettling to her that there wasn’t much in terms of their relationship that particularly stood out.

With a sigh, Felicity shook her head, snapping herself out of it. She really needed to get a good night’s sleep so she could stop zoning out. She glanced around the street, hoping none of her neighbors were watching her linger in her doorway.

As she looked, her attention was caught by a figure standing under the light across the street and a few houses down. She frowned, cocking her head to the side when the man shoved his hands into his pockets and turned away from her, walking quickly down the street as soon as she noticed him. “Okay,” Felicity mumbled to herself. “That isn’t creepy.”

But there was something familiar about him. Something calming in a way. Which was odd considering he was lurking outside her house and she hadn’t even seen his face.

Her heart lurched into her throat. Maybe it was all of the Oliver daydreaming she’d indulged in, or maybe it was something more. But the thought that he could be alive made her stop breathing.

The figure was walking quickly, getting farther away, and Felicity tried to ignore it, let the ridiculous idea go and close her door, enjoy a beer and a bath and forget she’d even  _think_ such a thing. He died. The emptiness in her soul convinced her of that a long time ago.

As the man turned down the next street, disappearing from view, Felicity felt something inside her snap. She dropped the bag of food, jumping over it on her bare feet and racing in the direction he’d gone.

When she rounded the corner, she caught sight of him again, and she ran after him. “Hey,” Felicity heaved as she reached him, grabbing his jacket and spinning him around.

The face she found was not the man she’d been hoping to see. Her heart dropped from her throat to her stomach. It wasn’t him, but the eyes that looked down at her didn’t seem surprised to see her. 

Felicity narrowed her eyes, raking her memory until she placed his face. “You.”

“Not quite time yet, Felicity.” He smirked, grabbing her hand and unlatching her grip on his jacket as gently as he could. Once he was free, he started backing away. She stared after him, not making sense of anything. 

“Wait,” she mumbled when he turned down an alley and disappeared from view again.

Felicity inhaled sharply, following after him, but by the time she reached the mouth of the alley, he was nowhere to be seen. She glanced around the street, only noticing a few people giving her strange looks for running around barefoot and confused.

Not knowing what else to do, Felicity rushed back to her apartment, intent on digging up every bit of information she possibly could. Whoever Rory Regan truly was, Felicity planned on finding out.


	6. The Hoping

_ _

_ Four years ago _

The only thing that kept Oliver going was the hope that Felicity was still out there, alive. Not being able to feel her made everything about his life feel cold and empty. He’d never known that kind of loneliness, and it was an every day struggle to remind himself that she was alive. Not being able to feel her was like a trick his mind was playing on him, trying to convince him otherwise. But he had no reason to believe that she wasn’t okay, aside from the fact that he’d lost his connection to her. 

It’d been a year since he’d held her, heard her voice, or felt her light warm him. For the first time since he was a kid, he felt alone. Completely alone. Yet he knew that however it had happened, and for whatever reason, losing Felicity was for the best.

He knew in his heart that she must believe he died. Because of the boat and the fact that they couldn’t sense each other anymore. If Felicity thought he was alive, she would have found him by now. In his darkest moments, there was a small part of him that wished she would. That she’d find him, save him, and everything could go back to normal. It was the daydream he held onto to keep his sanity intact. But it was a selfish hope. 

Felicity being anywhere near him would be the worst kind of hell. It’d mean she was in the same place as him. The same torture and pain.

It was what kept him from breaking, from giving in and answering the questions they hounded him with every day for the last year since the Gambit went down.  _ Where is the girl? _

But he knew that Felicity wasn’t their priority. He was. 

It was clear that they knew she existed, but they didn’t know a damn thing about her, not even her name, and he wasn’t about to give them a single clue. 

They were constantly running tests on him, experimenting, taking his blood, putting him through fifty kinds of torture just to see what he could survive. He was an animal to them.

He’d rather die than let that happen to her.

There were days that he wanted to die, though. Days that he hoped they’d end it rather than putting him through more pain. 

His cell was four cement walls, a dirty floor, and a musty, damp smell that never went away. There was a window in the top corner of the room, and sometimes his captors would open it, if only to give him a little bit of necessary vitamin D. He could hear birds and the sound of waves whenever they left the window open. Fresh air was more valuable than it’d ever been.

They kept him weak. Giving him just enough food and water to survive. They injected him with things he didn’t know, kept him chained, and shoved pills down his throat; the whole time, none of them would say a word.

He estimated about a year in that room, but he couldn’t be certain. Time wasn’t a privilege they offered, but he forced himself to count the days between sleep and awake, like a mantra in his head. 

One day, a man in a hazmat suit entered the room. 

They always kept their faces hidden, which only drove him even more insane. But usually it was black gear covering them from head to toe. Like ghosts. Oliver flinched at the protective suit the stranger wore. It’d been a few months since they brought in any kind of equipment or medical supplies, but last time they did, their torture involved some kind of electrical shocks. 

“No,” he said through clenched teeth, his arms weakly pulling at the restraints on his wrists. The first thing the figure did was walk over to the window, sliding the steel lock and swinging it open. Then he slowly inched towards Oliver, leaning down to see him better. He pulled his mask off, and the first face Oliver saw in a year was that of a dark haired young man. He smiled, “Hi there, Oliver.”

Blinking, Oliver stared up at him, not trusting the friendly greeting or the fact that the stranger wasn’t trying to hurt him. Yet. “Who the hell are you?” Oliver spat back, confused by his ease and the fact that he was revealing his face.

“My name is Rory Regan. I’m here to get you off this hellish island.”

The words should have been music to his ears. But trusting them would have made him a fool. It didn’t matter how much he wanted to believe it, or how many times he’d wished for someone to save him. Rory smiled again, reading Oliver’s disbelief. “I’m sure after everything you’ve been through, you’re not so easily convinced.” He pulled out a tiny black pill from his pocket, holding it up between his gloved fingers. Oliver recognized it as the thing his captors had been feeding him every day since he got there. “This is what’s keeping you from Felicity.”

Oliver stiffened at her name, dread setting in because...someone knew it. His eyes fixated on Rory, trying to come up with a way to get the jump on him, kill him before he had a chance to say her name out loud ever again. “See,” Rory continued, ignoring the murderous rage in Oliver's eyes. “The truth is, the people doing this to you are terrified of you, Oliver. They’re petrified of what you can do.”

“I can’t do anything,” Oliver argued, shaking his head. “I’m just a kid who was in a boating accident.” But if he had a weapon in hand, Oliver would make sure the man in front of him was lifeless, one way or another.

“Mm,” Rory pulled a face, “I think you know by now that it wasn't an accident.” Oliver stared, waiting for more. But Rory just huffed, glancing over his shoulder, “look, I don’t have a lot of time. I’m supposed to give you this pill and block your connection to Felicity. If you don’t believe me,” he offered him the tiny black capsule, “then don’t swallow that. You’ll feel her again in a few hours.” 

He spoke with such authority, and Oliver wasn’t sure if it was because the words were true, or if it was just him wanting desperately to believe it. In the end, he chose skepticism over blind faith. “These people have asked me about her constantly.” Even though Rory had used her name, Oliver didn’t dare say it out loud. Not here. “If they want to find her, why would they give me a drug that stops them from doing exactly that?”

“I told you, Oliver. They’re cowards. They’d rather hold you hostage, hide behind their masks and their experiments, than let you figure out how strong you are when your back's against a wall. You’re not normal, and that terrifies them. They don't want to risk what could happen if they don't give you these." He gestured to the pill. "There’s so much more to what you’re capable of that you don’t even realize yet. That’s what scares them.”

Oliver shook his head, clenching his fist around the pill. “What do you want from me?”

“I want to show you what you’re capable of,” Rory grinned. “I’ll be back at sundown." He straightened his shoulders, sobering. "We’re ready to extract you, Mr. Queen, but you’re going to have to come willingly. And I’m going to need you to listen to me, follow my instructions carefully.”

Rory stood up, backing away towards the door. “You have some time to consider...but the choice seems pretty obvious from where I’m standing.” With his hand on the door, Rory turned back to offer one more thing for Oliver to mull over. 

“And Oliver, I hope you can trust me when I say that she’s safe. I’ve made sure of it.” He nodded once, his lip twitching, pulling one side of his mouth up into a smirk. “She’s feisty as hell...she’ll be okay.”

* * *

_ Five years ago _

Oliver couldn’t take his eyes off of his father’s lifeless form. He knew that it’d be scarred into his mind for the rest of his life, but he couldn’t stop. It was so surreal, like he wasn’t even there. The whole thing felt like a dream, dazed and unreliable. 

A part of him was waiting to wake up, but he didn’t. Another part of him was waiting for his father to sit up and laugh, tell him that the whole thing was some twisted joke...but he didn’t. 

The hole in Robert’s head and the blood staining the raft were violent reminders that what he’d seen really did happen.

Oliver had no idea how long he sat staring, curled up with his legs to his chest and his dad’s body slumped on the opposite side of the raft. He could feel the sun taking a toll on his body; his vision blackening, arms and legs feeling numb, his mouth going dry, his skin feeling like it was on fire.

Eventually, he could barely lift his head up, the waves rocking the raft in an almost relaxing way. It was treacherous though, a deceiving comfort.

He refused to close his eyes, knowing that if he did, he probably would never open them again.

When the masked men came, lifting him out of the raft and hauling him onto a speedboat, he was certain that it was all a hallucination, that he must be dying from heat stroke or something. 

“Wait,” he slurred anyway, trying to push back. “Dad. My dad.”

A gray haired man came into view, putting his face right up to Oliver’s and shaking his head in pity. “Sh, sh, sh, don’t worry. We’ll make sure he has a nice funeral. I’ll even have someone sing Amazing Grace as we bury him if it makes you feel better.” 

Oliver’s eyebrows pushed together as the man continued. “Robert failed to send us a signal. Luckily it didn’t ruin  _ everything _ , though. You’re still alive, aren’t you? Man, I’m sure glad your father died for nothing...may he rest in peace.” The smile that crossed his face was all chaos and sick delight, “we’ve been looking for you, Mr. Queen.”

* * *

 

Rolling the dark capsule between his fingers, Oliver stared at it, considering everything Rory Regan had said and whether or not he should believe any of it. Deciding not to take the pill was an easy choice. Even taking his chances by leaving with the stranger was obviously a better option than staying in that cell.

But that didn't mean that Rory was telling the truth. He was still conflicted, broken after so long without any kind of human connection. It made it hard to believe that anyone, let alone a stranger, would want to help him.

As Oliver scratched his thumb against the drug, he heard a voice that made him freeze, everything coming to a sudden halt. 

Felicity was humming.

It was a song he'd never heard before, but he recognized her voice instantly. Oliver squeezed his eyes shut, listening to the sound and imaging her at home; cooking or cleaning as she hummed without realizing that she was doing it. He let out a deep breath, feeling his eyes well with tears.

She was alive. She was safe. And that was the most important thing. Between the devil he knew; the masked men, and the devil he didn't; Rory Regan, Oliver couldn't risk any of them finding her through him. If he was the reason they found her, if he lead them right to her, he'd never forgive himself. As much as it killed him to think that she was hurting, believing he was dead, Oliver knew it was the only way she'd be safe.

Feeling like he was killing himself just a little bit more, breaking his soul more than his captors already had, Oliver allowed himself to listen to her hum just a little bit longer. He focused on her voice, praying that he could burn it to his memory forever.

And then he tossed the pill into his mouth and swallowed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter makes sense in terms of timeline. Explanatory flashbacks! Yay! Also want to say thank you to everyone commenting and sharing your thoughts so far. I love reading your theories about where this is going and I'm so happy that no one has gotten too close yet ;) Thank you all so much!!


	7. The Returning

Owning Smoak Technologies meant late nights and missed dinners. It meant cancelled plans and prioritizing work over her friends. Felicity didn’t even dare entertain insane ideas like a night off.

It was the main reason that she and Ray Palmer worked so well together. They were both busy, so she never really had to feel guilty about bailing on him. She’d cancel one week, something would come up for him the next, and they both understood. They made it work when they needed it to. He was probably the one person in her life that she didn’t feel like she was disappointing.

Her mother strongly encouraged her to take a break from the office. Even her employees tried to coax her into it, promising they’d survive a week without her. But her company was still her baby, and she couldn’t leave it to a babysitter until she knew that it was ready to take a few steps without her hovering.

Even just being in her office felt more like where she belonged than anywhere else in her life. It was sad to think about, but Smoak Technologies felt like the only home she had in Starling.

Of course, that had everything to do with Oliver Queen.

She’d been thinking about him a lot ever since Rory Regan showed up to lurk outside her apartment. Felicity had no idea how or why Rory was connected to Oliver, but she couldn't stop herself from hoping. His words played on a constant loop in her head for an entire week. _Not quite time yet._

Time for what...she still wasn’t sure. But she didn’t mind the distraction of finding out. It’d been a long time since she really got to dive into research. Not since she’d been searching for Oliver, still hoping that he was alive.

Maybe it was all the mystery and hacking that made her think about Oliver so much. The repressed thoughts of him had been broken like a dam releasing a flood, and now she couldn’t stop.

When Felicity closed her eyes, she could still see him so clearly. She still remembered every inch of his face, and she wanted to make sure that she always would.

Without any real coping skills or someone to confide in, Felicity’s grief had taken on a life of its own. It led her to Starling City, and into the doors of Queen Consolidated. It had felt strange, wrong on a certain level, to meet Oliver’s mother and sister, to walk the same halls as his family, not telling them how she knew the one they’d lost.

Eventually the pain of his death subsided into numbness, and finally acceptance. But the ache always seemed to remain, a weight on her chest that she’d grown used to. Thinking about Oliver was a lot like ripping out stitches. Making sure the scars never faded. She wanted them. She wanted the reminders that Oliver Queen was real. That he existed in her life as much as anyone else she’d known.

Felicity shook her head. Then she saved her work and closed her laptop, having enough of that, too.

Glancing up at the clock, she knew that if she left now, she could be in Coast City by midnight. And then she’d finally get the answers she deserved. Rory might have thought that he was mysterious and sly with his vague little clues. But she’d found him. Of course she did.

As she pulled her coat on and packed up her things, her phone began to ring. Felicity fished it out of her pocket and winced as she looked down at the three missed calls and ten unread messages. Ray Palmer was persistent, if anything. She contemplated ignoring his fourth attempt at reaching her, but she knew if she did, she’d just have to deal with her phone ringing all night. Turning it off wasn’t an option because she needed it to get to Coast City.

With a groan, Felicity slid her thumb across the screen to answer, tossing her bag over her shoulder at the same time. “Hey Ray,” she greeted as cheerily as she could manage, “I can’t talk right now. I’m just leaving work, I have to head up to Coast City tonight. Meeting with an investor early tomorrow morning.” She didn’t pride herself on being a good liar. In fact, she was actually quite horrible at it. But she’d practiced this one, prepared to explain to her boyfriend why she was leaving town.

“What?” Ray asked. “Felicity, what are you talking about? Are you serious?”

She hesitated, pausing with her hand on the light switch in her office. He sounded upset, which never really happened. “Well...yes?”

“I’m at your place!” He sighed, “Felicity, please tell me you didn’t forget our anniversary.”

Her heart dropped into her stomach. Dinner. They’d talked about it...he was going to let himself into her apartment and get their anniversary dinner started and she was going to meet him there after work. _Frack_.

“Oh, Ray,” she huffed, “I’m so sorry.”

There was a long pause on the other end, and she knew that Ray was choosing his next words carefully. But the decision was already made. It’d taken her a week to hunt down Rory Regan, and she wasn’t going to waste any more time. Although she totally felt like an asshole. “So…” Ray started, “you’re not coming, then?”

“No,” she answered quietly, “I can’t miss this meeting. I’m really sorry.”

“Felicity,” he groaned.

“Help yourself to the wine in the fridge. And anything else you need. I’ll um- I’ll be back tomorrow night and we can talk about this, okay? I’m so, _so_ sorry.”

“All right,” he agreed with a sigh, sounding more like a disappointed boyfriend than he ever had before. Ray usually accepted her bailing on their plans with a smile. It was probably one of the main reasons they’d lasted a year. He wasn’t bothered by very much. Yet, she understood why this would be irritating. Anniversaries were supposed to be important. Apparently, just not to her…

Hanging up with a disappointed Ray, Felicity walked down the hallway, her heels clicking as she went. By day, the office was loud and busy, so it always creeped her out a little bit when she stayed late.

Felicity crossed her arms as she walked to the elevator, hauling her bag higher on her shoulder. As she got closer to the doors, she heard them hum to life. The elevator began to move, the cables rubbing together. Felicity stopped, frowning as she watched the buttons light up. The elevator cab climbed upwards, and her instincts kicked in, giving her a bad feeling.

When it made another tone, stopping on her floor, Felicity decided to hide behind the corner, ducking into the shadow as the doors slid open. She couldn’t see the elevator anymore, but she let out a sharp breath. She knew it was probably just the custodial staff or an employee who forgot their phone. Felicity cursed herself for overreacting.

Rolling her eyes at her own dramatics, Felicity was about to step out of her hiding place when she saw a man in a mask walk by her, his footsteps completely silent. Felicity gasped, covering her own mouth with her hand.

She stared at him, dressed in black from head to toe. _Creepy_. Staying perfectly still, Felicity watched as he moved into her office.

Out of sight once he turned the corner, but she could still hear him shuffling through her things. Searching her office. Part of her wanted to confront the intruder, toss a heel at his head and tell him to get lost. But the hair on the back of her neck rose, and something told her that this was not a common thief.

If she didn’t get out of her spot, the guy would definitely see her when he walked out of her office. Felicity carefully took her shoes off, slowly and as quietly as she could. And then she made a run for the stairs. With her heart hammering in her chest and her anxiety high, Felicity foolishly let the emergency door slam shut behind her, heavy and loud.

Cringing, she hoped he didn’t hear it, whoever he was. But she also wasn’t about to wait and see.

Knowing that all of the levels were locked at night, Felicity was breathless as she reached the ground floor. She busted out of the stairwell and charged for the front doors of the lobby. Those were always locked too, only her inventors had badges that let them in after hours.

Could the masked creep be someone she’d hired?

None of the alarms were going off and she didn’t see any broken glass. “How the hell did you get in here, you sketchy little ninja,” she grumbled to herself as she half ran, half tip-toed to the door.

Before she could reach it, a pair of hands grabbed her, covering her mouth to stop her from screaming, and dragged her into a supply closet.

She fought against the body, the thick muscles that restrained her in the dark, tiny space. Felicity imagined another masked man, her intruder must have brought a friend. And she was terrified to find out what they wanted with her.

Thrashing against him, Felicity heard the man grunt, pinning her arms down by wrapping his own around her middle. She was just about to throw her head back against his nose and show him how thick her skull was when she suddenly froze.

It was his smell that Felicity recognized first, but his gentle groan outside her ear also stirred something inside; her senses flooding with recognition.

And then it was suddenly as if the hand over her mouth was as familiar to her as her own skin.

Felicity opened her eyes, breathing heavily and staying still. When he realized that she wasn’t trying to beat the crap out of him anymore, he loosened his grip.

Felicity turned her head, meeting a pair of blue eyes that died long ago.

He released his hold on her, seeing that she wasn’t about to scream or run away. Slowly, he removed his hand from her mouth.

“How?” she whimpered breathlessly, wondering if she was dreaming.

He shook his head, using his thumb on the corner of her lips to quiet her this time.

He cracked open the door just as two more masked men walked by. And for some reason she felt safer. Her whole body responded to him, knowing that Oliver was here to protect her without him having to say a word.

Silently, he closed the door again, turning back to her. Felicity stared up at him, taking a moment to let the last five minutes sink in. But that was impossible to do. “Felicity,” he whispered her name.

He was older, his face thinner, his hair lighter, and his body more muscular. Mostly though, it was his eyes that struck her. They were different somehow. More broken. But it was _him_.

“I’m going to need you to fight.”

Her eyes widened as she put his words together. The men outside the closet were clearly not friends of hers, or his for that matter...but _fight_?

“I’ve never even thrown a punch,” she breathed.

Smiling gently, Oliver moved his thumb from her lips, brushing it across her cheek inexorably, his expression haunted. It made her shiver, like _she_ was a ghost to _him_ , rather than the other way around. And then he pulled his hand away. “That’s okay...I have,” he mumbled.

Her mind was reeling. “What does that have to do with-” she was cut off when Oliver kicked the door open, catching the attention of the masked men. “Oh frack,” her adrenaline raced as the masks started to move in her direction, charging towards the closet as the door crashed against the wall.

When the men got closer, she stepped out, looking to Oliver...who had his damn eyes closed. “Oh my god!” She cried, “what!?”

As the masked men reached her, Felicity was gaping at Oliver, wondering what the _hell_ he was doing. But as soon as one of the intruders reached out to grab her, Felicity turned on him, blocking his hand and punching him square in the nose.

Shocked, Felicity stared down at her own throbbing hand, “what!?” She screamed again.

The next thing she knew, she was ducking, avoiding the arms of the next assailant who attempted to wrap his arms around her in a bear grip. She quickly shoved him back, using her foot this time, driving it into his chest and knocking the wind out of him. The man hurled forward, and her knee was colliding with his face a moment later.

Felicity’s eyes were wild as she glanced back at Oliver.

At least his eyes were open now… He took her hand, pulling her quickly to the door. As they reached the parking lot, she glanced up at the Smoak Tech building, seeing a hoard of the faceless creeps charging down the stairwell through a window on the east side.

“Car, Felicity. Where’s your car?” Oliver tugged on her hand, staring up at the approaching trouble.

“Right here,” she tore her eyes away from the men and pointed to it. “I-I don’t have my keys. I dropped my purse somewhere in there...”

Without a word, Oliver moved to her car. He swung open the door and popped the hood, rounding the car again quickly. She stared at him for a moment, and then at the glass window, watching as the men barreled down the steps, clearly after them.

She had plenty of questions, but in a matter of seconds, her car was starting and Oliver was slamming the hood shut.

He reached for her, helping her into the driver’s seat. “You just hot wired my car,” she breathed as he sat beside her.

Without warning, her foot slammed on the gas, pulling into traffic. She could see the men pushing out of the building just as she sped off. “What the hell is happening!?” Felicity demanded, weaving in and out of traffic with better skill and precision than she’d ever been able to manage.

“We’re escaping,” Oliver answered.

Felicity threw him a glare, “this isn’t me. You’re doing this. How are you doing this!?” When he stayed quiet, Felicity blinked, pulling her hands off the wheel. “Do I even need to-” her hands forcefully seized the wheel, controlling the car again. “Woah,” she breathed.

“Yes,” he snarled. “You need to.”

Her eyes darted to him, a sharper, more crude tone in his voice than she could ever remember him capable of. “Where have you been?”

Oliver’s eyes softened a bit, meeting her gaze. “Later, Felicity.”

So, she kept her mouth shut. He didn’t offer anything else, and she didn’t say a word. Felicity could see the determination in his eyes, a disturbing coldness in his gaze.

Finally, he pulled off the road, or she did, she wasn’t really sure how the hell he was controlling her movements like that. But it freaked her out. Not to mention the fact that he was just sitting there, not saying a word and not explaining what the hell was happening.

As the car crawled to a stop on the side of the highway, well on their way out of town, Oliver cleared his throat. “Are you all right?” He asked lowly.

In response, Felicity shoved the door open and jumped out of the car.

Oliver was right behind, following her when she stalked off into the field to her right. She needed her feet to take her somewhere, trying to shake the feeling of her brain not knowing what her hands were doing. It was _weird_. “How are you here?” She wheeled around on him, demanding an answer with more fire in her heart than she’d felt in years. There was once a time when she’d let herself daydream about seeing Oliver again.

This was never how she pictured it.

“I...I felt you _die_.”

“They broke our connection,” he answered, holding his hands up in surrender. "They have a way of keeping people like us apart."

“Who!?”

“The men back there,” Oliver gestured in the direction of her company, the building’s logo shining in the city from miles away. “H.I.V.E.”


	8. The Sacrificing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy two month anniversary to this fic! Thank you all for the love and feedback. And theories ;) I appreciate it so so so much!

"What the hell is H.I.V.E? Why are they after me?" Felicity demanded, her eyes wild with adrenaline. He could see her breaths heaving in her chest as effortlessly as he could feel them in his lungs. Everything about her was flooding his senses, and Oliver had to close his eyes and focus just to stop himself from letting it overwhelm him. Seeing her, _feeling_ her, was just like coming up for air in the midst of drowning. And he knew just what that felt like.

"They're an organization. Humans for Inquiry of Variant Energy."

"What the hell does that mean?"

Oliver stepped closer to Felicity, "it means that there are people out there who want to hurt us. They're afraid of our connection, so they want to destroy it."

"How do they know about us? How are you here? _Alive_." Her eyes darted between his as if she was still trying to decide whether or not he was real. "How did they keep you from me? What do they want? Where have you _been_?" Felicity's voice cracked, her eyes welling with tears.

"Hey," Oliver closed the distance between them, taking her head between his hands. He cupped her cheeks, brushing his fingers through her hair. Felicity leaned her face into his palm as he tucked her hair behind her ears. "I know you have a lot of questions," he soothed, his voice just a low hum. "I understand that it's all a lot to take in, and I can't tell you how sorry I am that _this_ is how you had to find out." Sighing, Oliver dropped his forehead to hers, his fingers tightening in her hair. He closed his eyes for a moment, letting her settle back into his soul where she belonged. Like coming home. "I never wanted you in the middle of this, Felicity. I need you to believe that all I've ever tried to do is protect you from all of it...and I'll never forgive myself for letting this happen. But I will never regret knowing you."

She shook her head, her nose rubbing against his. "Oliver, I...I never thought I would see you again." He knew there was a part of her that felt guilty; for giving up and moving on, for forcing herself to live life without him. But she had nothing to be sorry for. He knew what it felt like to have Felicity missing from his life, and he could never blame her for believing that he died. If he was in her shoes, he would have thought the same thing. And if he didn't know any better, the emptiness would've convinced him she was gone, too. 

"I know," he whispered back, hearing the sadness in his own voice. He allowed himself a quiet moment to mourn the loss of those five years. Important years. They'd each grown up so much, and it felt like a lifetime ago that they'd known each other. But at the same time, holding her again made it seem like no time had passed at all. He could effortlessly accept the parts of her that had changed, grown, and desensitized. Her heart felt a little  _harder_ than he remembered; less trusting, more grounded and forbidding. But he understood why, and didn't blame her for a single choice she'd made. Ray Palmer included...

"Listen," Oliver breathed, not wanting to let her go. "I need you to trust me...can you still do that?" Felicity nodded, her hands coming up to grip his wrists. "I can't stay with you, but I need you to get in your car and drive right to Coast City. Go exactly where you planned on going tonight, Felicity. Don't stop, don't slow down. Just go straight there, okay?"

Felicity's hands tightened on his, "where are you going?"

"I need to take care of something. I promise you'll be safe in Coast City."

"Is that where you are?" She asked, opening her eyes to look at him.

There was far too much sadness in her eyes for a woman who deserved none of it. He hated that it was there at all. He pursed his lips, wanting to be honest. "Yes, but not where you're going. Felicity, I wish I had time to explain, but you need to go. I want you far ahead of H.I.V.E." He gently pulled her fingers off of his wrists, nudging her nose one more time before he leaned away from her.

But Felicity held tighter, tugging him back. "Wait, wait," she mumbled, squeezing her eyes shut again and holding on to him desperately. "This feels unreal...like—like there are these dormant parts of me that are just...remembering you. Waking up." 

Letting out a gentle groan, Oliver wrapped his arms around her, hugging her against his chest. He knew the feeling, of course. She believed he was dead, and while that wasn't exactly true, there were parts of him that had died. Pieces of his soul had been chipped away and broken for years, and Felicity was the only one who could put them back together. Just touching her, looking into her eyes...it helped him feel like himself again. "Felicity, I love you. I will always love you."

He heard her inhale, a tiny breath sucked into her lungs as her hand found his neck, her fingers stroking his skin. She didn't say it back, for reasons that he understood. But it didn't matter...he could still _feel_ it. Felicity sighed, a breathless chuckle on her lips. "You barely know me anymore," she whispered.

Opening his eyes, he looked down at her, cocking his head to the side. "We both know that's not true." He didn't know everything she'd been through, just like she didn't know how he'd spent the last few years. But he knew who she was. Deep down.

One of Oliver's greatest fears was seeing Felicity again; to have her find out who he'd become, learning the darkness that had fought its way into his heart, and her being disgusted. Their connection didn't offer anywhere to hide. She felt him, all of it, and her love remained. It gave him hope. Something to fight for that he'd lost track of.

H.I.V.E. called them variants. Inhuman. But Oliver preferred Rory's interpretation, no matter how much he teased it.

Soulmates.

* * *

 "Oliver,"

He turned away from Felicity's car, the tail lights speeding away from him on the highway, and tuned back in to his own reality. Glancing up at the sound of Caitlin's voice in the doorway, he saw his friend's red eyes and pale face. "Hey," he forced a smile for her. 

"Is Felicity okay?"

Shivering, Oliver nodded, satisfied that he'd gotten Felicity into her car and safely on route. "Yes," he nodded, "she's on her way here. Expect her in a few hours, all right?"

Caitlin nodded, "of course. Are you okay?" She knew that H.I.V.E finding Felicity was the one thing that could break Oliver. And they'd come close. "You kind of scared us back there." 

"I'm sorry," he stood, straightening the things on his desk. Caitlin stood quietly for a moment, watching him until he moved to his bed, preparing to make it.

"Let me help," she offered, pulling the sheets from the other side and focusing on the task. Once the pillows were in order and the blankets were placed, she sighed. "How did you feel her?" Caitlin asked, her eyebrows furrowing. "At dinner...you just...you dropped your fork and got this look on your face like you were seeing a ghost. You  _knew_ she was in trouble."

"I don't know," Oliver whispered back, looking down at his feet. "It could've been any combination of things, I guess. The intensity of Felicity's fear, her life being at risk, my paranoia about H.I.V.E." He shrugged. The _why_ was the least of his worries. He just needed her to get to the house safely. They could protect her, and he could find a way to keep her alive.

"It got me thinking," Caitlin answered, that furrow still in her brow and now the telltale sign of her genius coming into her expression as she pulled her lips to the side. 

Oliver couldn't help but grin, "of course it did."

She cocked her head to the side, giving him a look. "It got me thinking...what if I could modify H.I.V.E's blockers? Maybe I could make them with a sort of emergency trigger that only enacts if your soulmate is in danger. It could sever the connection but nullify the effects of the pill when adrenaline floods the brain. Something like that."

He simply nodded, knowing that for Caitlin, she needed the task of working on something like that. For him, not so much. "Of course," she continued, "I'd have to run some tests first. But then maybe we could protect people who have to be apart. Who have to hide from H.I.V.E, soulmates like you and Felicity..." Perfect distraction. She'd been working on modifying the drug H.I.V.E created for the two years he'd known her; trying to manipulate it into something that could prevent H.I.V.E from finding them, but keeping connections intact.

Oliver nodded again, giving her a smile this time. "Rory got you on this 'soulmate' thing huh?" he asked, turning to his dresser, pulling out a shirt and sweatpants that Felicity could sleep in when she arrived.

Crossing her arms, Caitlin shrugged, "it seems like the most accurate way to describe people like us. You know I like accuracy."

He simply sighed, seeing her point. He'd always felt like it was his soul that connected to Felicity. His soul that _belonged_ to her. "Let Felicity rest when she gets here, please. Just keep an eye on her for tonight and wait until morning to jump into..." he trailed off, not knowing where to even start.

"Everything," Caitlin supplied, giving a small grin. The most he'd seen from her in days. But it fell just as quickly, her eyes glancing around his fixed bed and cleaned room. "Wait," she frowned, meeting his eyes again. "Where are you going?"

Oliver huffed, stepping closer to his friend and placing his hands on her shoulders. Caitlin gave him a suspicious look. And he saw the moment that she figured it out. Her face dropped, her eyes filling with tears and dread. "Oliver, don't," she shook her head. "He wouldn't want you to."

Smiling, he squeezed Caitlin's shoulders in assurance. "After everything Rory's done for me, everything _you've_ done for me...this is what I have to do."

"No," she clenched her jaw, "no, you don't _have_ to, Oliver."

"Okay," he agreed, not wanting to fight with her. "Then it's what I want to do." Even though _want_ was the wrong word, too. Because the only thing he wanted to do was be right there when Felicity finally arrived, in the flesh. Leaving before he came face to face with her again was some kind of sick joke the universe was playing. But he needed to go. "I can't let him die, Caitlin."

Tears spilled from her eyes, and Oliver gave her a quick hug, grateful when she let him slip by without stopping him. He didn't look back, worried that the warm house and the knowledge that Felicity would soon be in it might make him change his mind. But he couldn't be selfish. He had to believe that there'd be a time for him and Felicity.

Tonight just wasn't it.

The drive was more exhausting than he'd been expecting, having to convince himself over and over not to turn the car around, especially when the clock approached early morning hours. And he knew Felicity would be at the house any minute, if she wasn't there already.

Still, he kept his foot on the gas and his knuckles white on the steering wheel, heading in the opposite direction. 

It was hard not to think about the day at the docks when he'd said goodbye to Felicity. Their future was just as formidable now as it had been that day. Back then, they'd both been so young and naive. They'd never known heartbreak or pain like they did now. Yet he still had hope. If it were up to him, he knew that he and Felicity could live happily ever after. If they were the only two people in the world, he'd die content with that. And he felt now more than ever that if he fought hard enough, he could have it all back.

When Oliver finally turned into the parking lot and shut the car off, he took a moment to breathe. To prepare.

And then he swung the door open and headed for the building. It only took a few moments for the faceless, nameless guards to notice him. Oliver knew that if he wanted to get the attention he needed, he had to take a few of them out. 

He worked his way to the door, fighting the men as he went. Some he rendered unconscious if he could, others he killed.

Oliver had deemed them 'ghosts' after his time on the island with them, and it had become a term that he, Caitlin, and the others used to describe them. They were all the same, and the few times he'd gotten a chance to unmask them, the men would off themselves with teeth capsules before he could get a word out of them.

There was only one name in all of H.I.V.E that he knew.

And when he was finally overwhelmed by ghosts, too many of them for him to fight off alone, it was the name he demanded. "Take me to Damien Darhk," he seethed, being pushed to his knees.

In truth, the plan was simple. Darhk wasn't as complex as he'd once believed.

The man saw the world in black and white. Right and wrong. But in his twisted view, 'variants' like Oliver were wrong. Not human.

Still, Oliver knew that Damien Darhk operated under his own sense of honor. If he gave his word, he kept it. And he'd already offered his deal to Oliver once before; a life for a life. Oliver was worth more to H.I.V.E. They had a stake in him; research done and tests performed that they'd never been able to finish. "My name is Oliver Queen," he gritted through his teeth, pinning the ghosts with a cold, deadly glare, "and I'm here to trade my freedom for Rory Regan's."


	9. The Learning

The little coastal town felt like a whole different world from Starling. Coast City was in the depths of fall, dead leaves covering the streets and chilly air that whipped across her car as she drove to the house. 

Knowing that Oliver wouldn’t be there made her heart clench in her chest. Not knowing where he was or why he’d encouraged her to follow the lead on Rory Regan was even more unsettling. 

Eventually she pulled onto a dirt road, her GPS telling her that she was only three minutes from her destination. The road was rocky and lined with thick trees, and she turned her high beams on, half expecting to wind up in a ditch or accidentally drive right into a river or something.

Then the trees began to clear, leading to an opening in the dense greenery, and on it sat a house. Felicity slowed her speed down to a crawl, following the road until it became a stone driveway. When she reached the top, she parked, pulling her keys from the ignition. The house was large and set back in the field, a muted blue color in the early morning light. Felicity hesitated in her car; on one hand, she felt safe because Oliver had led her there. But on the other hand, she had no idea what she was walking into or who she’d find. Well, aside from Rory. But why did Oliver trust him? Why did he tell her to come here?

Torn between knocking on the door or pulling back out of the drive and taking off, Felicity took in the massive house. It’d taken her almost a week to find its existence and connect it to Rory Regan. Before Oliver turned her world upside down, she’d simply assumed that Mr. Regan was a private man. But now that she knew more, or less, depending on how she looked at it...there was a sense of fear that washed over her.

Rory wasn’t just a private person. He was a man in hiding. 

Sucking in a breath, Felicity felt a chill run through her. The rigid air was already seeping into her car, her breath visible in front of her as she released it. And she knew that she could take her chances, she could run. Peel out of the driveway and get far away from that place. The intensity of her night, the tension with Oliver, the exhausting drive, the unfamiliar and looming house; it all began to convince her that maybe she would be better off on her own. That if Oliver wanted to send her here, but couldn’t be there himself, then maybe he was wrong. 

Before she could think much more about it, before she could work herself up, the front door opened. A tall, dark man stepped onto the porch, flipping a set of lights on, illuminating the wooden deck that wrapped around the house. He kept his eyes trained on her car, and she stared back. The stranger crossed his arms, watching her as he cocked his head to the side as if he expected her to bolt.

When she didn’t, he took slow steps towards her, moving with awareness, careful movements that she could predict. The man didn’t stop until he was at her car, pausing a few feet from her window and raising his hands. He maintained eye contact, shuffling his feet in the leaves. Staring at him, Felicity tried to rely on her instincts, to believe whatever she saw behind the stranger’s eyes. But she just wasn’t sure.

So, she slowly rolled down her window, just enough that she could feel the freezing air assault her face, hearing it whip through the trees. “Felicity Smoak?” The man asked, just loud enough that she could hear. 

“My name is John Diggle. I’m a friend of Oliver Queen’s.”

She wasn’t sure what it was about John Diggle that made her want to trust him. To relax. Maybe it was a mix of his first words to her and something warm and comforting that she could see in his eyes. 

But then again, she couldn’t be too sure how reliable her instincts were. She  _had_ thought Oliver was dead for the last five years which was obviously very, very wrong. “Do you want to come inside?” John Diggle asked.

Felicity sat still in her seat, one hand on the car door and the other on her keys. “Where is Oliver?”

John Diggle nodded as if he expected the question. “He’s trying to save Rory Regan’s life.”

“Rory isn’t here?” Felicity stiffened, feeling even more on edge if the only other person she’s met isn’t in that house, either. “ _Where_ are they?” She asked again, her eyes narrowing. She’d put up with enough vague half-answers from Rory and Oliver. She wasn’t going to let John Diggle do the same.

“H.I.V.E,” the man sighed, seeming to believe that she wouldn't budge an inch if he didn't tell her what the hell was going on. “They have headquarters in Gotham. If you’ll come inside, I promise to explain everything.” He shoved his hands into his pockets, glancing into the darkened woods and lifting his shoulders. “It’s damn cold out here.”

Giving herself one more moment to assess him, Felicity decided that it’s her best option. Whether she’s walking into a trap or not, the only person she knew she could trust was Oliver. Always. And he’d told her that she would be safe here. Getting out of the car, she followed John quietly back to the house, choosing to save her questions until they were inside.

The interior was just as gorgeous as the outside, warm lighting and inviting smells. She could see most of the first floor, a wide area with a kitchen, dining, and living room sectioned off, everything visible. Behind the couch was a short hallway where Felicity could see a bathroom and bedroom. And a staircase off of the kitchen that led upstairs. Despite the strangeness of the situation, it made her feel a little better to be able to see it all at once. Still, Felicity stuck to the door once it was closed behind her.

John Diggle didn’t speak, taking off his shoes while she took in her surroundings. Then he wordlessly moved to the kitchen; a pot on the stove that smelled delicious. Like home. “Are you hungry?” He finally asked while she continued to stare. “Chicken noodle soup.” She wasn’t sure what she was expecting after the men in masks chased her out of Smoak Tech and Oliver sent her here...but a bowl of soup was definitely not something she was prepared for. 

A small, surprised laugh escaped her lips. And John Diggle raised an eyebrow. “What?” He asked, smiling. “Everyone has to eat, right?”

“I just drove all night after nearly getting killed and finding out that Oliver is alive, and you’re offering me chicken noodle soup at 4:00 in the morning?”

The man just shrugged, pulling out a bowl.

“It’s more for me,” a woman’s voice came from the stairs, and Felicity’s eyes darted up to see a brunette descending, wearing leggings and a sweater, her hair in a messy ponytail. She smiled at Felicity, “you must be Felicity. We’ve been expecting you. How was your drive? Hopefully not too bad. Dig’s making the soup for me, it’s kind of my comfort food. You’re more than welcome to have some.”

With a hand on the woman’s shoulder, John Diggle calmed her down. “This is Caitlin Snow.”

Felicity’s eyes shifted between them. “How do you people know Oliver?”

Caitlin Snow and John Diggle shared a glance, one where Felicity sensed that John wanted to answer and Caitlin was warning him against it. It made Felicity stand a little straighter, turning her eyes on the man. “You said you would tell me what’s happening.”

“I will,” John Diggle sighed. “Oliver asked Caitlin to go easy on you for tonight. Let you rest and explain everything in the morning. She’s just trying to respect those wishes.”

A moment of silence passed. Felicity stared at both of them with wide, disbelieving eyes. "He was here?" Her patience snapped. “Do you actually expect me to sit down and have a bowl of soup with you and then sleep in this house with two strangers? When all I have is your names? You people are insane.”

Caitlin Snow flinched, frowning at the words. John Diggle sighed, “told you,” he grumbled.

Shrugging, the woman seemed to let Felicity’s words roll off her shoulder. “Well, I’m just going to assume that Oliver knew that idea wouldn’t fly.” She shook her head, biting her lip. “How about you eat, and we can talk?”

Felicity was pretty sure that the same strategy was used to force kids to eat their vegetables, but she really didn’t care. She could swallow some damn soup if it meant they’d tell her what the hell was going on. Felicity nodded once, keeping her shoes and coat on, and moved to the wide dining table. She pulled out a chair and sat, waiting silently while John and Caitlin fixed themselves bowls, carrying it all to the table and setting one in front of Felicity. As soon as they sat down, she asked again, “where is Oliver?” There was a hint of tension in her voice, because she’d asked enough. She wasn’t going to do it again. If they weren’t going to answer, then she was leaving. 

And they both seemed to know it. “H.I.V.E headquarters in Gotham.” John Diggle gave the same answer he had outside. “Did Oliver tell you about them?” he asked before she could demand more. “They’re a group of very bad people. And they know about people like you and Oliver, people who can be together without needing to be present physically.”

The man had such a simple way of putting it; the mind-blowing, unfathomable connection she had with Oliver. She took a bite of the soup after they did, knowing she wasn’t about to get poisoned or anything, and watched as they both seemed to relax. “So are you two...” Felicity trailed off, her eyes moving between them.

“No,” John huffed out a laugh. Caitlin scrunched up her nose in a polite but definite  _no_.

“What is Oliver doing in Gotham? You said he went to save Rory?”

She didn’t miss the way Caitlin stiffened. “Oliver escaped H.I.V.E four years ago. Rory found him on the island and saved him. Now they have Rory, and Oliver...he feels like he needs to repay a debt.”

“What do they want with him?” Felicity asked lowly, setting her spoon down as her stomach churned.

“Answers,” Caitlin nodded, her eyes flashing with anger. “I imagine that the men who came for you were ghosts. That’s what we call them. The masks?” Felicity nodded in confirmation. “Oliver spent a year with them on Lian Yu. He’s the most valuable prisoner they’ve ever had, and a lot of what they know is based off of things they learned from their experiments on Oliver.”

“Experiments? What do you mean? What do they know?” Her heart felt heavy, “what will they do to him?”

Caitlin Snow pursed her lips, “they studied Oliver. Humans for Inquiry of Variant Energy. They don’t believe that people like us are, well,  _people_. They call us variants. Anomalies.”

“You’re saying that there are more...more people like Oliver and I?”

Smiling gently, Caitlin nodded. As she looking into the woman's eyes, she felt it. The pull wasn't nearly as strong or palpable as Oliver's. But there was something under the surface, a mutual understanding. Common ground that comforted Felicity, let her know that Caitlin was telling the truth. “Plenty more.”

“Where are they are?”

John Diggle decided to answer, sighing as he leaned a little closer. “Most of them who know about the organization are in hiding. H.I.V.E has ways of finding them. They’ve created technology that can track variant energy. Which is why Oliver stayed away from you. H.I.V.E was feeding him blockers when he was on Lian Yu. Pills that prevented him from visiting you, and it’s why you haven’t been able to feel him. Why you thought he was dead.”

“But you said he was only there for a year,” her eyebrows furrowed.

John sighed, scrubbing his hand across his jaw. “When Rory freed him, Oliver stole the blockers from the island. He found a man by the name of Cisco Ramon, and had him recreate the pills. Oliver’s been taking them voluntarily for the last four years,” John admitted it quietly, looking away as if he was ashamed  _for_ Oliver.

“He...he chose to do this? To let me believe he was dead?”

“Felicity,” Caitlin bit her lip. “You have to understand, reconnecting with you would put you in danger. H.I.V.E already had bloodhounds out for him. Like I said, he was their most valuable prisoner. If he opened himself to you again, he would’ve been risking your life.”

She blinked back years, remembering all of those lonely years, believe he was gone forever. How could he have done that to her? What gave him the right to decide the safest way for her to live? “It’s not that simple,” she seethed.

“No, it’s not,” Caitlin shook her head, “you’re right. Oliver struggled with that choice every day of his life. From what I’ve learned about him, Felicity...there wasn’t a day that went by where he didn’t have to fight himself not to find you. I can’t even imagine...” she huffed, closing her eyes for a brief moment. “It must have been the hardest thing he’s ever had to do.”

Analyzing the woman in front of her, Felicity squeezed her hands together in her lap. “How did you end up here?” She asked, glancing around the house.

“Oliver found me two years ago and brought me here to keep me safe,” Caitlin answered. “H.I.V.E was closing in on Rory, and Oliver was afraid it’d lead them to me.”

Felicity licked her dry lips. “So you and Rory...” she guessed again, taking another stab at figuring it all out, glancing at John Diggle. 

“Are soulmates?” Caitlin raised an eyebrow, a smile crossing her face that was bigger and more genuine than Felicity had seen yet. “Yeah.” But Felicity couldn’t stop herself from scoffing.

“Soulmates?” the term rolled off her tongue easily, despite the disdain in her voice.

Caitlin narrowed her eyes a bit, trying to keep her voice polite as she asked, “what would you call Oliver?”

The question stumped her, making her feel stupid for one of the first times in her life. Because it was true. Oliver wasn’t a variant or some freak accident in her life. He was her soulmate. “Okay...so he’s in Gotham. How do we get him back?”

Her two hosts shared another look. “We’re...working on that.” Raising her eyebrows, Felicity waited for more. And John finally gave in, “there’s a group of variants who joined together. I mean, there are groups of them all over the world, they try to keep the circles small. Clusters, I suppose. But this one is a little special. Years ago, H.I.V.E dropped bombs on a city of variants in Nanda Parbat.”

She’d taken plenty of geography courses. And she had no idea what he was talking about. “I’ve never heard of such a place.”

“It’s not on any map.” Diggle answered lowly. “For a long time, Nanda Parbat was a safe haven for variants. People came from all over, seeking refuge within the walls. There were hundreds of people living there in its prime. They trained, learned from each other and harnessed their power. They prepared for a war that they knew was inevitable.”

“But H.I.V.E bombed them? Killed them?” Felicity asked, cocking her head to the side.

“Not all of them,” John sighed. “Some survived to tell the story. A lot of people lost their lives that day. And a lot of people lost their other half." There was pity in his voice, and she knew that John was relating her to the story. A sad soul who had lost her other half. Felicity's chest still ached where it felt like a piece of her heart had been carved out of her on the day that Oliver died. She wondered if John Diggle had a soulmate and where that person might be. Felicity wanted to ask, but filed her curiosity away for later. “Out of the ashes of that tragedy though, something new formed," the man explained. "Today, they’re a group of about ten women...all who had lost a soulmate in the attack. And they’re...very dedicated to taking down H.I.V.E.”

“They call themselves the Birds of Prey,” Caitlin chimed in with a smirk.

Glancing between them, Felicity let the information settle. “And you think they can help us get Oliver back?”

John Diggle nodded, “I do. I’ve already called the woman I know. I met her when I was on tour in Afghanistan, she’s the one who told me about this whole world, this whole existence of soulmates and evil corporations.” 

“And she said they’d help?” Felicity asked, sizing the man up. If he wasn’t a variant, then she was curious about why he’d get involved. But she pushed the questions aside, relieved when John nodded.

“Good,” Felicity returned the nod, an understanding coming between the two of them. For some reason, she knew that John Diggle would do everything in his power to save Oliver. Just like she was prepared to do. “Where do we start?”

* * *

 

There was only one thing in the world that Oliver swore he’d never let happen.

H.I.V.E would never get their hands on Felicity. They’d never hurt her. He knew that for the first time in five years, the people he hated were closer than ever. Although she’d survived the night at Smoak Tech and he knew she was safely hidden at the house, it felt like he’d failed. They’d found her. They knew her name.

And now it meant war.

Oliver’s arms were above his head, chained to the ceiling where he hung, shirtless and fuming. He let his head rest on his arm, wiping off the blood and sweat from his forehead. He’d learned plenty of meditation techniques from Talia, and Oliver readied himself to fall into a trance of deep, even breaths, opting out of the dark, cold dungeon the ghosts had locked him in.

When the door in front of him creaked open, Oliver opened his eyes, blinking at the light. He was reminded of Lian Yu, being held in a similar prison and just hoping he could get back to Felicity. Not much was different now.

This time though, it was Damien Darhk who entered his cell. 

Oliver stayed silent and perfectly still, choosing to wait and see how it would play out. The sick man tilted his head down to meet Oliver’s eyes, smiling like the psychopath that he was. “Where is she?” Darhk asked. And Oliver scoffed, wanting to throw an insult in his face about being the most predictable, stupid person he’d ever encountered.

Instead he went with a simple, “go to hell.”

“I’m sure I will,” Damien answered cheerily. “But not before I find the woman you love and make her suffer for all of your sins.”

It was clear that Darhk was just trying to get a rise out of him. H.I.V.E worked with a purpose. They had a goal, as screwed up as it was. The organization in general didn’t torture and kill people for the thrill of it. But the man standing before him? He enjoyed inflicting pain.

With that thought, Oliver let his temper flare. Moving too quickly for Darhk to see it coming, Oliver reared his head back and jammed his forehead to the other man’s nose. Almost immediately, Damien began to laugh, his eyes sparking with amusement as his fingers touched the blood spilling from his face. Oliver snarled in disgust at his excitement. “I need to rid the world of people like you, Mr. Queen, I know it’s impossible to understand. But it will make the world a better place. Safer.”

“What have  _people like me_  ever done to you?”

“You’re a threat,” Darhk shrugged. “You can do things that people shouldn’t be allowed to do. I had to level the playing field.”

“By hunting us down?”

“Well,” Damien huffed, pulling out a handkerchief from his pocket, he cleaned up his nose as he spoke. “Yes. But I also had to prepare, to defend...keep a few other tricks up my sleeve.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Power.” Darhk met his gaze, pure enjoyment behind his cold blue eyes. He didn’t look at Oliver with even a fraction of the animosity that Oliver held for him. For Damien Darhk, it was a game. And he wanted to win. He smiled again, more menacing now with blood dripping onto his lips. “You’re not the only one who knows the world has magic, Oliver.”

Pushing his eyebrows together, Oliver stared at him. 

“Where’s Felicity?” Damien asked again, cocking his head to the side. Oliver only heard curiosity this time, but he felt fire in his chest, her name on that man’s lips making him murderous. “Is she hiding with the others?” When Oliver didn’t answer, Damien began to pace. “You know, we figured most of your tricks out. Variants are immune to truth serums, but only when it comes to each other,” he raised a finger, pointing it at Oliver. “Rory had no choice but to tell us about the woman you love.”

Oliver didn’t budge, refusing to let Darhk get under his skin.

“I still just need to know...how do you stay hidden? I know there’s magic involved, some kind of cloaking. But  _how_?” Damien seemed to be waiting for a response, but Oliver simply stared. “You’ve been sharing your secrets with other variants, making it hard for us to find them, too. But you forget that I’ve been around for a long time. I’ve only seen magic like that once before. Nanda Parbat. They stayed hidden from us for years.” Oliver simply raised an eyebrow, not giving the man even an inch. 

“I still remember the day we dropped those bombs,” Darhk let out a long, reminiscent sigh. “One of the best days of my life.” After everything he’d done, Oliver wasn’t surprised to not hear a single ounce of sympathy in his tone. “You’re at the center of all of this, Oliver Queen...and you were foolish to think we’d never find Ms. Smoak.”

Lifting his head, Oliver felt his heart racing in his chest, his fingers itching to wrap themselves around the man’s neck and squeeze. But he kept his voice low and even, a dark hum of a threat. “I’m going to kill you.”

“I sincerely hope I get to see you try one day.” Damien patted his cheek, and Oliver jerked away. “Until then, just try to stop meeting me like this. It’s pathetic to only recognize you chained and beaten,” he laughed. “Anyway, I don’t expect it to be long now before we find her. And the rest of your friends. Once we have your heads on stakes in the front lawn, this war will be over. All of your courage and resistance will be a warning to other variants. Their hope of survival will die with you, Mr. Queen. And so will Felicity.”

“I  _will_ kill you,” Oliver promised, “but if you touch her, I swear to god I’ll take my time.”

“Oh!” Darhk clapped his hands together, “now _that_ gave me chills!”

Oliver dropped his head as soon as Damien Darhk was out of the room.


	10. The Planning

She’d never really known what Oliver smelled like. Not as surely as she did with her nose pressed against his pillow. Even with the comforting, familiar sense of him between the walls of his bedroom, Felicity couldn’t sleep.

The Birds of Prey, as John and Caitlin had called them, arrived earlier that night as if they were prepared for war. And although this was all so new to her, Felicity completely understood why they sought vengeance. 

She had a taste of what it was like to live without your soulmate, to have that person taken from you.

These women had watched their lovers die. Felicity knew that if she’d had an outlet for the rage that had sparked within in since the day she lost Oliver, she would be no different than the women she’d met earlier. They had a demon to fight, H.I.V.E.

A thing to destroy. 

Felicity had nothing, just the sickening feeling that Oliver was dead and her own life to make sense of.

Rolling over in bed, she looked out of Oliver’s window. His room was technically the attic of the house, but the only reminder of that was the low ceiling. She imagined that Oliver had to duck every time he entered his own bedroom. And that somehow made her smile. 

The space was large, though; his own studio apartment, really. His bed sat under the biggest window in the room, and she knew that he must lay in bed at night and stare up at the stars just as she did.

To her left, there was a giant bookcase, running from his bed all the way to the far wall. And it was full; everything from Shakespeare to cook books. Did he cook now? Did he read  _Shakespeare_ now?

Sighing, Felicity tossed again, before finally sitting up and throwing the covers off of her legs. She got up, needing to move. So, she analyzed his books again. There were a few that looked more worn than others, and she pulled them down to examine, wondering what he liked about them. Then she walked over to his seating area, sitting down on each cushion of his couch, the chair by another window, and let herself picture him in the space; reading, thinking, planning things the way she’d done that night.

The Birds of Prey had arrived prepared, an overwhelming rush of five warriors who stormed into the house, intimidating and strong. 

They’d brought blue-prints of not only the headquarters in Gotham, but of a massive mansion that looked more like a castle. When Felicity had naturally asked about it, she’d been informed that the castle-home belonged to a high-ranking member of H.I.V.E by the name of Damien Darhk.

She’d been focused on the five women, trying to remember their faces and learn their names. The one named Sara Lance had turned to smirk at Felicity and her curiosity. Almost amused.

 _Almost_.

“Darhk is mine,” the woman had stated with a cold, chilling tone. “When Oliver and Rory are safe, I will slit the throat of Damien Darhk, and I will not hesitate.”

Felicity nodded with wide eyes, raising her eyebrows, “okay then,” she sang, “yeah. Yeah, sure...he’s all yours.” Her response made Sara’s smirk widen into a crooked grin, drawing a few laughs from the rest of the people hovering around the dining room table, looking at the maps and plans.

For the most part, Felicity had stayed silent, only speaking up when she had a question or needed clarification. Other than that, she let the people who knew H.I.V.E and had been dealing with them for years, decide on what to do. And she didn’t mind, it was clear that Oliver and Rory were everyone’s main focus, although the Birds of Prey were clearly out to draw blood in the process.

Hearing a knock on the door, Felicity slowly made her way to it, opening it just a crack. She recognized the woman who had come with her group; her hair short at her shoulders and her eyes kind. “Hi,” the woman said, “I could hear you pacing above my room,” she smiled. “I thought you might want some company.”

Unlocking the chain and swinging the door open, Felicity invited Lyla Michaels inside.

“Are you ready for tomorrow night?” 

Felicity sank onto the couch with a deep breath. “I guess so.”

“You’ve never done anything like this, huh?”

“Infiltrated a creepy organization of psychos who hunt, kill, and kidnap people? No, I can’t say I have.”

Lyla grinned, shrugging. “But you’ve hacked,” she countered, “you’ve broken into places where you don’t belong. This’ll just be...not from home.”

The one problem in their plan was H.I.V.E’s security. The Birds of Prey apparently had plenty of unsuccessful experience with it, and everyone was anxious about whether or not they could pull their prison break for Oliver and Rory off. If anything went wrong, the whole thing would fall. Oliver, Rory, and probably more would die. It was intense. High stakes.

Luckily, their biggest wildcard was Felicity’s strong suit. She’d spent the last few hours hacking and learning about H.I.V.E’s Gotham base. And she still had more work to do tomorrow. They’d be cutting it close no matter what, but getting Oliver out soon was the top priority. “I’m not quite done with their systems yet,” Felicity gestured to the computers, borrowed laptops she was using to run her tests, checking for weak spots in H.I.V.E’s armored walls.

“Are you nervous?” Lyla asked.

Forcing a small smile, Felicity huffed, “I’d be crazy if I wasn’t, right? I haven’t...” she pursed her lips, stopping herself. John Diggle had given her a rushed lesson on the Birds of Prey. She knew that they were ruthless, deadly women. Powerful and feared by those who knew of them. From what John said, even H.I.V.E was afraid of them. 

“I don’t live in this world,” she admitted quietly. “All this planning and hiding, evil corporations full of masked men and mystery, secret missions...it’s a little overwhelming.”

She was surprised to see sympathy in Lyla’s eyes as the woman sat down on the couch, nodding in silent support. The moment made Felicity feel a little better, like someone understood. “I’m sorry that Oliver kept it all from you. But this is where you are now. It  _is_ the world you live in. And if you want Oliver back, then you need to focus.”

The words weren’t said with hatred or harshness. But they were firm. Assertive. Felicity watched the woman, “the others listen to you,” she observed. “You’re a good leader.”

“We don’t have a leader,” Lyla answered. “Only retribution.”

“You were in Nanda Parbat...” Felicity whispered slowly. “When the bombs fell?”

Lyla stiffened, but nodded. “It was over ten years ago, but I still remember seeing the planes overhead. They descended like death.”

“I can’t even imagine,” Felicity shivered, shaking her head.

The woman was silent for a long moment, “I didn’t know what to do with myself after I left Nanda Parbat. So, I joined the United States military. I got stationed in Afghanistan. That’s how I met Johnny.”

Felicity hesitated. She’d heard most of them call him John, or Diggle. Caitlin Snow was fond of calling him Dig. But Lyla was the only one who ever referred to him as Johnny. It made Felicity curious. “How did John get involved in all of this?” She asked, her eyebrows furrowing.

“Me, I suppose,” Lyla shrugged. “I lost my soulmate in Nanda Parbat. He died...and I was a ticking time-bomb when I met Johnny, just waiting to explode.” Lyla sighed. Felicity wasn’t sure why she was being so open, but it was appreciated. She wanted to make sense of these people that Oliver called friends. Wanted to understand the house full of strangers. “I wouldn’t be alive today if it weren’t for him,” Lyla admitted gently.

“He seems like a good man,” Felicity nodded. “You’re lucky to have him.”

Lyla inhaled, a small flinch. “John and I aren’t together.”

“Oh,” Felicity blinked, “sorry, I just thought...”

“Moving on after you’ve lost your soulmate isn’t an option. Your heart dies with them.”

Now Felicity flinched, her thoughts turning to Ray Palmer. 

She’d moved on, in a way. Oliver’s absence had caused a piece of her to die, but not all of her. His death had changed her forever, but she didn’t stop living. There were things that she loved, things she still cared about. Oliver’s death didn’t mean that Felicity had wanted to watch the world burn. She never desired to make anyone join in her misery. 

The world had continued turning. 

Despite Lyla Michaels’ sharp tone, she had come up here. She’d heard Felicity pacing and wanted to check on her. She’d been kind, which made it hard for Felicity to believe that her heart was dead. Lyla wasn’t as cold as the others. Not as harsh and robotic. And it was hard not to wonder if  _Johnny_ had a part in Lyla’s humanity. Or if either of them even realized it.

“I don’t know if I believe that’s true...” Felicity whispered, watching as Lyla’s eyes snapped up to hers. She bit her lip, keeping quiet. 

No, she didn’t love Ray the way she’d loved Oliver. The comparison was laughable, really. But then again, Oliver was never  _truly_ gone. Maybe deep down, there was a part of her that knew she’d see him again, even when their broken connection had convinced her otherwise. Maybe there had been the smallest ember of hope that had kept her heart warm, preventing her from becoming like the Birds of Prey.

Lyla Michaels had suffered the unthinkable. And still, she lived. Her life was dedicated to revenge, yet Felicity could see that she cared for John Diggle. And John Diggle clearly felt some kind of way about her, too. 

“What are we looking at for tomorrow?” Lyla asked, clearing her throat and the tension between them. Felicity exhaled, grateful for it. Because despite her curiosity, she was pretty sure Lyla might break a few of her bones should she dare voice those thoughts.

“I’ve hacked into their security systems and identified the easiest points of entry,” she got up and retrieved one of the laptops, bringing it over to show Lyla. “They keep their heaviest guns on the east side of the building. I’m assuming that’s where their most valuable assets are. Probably where we’ll find Oliver and Rory.”

Lyla nodded as if she already knew as much. “So if we enter from the south side, it’ll be a little easier.”

“As far as _getting in_  goes, yes. Getting out of there with Oliver and Rory will be another story.”

“We can do it,” Lyla exhaled, her eyes focused on the screen, observing all of H.I.V.E’s weak spots Felicity had found. A slight smile pulled at the corner of the woman’s mouth. “You’ve gotten us closer to ending this than we’ve ever been. Thank you, Felicity.”

The appreciation in her voice was evident, making Felicity’s heart warm up to Lyla Michaels a little more, common ground being found between them. 

* * *

 

The sound of wheels turning onto the dirt road woke Felicity from a restless sleep. She blinked her eyes open, seeing headlights shine through the window over her head. Crawling up to the frame, Felicity looked down at the drive, watching as a car pulled in slowly. 

And she quickly scrambled from beneath the warmth of Oliver’s sheets, hopping on bare feet across the room and down the stairs.

Felicity wasn’t surprised to see everyone else awake too, coming out of their rooms. “That’s Oliver’s car,” Tatsu, one of the women who had come, noted as she looked out of the window.

Her heart instantly jumped into her throat, her hands beginning to shake, and Felicity stood completely frozen. She didn’t move a muscle as they heard the car stop. The only lights in the house came from the headlights pouring into the window, and when they disappeared along with the hum of the car’s engine, the group was left in total silence and darkness.

It didn’t seem like anyone dared to move or breathe. Quiet enough to hear a pin drop.

Then they listened as the car door opened and closed.

It was Caitlin Snow who finally made a noise, a strangled cry escaping the woman’s lips. “Rory,” she whined, pushing her way towards the front door.

Sara Lance put a hand on her shoulder as if to stop her. 

Cautious, that one. 

But then she thought better of it, letting Caitlin go. A moment later, Caitlin was yanking the door open and running down the porch steps.

They all came outside, watching vigilantly as a beaten Rory Regan limped his way towards the house and a crying Caitlin Snow launched herself into his arms.

Rory caught her with a groan, his arms instinctively wrapping around her waist, holding her. “It’s okay, it’s okay,” he soothed, smoothing down the hair on her head.

Standing on the porch with the others, Felicity watched. She wanted to run down there too, ask Rory how he got back and where Oliver was. But she followed the lead of the group, realizing that there seemed to be an unspoken rule. Allow Rory and Caitlin to have this moment.

The tear that sprang to Felicity’s eye was unexpected and unwelcome, so she quickly swiped it from her cheek before anyone noticed. All she could do was stare at Caitlin Snow and Rory Regan; two soulmates being reunited, accepting that they were both okay. Alive. And she could only hope to have that moment with Oliver. 

 _Soon_.

Her eyes drifted to Lyla Michaels as the woman stepped forward, leaning over the railing of the porch with clenched fists. “Where’s Oliver?” She asked. 

And Felicity had never felt more thankful for a stranger.

Rory kept his arms around Caitlin, but looked up at the group. His face was bloody and bruised, one eye swollen shut. He took them all in, not seeming surprised by the Birds of Prey. 

His gaze lingered on Felicity, though. And she could see remorse written all over his face.

“He’s still there,” Rory answered lowly, keeping his eyes on Felicity. “We have to go back.”

“We leave tomorrow,” Sara Lance nodded once, crossing her arms.

Rory shook his head. “No, we have to go now.” His eyes slid back to meet Felicity’s gaze. She sucked in a breath, not sure how long she’d been holding it. “They’re going to kill Oliver.”


	11. The Preying

“What are we waiting for?” Sara Lance, her self-assigned buddy on this heist, asked from the driver’s seat.

Felicity kept her eyes on the door, sitting beside Sara in the car as she noticed the way the woman’s leg bounced, her thumbs drumming on the steering wheel. She was a woman of action, and she was getting restless. Felicity wasn’t exactly sure why Sara had insisted on working with Felicity, or why everyone had agreed that it was the best idea.

The rest of them had split themselves into groups, planning on storming the castle, so to speak, as soon as Felicity gave the all-clear. They had no idea where Oliver was being kept. And they didn’t have enough time to figure it out, so splitting up was the only option. 

Felicity took her eyes off the door, only to glance in the rear-view mirror at the woman in the backseat. Tatsu Yamashiro had barely said a word since they set out for H.I.V.E, and she’d been eerily still the entire time.

No one had mentioned who she would go with, but she’d silently climbed into the backseat of Sara’s car while Felicity had taken shotgun. 

“One more minute,” she mumbled, glancing at the clock. “When I hacked H.I.V.E’s system, I noticed that this door is routinely unlocked every twenty three minutes. The security bay is down the hall, so if I’m right…”

Felicity held her breath, listening as the door buzzed, and four armed masked men, just like the ones who had attacked Smoak Tech, came out. Ghosts. “Then they’ll be doing rounds of the building.”

Sara and Tatsu opened their doors before her, but Felicity wasn’t far behind. She followed close behind Sara as the ghosts rounded the building, heading off to check on the rest of the perimeter. “How do we get in?” Tatsu asked.

Felicity smiled as she looked down at the keypad, her heart starting to race. “Easy,” she mumbled, her fingers flying across the screen. It didn’t take her long, deciding to hack in and recall the last numbers entered rather than trying to crack the code. In less than a minute, the door was buzzing, offering them entry. 

Sara Lance raised an eyebrow, impressed. But she didn’t say a word. Instead, she pulled the door open, letting Tatsu enter first, then Felicity, keeping her safely between two Birds of Prey as they entered the lion’s den. “We’re in,” Sara muttered lowly, informing the others through their earpieces.

Of course, none of them were expecting a cake-walk. They were not expecting to get in and out unscathed. But Felicity was still surprised how quickly the ghosts appeared, before they could even make it to the end of the hall where the control room was. And she was surprised to watch Sara and Tatsu fight them, especially when Tatsu brought out a pair of retracting katana swords, ending the fight rather quickly after that, leaving a wake of bodies from wall to wall.

They knew that time was running out, and Felicity didn’t regret or dwell on a single death that littered that hallway at the hands of the two women. By the time they reached the control room, Tatsu and Sara were breathing heavily, each covered in blood, yet they’d somehow managed to protect Felicity, leaving her completely unscathed. She’d been too shocked watching the fighting to realize that not one ghost had even touched her. And it didn’t take any more than that for her to trust Sara Lance and Tatsu Yamashiro implicitly.

“Ms. Smoak,” Sara smirked, gesturing towards the door. And Felicity nodded, pushing through. She noticed the new spark in both women’s gaze, their adrenaline pumping. Doing this, taking down H.I.V.E had become their mission, their sole focus, and it was finally happening.

Once Oliver was safe, Felicity vowed that she’d help them. That she’d do whatever she could to repay the Birds of Prey for keeping her safe and bringing Oliver home. 

“Okay,” Felicity sighed, cracking her knuckles as she sank into the chair in front of a wall of screens. Sara hovered over her shoulder while Tatsu stood guard at the door, a sword in each hand.

Her fingers worked quickly on the keys, pulling up every camera’s feed in the entire building until she finally saw him. Until Sara inhaled with a sharp “there,” and she felt the breath get knocked out of her. Oliver was in the basement of the South wing, the furthest from where she was. “Dig, Lyla,” Sara spoke to the others. “He’s closest to you. Ground level, all the way down that corridor.”

In her ear, Felicity heard Diggle grunt in response, and she could see him on the monitors.

“We have to go, those bodies are going to catch someone’s attention sooner rather than later.”

Felicity stared at the screen in front of her, the room where Oliver was. She couldn’t look away now. He was tied up, his hands in chains above his head. His entire body was covered in old and new bruises, dried and fresh blood. “I can’t leave without him.”

“Felicity,” Sara grit her teeth, “they’ll get him out, and then this entire building will burn to the ground. We don’t have time for error.”

But it wasn’t sitting right. She was so close to Oliver, closer than she’d ever been, yet it felt like he was slipping from her fingers. 

She jumped from her chair, moving quickly to the door, “I can’t,” she snapped, shoving out of the room and maneuvering her way through the bodies in the hallway. Felicity waited for either of the women to stop her, but it never came. She continued in Oliver’s direction, picking up speed and hearing Sara and Tatu’s footsteps behind her.

They followed. Without trying to stop her and without question. 

John and Lyla were already inside by the time Felicity reached the door, heaving and breathless. And it wasn’t until she reached for the handle that Sara stopped her, giving her a hard glance before she set herself in front of Felicity. And Tatsu slid her swords across the concrete in preparation. 

Sara stood listening for a moment, and then finally, she pushed the door open. Looking into the room over Sara’s shoulder, Felicity watched as John and Lyla attempted to release Oliver from the chains, to take him down from the ceiling. He hung, looking even worse than he had on the monitors. His skin pale and his head bowed to his chest. He didn’t even budge as John broke the chain to free him.

He looked  _ lifeless _ .

A small whimper escaped her throat as she pushed by Sara, coming into the room. “Is he alive?”

Lyla glanced up at the sound of her voice, shooting Sara a cold glare. “Get her out of here.”

Sara touched her arm, and Felicity yanked it away, stepping closer to Oliver. “Is he alive?” She asked again, her voice harsher this time. Demanding an answer.

“He’s breathing,” John sighed. “Barely. We need to get him home.”

“Where are the others?” Tatsu asked, the swords in her hands angled at the door, ready to be used. 

“Setting the bombs,” Lyla’s jaw tightened. “Tatsu, get Felicity to the parking lot. Take the East exit. Sara, help us with Oliver.”

“I’m not leaving him,” Felicity insisted stubbornly, wringing her hands together as tears blurred her eyes. He was right in front of her.

Oliver Queen, for the first time in her life, was right  _ there _ , and it was a tragedy that his eyes weren’t open for her to see. 

“Well, well, well,” a voice came from the door, a white haired man with piercing blue eyes. He leaned casually against the frame, smiling while all in one moment, John and Lyla moved to shield Oliver, Sara did the same for Felicity, and Tatsu raised both swords to the man’s throat.

The Birds of Prey recognized the man instantly. Sara snarled, and Tatsu slid the swords against his neck, drawing blood. But the man’s smile just hitched, looking amused. “I’m surprised at you kids,” he shook his head. “You actually made it further than I expected you to. Too bad you won’t be making it out alive.” The man’s vacant eyes found Felicity, and they sparked with interest. “You...I’ve been hoping to meet  _ you  _ for a very long time. See, I’ve been trying to break Mr. Queen since the day I met him. But  _ you  _ keep him strong, which,” the man laughed, “is obviously quite infuriating. You give him so much hope, Ms. Smoak.” A chilling smile passed his face as he calmly put his hands in his pockets despite the sharp objects on his throat. “I can’t wait to crush it.”

Felicity didn’t have time to respond, her eyes shifting to Oliver one moment, and then Sara was moving in the next. She lunged at the white haired man, and Tatsu ducked just in time for Sara to connect her fist with his face.

He looked a little surprised, but smiled as he spit out blood. “And who are you, you feisty little tiger?” 

In response, Sara punched him in the face again, grabbing his shirt before he could recover and slamming him against the wall, his head cracking violently on the concrete. 

The man blinked in shock, but his sparked to life, adrenaline coursing through him with his own pain.

“My name is Sara Lance.” 

Felicity watched with wide eyes while recognition crossed the man’s face. “Formerly known as Sara al Ghul.”

“Ta-er al-Sahfer.” He gasped, and Felicity stared at the fear that seeped into his expression. The dread that Sara brought him.

Sara smirked, reveling in it. “So you’ve heard of me.” She tightened her grip, growling up at the man. “I’ve dreamed about taking your head off for a very long time, Mr. Darhk.” Felicity’s breath caught. Darhk.  _ Damien Darhk _ . “You killed my love and my home the day you decided bomb Nanda Parbat.  _ You  _ started this war. And for that, I promised that I would be the one to kill you myself.”

Damien Darhk smiled, even when he saw the knife in Sara’s hand. Even as he must have known that no one in the room would stop her. “Haven’t you ever heard of Hydra, my dear?” He asked, keeping his eyes on Sara. “Cut off one head...two more shall grow.”

“And still,” Sara said without a moment’s pause, “ _ your _ heart will no longer beat. I know you fear death, Mr. Darhk. It is why you’ve tried so hard to evade it. But not today. Today... _ I am your death _ .”

Felicity watched the color fade from Damien Darhk’s face. A chill ran down her spine. And a smile crossed Sara’s lips. 

He didn’t doubt her. His death hung in the air.

And Sara let it. She let it hang. She let him  _ know  _ it. With clarity. With fear. With anticipation. 

And then she pushed her knife straight through his neck. 

Blood spurt from his throat, his eyes widening and a moment later, more blood trickled from his mouth. His breaths were frantic and gurgled as he choked, but Sara just stared right into his eyes, making sure she was the last thing he saw.

And even with Oliver in the room, Felicity couldn’t look away from the scene in front of her. She couldn’t blink, watching for the first time as life left a person’s eyes.

* * *

 

She couldn’t take her eyes off of him. 

Everything had happened so fast after Damien Darhk took his last breath; escaping the building, detonating the bombs and watching the whole thing come down, fleeing in their cars back to the safety of the house. And the whole time, she’d stared at Oliver. His face had remained peaceful and pale. She could see his chest moving as she sat beside his unconscious and slumped form in the back of Diggle’s car, but he didn’t budge.

As soon as they’d arrived back at the house, everyone had rushed inside, moving too fast for Felicity to understand what was going on. But she knew that they were taking care of him, patching him up.

By the time they were done, Lyla had to shake her shoulder, “we’re going to bring him upstairs now,” she’d said slowly, making sure Felicity was listening. And Felicity had nodded, swallowing and following Diggle up to the attic as he carried Oliver.

It wasn’t until the others left that she truly felt it.

Oliver laid motionless in the bed, perfectly still and on his back with his face angled up at the ceiling. But his eyes remained closed. His breaths shallow. And Felicity could feel the air shifting, igniting. 

She moved from her place at the door, coming into the room to lie beside him.

Like a moth to a flame, slowly she slid closer across the bed, towards him. 

It was the first time she truly touched him; an innocent fingertip against his bottom lip. And her entire body warmed, inch by inch, radiating from the spot where her skin touched his. 

Felicity gasped, letting the sensation reach her toes before she gently placed her whole palm against his bare neck.

It felt  _ so  _ good. Unlike anything she’d ever shared with him before. Like her heart was sparking back to life, her entire body a wildfire, yet her mind remained perfectly peaceful and focused on  _ him _ .

Slowly, she began to touch his scars. One by one, she let her fingers gently trace them, feeling him and everything he’d been through with each caress. The longer she laid there, her fingers ghosting over his trauma, the more she could feel it.

It set an uncomfortable knot in her stomach, but she continued in wonder. When she touched the faint slashes over his chest, she felt a dull pain in her own. When she covered his bruised hands with her shaking ones, her fingers felt their ache. When she roamed over the gash on his forehead, her own head began to pound in the same spot. 

Felicity let out a sharp breath, moving to the next scar, the next testament of Oliver’s strength, his perseverance in the face of those who had tried to break him. And she refused to stop, wanting to shoulder whatever pain he carried, to make it her own so he could stop suffering.

She was too focused on his scars, feeling them, to notice when his heartbeat sped up. His breaths rushed out a little faster. She didn’t catch on until his finger twitched, reaching for her hair to hold a lock of it between his thumb and index finger.

Her head snapped up to look at him, her eyes immediately filling with tears as she met his gaze. 

And Oliver didn’t say a word. He didn’t need to. He was her  _ soulmate _ , and she understood everything he felt and wanted to say as soon as their eyes were locked. She felt his shock when he saw her, and then his realization that she was really, physically there with him, and then his absolute relief. His joy.

Oliver blinked, finally breaking the spell, “I did things that I’m not proud of.”

The words flowed from his lips, a confession. And it surprised her. He did not ask how they got there, or if they were safe, or if his friends were okay. “I’m not the same person you knew, Felicity.”

She shook her head, because it didn’t matter. She could see him. Feel him. And if he wasn’t worth her love, she would have known it. “You’re here,” Felicity told him. “You’re alive, and you’re safe. That’s all I care about right now.”

“I need you to understand,” he sighed. “I had to do terrible things to survive. To find my way back to you. And looking at you now…” Oliver’s hand lifted weakly to her cheek, brushing away a stray tear. “I don’t regret any of it. But I hurt people, Felicity. There is blood on my hands that will never come off. And you are too beautiful to mark with those mistakes.”

“Oliver…” she exhaled, reaching to cup his cheek in her hand, watching as his eyes slid shut. He could feel it, too. That warmth settling into his soul, healing it. “I see you. I can see every scar, every choice, every crucible. And I have never loved you more than I do right now. Look at me.” His eyes slowly opened, meeting her gaze evenly. “There is nothing... _ nothing  _ you have done that I haven’t already forgiven.”

“I let him break me, Felicity.”

She couldn’t take her hand away, especially when Oliver reached over and let his own fingers graze her arm. “I told Darhk…” Oliver choked on a sob, “I told him, Felicity. He just kept beating me, shocking me, threatening  _ you _ , and I couldn’t take the pain anymore. I told him some of their names.”

“Who?”

“The others,” Oliver sighed, “others like us. I gave them up,” she could see tears in his eyes, ready to spill. She could hear the heartbreak in his voice. The brokenness.

“Damien Darhk is dead, Oliver.” She whispered, but he didn’t react at all. “We can protect the others.”

To that, he shrugged. And she understood how he felt. It wasn’t about their safety. That, they could handle. He already planned on fixing what he’d done. It  was about the betrayal. His moment of weakness where he’d given in. “I looked into the eyes of the devil,” he couldn’t meet her eyes now, and she held her breath. “And I gave him my soul.” Oliver ran a single finger from her eyebrow to her chin. It felt like he was touching every inch of her. “But it wasn’t mine to give away,” Oliver whispered. “My soul’s belonged to you for as long as I can remember.”

She groaned, swearing that there wasn’t a single living being besides the two of them in that moment. 

It felt so extreme, his words, his eyes, the simple feel of him, finally real...her senses were on overdrive. Almost too much to bear.

“You’re my destiny, Felicity.”


	12. The Dreaming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Warning for smut!**  
> I thought that we all deserve some; you, me, and Olicity :)  
> If smut isn't your thing, you can skip this one. I will not be putting anything too major to the plot in this chapter. Just ya know, plenty of touchy-feely soulmate stuff and sexy times. But any little bits you may need to know, I can include in a note at the beginning of next chapter.  
> And I'll be getting back to a regular Sunday schedule for this fic! I hope you all like the chapter :) Let me know what you think!!

One of Oliver's favorite places in the world happened to be somewhere he'd never been.

Felicity's home in Nevada had held a special place in his heart since the first time he visited with her there, his wandering thoughts about her unintentionally leading him to stumble into her world, her life; the same way she had the first day he'd seen her in his bedroom when he was a kid.

As soon as he saw the little one-story house sitting in a quiet neighborhood outside of Las Vegas, Oliver understood the meaning of a home. Compared to the massive, cold rooms of the Queen mansion, her house seemed much more appealing. He couldn't wait to visit her again, and it wasn't just the weather there that made him feel so warm. Felicity and her mother shared a bond that he wasn't used to, a closeness that was foreign in his own parents. He knew that his mother loved him and Thea fiercely, that she'd kill for them as easily as she'd die for them.

It was a _different_ kind of parental love that he saw in Donna Smoak. But Oliver was grateful growing up, to be able to witness the way she loved Felicity.

Standing in front of the house, Oliver took a deep breath, hearing the crickets and seeing the sky full of stars that were always covered by smog in Starling. 

The lights in her house were off. It was late there, but it didn't stop him from going inside. Felicity had always told him to wake her up if he needed her. And he wasn't sure what it was about the night, but he needed to see her. He knew the steps to follow from the countless times he'd walked them before. Into the house, down the hall, past her mom's room, and to Felicity.

After giving the stars one more appreciative glance, Oliver smiled, excited to see the sleepy, confused and sweet girl who yawned and groaned, but always made room for him in her bed. Always held him and knew just what to say to make his silly problems feel less like a burden. Reaching the front door, Oliver noticed that it was already open.

He stopped, the smile falling from his face.

Then he moved quickly, pushing his way into the house, his eyes searching. But he didn't see anything out of the ordinary. It was just as quiet as it always was. Her mother's shoes were still left abandoned by the front door. The sink still leaked with the familiar splash. Vaguely, he could hear the television from Donna's room where he knew she probably fell asleep, and Felicity would have to go in to turn it off.

Calming himself down, he moved through the house, down the hall, past her mom's room, and to Felicity.

He shook his head, it wouldn't be unlike Donna to simply forget to close the door. Maybe she'd had another kitchen nightmare and had been trying to air out the smoke.

Gently, he pushed Felicity's bedroom door open, coming into her room and closing it behind him. Oliver sighed when he saw her in bed, lying on her side with her blankets drawn up to her chin. He shook his head, toeing his shoes off and relaxing. "Hey," he said softly. "Honey, wake up."

He'd also learned from experience that she was much sweeter if he woke her up nicely.

Rounding the bed, Oliver looked down at her, ready to nudge her until she slid over so he could snuggle. And he froze.

Her eyes were open.

Staring down at her, he tried to make his brain work while he felt his heart clenching, already knowing what his mind was refusing to see.

Felicity's eyes were glassy and unfocused. She wasn't blinking.

Oliver cocked his head to the side. "Felicity," He whispered, his heart seizing with the fight to free-fall into his stomach and lurch into his throat at the same time.

She wasn't moving.

"Felicity?" Oliver's voice cracked as he bent down, touching her cheek. Her skin felt cold. Way, way, too cold. He pulled his hand away.

Suddenly, thoughts of masked men and torture filled his mind. Remembering. A dark, damp room that hardly ever saw the sun. Threats made by faceless, evil people that promised to find her. One day. They told him over and over that she would die. And then they'd leave, let him sit in the darkness with his fear. The dread of a night just like this.

"No," Oliver gasped, shaking her a little bit, "Felicity?" 

They'd found her. Somehow, they'd found her. H.I.V.E. 

The room began to spin, and Oliver had to clench his jaw to keep the nausea in his stomach at bay. "Felicity, please," he said through his teeth, already knowing the truth of what had happened here.

His worst fear was coming true.

“What is this?” A small voice asked, right beside him. Oliver's eyes snapped up to see Felicity standing above him, her eyes wide and terrified, looking down at the same face, her own face, lying lifeless on the bed. He choked on a sob, gasping. Felicity's eyes slid to him for a brief moment, before staring at herself again. "This is what you dream about?" She asked.

Confusion filled him, his brain short-circuiting. All he could do was stare at her. The alive her. He was afraid that she was a figment of his imagination. Slowly, Felicity's hand touched his cheek, her chest heaving with a deep breath as she focused her attention on him. Meeting his eyes, Felicity smiled slightly, the way she did when she didn't really want to, but she thought he needed to see it. And she was right. Always right. He let out a sharp breath at the sight of that smile.

"This is what you see when you close your eyes?" Felicity asked, her eyebrows furrowing as she shook her head. Gently, she touched his arm, pulling him to his feet and turning him away from the bed, the nightmare, the woman he couldn't save. Instead, she pressed her palm against his cheek, and he closed his eyes as he felt the warmth of her skin.

She was so warm. Her fingers scratched gently along his cheek, her thumb brushing his lips. He could smell her. He could hear her breathing. And Oliver closed his eyes, giving into it and leaning his face into her hand with a deep breath of his own.

"Find something different, Oliver. Better," she advised, her voice barely above a whisper. He wasn't sure what was happening, or really what she even meant. But he simply nodded, agreeing because it was _her_ , and he'd do anything for her. And because 'different' and 'better' sounded perfect. "Do you want to see how I dream of you?" Felicity asked next.

Oliver opened his eyes, meeting her gaze. And she smiled. A real one this time. She squeezed his hand, encouraging him. "Can I show you?" Felicity whispered as he stared, scrunching up her nose.

Feeling a little lost, not knowing what else to do, Oliver nodded. And she returned it, stepping closer. Ignoring the dark room, the violence and death and sickening feelings inside of it, Felicity wrapped her arms around his neck and smiled. "Close your eyes," she instructed. His eyes were wide, afraid that if he blinked he'd miss her, but she just tightened her grip and waited.

Letting his hands find her hips, holding on tight, Oliver finally closed his eyes. She leaned towards him, her lips grazing his ear as she whispered gentle words to him. "When I dream of you, I see quiet places. I see orange skies and perfect views." Oliver inhaled, nodding as his own mind went there with her. "It's just the two of us. Somewhere we've never been...somewhere beautiful, Oliver. And it's _ours_."

Her voice lulled him there. As quiet and calm as waves on a beach. As warm and loving as the wind that caressed his back. And when he opened his eyes, they were there.

Oliver blinked, glancing down at her first, and then to his left, then the right. Miles of sand and water was all that he could see. He looked back down at her, surprised.

Amazed.

"How did you..."

In response, Felicity shrugged. And she gave him a moment to shake off his dread. To fully accept whatever was going on, accept that the sun was shining, the sky orange as it sank behind the water. To accept the gentle wind and the sound of waves, somewhere perfect. With her. Shaking his head, Oliver leaned down, pushing her hair back behind her ears, cupping her face in his hands. "Thank you," he whispered.

Felicity Smoak was the only person in the world who could save him from his nightmares. He just hadn't known she'd do it so literally.

She bit her lip, beaming up at him, looking absolutely gorgeous in the setting sun.

In the privacy of their own minds, and a perfectly vacant, tropical beach, Oliver couldn't resist kissing her. His lips fell on hers, his arms winding around her waist.

Felicity kissed him back just as hard, meeting him equally with every ounce of love, urgency, and desire he was feeling.

She opened her mouth, sliding her tongue against his and pulling a low groan from his throat.

He didn't question a single thing. She was there and she was kissing him, and there was nothing else to worry about. For once, for the first time in half a decade, he wasn't afraid of anything. Whatever she'd done, it was working. 

Nipping at her bottom lip, Oliver's fingers tightened on her waist, pulling her closer. He could feel his body, every fiber of his being, reacting to hers. And he remembered the first time he'd ever kissed her; on a hammock in her backyard when they were teenagers, how it had felt like the whole world slowed down and quieted just for them. He felt that way again, the breeze dying down, the waves going silent, until there was nothing but Felicity and the tiny, arousing noises she kept making as her tongue moved with his and her arms wound around his neck.

Felicity rolled her hips against him, wanting more.

Growling, Oliver gripped her ass, squeezing it roughly as he bent down to reach her, to press his body into hers, his hips grinding on her the same way hers were driving him crazy. Felicity's hands tightened on his shoulders, hiking herself up and he lifted her effortlessly, guiding her legs around his waist. 

He stood there for a moment, his cock throbbing while she rotated her hips even more, kissing and nipping and sucking at his mouth like she'd been starved of him for far too long.

"Oliver," she moaned his name, her breath shallow and gorgeous as she pulled back slightly. Breaking the kiss, she dragged her mouth down to his neck, sucking harshly on a spot below his jaw. At the same time, she dug her nails into his back, making his own hands on her ass tighten. Her moan got louder as he dug his fingers into her flesh. And he felt like he was seeing stars behind his eyelids.

Eagerness overtaking him, Oliver gasped, his body wanting to do nothing more than feel every inch of her skin.

It was an overwhelming feeling, one that made his muscles shake. He could feel her need growing, intensifying. And he knew he needed her just as much. With the feeling overtaking him, afraid of dropping her, Oliver slowly sunk to his knees.

"Yes, yes," Felicity mewled into his mouth as he laid back on the warm sand, not breaking the kiss. 

Her body still grinding, Oliver reached around her, sliding his hand down her back, his fingers roaming over her butt as he felt her smile against his lips.

Felicity's body was different than he remembered. Her muscles more defined than they once were. And although he'd always had an appreciation for the perfectly round shape of her ass, it was hard not to notice the changes and to appreciate her now, too. The way he could spread his fingers over the curves and squeeze, press his palms into the plump flesh.

She bucked her hips as he did, grinding down on him, and Oliver moaned back. "God, you're perfect," his voice rumbled on her lips.

Felicity's body was like a live wire, her energy bursting, begging to be touched. Pleased. Fucked. _Thoroughly_. 

Moving his hand between their bodies, Oliver rubbed her clit in slow circles. Felicity whimpered, both of her hands pressing to his chest as she rocked back, giving him room. He opened his eyes to watch her face as she moved with him, into his eager fingers, finding friction.

Her mouth was swollen from his. He watched while she buried her teeth into her bottom lip, biting back the noises she wanted to make. The noises he _needed_ to hear. "Mm," Oliver quickened the pace of his rubbing, meeting her shallow thrusts with his own. "Tell me, Felicity," he whispered. She cried out as his fingers pushed harder, faster, letting him know that she liked it. Very much.

"Oh my god," Felicity gasped as he shifted his hand, pinching the sensitive nub gently. "Oliver, yes!"

Even though her body, and screams, were telling him to keep going, Oliver stopped just as he knew she was about to fall over the edge. Felicity blinked down at him, a confused frown crossing her features. He smiled up at her, slowly sliding his fingers through her folds. Her body moved on it's own desire, sparking like the gorgeous firework it was, but not enough to explode. Felicity let out a guttural groan, her eyes slipping shut. She rolled her hips into his, bending down to kiss his chest, her mouth making a path up his neck to his jaw.

By the time she reached his mouth, Oliver couldn't wait. "I want to feel you come," he grumbled roughly.

Moaning in reply, as if his words were an order, she thrusted down, pushing her hand between their bodies so she could shove her panties aside.

Biting down on his own lip, Oliver cursed as she removed the clothing, gripping his cock in her hand without hesitation. "Fuck, Felicity..." He needed her _now_.

Understanding could be heard in her whimper.

She sank down, lining him up. And the tip of his erection brushed against her warmth, sliding between her folds.

Oliver paused, opening his eyes to meet her waiting gaze. And once he looked at her, she slowly lowered her body onto his, taking him. He slid inside of her, his hands gripping her hips, hard, as she began to move.

The noises she made, the sensation of filling her, knowing that she was safe, ravenous, and in a little paradise they'd created, made Oliver feel things he hadn't felt in years. Things he'd only felt for her.

She was _his_. There wasn't a single doubt in his mind. Or in hers...he knew. Felicity had always been his, and always would be his.

* * *

The first thing she felt as she woke up was her heart hammering in her chest. 

She felt the chill in the room, mixing with the sweat she could feel on her skin and creating slight discomfort.

The dream was still lazy in her mind; a beach, a breeze, and Oliver Queen. It made the harsh reality of her brain, her limbs, and her senses waking up, feel like she was being pulled out of heaven.

It took her a moment to put the pieces together, to remember where she was and how she'd gotten there. Oliver's bedroom in Coast City. As she blinked her eyes open, she took in the gentle light coming in through the window, casting a shadow against the pale painted ceiling. 

Her heart began to race as she felt him. She wasn't alone at all. She remembered going to Gotham, saving Oliver, bringing him back to the house. And he was wrapped around her. They faced each other on the bed, the same way they'd fallen asleep, except now her leg was tossed over his hip and his large hand was on her ass, pulling her body closer and she could feel his erection against her stomach.

Felicity gasped, her eyes flying down to Oliver. His head was on her bare chest, his warm breath blowing over her damp skin. She couldn't remember removing her shirt, or his, for that matter. "Felicity," his fingers tightened on her body, digging in, keeping her steady. "How the hell did you do that?"

Blinking down at his hair, she huffed, her body responding to the gravelly tone of his voice. She knew what he meant. But she didn't know the answer. Last night, she'd been half asleep when she heard Oliver whimper, his body twitching, and she'd known that he was having a nightmare. In her drowsy state, she'd pulled him towards her, wanting to comfort him, hold him close.

And she'd somehow ended up inside of his mind, his dream, seeing what he was seeing.

That was new. It wasn't something they'd ever done before, never even known to try it. The only time she had ever been able to visit him was when she was awake. And it was only his conscious would that she could see before. It created a new level of intimacy between them, an extra layer of tension. Because she hadn't just invaded on his life. She'd gone right into his head somehow and pulled him out of a dark corner of his subconscious. She'd seen his fear firsthand. She'd felt it.

The image of her lifeless body returning made her shiver, and Oliver tightened his arms around her. "I don't know," she finally breathed, giving her head a small shake. Instinctively, her hand came to his hair, stroking through it as she was reminded of his nightmare, the small taste of the horrors that haunted him. Crippled him. More than anything, she wanted to heal it.

Pressing her lips to his forehead, Felicity held him closer, "I don't know, Oliver...I just knew you needed me."

At her words, Oliver lifted her head from her chest. He looked up at her with wide, sleepy eyes. "I always need you," he grumbled, his gaze dropping to her lips. "In a million different ways."

Feeling the fire in her belly returning, hotter than ever, Felicity licked her lips. 

It was different. The look they shared. She'd seen his eyes hundreds of time, but it was always through their connection, through the visits they shared. This was real, in a way that neither of them had felt before. He was there, he was truly seeing her, his fingers weren't just a feeling. They were searing her skin. His eyes weren't thousands of miles away. They were right in front of her.

He'd always been real to her. But now he was flesh. Now he was tangible.

It felt like every particle in the room sparked to life and paid attention as they stared at each other.

And god, was it overwhelming.

Everything she'd ever wanted since she was barely old enough to understand what they shared.

The next thing she knew, her lips were crushing against his, her hands diving into his hair, his own fingers frantic and rough as he pulled her close. She opened her mouth, sliding her tongue against his.

Her need burned her, making her cry out in pain and desire. She'd never felt anything so intense, like she might actually explode if she didn't feel him inside of her soon. "Oliver," she gasped, rocking her hips against his.

Oliver shoved the blankets away, pulling her shorts down and doing the same with his own, his breath shallow and his eyes on her the whole time. She understood the desperation in him, removing all barriers between them until his body was on top of hers. He settled between her legs, dropping his forehead against hers as he looked in her eyes. 

Sharing a single breath, Felicity felt the whole world drift away. And she knew that he felt it, too. 

There was a rawness in the air, something that would change their relationship forever, making her wonder how they'd ever survived without this feeling before. Because it felt like he was the only thing holding her together now. His presence. His love for her; a broken yet passionate thing. It swelled in her chest. She could feel the way he loved her, combined with the unconditional, innocent yet fierce way that she loved him back.

For her whole life, she'd been able to step into Oliver's world. He'd been able to visit hers. But this was something else. Different than the dream, too.

As he pushed into her, slowly, she knew that everything they'd shared together was leading up to _this_. All of it. Every word, touch, and look between them from all those years ago...it was only a fraction of what it felt like to be with him in person. To actually feel his skin hot on hers, her inner walls clenching as he filled her completely.

Oliver gasped, his breath matching hers perfectly, and she planted her feet on the bed, spreading her legs and pushing up to thrust shallowly against him.

"Felicity," he sighed her name, rubbing his nose against hers. Oliver pulled out slowly, only to push in again, harder this time, making her moan. He did it again, eliciting the same response. And then one more time before he stopped.

Looking up at him, she could see their whole story in his eyes. All of it. All the twists, turns, and pain that meant _nothing_ now. Because no matter how hard outside forces had tried to pry them apart, he was with her now. Between her legs was exactly where he'd stay, too...if she had anything to do with it.

Oliver smiled as if he could hear her thoughts. Felicity returned the grin, feeling her love for him growing, wild and uncontrollable like it had a life of its own. And she knew that his head and heart were right there with her.

He didn't have to say it, but he still did. "I love you so damn much."

Felicity nodded, running her hands over his shoulders, her touch gentle on the skin that had felt so much torment. "I love you, too." His eyes darkened at the words, hearing them as much as he was feeling the truth in them. Understanding washed over him while his eyes fluttered shut. And he moved inside of her again, his face dropping to her neck where he kissed and sucked.

This time, he didn't stop. He pushed into her again and again with fervor, rapid thrusts until she was writhing. Until his cock was throbbing as he came inside of her and her own release left her body feeling light and tingly. 

That bed, those sheets, his body...it was a world they created all on their own.

One where no one else existed and nothing else mattered. 


	13. The Dating

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter: Oliver and Felicity learned that they can share dreams. Oliver was having a nightmare where he found Felicity dead at her mom's house because H.I.V.E got to her. Felicity helped him out of it and showed him a better dream (beaches and sexiness)...and then more sexiness ensued ;)

Coffee was usually the thing that forced her to get out of bed in the morning. The promise of caffeine, usually in the form of a hot latte from her favorite shop, motivated her to get her butt into gear most mornings. And as Felicity blinked her eyes open, she was torn.

Her nose told her to get up and find the coffee and...waffles? She wasn't sure what she could smell, but it was delicious and she was hungry. Her nose wanted to follow the smells to the kitchen, but her eyes told her not to move an inch. Oliver's blurry face came into view as she opened her eyes, his shirtless, sleeping form. How could she leave _that_?

The memories of the night before flooded her brain, making her heart swell and her skin feel warm. Felicity slid a little closer to him, putting her head on Oliver's pillow, her nose brushing his. Lifting her hand, she ran it over his cheek and through his hair, closing her eyes at the somewhat overwhelming feeling just _touching_ him brought her.

She hadn't felt that whole in five years. But if she was being honest with herself, she'd _never_ felt so alive.

Having Oliver in her life had never been a choice. He'd been there, he was a part of her. Getting him back, feeling how things had changed...it surprised Felicity that she was even there. Looking at Oliver while he slept, she couldn't believe she'd survived five years thinking that he was gone. She wasn't sure how she kept breathing after all of it. It felt like if he died now, her heart would stop beating, too.

As if reacting to her thoughts, Oliver inhaled, his eyebrows furrowing and his hand tightening on her hip. Slowly, his eyes opened, meeting her gaze instantly. "Hi," she breathed, blinking back unexpected tears.

It was a lot to take in. Everything since the night her company was attacked by H.I.V.E and she learned that Oliver was still alive, to being in that bed with him. And it all hit her at once.

Yet, the same moment that she felt like the walls were closing in, Oliver pulled her closer, gently pressing his lips to her forehead, and it felt a little better. As if he was standing between her and those damn walls, holding them with strong arms, keeping them from crushing her. "Good morning," he whispered, cuddling her.

Felicity sighed, burying her head in the crook of his neck. "Thank you," she kissed his throat, wondering if he even knew he was doing it. How much he was helping her.

All of the tension left his body with one long breath. All of it. "You never, _never_ have to thank me. Not for anything."

She nodded, kissing her way down his neck to his chest. Oliver's fingers brushed through her hair as she made her way to his stomach, pressing warm, unhurried kisses along his skin. "Felicity," he gasped, and she glanced up to smile at him before tugging the blanket down. 

They'd probably only gotten a few hours of sleep. Her body was a little sore, but she wasn't tired at all. "You, then coffee." Felicity grumbled, tracing her tongue over his length. He groaned, his hands tightening in her hair.

By the time they managed to put clothes on, Felicity was starving. But that didn't stop her from taking her time, her eyes flickering to Oliver as he did the same, getting himself presentable, too. Her hair was a mess, his scruff caused red, irritated marks on her mouth, but she didn't care in the slightest.

"Coffee's probably cold by now," Oliver grinned, pulling a t-shirt over his head. In response, Felicity just shrugged. Cold coffee wasn't going to make her regret the things they'd just done. "Come on," Oliver sighed, holding his hand out to her while he finally opened his bedroom door. "I suppose it's about time to get back to reality."

Walking slowly, she held his hand and rested her head on his shoulder, feeling his thumb rubbing against her palm. His finger traced patterns on her skin, reminding her of the patterns his tongue had traced on another part of her body, and she bit her lip.

Before they'd even reached the kitchen, Felicity felt like turning around and going back upstairs.

"What is it?" Oliver asked lowly, leaning down to whisper as they reached the hallway.

Letting out a sharp breath, Felicity shook her head. "Nothing," she looked back at him. "I just can't seem to get enough of you."

Oliver's eyes widened a bit, his grip tightening. And then he smiled, a faint, breathless laugh passing his lips. "I promise, there will be time for you to have any and all of me, Felicity. I'm yours." He said, poking a finger to her stomach, "but you also have to eat. Fuel for all of that...energy."

"Well, we do have a lot of time to make up for."

He nodded, his eyes softening. "I know," Oliver dropped a kiss to her nose before pressing his forehead to hers. Sharing a quiet breath, he shook his head. And then he pulled her around the corner and into the kitchen.

Felicity blinked around the room. Caitlin stood at the island in the center of the room, a mug of coffee beside her and a newspaper in her other hand. Across the room, Rory Regan sat at the dining table. He raised his eyebrows at them, his wounds mostly healed. "Wow," he whistled, "we were getting worried you two would never come out of there."

"Oh, stop it!" Caitlin picked up an apple from the bowl of fruit on the counter and tossed it at him.

Rory caught it with one hand, winking at her while he took a bite. Oliver cleared his throat, his eyes annoyed as he glanced between them. "What'd we miss?"

"Well," Caitlin sighed, "Starling is wondering what happened to the city's beloved genius." She set her coffee aside, holding up the newspaper to show them the headline. "'Where is Felicity Smoak?'"

Felicity gasped, letting go of Oliver's hand and moving towards Caitlin. She grabbed the paper from her hands, looking down at the picture of herself. "I told my associate that I was going away. They know I'm out of town," Felicity mumbled, scanning over the story. "I have loyal employees, I made sure they kept the break-in quiet. Curtis and the others...I told them I would handle this!"

"Curtis Holt isn't the nark," Rory answered, raising his eyebrow at Felicity," it wasn't him that went to the cops and claimed you were missing." Her heart sank a little, and Rory leaned back in his chair. "Sounds like Ray Palmer is pretty worried about you."

Blinking, Felicity's eyes shifted to Oliver.

Guilt crept into her mind, not just for getting lost in Oliver...but for forgotten all together. Behind that door of his bedroom, just the two of them, there was literally nothing else on her mind. The rest of the world didn't exist. Ray included. Felicity shook her head at herself, stopping the excuses. Instead, she lifted her head, glaring at Rory and his judgement. "That's impossible," she answered. "I told him I'm still out of town. I texted him yesterday and told him I was caught up in research. Why would he say I'm missing if he just heard from me?"

Rory whistled again, eyeing her as if she was the suspicious one. "That was a week ago, Felicity."

She cocked her head to the side, feeling Oliver come up beside her. "What?" He asked, his eyes focused on Rory.

"Oh," Rory grinned, "this is just too fun to watch. Okay, so...turns out that for people like us, time is a very _fluid_ idea. You two...just learned that the hard way."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Oliver demanded, getting irritated by Rory's taunting. His shoulders were tense as he crossed his arms, still keeping his body close to Felicity's.

Caitlin cleared her throat, throwing a warning look at Rory. "Oliver," she said carefully, "there are parts of this whole soulmate thing that we didn't tell you. Felicity wasn't here and it...it just seemed cruel to tell you things that didn't matter. Things that you've been missing."

"Like what?" Oliver asked, his eyes narrowing at Caitlin.

"Sometimes...when things between soulmates get, um, intense, I think that time actually slows. Or speeds up. I don't know the logistics exactly but it—it doesn't pass quite the same way for us as it does for everyone else."

Felicity blinked, staring at the woman who had always seemed rational and smart. Despite the fact that her words sounded like nonsense, she knew that nonsense was their normal. If she hadn't grown up with Oliver in her head, if she hadn't experienced it herself, she would've thought that was crazy, too. 

"Explain," Oliver grumbled.

"Well," Caitlin fidgeted, "being together, especially uh, in the way that I'm assuming you two were...it makes an hour feel like a minute, right? It makes _everything_ else disappear," her eyes flickered to Felicity, sympathy in her eyes. "I'm sure you felt it. And of course, it was probably more intense for you and Oliver. I mean, five years away from other, never truly being in the same place physically until now?" She blew out a long breath, shaking her head. "I can't say I'm all that surprised you two could let a whole week go by without noticing."

"A week?" Oliver glanced between Caitlin and Rory, waiting until they each nodded in confirmation. "How is that possible?" Caitlin opened her mouth to answer, but Oliver held up a finger. "I don't—" he huffed, "I don't need a scientific explanation on the theory of time. I want to know how we could even _survive_ like that."

Caitlin shrugged, her lips turning into a slight frown. "As far as you and Felicity are concerned, it's only been a day. For the rest of us...not so much. Your bodies and your souls connect and you just..." her eyes drifted to Rory, a look passing between them that made Felicity feel like a peeping Tom. "You just _are_. Only the rest of the world moves on." Caitlin let out a breath, looking back to Felicity and Oliver. "You just have to be conscious of it, that's all. Besides, it's our fault for not telling you it can happen, Oliver."

"Why didn't any of you..." Oliver sighed again, clearly not wanting to have to talk about this. "Why didn't you get us?"

"We tried," Rory laughed, "you didn't hear us knocking, over and over. Eventually Dig just said you deserved some time for yourselves and we should wait."

"Even though the world thinks Felicity is missing now?"

Rory rolled his eyes at Oliver, "don't be dramatic. One text to that boyfriend of hers and there's no story for the gossip magazines. No big deal."

"H.I.V.E knows who she is," Oliver seethed, "it _is_ a big deal. We don't need her face on the cover of any newspapers."

Felicity could see all of that tension in him returning. The worry. The pain. Back to reality.

"I don't—" Felicity shook her head. "I don't understand. I don't understand _any_ of this." She could feel her temper flaring. Both for herself and everything she'd seen since she left Starling, and for Oliver. For the fear in him that scared her, too. "Since the moment I stepped foot in this house," Felicity whispered, looking at all of them. "I've been listening to you people. I've been going along with your plans and doing what I'm told without asking too many questions...and I'm sick of it. I'm tired of this! Someone needs to tell me what the hell is going on here."

Three pairs of eyes stared at her, sympathy from Caitlin, distrust from Rory, and concern from Oliver. She sighed, stepping towards the door when no one spoke. "Felicity," Oliver caught her hand.

"I need some air, Oliver," she mumbled, shaking him off. She felt him start to follow but Caitlin stopped him.

Not looking at any of them again, Felicity stepped out onto the porch and closed the door behind her. She considered her car, but the air felt good. Felicity glanced at the woods, wondering if a walk might be nice, but she knew that the others would either stop her or follow her. So, she plopped down on the front steps. They could see her through the window, so they'd leave her alone.

Pulling her phone out of the pocket of her sweater, she typed a text to Ray:  _Phone's been dead. Just bought a charger. I'll call you later._

His reply came almost immediately: _Where are you?_

She sighed, typing back as she decided to feign ignorance to that headline in the paper: _Still out of town. I'm okay, I promise. We'll talk soon._

Shaking her head, Felicity set her phone aside, resting her head on her knees and taking in a few deep breaths of crisp air.

After a while, she heard the front door open, someone coming to sit down beside her. And the delicious smell of coffee. She glanced up to see Caitlin, smiling as she held out the peace offering. "Fresh pot."

Nodding, Felicity took the drink, taking a slow sip. "They send you out here to deal with me?"

"Basically," Caitlin nudged her shoulder. "They like to pretend they're all tough but they're both pretty intimidated by you."

Felicity laughed, shaking her head and looking at Caitlin. "What are you all not telling me?"

The woman cocked her head to the side, "it's not that we're keeping secrets from you. Most of what you want to know is Oliver's story. His to explain. But...I came out here because..." she shrugged, "I thought it might help if you hear some of my story. I think you're a lot more like me than you realize."

"There's this huge part of me...all of me, really, that trusts Oliver. But then there's that tiny voice that says this whole thing is insane," she huffed out a laugh.

"Oliver is your destiny, Felicity. You've known and loved him your whole life without ever meeting him in person. You can trust him and it can be insane at the same time."

She smiled despite herself, wishing she had the same penchant for making things easy that Caitlin possessed. "Well," Felicity sighed, "what's your story then?"

"The first thing you should know is that every pair of soulmates has a different story. You and Oliver have had a psychic connection since you were kids. I think that's because you needed him at the time, and he needed you. So your bond found a way."

Felicity smiled again, nodding along with her simple explanation.

"There's not much about who we are and what we can do that's easy to believe. It's not something I, or Oliver, or anyone else can explain to you. Trust me, I understand how you feel. I grew up with science. With theories and algorithms and numbers. I spent my entire life climbing the ladder that my parents put in front of me. I worked myself half to death. And I never imagined falling in love. I hardly even thought about boys. It just wasn't a dream of mine. I thought that I was living my dream, working my dream job, becoming a respected scientist, making a name for myself in the field. But then one day, I was looking out of my office window, and I saw Rory.

"He was just a little ant on the sidewalk, but I could see every detail on his face. I knew that even though I was up in my tower, invisible to the world outside...I knew that he was looking right up at my window. At me. When I saw him, I had to accept the unthinkable." Caitlin sighed, her lip twitching in a smile as she remembered. "I loved him. The moment I glanced up from my work and down at him, I loved him with my whole heart. And that feeling was bigger than me. Bigger than anything I'd ever felt before. So, I got up from my desk, and I went downstairs. He was still standing on the sidewalk, just watching me. I introduced myself, and he said that he knew who I was. Apparently he saw a picture of me in a magazine he was flipping through at the dentist" she laughed breathlessly, shaking her head. "Rory had the same feeling when he saw my picture that I did when I saw him outside. I guess I'm just trying to say that I don't think this soulmate stuff is supposed to make sense. Yet...here we are."

Felicity sighed, taking in Caitlin's words. "Here we are," she whispered back.

"It's powerful, you know? As a scientist, it horrifies me to think that I could have ended up on the wrong side of this war. If it weren't for Rory and the things I've experienced with him...if I'd never met him, I might be one of them. H.I.V.E. I know the path that I was on. I know the way my brain worked before I fell in love with Rory. People like us...they would've terrified that woman. That woman would've wanted answers, and I can't help but wonder what I might've been capable of if my life turned out differently."

"Why are you telling me this?" Felicity blew the question out with a surprised breath. 

"Because I want you to know that loving your soulmate may not be a choice. But being with him is in your control. Oliver might be the man you love because the universe chose him for you, but the reasons for that are valid. And letting yourself become the best version of who you are? That's a choice."

Felicity nodded, reaching her hand out and slipping it in Caitlin's. "Thank you for telling me all of that."

"Any time," Caitlin smiled back. "I have some experience with this soulmate craziness that's still a little new to you...I'm around if you need me, Felicity."

As Caitlin got up, Felicity turned, watching as she headed inside. She caught sight of Oliver in the doorway, holding it open for Caitlin before he stepped outside, his eyes falling on her. 

He crossed his arms, keeping his distance while his feet shuffled. "We should talk," he whispered after a moment of silence.

"Yeah," Felicity agreed, "I uh...I just have to make a call. I'll be inside in a minute."

"Using your phone probably isn't a good idea, Felicity," he pursed his lips.

"Mm," Felicity looked up at him, raising an eyebrow. "So you do still have some things to discover about me."

He blinked, confused by her teasing tone. "What do you mean?"

"Oliver," she sighed, moving to stand up and accepting the hand he offered to help her. "My phone's untraceable. Totally secure. I made sure of it."

A gorgeous grin spread across his face, his hand still in hers. "Right," he looked down at her with so much admiration written on his face. "Of course you did."

Her heart started to beat a little faster in her chest, his eyes making her body react, leaning closer even when she didn't mean to. Oliver kept his gaze trained on Felicity, his nose brushing against hers while his chest did the same. Her hands instinctively found themselves in his hair, her whole body bursting to life when his arms wound around her waist, his breath blowing across her lips.

"Wait," she froze, still holding on to him, but pulling her head away. She felt Oliver stiffen, too. "I—I need to make a call. Before we—before anything more happens between us. I, um, I'll find you in a little while, okay?"

With his eyes hot on hers, she could see the moment he understood.

Oliver's eyes darkened slightly, knowing that she intended to call Ray. The idea of it didn't seem to please him any more than it pleased her. But it had to be done.

Felicity knew, more than ever, that she didn't love Ray Palmer and never had. She did respect him, though. And she also knew that she owed him the truth. Or at least, a version of it. 

Oliver's fingers grazed her cheek briefly, and then he gave her the privacy she needed to make the call. And some of the strength.

* * *

Keeping some distance from Felicity for a few hours after leaving her on the porch was one of the hardest things Oliver had to do. Not that it was harder than those five years apart, but it was damn near close. Especially because she was _right there_. And he was desperate to be with her, to see her and talk to her. But he gave her time. 

It annoyed him, but Oliver wanted to hound her, ask her what she'd talked to Ray Palmer about. He refrained, giving her space. 

Instead, he made himself busy. Felicity had gone to hide up in his room, and he'd distracted himself with cooking.

Rory came in halfway through his prep, following his nose, apparently. "Something smells good," he said, pulling a beer out of the fridge and watching Oliver.

Offering him a quick glance, Oliver got back to the vegetables he was chopping. "Listen, Rory. I know you've kept an eye on Felicity the last few years because I asked you to. And I think you and I are pretty even when it comes to getting each other out of deadly situations. So, I have no idea what your problem is...but you need to get over it. Whatever that was this morning...with you and Felicity," he said lowly, "it better not happen again."

"I don't know what you mean," Rory shrugged, taking a sip of his beer.

"Yes, you do," Oliver shot him a look. "You're treating her like an outsider. She's not. So knock it off. Understand?"

Rory sighed, "yeah, man. I understand. You can't blame me for not trusting new people. But I get it. You love her. I can even see that Caitlin, Lyla, and Dig are fond of her. I just...I don't know how to turn that part of my brain off, you know?"

Setting his knife down, Oliver turned to look at Rory. "I know," he nodded. "Just save the anger for the people who deserve it."

His friend nodded, patting him on the back. "I'm sorry that Caitlin and I didn't tell you about the whole 'losing time' thing. It's hard to understand—"

"Unless you've experienced it," Oliver finished, familiar with the words they'd been giving him to explain a lot of the shit they dealt with. Rory nodded, taking another beer out of the fridge and offering it to Oliver. "We tried to tell you the stuff that matters."

"The night Felicity was attacked at Smoak Tech...I saved her because I knew that I could manage her movements. I think you called it shadow boxing, right?" He smirked, and Rory nodded. "You and Caitlin taught me that it was possible, and I wouldn't have been able to save her that night if I didn't know how I could get her out of there." He sighed, "I've been meaning to say thank you for that."

"You're welcome," Rory smiled slightly, clinking his beer bottle against Oliver's. "Another word of advice though, Oliver...something I wish I'd known before I met Cait?" He paused. "Don't just rely on the connection. Don't sit back and wait for fate to work things out. Fight for her. Make sure she knows that even if she wasn't your soulmate, you'd still pick her."

At first, he felt like Rory was being a little dramatic. That of course Felicity knew he loved her. That nothing had changed for him. But with the words settling over him, Oliver knew that they _had_ changed. He'd changed a lot in the time he was away from her. So had she. And even though their connection was stronger than ever, they weren't the same people. He'd kept himself from her and allowed her to believe he was dead. That wasn't something they could just forget about. And of course...there was Ray Palmer.

Rory left him to his thoughts, and Oliver let his mind wander down a dark path, but only for a moment. Then he stopped himself. Like Felicity would want him to. And he focused his effort on a different idea. 

He got dinner in the oven, then he gave his attention to the back yard. Cleaning and setting things up, enlisting some help from Caitlin and letting her add in some touches with the lights.

When it was finally ready, he checked on dinner, then glanced up at the stairs and sighed.

Caitlin came in from the yard, leaving the doors open and bringing a nice breeze into the kitchen. "You wash up and pour the wine," she pointed to him, "I'll send Felicity down."

Oliver suddenly felt a little nervous, nodding as he opened the wine bottle and carried it out into the yard.

After washing his hands, Oliver sat down at that table and poured two glasses. And tried not to let himself get too worked up while he waited, his leg bouncing. 

A few minutes later, Felicity wandered into the kitchen, noticing the open doors and finally him. She blinked, her eyes widening at the table, the lights. "What's all this?" She asked, her voice just a whisper as she stepped outside.

"Um, this...is a date. A first date. If you'd uh, if you would like to have one with me."

Her eyes met his again, and Oliver couldn't stop himself from anxiously rubbing his palm against his thigh. Felicity scrunched up her nose, smiling as she read his nerves. "Of course I would," she answered, coming closer to the table. Oliver stood up and helped her into the chair, only loving her more because she was barefoot and wearing his sweatshirt.

"Well," she mumbled, biting her lip as he sat back down across from her. "Now I get why you're nervous. What do you talk about on a first date with your soulmate who you thought was dead for five years?"

"Anything," Oliver said, reaching across the table to take her hand. "You can talk to me about anything. You can ask me whatever you want to know, Felicity. I promise you that I will answer it all."

He had to admit, he wasn't expecting her to dive in about Smoak Technologies. He expected questions, things he might not want to hear, even some accusations thrown his way. But instead she babbled while they ate, telling him all about how she'd built her company from the ground up. Felicity filled him in on the last five years, and he listened happily. She told him some things he already knew from the tabs on her Rory had kept, like her working at QC when she first moved to Starling. But she also told him things he didn't know, like how she'd stolen a photograph from his mother's office so that she could have a piece of him to hold onto. 

As he listened, Oliver couldn't help but wonder where Ray fit into all of it. Rory had told him a year ago that Felicity was seeing someone. At the time, he instructed Rory to only inform him of the details of her relationship if it concerned her safety. That was the only reason he had Rory check in on her in the first place. But now, he wanted to know about them. About her _with_ him. 

She was in the middle of a story when she let Ray's name slip, talking with her hands while she told him about her friends at the company, accidentally including Ray Palmer in some dinner party disaster story she was explaining. Oliver felt jealousy instantly rush through his body.

Felicity stopped talking, seeing whatever expression his jealousy was frozen in. Hurt. Frustration. A little bit of anger. Although none of it was directed at her. Of course he wasn't upset with her for moving on. That didn't mean he was mature enough to hide the green monster though. Just the mention of his name, and it made Oliver tense up and feel like punching something.

Yet he was curious, too. He wanted her to tell him how she felt. And Felicity could tell. She pursed her lips, leaning back in her chair as she watched him and sipped her wine. "What do you want to know, Oliver?" She asked, raising her shoulder. "About him?"

"Did you break up with him when you called today?"

"Yes."

"Did you ever love him?"

"No."

"And I mean at all. Not in the way that we love each other. I mean, is there any part of you that feels...I don't know, confused, or unsure? Any part of you that might...still be with him."

She shook her head, smiling sadly across the table. "No."

"Do you still want to be with him?"

Felicity stared at him for a long moment. "After everything between us, especially last night, it breaks my heart that you'd even have to ask." She sighed, adjusting in her seat to lean on the table. "But I get it. Your heart has been screaming for me for the last five years just as mine has been slowly dying without you. But you ignored the screaming. You buried it and covered your ears and pretended you didn't have a heart in your chest at all. You made a decision, you chose to stay dead and Oliver...I am still trying to understand that choice. I am _trying_."

Closing his eyes, Oliver let out a deep breath, the emotions he'd kept bottled up for years felt about ready to burst. "My heart belongs to you, Felicity. As much as it always has."

"But that doesn't mean your head was on the same page. And that's what you're asking me now, isn't it? You know that my heart is yours. Still yours...was always yours. But now you want to know if my head is on the same page. You want to know if my head wants Ray Palmer. Because you know better than anyone that head and heart are not one in the same."

"You're right," he whispered back. "I made that choice, every day...my head won the battle, convinced me to hide from you, protect you because that is was what I believed was right."

"I don't blame you for that, Oliver. Or for asking me that question." He nodded, and she smiled. "No," Felicity whispered back, setting her wine glass down. "I don't want to be with him. I choose you." Her shoulders slumping, Felicity let her finger trace the wine glass. "I thought you were dead. So I did what seemed normal, even though it didn't feel natural. Turns out...you're not so dead." She shrugged as if it explained everything. As if the choice was simple.

In truth, it was.

"Of course I feel guilty. I wish Ray didn't have to get hurt in the process. But I don't regret it. You're alive, and its waking up parts of me that I thought died with you that day on the boat." He stared at her, holding his breath as he listened to her soft voice. "For that, I will never be sorry."

"I need you to understand why I did it," he said lowly, his eyes boring into hers. "If Damien and Sara and everything you've seen has shown you anything, it's that H.I.V.E is dangerous. Even more so because no one even knows they exist. If they knew who you were, and that I loved you, they would have made you disappear, Felicity. H.I.V.E has power...eyes all over the world. I know what they're capable of. The things...the things they did to me were monstrous. And I wasn't willing to take any risks, not _one_ , that might've brought that horror down on you, too. I thought that as long as we weren't connected, they wouldn't be able to find you. You have no idea how sorry I am that I was wrong." 

Felicity watched him for a long moment, her hands clenched together in her lap. "You're here now. And I don't doubt that you were trying to keep me safe, Oliver. All I know is that you're _here_...and the world doesn't feel so lonely anymore."

Tears sparked in her eyes, inspiring his own that he'd been holding back. He stood up, moving around the table in an instant. Oliver knelt down beside her chair and cupped her cheek, urging her to look down at him. "I will never leave you again, Felicity. Okay? I promise. From now on, it's you and me."

"Because we're a team," she gave him a watery smile, her hand smoothing over the collar of his shirt and down his chest. "I don't care what cosmic forces brought you into my life, Oliver. And I don't care about the idiots who thought they could tear us apart. This is all that matters to me," Felicity whispered, her eyebrows furrowing as her palm rested over his heart. She sighed, looking down at him.

Oliver stood, pulling Felicity up with him and taking her into his arms. He kissed her shoulder, her neck, up to her cheek, reveling in the spark he'd never known could exist, the way he could read her body, understand it. He pressed his lips to hers, gently knotting his fingers in her hair. She opened her mouth for him, her tongue sliding along his as he tasted the wine. 

With a soft moan, Oliver picked her up easily, hooking her on his hip and heading for the house. Felicity giggled as she leaned down and grabbed the bottle of wine off the table. "You may proceed," she mumbled playfully, rubbing against him, nipping at his earlobe the whole way up to the bedroom. 


	14. The Touching

Sitting in front of a fire with Felicity in his lap was not a place that Oliver ever dared to dream of. The dark house, the warmth from the stove, and the body that seemed to fit perfectly to his like two puzzle pieces, snuggled up in a chair while she played with his fingers. He sat in front of the flames, watching them with one arm wrapped around her, his hand brushing through her ponytail, and the other between Felicity's hands as she studied the lines on his skin.

"What are you looking for?" He mumbled to her, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"Just looking," Felicity whispered back. "I thought I knew your body before..." she sighed, "but that was nothing compared to this. Does it feel this good to you?" Her fingertip grazed his palm as she held his hand up to her face. "Like every place my skin touches yours is just...buzzing with life?"

"Yes," Oliver shivered when Felicity spread her fingers, carefully placing her hand a hair away from his own, not touching him, but he could feel the power it, pulling him closer. Oliver slowly slid the tips of his fingers down the length of hers, tiny sparks of energy leaving a trail. "It's no wonder we lost track of time."

Felicity glanced up at him, the mischievous flicker he caught in her eye went right to his chest. "We're getting better at it," she argued.

Chuckling, Oliver let his head fall to the back of the chair, looking up at the ceiling. "Barely," he breathed. "Not that I'm complaining."

She giggled, a cute snort escaping her lips. Felicity brought her hand to his neck, resting it there for a moment before she tracked her way over his jaw, finally resting her palm against his cheek. "This feels different somehow."

"I know," Oliver lifted his head to look down at her. And it was true. It felt amazing; having nowhere to be and nothing to say, feeling her skin on his without any intent or distraction, just _being_ with her.

They'd spent plenty of time talking. And plenty of time just being. But Felicity still had questions, things that she wanted to know about. He was just thankful that she took her time with him, never pushing too hard or too harshly. Despite the fact that he could constantly feel her curiosity, see it on her face in those quiet moments. She waited until the fire was nearly out before she asked.

"Will you tell me about it?" Felicity whispered as the room grew darker, the light from the fireplace dimming. Oliver glanced down at her in question. "The day the Gambit went down?" She squeezed his hand a little tighter, "I remember seeing you in the water. You'd survived and there was a light. Your dad found you, and I knew you were safe. You were exhausted, but I could still feel you. I knew that you were alive. But then a few days later, it was like my body recognized that you were gone before I could. It was like this—this darkness. Emptiness. The pain of it was so slow, it confused me. By the time I figured it out, I was numb. I couldn't feel you anymore. There was just this overwhelming... _nothing_. And I knew you were dead. I was so sure of it, Oliver." She looked up at him, her eyes wet with tears, her lip quivering. "I'm sorry that I didn't look for you."

He reached down to touch the corner of her mouth, stopping the turmoil inside of her. Soothing it.

"I felt it too, Felicity. H.I.V.E drugged me with those blockers, and the effects of them made me wonder if you were alive. I let it drive me crazy, trying to convince myself that there had to be another explanation for that loss. It took a few weeks, but I eventually realized that H.I.V.E had no idea who you were. They were trying to use me to find you. That there was no way they could've hurt you. I can't even imagine what it felt like for you. I don't blame you for not looking, Felicity. You had every reason to believe I was dead. And it was safer that way." 

Glancing away, Felicity pursed her lips. "What happened to your father?"

"He died," Oliver answered, tensing up a bit, knowing she could feel it but unable to stop it.

Felicity placed her hand on his cheek again, "he killed himself?"

His eyebrows shot up, his eyes finding hers. "How did you know that?"

"I've had nightmares about it for years. You on the raft while your dad...it's the last moment I could see of you alive."

"I'm sorry you had to see that."

She shook her head, "I'm sorry _you_ did."

"He killed the captain, too," Oliver whispered. "Shot him and then shot himself. And strangely...that wasn't the thing that haunted me. Before he pulled the trigger, he mentioned you. At the time, it was just a feeling...he said 'she's always been the best part of you.' And I had this sinking feeling that he meant you. But, I thought there was no way. I'd never even mentioned your name in front of my parents, let alone said a word to them about our connection. Then...after Damien found me in the water, he suggested that my dad had been working with H.I.V.E, that he'd sold me out to them, but tried to take it back at the last minute."

Felicity inhaled, her eyebrows furrowing. "You don't...you don't think he would've really done that, do you?"

Sighing, Oliver closed his eyes, rubbing his thumb against her back more to comfort himself than her. "I didn't believe it at first. But I know he did," Oliver shrugged. "H.I.V.E kept me chained on an island called Lian Yu for a year. I had a lot of time to think, and it all made sense. My dad was involved with H.I.V.E and he knew what I am. He saw me as a 'variant' just like the monsters he worked for. He planned on handing me over to them, but he changed his mind too late, tried to use the wreck to save me. They found me anyway."

"How did you escape? I mean, I know you said Rory came for you, but how?"

"Rory, Caitlin and John had been keeping tabs on H.I.V.E for years. They suspected that my father was one of the key players in the operation, an investor at the very least. The Gambit's disappearance gave them red flags. They ended up tracking H.I.V.E to Lian Yu and that's how they found me. Rory got me off the island and on our way out, we found what they'd recovered from the boat. My dad kept a book full of names. I took it, and then we got the hell off that island. When we got back here, we looked into all of them."

He was quiet for a long moment, letting Felicity's strength wash over him. He'd done nothing but feel ashamed of his dad since the day he died. As soon as Oliver had learned the truth, there was no grief left for the man who had raised him. "It was a hit list, Felicity. My father provided H.I.V.E with suspected variants, he offered people up to be tortured, violated, and killed." His eyes shifted to hers, but the anger boiling up inside of him was only a fraction of the rage he'd felt four years ago after finding Robert's book. "I know what H.I.V.E did to me, and my dad was the reason they were able to do it to hundreds of others."

Felicity shivered, and he held her tighter, wrapping both arms around her and pulling her close to his chest. "I should get the fire going," he said lowly, gently lifting her so he could stand.

"I got it," Felicity inhaled, quickly scrambling off of him and leaning down to the fire. Staying still, Oliver watched as she catered to the coals, putting another log inside and using some newspaper he'd set aside to help it catch. He knew her well enough to know that she just needed a moment to process, to let the pieces he offered come together in her mind.

"The night we got you back from H.I.V.E..." Felicity eventually spoke, turning to look at him where she knelt in front of the fire. "You said that you'd told Damien Darhk 'some of their names', is that what you meant? Names that were in Robert's book?"

Oliver nodded, "my dad had hundreds of names in it. I think he used it to keep himself safe from H.I.V.E."

"How?"

"By offering the names as insurance," Oliver scratched at the back of his neck, wishing she'd come back to him. He didn't want to push, but he'd definitely feel better about the conversation if he was touching her while they had it. Instead he stayed put, his leg bouncing. "Some of the people on the list were already dead or missing by the time Rory and I got off the island. But most of them were alive. We've been protecting them."

"You told Darhk the names on your father's list. That's what he wanted from you?" She turned her back to him, looking down at the flames again.

Looking down at her, Oliver gripped his hands together. "Partly, yes. He wanted their names. But Darhk was also just a sick, vengeful man. I escaped his prison on Lian Yu. It hurt his pride, so he wanted me to suffer. On that island, him and his ghosts did unthinkable things that I honestly never want to have to tell you about, Felicity...but he never had _you_. He never knew _your_ name." Oliver kept his eyes on her back while he spoke. "Then he did, and I—I don't have an excuse." He swallowed, his voice dropping. "I gave him those names because I thought it was the only way to distract him from going after you, and I'd do it again if it meant keeping you safe."

She turned back to stare at him, her eyes unwavering. He wasn't sure what he expected; disgust, anger, at least for her to flinch. But she didn't. And as her eyes bore into his, he understood what she was thinking.

If their roles were reversed, she would've done the same thing to save him.

Maybe it was what any soulmate would've done for their other half. But that didn't make it right. 

Not daring to look away from eyes like that, like hers, Oliver stared back. He held Felicity's gaze for a long time, until she unexpectedly yelped, the fire crackling as the logs shifted. He was out of his chair in an instant, kneeling beside her where she gripped her own hand.

"Show me," he insisted, gently pulling her away from the fireplace. Felicity lifted her fingers back, revealing some dark soot from a stray spark that had landed on the back of her hand.

He brushed it off, feeling the smooth mark of a burn underneath. Oliver's eyebrows furrowed as he considered something, pressing his thumb a little harder against Felicity's skin. "Ow," she hissed, yanking her hand back.

"Trust me," he whispered. Reaching for her hand again, Oliver met her eyes, "let me try something." Pouting, she released her hand back into his care. He pushed his thumb against the burn again, closing his eyes and focusing. "I've seen Caitlin do this for Rory," he mumbled. "In fact, I'm pretty sure you did it for me the night you saved me in Gotham. I don't think you even knew you were doing it," Oliver sucked in a breath when he felt the dull pain radiating on his thumb. "I woke up and you were there, touching my scars." 

Oliver opened his eyes, looking at Felicity's wide ones as she stared at him. He gently ran his fingers across her skin, "better?"

"It doesn't hurt anymore," she breathed, breaking their contact; she pulled her hand away to analyze it. "You did that?"

"I took some of it," he shrugged, rubbing his index finger against his thumb, still feeling the slight burn. It was nothing, compared to his other wounds. She stared at him, and Oliver was surprised when her eyes began to water. "Felicity," he blinked at her. "What—what's wrong?"

"I don't want you to do that again," she mumbled, getting to her feet. He followed quickly. 

"Hey," Oliver said, catching her elbow and turning her to face him. "It's okay," he smiled down at her. "It's not a big deal."

Shaking her head, Felicity stepped out of his grasp. He was confused by the hurt look in her eyes. "Promise me you won't take my pain away and put it on yourself again."

"Felicity."

"Promise."

"No."

"Oliver," she sighed, dropping her head to his chest with a groan. "If there's one thing you don't need more of, it's pain."

He let out a deep breath, kissing the top of her head and winding his arms around her. "All I did was make it hurt a little less. I hardly felt it. Quit stressing out that brain of yours," he teased. "It was  _nothing_."  

"Are we safe?" She asked suddenly. "Here, I mean? How long is it going to take H.I.V.E to recover from Darhk's death and find this place?"

Oliver nudged her, guiding her head up so he could see her face. "They can't. We're protected here. This house has been safe since the day we moved in."

"What does that mean?"

"It's...cloaked, I guess you could say. Listen, honey, I understand that you deserve to know everything, but I think we've gone through enough for ton—"

"Like, cloaked by magic?"

His eyebrows furrowed, his head snapping down to hers. "Wha—why would you say that?"

She rolled her eyes, "Oliver. You just sucked the pain out of my hand by touching it. I've been seeing you in my head since I was three without ever having met you. We screwed with time by screwing each other, and I don't mean that in a vulgar way. It's true though. I mean, it was...wow, and it's been incredibly wow every time since then, to the point that I'm not really sure it's possible for us to not have the incredible, mind-blowing, _wow_ kind of sex—"

"Felicity," he cupped her face, fighting a smile. And she sighed.

"All I'm trying to say is that...after everything I've seen and felt because of you, it's not exactly a leap for me to wonder about what else the universe is capable of. So, tell me. I can handle it."

"I know you can," he gave in, grinning as he pressed his forehead to hers. Then he pulled back, taking a deep breath. Gesturing his hand back to the chair, he raised an eyebrow at her.

Felicity bit her lip, nodding. And then she waited until he sat down before she eased herself onto his lap again, getting comfortable just as she was before. "When I first came back from Lian Yu, Caitlin, Rory, John and I jumped right into protecting the people from the list," he explained, adjusting the blanket over her as he spoke.

"It wasn't just out of the goodness of my heart, Felicity. I felt like I owed them safety, refuge. And selfishly, I also needed a distraction. I had Rory find you and check in to make sure you were safe. And I found out you were living in Starling and working for my family's company. It made me want to go home...I didn't know how much my mom knew about my dad's involvement with H.I.V.E, and I hated having you so close. With Rory keeping an eye on you, it seemed like the safest thing. But it was still eating me up inside to not be with you, so I focused everything I had into protecting the people on my father's list."

"By bringing them here? To the house?" She asked, her head cocking to the side.

"Not at first," Oliver whispered back. "We tracked the other soulmates down and warned them about H.I.V.E. We told them to be careful, prepared them as best we could. But they still found them eventually. And then the people, the innocent people that my father had hunted, started to die. They started to disappear. And we knew we had to do something more.

"Caitlin told us about a man she'd known named Cisco Ramon. He was an inventor who she thought H.I.V.E recruited. We learned that after a year or so working for them, he disappeared. Caitlin suspected that H.I.V.E killed him, but John reached out to Lyla...and we found him here. He built this house out of guilt for the things he'd done while working for H.I.V.E. Only people with the soulmate gene can see it."

Felicity froze, the wheels in her head turning, and he gave her a moment to process. "How is that possible?"

Oliver nodded, expecting the question. "Our world has magic, Felicity. You're not wrong about that. But there aren't many people who know how to use it. Damien Darhk was one of them. He's been around...for a very long time, and he knew a lot of tricks and secrets that helped him find and kill people like us. Cisco knew what Damien was capable of, so he reasoned that fighting magic with magic was the only answer. The house was made to be a safe haven for soulmates, specifically to hide from Damien Darhk."

"And where is he now...Cisco Ramon?"

"Well," Oliver sighed, "I'm not sure exactly. He needed help to hide the house, someone who could use magic the way Darhk could. And he found it from a man named John Constantine." Oliver shrugged, "I never met him, all I know is that he aided Cisco in cloaking the house, and then they left it in Rory's name. From what I gather, Constantine and Cisco are off somewhere else, making more places like this. Caitlin said that Cisco had a lot of sins to atone for, and this was his way of doing it." 

Her hand came up to his hair, her fingers combing through it gently while she looked into his eyes, the information settling between them. She wanted answers, and he'd promised to give them. But he also had no plans of overwhelming her with all of it at once. After five years of hell, he finally felt at peace. And Oliver had no idea how long it would last. Having Felicity in his arms made him feel safe. Less worried. Confident, for maybe the first time since he'd lost her, that everything would be okay. Like they had _time_. 

"So what? We just wait until H.I.V.E figures out how to find us?"

"Damien was their best chance," Oliver answered, "his death means that you're safe, Felicity."

"For how long?"

"Look," he breathed, running a hand over his face. "We've been defending ourselves against these people for years, okay? We've been hiding, and avoiding, and reacting to their attacks. Now we're the ones on offense. Darhk was important. Losing him weakens them, a lot more than you know. This was a win for us, but I understand why you're worried. Felicity, you just have to trust me when I say that we're _okay_. I would never let anything happen to you. Believe me, baby...I would not be holding you in front of a fire right now if I thought there was even a _chance_ that H.I.V.E could find us."

She sighed, leaning down to press her lips against his chest. "I believe you," Felicity mumbled. "But what happens now? What happens _next_?"

"I have to kill them, Felicity," Oliver replied lowly, not meeting her eyes. "I kill them before they can kill you, me, or anyone else ever again."

A long silence passed between them, and he held his breath.

She knew that his hands were not clean of blood. They couldn't be until H.I.V.E no longer existed, and Oliver was afraid that she'd be horrified of him, of the man who had become part monster. Even though she had yet to shy away from a single word he'd said to her, he still felt like he was waiting for it. For her to truly see him as the killer he was now, not the version of him she used to know. 

As if in response, Felicity cuddled closer against him, burrowing her face in his neck and gripping his shirt in her fist. His arms instinctively tightened, his lips dropping to the top of her head as he let out a breath of relief. At least she wasn't running away screaming.

"You can kill them all, Oliver," Felicity whispered into his shirt, making a shiver run down his spine. "For what they did to you, the others, the people you tried to save. You can burn every one of them to the ground, and I will still love you. All I care about is that you don't lose yourself in the process. H.I.V.E has taken enough from you...they don't deserve your soul, too."

Oliver let out a sharp breath, his eyes watering unexpectedly. He'd never doubted that Felicity Smoak was perfect for him, but he'd never been more grateful to be loved by her. Someone who saw every stain on his conscience and every scar on his skin and didn't even bat an eye.

A woman who he had no doubt was made for him.

"I told you, Felicity...my soul wasn't theirs to take. It's always belonged to you."

* * *

She fell asleep in his arms. He was too afraid to move.

Felicity had given him every ounce of comfort, peace, and strength he had ever needed. And he didn't want to break the spell around them, the fire just coals and the room pitch black.

Oliver had no idea how long he'd stayed like that, perfectly still with Felicity on his lap. It'd been hours since she'd fallen asleep, and he was sure that the sky outside the window was beginning to lighten. But he still didn't move.

Instead he sat and he watched. He watched her face as she slept. He watched her eyelids flutter with her dreams, that little crease forming between her eyebrows that he'd been enchanted by since he was just a kid. Her lip twitched with a smile, letting him know that she was seeing good things. Happy things. Oliver watched and he listened. He listened to her breaths, relaxed and healthy. The little noises she made, inaudible words on the tip of her tongue. 

It entertained him for a long time. 

He was certain he could have stayed up all night doing just that. Watching and listening. She'd probably chastise him in the morning, but he wouldn't mind.

As the room grew lighter, he heard footsteps on the stairs, and he knew it was Caitlin before she even poked her head in. Her eyes drifted around the room until she noticed them. And then she smiled. "Hey," Caitlin whispered. "What are you doing up?"

"Felicity fell asleep," he whispered back, looking back down at the woman sleeping on his chest, offering no other explanation.

Caitlin stepped closer, pulling her sweater closed as she sat down on the couch beside him. "Couldn't sleep?" She asked. Keeping his eyes on Felicity, Oliver just shrugged. "Me either," Caitlin yawned. "Rory's been having nightmares. He tosses and turns all night."

Looking down at Felicity again, Oliver felt more than ever that he made the right choice to protect her from everything he'd gone through in the past five years. She didn't toss or turn, she slept peacefully. Felicity may have been heartbroken in ways he wished he could heal, but she was alive. She wasn't forced to live with the fear and paranoia that still haunted him, Caitlin, Rory, and the rest of the people who were unlucky enough to know about H.I.V.E.

Until recent events, Felicity had never had to worry about it. He couldn't imagine the pain she'd felt, believing that he was dead. But at least she'd been safe from the threats and horrors that H.I.V.E was capable of. 

Oliver sat perfectly still again, this time letting Caitlin's presence remind him that his friends were also safe. Everyone under the roof of a cloaked house and finally out of harm's way. Even if he knew it wouldn't last forever.

The silence remained for a few long minutes, his eyes finally growing tired. Oliver glanced down at Felicity one more time before he closed them.

And when he opened them again, he knew he couldn't have been asleep for very long. The room was only a fraction lighter than it'd been when he closed his eyes. He looked at Felicity first, still curled up with the blanket, her hand in his. He checked on Caitlin next, grinning when he saw her passed out on the couch next to them, her mouth hanging open, hair in her face, and phone still in hand, just how she'd apparently fallen asleep.

"Oh good, you're awake,"

Oliver turned towards the kitchen at the sound of Lyla's voice. She was leaning against the counter, her face concerned while John hovered a foot in front of her, clearly in the middle of a heated discussion. "What's going on?" He asked, wincing when Felicity let out a little groan, pulling the blanket over her head. He smoothed his free hand over her back, coaxing her back to sleep.

Lyla came closer with John right behind. "The police found a body last night," she explained.

"What?" Oliver stiffened.

"It's just like the others," Lyla whispered, crossing her arms.

"We don't know that," John sighed.

"I'll call the girls. Have them look into it," Lyla nodded, "if anyone can dig up the truth, it's Sara. I should be getting back there anyway..." Her eyes flickered up to John, a look passing between them.

Ignoring that...Oliver cleared his throat, "who was it?"

Lyla looked back at him, "Amy Baker," she said sadly. "Her name is on the list."

"Was it H.I.V.E?" Oliver replied, his voice low, trying not to wake Felicity. 

"Not as far as the official autopsy report indicates," John huffed, "but according to my source at the medical examiner's office, they found puncture wounds. Blood was taken before her death, hair, skin and nail samples after. Just like the others."

At that, Caitlin groaned, tossing the blanket off of herself and sitting up from the couch. "I'll go wake Rory," she grumbled, stretching as she got up and headed upstairs.

"Maybe Damien Darhk dying didn't hinder their work as much we thought it would," Lyla seethed into the silence. 

"We always knew H.I.V.E was bigger than him," John answered, his eyes on Lyla as she began to pace.

"How much bigger, though?" She asked, tossing her arms out to the side. "We have no idea. Instead, we attacked them at the only base we knew about, killed our best lead, and burned the place to the ground. I'm sorry," she huffed, shaking her head, "but they're still killing us and suddenly that plan feels like it was very stupid."

"We had to," Rory's voice came from behind Lyla, making them all turn. "Darhk was too close," he continued, stepping into the room. "He would've found us here sooner rather than later. Sara made the right call by killing him. Besides, Oliver would be dead by now if we didn't."

"Yeah, well now they're right back to dropping bodies," Lyla narrowed her eyes at him.

Rory just shrugged, his eyes tracking Caitlin while she slipped through the doorway and made her way to the couch, plopping down and running her fingers through her hair. The room quieted, and Rory eventually glanced away from her, his eyes landing on Felicity. "Maybe _she'd_ be able to shed some light on the situation."

They all stared at him for a moment while he kept his gaze on Felicity's sleeping form. It set Oliver on edge, and he adjusted Felicity in his arms protectively, feeling the need to shield her from Rory's glare. "What is that supposed to mean?" He growled, his anger rising.

"It means...maybe Felicity Smoak here knows more than we think she does."

He took a step towards them, and Oliver froze. John moved in front of Rory, putting a hand on his chest. "Either explain what the hell you're talking about, Regan. Or get out of here and go cool off."

As the wise voice of reason that John Diggle had been for them, Rory listened and calmed down, backing off. Caitlin stared at him incredulously, anger clear on her face that made Oliver realize even she had no idea what Rory's problem was. After another intense moment of silence, he spoke. "I wanted to find out more before I told you, Oliver...I knew you'd probably kill him either way, so I wanted the full story. Needless to say, I got a little sidetracked with all the suicide missions to hell last week."

"Explain," Caitlin demanded, wringing her hands together.

Rory paused, looking at his soulmate, reading the rage directed at him. "I've been keeping tabs on Ray Palmer ever since he started dating Felicity. Oliver, I know you said to only inform you on things that concerned Felicity's safety...you told me to leave it alone, but nothing in our lives is ever a coincidence. It was obvious that you were pretty blind to that and wanted to keep being blind to it—"

"Just get to the point," Oliver hissed through his teeth.

Glancing between them all, Rory put his hands up. "You know what," he said, raising his voice, "why don't we just wake Felicity so she can explain it, huh? Hey, Felicity!" He leaned towards her, and Oliver braced himself, half ready to punch his friend in the face. "Time to get up!"

She stirred as Rory yelled, blinking her eyes open. Oliver sat still, glaring at Rory. "What's going on?" Felicity asked, pushing away from him to sit up, her eyes confused as she looked around the room.

"We were just discussing your boyfriend," Rory shrugged, "mind answering a few questions about Ray Palmer?"

"Rory!" Caitlin snapped, standing up to face him. "Knock it off. Now."

"What about Ray?" Felicity asked groggily, coiling into Oliver's chest while all the eyes in the room turned to her.

He shook his head as he stared at her.

Oliver stood up from the chair quickly, his muscles aching after spending so long sitting there, not wanting to move or disturb her. And now she'd been woken up by someone yelling at her, demanding answers.

"We're not doing this," Oliver grumbled, authority in his tone. He didn't give a shit what Rory thought he knew, they were all insane if they expected him to sit back and watch them interrogate the love of his life like she was on trial. Oliver held Felicity closer, carrying her towards the stairs.

"Wait," she yelped, clutching his shirt as she sleepily looked at the others, "no, tell me. What's going on?"

Knowing what was good for him, Rory chose to keep his mouth shut. Eventually Lyla sighed, "we think H.I.V.E is killing people. Again. And um, Rory here...suggested that you might know something about it."

"I found some oddities in Palmer's accounts a few weeks ago," Rory spoke up, his voice lower, less confrontational than before, and his eyes on Caitlin. "Transactions that didn't make sense. I wasn't sure if Felicity was a part of it."

"You didn't think that was important enough to tell us before?" Caitlin raised her eyebrows at him. "To tell _me_? Instead you just decide to bombard Felicity with stupid accusations!"

"What kind of transactions?" Felicity asked, wiggling in Oliver's arms. He squeezed her tight for a brief moment before setting her on her feet, leaving a hand on her back to steady her.

"Large sums of money being sent to off-shore accounts," Rory whispered, all the anger draining from him and apparently overtaking Caitlin, who looked like she was ready to fly off the handle. "Some of the wires Ray used are almost identical to the ones Robert Queen used while he was investing in H.I.V.E."

Felicity blinked at him, "you think Ray is funding the giant conspiracy trying to kill us?"

"It looks that way," Rory cocked his head to the side, analyzing Felicity. He was suspicious of her, like she had something to do with it. Whatever _it_ was. And that was really pissing Oliver off.

"That's impossible," Felicity shook her head. "Ray wouldn't do that."

Rory narrowed his eyes at her, his shoulders stiffening. "And are you saying that because you actually believe it or because you're covering for him?"

Felicity scoffed, her temper flaring as she glared back at Rory. Oliver took a step towards his friend, not sure what he was going to do, but Caitlin beat him to it. She poked a finger into Rory's chest. "Stop being such a ridiculous asshole," she growled at him, "or I swear to god you'll be sleeping on the couch. No, a tent in the back yard. No! The back yard. No tent."

Shaking his head, Oliver squeezed Felicity's hand. He knew Caitlin and Rory, and he knew what it was like to love someone so deeply. Caitlin's threats were empty, and Rory knew it, but he still nodded, pinching his lips together.

"You think if this is true, that I knew about it?" Felicity asked, interrupting Caitlin's glares and Rory's puppy-dog eyes. "Why would I help the people who want me dead? Who attacked me at Smoak Tech that night? The people who hurt _Oliver_? Why would I do that?"

In response, Rory just shrugged. "Why would Ray Palmer?"

All eyes in the room ping-ponged between them, and Felicity laughed once without any real humor. "I'm telling you that this can't be the whole story. I know Ray. He wouldn't hurt a fly. There's not a chance in hell he's financing some evil corporation that kills 'variants' or whatever they call us."

Oliver wasn't sure if it was jealousy flaring in his chest, or righteous suspicion. "How are you so sure?" He mumbled, glancing down at her from the corner of his eye. "I mean, you're adamant here that Ray's not working for them. How do you _know_ , Felicity?"

Her head tilted up to meet his eyes, her jaw clenching. "Fine, let's just go back to Starling so I can ask him, then. Face to face."

He sighed, stepping closer and cupping her face between his hands. "I trust you. If you can look me in the eye and tell me that there is truly _no way_ that Ray Palmer is involved with H.I.V.E, then I'll believe you. If he did this, then he betrayed you, Felicity. He used you and he lied to you. So, I'm asking you. Is it possible that Palmer could be capable of something like that?"

Seeing the honesty in him, really searching for an answer rather than accusing her, Felicity stared back at him, her confidence wavering. "I—I don't know. I suppose it's possible...I always thought Ray was a good man but I never truly let him in. I didn't know him as well as I told myself I did. But I still don't think he'd work with H.I.V.E, Oliver."

"Okay," he whispered, smiling gently down at her, "then we'll check into it." He glanced back at Rory, throwing him a pointed look, "we'll find more information before we jump to any conclusions."

Rory nodded once, and Oliver relaxed a little, knowing that the worst of the tension had passed. "I've been keeping an eye on it, but I haven't been able to get anything more," Rory explained.

"I can," Felicity breathed. "I can hack Ray's records and find out where he's been sending the money. I mean," she looked at Rory, raising her eyebrows in challenge, "as long as you trust me, that is."

Sighing, Rory lifted his shoulders, "I know a lot about you, Felicity. Even when Oliver thought he'd never see you again, I always had a feeling that you would find your way back to each other. It's not _you_ I don't trust...it's any crack in our armor that H.I.V.E could find and use against us. That's what worries me. Palmer is close to you, and you're close to Oliver," he huffed, shuffling his feet. "I'm afraid it could be a crack. That didn't give me the right to jump down your throat or lie about it and...I'm sorry." 

"Well," Felicity whispered, giving him a small smile, accepting the apology instantly. Because she was _her_. "I'll make damn sure that Ray has nothing to do with this."

"What do you need?" Oliver asked.

Biting her lip, Felicity took his hands in hers. "A ride back to Starling. I can't hack my ex-boyfriend from here."

Oliver froze for a split second, and then he shook his head, "not a chance in hell."

"I wasn't really asking, Oliver," she said gently, looking up at him. "It's time for me to go home if we want to get to the bottom of this. You said that H.I.V.E killed someone. It's time to stop hiding."

"Fine," Oliver nodded, even though he could feel the color draining from his face. "Then it's time for me to go home, too."

"Oliver," Caitlin swung around, her eyes wide. "You can't."

He sighed, keeping his eyes on a frozen Felicity. "I've been thinking about this," he mumbled to her before addressing the rest of them. "There would be plenty of attention on me, the world would be watching. It'd make it a lot harder for H.I.V.E to kill a recently resurrected playboy than it is to kill a man who is already believed to be dead. I can say I met Felicity in Coast City and that she figured out who I am. Tell the press and my family that I'm suffering from amnesia or something, it'll be a good cover so that I can keep Felicity with me."

"Oh my god," Caitlin laughed, "you can't be serious."

"Yeah, Oliver," John spoke up again, running a hand over his head. "I don't know about this, man."

He inhaled, looking at all of them, the people who had protected him and kept him safe for years. "We all want to take down H.I.V.E. Felicity's right. Starling is where we need to start. I can look into my family. My dad worked with them before, maybe my mom knows something that could lead us in the right direction. And now this thing with Palmer, and the body...I think this the only way we're going to hit them before they hit us."

Felicity's hand came up to his face, pulling his attention down to her. She blinked up at him, "you've really been thinking about this," she mumbled, and he nodded. "Are you sure?"

"Honey, the safest place for both of us now, is together."


	15. The Distracting

They were all tired. 

The trip back to Starling wasn't as simple or easy as Felicity's drive to Coast City the first time, hopping in her car at Oliver's instruction and driving until she found the house. Meeting Caitlin, John, and the others felt like a lifetime ago. Felicity didn't even really feel like the same person she had just a couple of weeks ago. Discovering that Oliver was alive had shifted something her, and she hadn't noticed at the time. Learning about Lyla and the Birds of Prey and saving Oliver, it showed her things she'd never thought were possible. But most of all, seeing Oliver again, in the flesh, changed her life forever.

There was no going back to the work-obsessed, unemotional, in hindsight _empty_ person she'd become.

Felicity couldn't help thinking how strange it would be to finally have Oliver and Starling City in her life. It'd always been his home, and after he'd disappeared, it had become hers, too. But never at the same time. 

Getting home, with Oliver, meant that they needed a plan.

First step of the plan was building their story.

Caitlin, Rory, John, and Lyla had spent a lot of time helping them with that. Making sure all the details added up and prompting them with potential questions Oliver's family and her employees would have. Luckily they'd gone their whole lives and never crossed paths, at least not in any way that could be traced; since 'we dated in our minds' would land them both in a psychiatric ward anyway.

Technically, Coast City really was the first place that she and Oliver met. Not so lucky though, there were some coincidences that might make them look suspicious. Felicity working at QC shortly after Oliver's disappearance, for example.

Lyla instructed them to keep their story simple and their answers short. Felicity saw him on the street in Coast City and recognized him instantly because she'd worked for his family. She'd approached him, and he'd been surprised and confused when she called him Oliver Queen. 

Second step was having Felicity forge medical records for Oliver; proving that he'd suffered a traumatic accident that could easily be linked to a boat sinking, creating plausibility for the 'amnesia' aspect of the plan. The excuse allowed them plenty of room to feign innocence and avoid giving too many answers about where the hell Oliver had been the last five years. Because that was surely going to be the first thing his family, reporters, and the world, would want to know. But they couldn't give answers if they simply pretended Oliver didn't have any.

Third step was apparently deciding who would go with them as back up. John, Lyla, Rory, and Caitlin all insisted that they not go alone. They anticipated that if H.I.V.E wasn't in Starling already, they wouldn't be far behind, once the news of Oliver's return broke. By the end of the night, they'd settled on Dig, who would soon conveniently be hired as Oliver's bodyguard once they got home.

It'd only taken Lyla a moment to decide that she would accompany John, causing a few eyebrows in the room to raise, include John Diggle himself.

After packing Felicity and John's cars, they'd said their goodbyes to Caitlin and Rory. Then she'd climbed into the passenger seat of her mini cooper while Oliver followed John's car down the driveway, and she'd looked out of her window at the house, saying a silent goodbye to the place that had reunited her with Oliver.

"You okay?" He asked as soon as the house was out of sight.

Felicity nodded, blinking back the moisture in her eyes. "Yeah, I didn't realize I'd gotten a little attached to that house," she laughed under her breath.

Oliver smiled at her, reaching over to her lap, twisting his fingers through hers. "We'll come back someday," he whispered.

She hummed, holding his hand between both of her own. Felicity lifted it to her mouth, pressing a gentle kiss to his knuckles, which were mostly healed now. She ran her thumb across his scarred flesh, feeling the smooth and slightly damaged skin. And even though the scars were still new to her, she found comfort in the familiarity of _him_.

The drive was long. And since they weren't in _too_ much of a rush, none of them very eager to execute this plan and blow all of their worlds up, they took their time.

Because of the ominous unknown of it all, stopping for dinner together meant that the four of them looked like a bunch of stressed, overtired people sharing a meal in a diner booth.

It was sad, and Felicity finally snapped out of it after their waitress set down their plates, giving them all a strange look. "So," she sighed, glancing at John and narrowing her eyes a bit. "How did you and Oliver meet?"

Diggle hesitated for a moment, leaning back in the booth and eyeing her. She looked up at him with wide eyes, feeling Oliver's gaze on the side of her face. And Felicity shrugged, picking up her spoon to take a bite of her soup while she waited. After a moment, John smiled, shaking his head at her. "I was on a pretty dark path of revenge against H.I.V.E...Oliver found me and stopped me from going over the edge."

At the answer, she glanced between the two men, seeing Diggle's small and sad smile, Oliver's eyes still on her, both of them watching her reactions. When she looked at Lyla, the woman simply shrugged. No help at all. "This isn't a very fun story, is it?"

John chuckled, shaking his head again, "nope."

Pausing for a moment, Felicity tried to read each of her companions, to determine whether or not she should ask. Since no one was giving her a clear indication, she went with it. "What did you have against H.I.V.E? I thought you weren't...I mean, I was under the impression that you didn't, um, have a soulmate, I guess."

"I don't," John answered, shrugging nonchalantly. Felicity hadn't had much of a chance to talk to the man while they were at the house, and everything had been too tense and chaotic to notice how warm he truly was. If only she'd seen that kindness in him sooner, maybe walking into a strange house and jumping into a mission to save Oliver with a bunch of strangers wouldn't have felt so insane. "I don't have the variant gene that H.I.V.E is after. But...my brother did," he nodded once. "They killed him. Four years ago, I was wading my way through a suicide mission, ready to die for my revenge, when Oliver pulled me in. Proved to me that putting an end to the organization wasn't a one-man job."

Glancing between them again, she could see the appreciation John had for Oliver. And vice versa. The men had probably saved each others lives more than Felicity wanted to hear about. The look that passed between them wasn't just a mutual respect, either. It was friendship. And she felt very grateful that Oliver had John Diggle in his corner for those years she'd been separated from him. "Well," she mumbled, smiling warmly at the man across from her and gently placing her hand on the knee of the man beside her. "I'm happy he had you."

Thanks to her line of questioning, the group seemed to relax a little.

They told her stories about the time she'd missed; Caitlin's ability to always get them out of trouble and Rory's ability to always get them into it. Lyla told her a little more about her tours in Afghanistan, especially a few daring and heroic stories about one _Johnny_ that had them all smiling. And even though Felicity could tell that the good times were few and far between for the people before her, she was glad that at least they'd had each other. And even though it made her chest ache to know that she wasn't a part of that time in Oliver's life, she'd never felt more like she was part of the group than she did in that diner.

When they finally finished eating, Felicity could feel the change in their moods. Each of them were a little lighter. Although she still had plenty of questions about the two people sitting across from her, she chose not to pry. 

John tossed his napkin onto his empty plate, throwing a wink at Lyla that definitely made the woman blush. "Maybe we should find a place to stay for tonight," he suggested, "it's already late...and we're only an hour outside of Starling. I think it'd be better if we wait until morning to let shit hit the fan."

Nodding instantly, more than willing to prolong this, Felicity agreed. And Oliver pursed his lips. In truth, he was going to get the worst of the storm. He'd finally be coming face to face with his family again. His mom and his sister. His friends.

It was _his_ life that was about to be turned upside down, and he'd never be able to go back to being unknown.

Felicity could tell that he was anxious about it, maybe even wanted to get it over with. But after a moment's contemplation, he nodded, too. "We should check in with Caitlin and Rory anyway," he sighed, "make sure they haven't found any surprises we could be walking into."

None of them had actually slept since they made the decision to come back to Starling. With a full belly and more understanding about the man she loved and the people  _he_  loved, Felicity finally felt the exhaustion her body had been trying to express all day.

Oliver drove silently, as he had for most of the long trip, with a grounding, warm hand on her thigh.

And she traced her finger across the back of his hand, just feeling him, touching him because it felt good. Right. His skin on hers was still a strange yet exciting thing for both of them; like a cold drink of water when you're dehydrated or feeling the sun on your face after days of rain.

It was _energy_.

Her eyes grew heavy as she watched John's SUV ahead of them, feeling Oliver's fingers flex, squeezing her leg. She looked over at him, smiling when he glanced down at her, too. And her hand came up to cup his cheek, trailing lazily over the 5 o'clock shadow dusting his jaw. 

It shouldn't have felt like such a wonderfully perfect, whole moment. But it did.

* * *

After getting to the motel, the first one they'd seen as they headed towards Starling, Felicity had continued to fight her fatigue long enough to take a shower. And then a little longer while she waited for Oliver to take one, too.

And then she'd nestled right up to his chest as soon as he'd climbed into bed with her. Oliver's finger combed through her wet hair, his own breath becoming slow and even as he drifted off at the same time.

When she woke up the next morning, she felt colder. Felicity knew that Oliver wasn't in bed anymore before she opened her eyes, before she reached her hand across the empty sheets. Frowning, she sat up, blinking in the morning light.

The curtains were drawn, letting in just a little bit of sunlight, but the door was ajar, offering some extra light and cool air. That might have freaked her out after everything she'd seen lately, but just beyond the cracked door, she could hear Oliver and John's voices as they spoke lowly.

"He's sticking his nose where it doesn't belong again, and I swear to god, Oliver...every time I say that, he's closer."

"Well, it's kind of a nonissue at this point, isn't it?" Oliver replied, sounding tired and gravelly, like he'd just woken up. 

"He was in Gotham," John answered with an exasperated sigh. "Looking into the fire at that building H.I.V.E was using. The one  _we_  blew up? It might not seem like a big deal anymore since you're about to return to the living, but it's dangerous how close he is to the truth. You were presumed dead, and he's right on your tail, Oliver. Do you really think he'll give up on whatever ghosts he's chasing just because you come back and say everything's fine now? He's following some kind of lead, we have no idea how much he knows, and we need to be prepared to handle him."

"I guess we'll just have to see," Oliver sighed. "There's nothing more we can do now. Look, I don't care, John. As long as Felicity is out of harm's way...Tommy can chase ghosts as much as he wants. He can believe this memory loss story or he can think I'm full of shit. It doesn't matter. We have bigger things to worry about than my nosy best friend."

"I hope you're right about that, man."

A moment of silence, and then the door opened, and Felicity instinctively squeezed her eyes shut in an attempt to pretend she wasn't eavesdropping.

Her body was probably too stiff, but she stayed quiet as Oliver closed the door, coming back into the room. The bed creaked under his weight when he sat down on the edge of the mattress. She heard him sigh, and then he laid down, curling her up in his arms and pulling her closer to his chest. "I know you're awake," Oliver mumbled gently, pressing his lips against her neck. "Your heart is racing and you're shaking. Were you listening?"

She sighed, relaxing. "Maybe a little bit..."

Oliver chuckled, brushing her hair over her shoulder and kissing her skin. "You don't need to hide from me, honey. John knocked because Rory called about Tommy. I didn't want to wake you up. By the way, have you always been such a heavy sleeper? I swear, I could throw a rave in our bedroom and you'd sleep through it."

Felicity rolled her eyes, laughing as she pulled back to see him. 'Our bedroom' sounded like a very nice sentiment she wouldn't mind discussing further. Another time.

"No, I only became a heavy sleeper since I've had this huge guy in bed to protect me every night," she teased, smiling as he hummed in agreement. "What did you and John mean about Tommy?" She asked, her eyebrows furrowing. She remembered Oliver talking a lot about Tommy when they were in high school. Plenty of her conversations with him growing up had been about the mischievous best friend who always pulled him into trouble.

"He's been looking for me ever since the boat went down," Oliver explained, lifting a shoulder. "Surprisingly, he hasn't been that far off. John actually thinks he's putting pieces together, which...is a little concerning, I'll admit. But if his mission is to find me, then he won't have much work left to do in just a couple hours."

Felicity squinted at him, making a face that made him laugh. "You don't think it's important that he seems to know some things, at least about where you've been? Maybe even about H.I.V.E? How are we going to pull this thing off if Tommy doubts us?"

"As far as I'm concerned, there's no point in worrying about Tommy. He's harmless. At least, he's not my top priority. I'm sure he'll be skeptical, Felicity. But what else can we do besides stick to the plan?" 

She sighed, "okay...you're right."

Oliver raised his eyebrows, smirking at her. "Oh, I like hearing you say that," he mumbled, nudging her onto her back and moving to hover over her. She snorted, rolling her eyes at him again. Oliver laughed too, leaning in to kiss the corner of her mouth, purposefully missing her lips before he trailed kisses along her jaw to her ear, and then back.

Finally, his mouth closed on hers, a satisfied hum rumbling from his chest as he pressed his weight over her a little more, his elbows shifting by her head so he could dive both hands into her hair.

She spread her legs, making room for him to nestle between them, each of them groaning. "We need to get going," Felicity mumbled against his lips.

"I know," Oliver replied, his tongue sliding against her bottom lip. 

Felicity smiled, speaking between kisses, "we need coffee."

"Mmm," he hummed back. His mouth devoured hers like she'd never been kissed before, drawing an involuntary whine from her lips. Her knees fell open a little wider, feeling Oliver's hips pressing harder against her center. The more he kissed her, the more she began to forget where they were, her head drifting off to more pleasurable ideas.

She didn't hear the knock on the door the first time, but Oliver's lips slowed on hers. She heard the second knock, and Oliver sighed sadly. "We'll be out in a minute," he called before resting his forehead to hers, giving them both a moment to catch their breaths.

"Johnny's still getting ready," Lyla's voice called back. "I thought Felicity might want to come with me to grab coffee."

Oliver picked his head up, looking down at Felicity, and her eyes widened. "Can Lyla read minds?" She whispered to him, only somewhat joking. He breathed out a laugh, kissing her on the nose. "Be out in a sec!" She replied, scrunching her nose at Oliver.

With another sigh, he rolled off the bed, and off of her, picking up his duffel bag and digging through it for a shirt. She pursed her lips, watching his muscles for another moment in appreciation before she moved passed him to the bathroom.

Quickly washing her face, Felicity pulled her hair into a ponytail and then walked back into the room in search of her toothbrush. She hummed as she looked, walking back to the sink to brush her teeth once she'd found it. As she stood in front of the mirror, she stretched her neck, seeing Oliver's reflection come up behind her, his eyes intent on hers.

Felicity took the toothbrush out of her mouth, pouting at him, "what?"

He shook his head, "nothing." Although it didn't look like nothing; his mouth pulling down in a slight frown, his eyebrows furrowing. Oliver wrapped his arms around her, burying his head in her neck. "I just like seeing you like this."

"Like what?" She asked, running her hand over his arm and leaning her head against his temple.

"Here," he mumbled back, keeping his face hidden in her neck, his breath on her throat making her body react. "Happy. Happy with me."

"I've never been anything but happy with you," she whispered. 

He lifted his head, meeting her eyes in the mirror. And the heat behind them was becoming something familiar. Something that instantly set her heart on fire.

Oliver pulled back, clearing his throat and she knew he felt it, too. "We need to get going. Otherwise I might say 'screw it' to this whole plan and run away with you."

Her lips pulled up in a smirk, "don't tempt me, Queen."

He smiled back at her, stepping away with a wink and moving out of the bathroom, letting her finish her dental hygiene in peace.

She got dressed quickly, pecking Oliver on the lips while she pulled her coat on, "be right back," she told him, opening the door before they could get distracted again. He waved her off, rolling his eyes playfully.

And she was still smiling as she closed the door behind her, seeing Lyla sitting at a small table by the motel's parking lot. The woman smiled, looking tired, and waved. As Felicity approached, Lyla took a pull from the cigarette between her fingers and then tossed it on the pavement, stomping it out. "I didn't know you smoke," Felicity cocked her head to the side. They'd slept under the same roof for a week, and Felicity had never seen her light a cigarette.

"I don't," Lyla chuckled. "Last night was...a little weird."

Felicity raised her eyebrows, "weird how?"

"Johnny and I just..." she blew out a breath, her cheeks puffing, and shook her head. "I don't even know."

"Something happened between you two?" Felicity asked nonchalantly, her curiosity flaring. She hadn't even dared to ask Oliver about whatever was happening between Lyla and John. It wasn't her business, but she was damn nosy. 

"Not the first time," Lyla grumbled, her eyes flickering away. "And I always feel guilty. Like I betrayed Wes. And then of course, I withdraw, and Johnny feels like crap, which makes me feel even worse, and it never ends well." She looked up at Felicity, her eyes swirling with frustration and confusion. "So why can't I stop doing it?"

"Wes was..."

"My parallel, yes. That's what we called them in Nanda Parbat." A ghostly smile crossed her lips, one Felicity not only sympathized with, but understood.

She took a seat beside Lyla on the bench, "and you feel guilty for liking Dig?"

"It's different where I'm from," Lyla sighed, straightening her shoulders. "H.I.V.E calls us 'variants' because they don't see us as human. Caitlin and your friends call us 'soulmates' because they believe their other half was made for them, bonded to them. Where I grew up, we called them our 'parallel'. I was raised to believe that Wes' life and mine were equal. That his journey and mine ran side by side. That we were destined to begin and end beside each other.

"See, my father held power in Nanda Parbat," Lyla explained, "and he had ways of finding my parallel before I was old enough to even grasp what I was. Wes was just a familiar face in my dreams each night. My father brought him to Nanda Parbat when I was four years old. And I had belonged to him ever since. My whole life with Wes was planned by those around us, but it was okay because we had each other." 

Hesitating for a moment, Felicity pondered what that might have been like. Having Oliver by her side in a world like that would have meant everything, but she knew that she still wouldn't have been happy to follow anyone's plans for her life. Sure, Oliver's presence would have made it bearable, but what about everything else? What about all the other things in life? "That doesn't sound like a way to live," she mumbled quietly.

Lyla raised her eyebrows, her shoulders falling as she pulled her lips to the side. "It wasn't. Not really. I know that Wes and I could have had so much more if we weren't under my father's thumb. But what we were doing in Nanda Parbat was too important. We were saving lives. Protecting those who couldn't protect themselves. Fighting H.I.V.E."

"You lost your parallel and your home the day H.I.V.E dropped those bombs," Felicity whispered, her heart breaking for the woman, reliving the story she'd heard already about the Birds of Prey.

"And then I joined the army," Lyla nodded. "Four tours in Afghanistan. Part of me was hoping I'd die on a battlefield like my father always warned me I might," Lyla's voice was distant, shaking her head out of the thoughts. "But instead I met Johnny."

Even though she didn't know Lyla all that well, or how she'd react, Felicity felt the need to reach out and take the woman's hand. So she did. "I'm so sorry, Lyla."

The woman smiled, blinking back tears. "I have to admit, Felicity...I've wanted to tell you about it since we met. I couldn't stop wondering what you think of it all...knowing your story with Oliver, and," she looked at her apologetically, "what happened when you thought he was dead."

Felicity gave her a smile, "Ray, you mean?"

"I know it's rude to ask," Lyla breathed, blushing, "but you moved on after Oliver was gone. I was conditioned not to even _look_ at other men besides Wes. It's made the way I feel about Johnny...so confusing." 

"Well," she shrugged, letting out a long breath. "I think for me it was different. The more I think about it, the more I see that there was probably a part of me, buried deep down, that knew Oliver wasn't really dead. It prevented me from truly moving on. But...I can tell you that I know it's possible. Pieces of me felt gone when Oliver disappeared, but I was still me. I kept living."

She nudged Lyla's shoulder, continuing, "you didn't die with Wes. You kept living, too. And you shouldn't feel guilty for it. You don't deserve that. Even after I lost Oliver, I wanted to make him proud. To prove that I could accomplish all of my dreams, everything he'd always believed I could."

Smiling, Felicity met Lyla's gaze as a tear slipped down the woman's cheek. Her eyes were intent on Felicity. She looked like she was hanging on to every word, as if Felicity's truth could set her free. From the pain. The guilt.

The broken expression on Lyla's face made Felicity's chest feel tight. "If Wes was truly your soulmate, or your parallel, then I'm sure that he would want you to be happy again." 

At the words, more tears fell down Lyla's cheeks, and the woman closed her eyes and let out a breath. Felicity's heart ached with her, the connection nothing compared to Oliver, but there was a bond forming; an understanding between two people on the same wavelength. She'd felt a similar warmth for Caitlin Snow when they'd first met. Comfort. And for Sara and Tatsu when the women had saved her life.

Maybe it was a sense that connected them all.

Felicity squeezed Lyla's hand in solidarity, sitting with her quietly, and Lyla leaned her head on Felicity's shoulder.

Before they could get around to that whole coffee run idea, Oliver came out of the room, heading towards Dig's door but stalling when he noticed them at the table. His eyebrows pushed together, his body stiffening as he took Felicity in, his eyes drifting to hers. She shook her head slightly, assuring him that she was okay. 

Lyla pulled back when she saw Oliver, standing up from the table and wiping any remnants of tears from her cheeks. "You guys ready to get going?" She asked.

Felicity stood too, nodding. She gestured her head to Oliver, "why don't you grab Dig? We'll load up the cars."

"Sure," Oliver smiled, his eyes lingering on Lyla in concern for a moment.

"I'm okay," the woman breathed, an awkward smile on her face, making it clear that she wasn't used to people worrying about her. Or maybe it just wasn't often that she allowed anyone a reason to. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I wanted to give a heads up that I'm going to take a little break from this fic, just a week or two. I have some other things I want to finish up, and maybe even try to get the next few chapters of this one done before I start posting again! I'd say we're about halfway through, if my calculations are correct ;) and this seems like a good place to step back for a hot second, because this little gang will be in Starling next chapter and there's a lot that's going to change!   
> Thank you all for the response, it's so awesome to see your reactions to this crazy ride they're on!
> 
> Please let me know what you think!!


	16. The Reuniting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My little hiatus was longer than I anticipated, and I'm so sorry for that! But I'm back with weekly updates on Sundays! Thank you everyone for sticking with the story and continuing to comment. It means a lot to me <3  
> Oliver and Felicity are finally home; their first hurdle is tricking detective Lance into buying their amnesia story;)  
> I hope you enjoy the chapter, please let me know what you think!!

Quentin Lance was much more intimidating than Felicity expected. She certainly wasn't anticipating the chip he seemed to carry on his shoulder for Oliver. The detective wasn't going easy on her at all, interrogating her more like she was a criminal rather than a woman who had found herself in a strange, coincidental situation. Lance's eyes were narrow and judgmental, looking at her throughout his line of questioning as if she'd done something wrong.

Which, to be fair, was closer to the truth than the story they were selling.

But they had to start somewhere. And walking into the Starling police station with a memory-less Oliver Queen seemed like the logical thing to do in her imaginary predicament.

"When did you say you realized that Mr. Queen was in fact, Mr Queen?" Detective Lance asked again, tapping his pen against his notepad and narrowing his eyes at Felicity. Again.

She had to fight against her own eyeballs to keep them from rolling. "As I said before, he was in a coffee shop that I happened to stop in during my trip to Coast City. I thought he looked familiar, but I couldn't put my finger on it at first. Finally, I decided I'd ask him about hiking trails in the area, see if I could remember where I'd seen him before. He said his name was Josh Baron and he invited me to sit down. As we got to talking, I realized that he looked a frack of a lot like Oliver Queen."

"And then what happened?" Lance asked, making a face, "just to jog my memory here. Make sure I have all the details right."

Felicity sighed, repeating her story yet again. Each time, she kept it precise and consistent, but changed her wording a little bit. Oliver had already coached her on being interrogated by the police. Short and sweet and don't make it seem like you're reciting a script.

"As we talked, I just kept telling myself that it must be one of those eerie look-alike things, you know? Like, one of those viral posts you see on the internet where they find two people that look nearly identical yet they have no relation? Or, I wondered if maybe Oliver Queen had a long-lost twin out there. I mean, I've met his mother, I can't say I wouldn't be surprised if that woman had a skeleton like that in her closet," Felicity swallowed. Okay, so she wasn't great at the short and sweet thing. "Anyway, I showed him some photos from before the Queen's Gambit went down. But then it got really weird. 'Josh' said that he was a patient at Oceanside Memory Care because he couldn't remember his life prior to five years ago..."

Quentin Lance leaned back in his chair, analyzing her. "So, you realized that it couldn't be a coincidence. Running into a man who'd lost his memory and wound up across the country the same year the Queen boat went missing?"

"Well, even as crazy as it is, it made more sense than my secret identical twin idea."

"And this was all just...an incredibly lucky coincidence that you noticed him at this coffee place? That you have a connection to the Queen family?"

Felicity raised her eyebrows, giving a nonchalant shrug. "I wouldn't call it a connection. Moira and Thea probably wouldn't even remember my face. I only ever saw them in passing when I worked at QC. And yes, it's a bizarre coincidence, I know. I was not really one to keep up with the news or the status of lost rich boys. If I hadn't moved to Starling and worked for his family four years ago, I never would have recognized him. Like I said, _crazy_. But lucky coincidence works too, I suppose."

"What did Mr. Queen tell you about himself?"

"Just that he lived on the streets for a while until someone helped him. He said that five years ago, he found himself on a beach early one morning, and he had no idea how he'd gotten there or who he even was." She shook her head sadly, "I can't even imagine how terrified he must have felt."

"Who helped him?"

She shrugged, "he said a man named Damien Darhk." Rule number one of crazy plans. Always blame the dead when lying. Lance would surely look into Darhk, and find plenty of suspicious activity, which would add truth to their story. A criminal wouldn't file a missing persons report on Oliver. Wouldn't bring him to a hospital. A criminal might take him in and keep him hidden, though. And with the secrets Darhk had buried, Felicity knew it was all plausible.

"You believe Queen's story?"

Cocking her head to the side, Felicity pretended to consider the question. Then she nodded, "I do. I don't think anyone would choose to be away from their family. Oliver just...didn't have a choice. It was out of his control." Her eyes snapped back up to the officer, "because he couldn't remember, he didn't know they existed."

The rest of her interview went much the same, to the point where she was wondering if Detective Lance was trying to annoy her to death. He questioned her for over an hour. Then it was another two hours before they let Oliver go, and Felicity sat patiently to wait, gripping her clammy hands together in her lap.

When he finally came out into the precinct, she stood up, crossing her arms to stop herself from reaching for him. As far as the suspicious, police officer eyes on them were concerned, they'd only just met. "Hey," she smiled at him as he approached, "how'd it go?"

"Detective Lance is calling my family now," he grit his teeth, and she cringed. 

Coming to the police made more sense than knocking on the door of the Queen mansion out of the blue, considering Oliver supposedly didn't remember his mom or sister. Taking their story to the police would be what responsible, confused, innocent people might do. Not that there was very much research she could reference about sons lost at sea suddenly returning home with amnesia after meeting a very strange woman who happened to recognize him. Felicity had checked.

"I'm glad you're here," Oliver sighed, playing with his own fingers.

"At least that part's over with," Felicity offered, putting on a smile that she hoped didn't look as exhausted as she felt.

"Not quite through the worst yet, honey," he whispered, low enough for just her ears.

And she bit her lip, shaking her head. "Always the pessimist to my optimist," she chided back.

"Mr. Queen?" Lance poked his head out of his office. "Your mother will be here in ten minutes. She's quite skeptical, but she said she'd come see for herself. I guess we'll have to go from there, decide how you all want to do this."

Felicity's eyebrows furrowed, "what do you mean by _this_?" She asked, clearing her throat when she sounded more concerned than she should be.

"Oh you know," Lance shrugged, not bothering to get up from his desk as they spoke through the door. "Whether or not he goes home with the Queens or we check him into a psych ward." He leaned back in his chair, picking up the phone from his desk and dialing a number. "I'll have a shit storm to deal with when the press gets a hold of the story either way."

"I'll stay with Felicity," Oliver answered while Felicity nodded in agreement. "She's the only one I know here."

Detective Lance just shrugged, "suit yourself," he said before making his call.

Oliver turned back to her. "I should have prepared you better for my mom," his eyes widened. "I...can't imagine she's going to be very calm about all of this." He frowned, "knowing her, she'll probably take most of it out on you."

"Trust me," Felicity raised an eyebrow, "I remember how she was when you and Tommy were getting into trouble as kids. I'm already prepared for the whole thing to somehow be _my_ fault. Since, if I remember correctly, it's _never_ yours."

Pursing his lips to keep a smile at bay, Oliver nodded. "That sounds about right."

They sat side by side while they waited for his mother, and Felicity hated that she couldn't reach out to hold his hand. Oliver's knee bounced with his anxiety. He was finally going to see his mother again after five years. Soon, the whole city would know he was alive. He was about to come back to life. And it was already too late to back out. They were really doing this.

As the minutes ticked by, Felicity closed her eyes, imagining herself running her fingers across Oliver's forearm, feeling the warm pulse of his skin, the gentle scatter of faded wounds she knew by heart now. In her mind, imagining it was as good as actually doing it. And when Oliver let out a groan under his breath, she knew that he could feel it anyway.

"Oliver,"

Felicity's eyes snapped open at the sound of Moira's voice. It was familiar, but a distant memory. She could feel Oliver's nerves trembling through his body, and she did her best to steady him, calm him.

With tears in her eyes, the woman approached them, looking exactly as she did four years ago. And exactly as she did when Felicity had been young, seeing her through Oliver's eyes.

Moira Queen had always been beautiful. Effortlessly graceful and poised without a hair ever in a wrong place. It was something Felicity had once admired. The elegance. But as she'd grown older, Felicity had seen the cold air surrounding the woman. And she'd understood why Oliver liked to escape; to close his eyes and visit with her in Nevada, why he'd always respected Donna and envied their closeness.

His mother was a lot of things. But warm and affectionate were not on that list.

"Hello," Oliver greeted her, throwing all of his walls up high, his back stiffening as he stood. Felicity followed suit. "You must be Moira..." His voice wavered, looking down at his mother for the first time in so long, seeing the tears in her eyes.

Even if the woman was terrifying, no one could deny that she loved her son. Fiercely. 

This was a bad plan. How was Oliver supposed to pull this off? Having his family right in front of him and pretending he didn't even know them. Why did they even think for one second that they could do this?

"My sweet boy..." Moira whispered, her shaking hands coming up to cup his face.

Oliver's eyes closed, leaning into her palm for a brief moment. Just as quickly, he caught himself, leaning away from her touch. His hands rose to gently pull his mother's away. "I understand that this is confusing for all of us," he spoke lowly, keeping his eyes on Moira. "And I hope you understand that I'm not the same person you remember."

He chose his words carefully, letting them sink in. Moira blinked, "we just need to get you home," she nodded once, steeling herself. "You need to see your sister. Get settled. Be in the place where you grew up. Then things will go back to normal."

Felicity's eyes shifted to Oliver as he gaped at his mom; torn because he wanted to make her happy. He didn't want to cause her more pain. So, Felicity stepped closer, pushing her shoulders back as she prepared to be the bad guy. "Mrs. Queen? Hi," she smiled. "I don't know if you remember me. I used to work for Queen Consolidated, years ago...I'm the one who discovered Oliver was in Coast City. Felicity Smoak."

"Yes, yes," she smiled politely. "Thank you for convincing him to come back, Miss Smoak."

"Of course," Felicity nodded. "I don't want to overstep, ma'am, but um, Oliver and I have gotten quite close since we met. And...he seems pretty overwhelmed by all of this. I think it might be best for him if he takes it one step at a time."

Moira's sharp eyes took her in, more alert now. "And what makes you think you know what's best for my son?"

Felicity inhaled, planting her feet for battle. "I'm not saying that...but he's telling you that he's different now. He needs time to process."

"He can process from home, where he's safe. I appreciate what you've done and I'm glad that he's had someone to look out for him. I can't thank you enough for bringing Oliver home, miss Smoak. But I'm afraid that your opinion on the subject is very much _overstepping_."

"I'm staying with Felicity," Oliver blurted, leaning between them like he was afraid the claws might come out.

Moira hesitated, her hands reaching out to touch his arms. "Oliver, you can't just shack up with a stranger. Please, I know you're confused. But the safest place for you is _home_."

"With all due respect," Oliver answered slowly, "she's the only safety that I know for certain right now. I trust her...and as my mother, I assume you would respect my wishes." A long silence passed between them. Oliver nodded, his jaw clenching, knowing she couldn't argue with that. "I'll be staying with Felicity. But...I-I want to remember."

In her mind, Felicity soothed Oliver, calming him down under the pressure of his mom's suspicious gaze. Finally, the woman sighed, her hands sliding down Oliver's arms until she held his hands. "Okay," she whispered, gripping his fingers tightly. "Okay, darling. Whatever you need. Just please...tell me when I can see you."

They settled for dinner that night. At the Queen mansion. With his family. Sharing a meal while he acted as if he didn't know them or his home.

The plan seemed more insane by the minute.

When Moira finally released her grip on him, Oliver offered his phone number and took hers as well. He even pretended he needed the address to the mansion, doing a much better job with the charade than Felicity, who was kind of freaking out about why they ever thought this could work. It was like Oliver could feel her beginning to panic, and he stepped up for both of them.

"We'll see you at seven," Oliver smiled at his mother. A stiff smile. Guarded.

Moira lifted her chin, "oh...will you be bringing a guest? I thought it could just be some time for you to talk with me and Thea." She was trying to weasel out of inviting Felicity to come, but Oliver insisted, as politely as he could.

And then they finally got to return to her apartment for a few hours before the next charade.

They were both exhausted, but Felicity felt relieved as they drove to her loft, finally just the two of them again where they could relax. Be themselves.

Reaching her place, Felicity walked through the lobby and into the elevator with her hand in Oliver's, her feet shuffling. Once she unlocked the door and ushered him in, Oliver's eyes roamed over the area, taking it all in. And she remembered that he'd never known her apartment. Much like the safe house was for him, her apartment in Starling was a place that she existed  _without_ him.

But they'd made the safe house theirs just like they'd made their homes as kids their own.

Closing the door, Felicity watched as Oliver peeked around. Most of the loft was visible from the front door, and Oliver turned back to smile at her, "it's very you," he whispered, putting his hands in his pockets.

As he stepped away, continuing his own little tour, Felicity sighed and moved to the kitchen. She busied herself with making them some tea, knowing that they still had a few hours before dinner with his family. "We should give John and Lyla a call," she said, turning with the steaming mugs in hand. 

Felicity frowned, seeing that Oliver had disappeared. The loft was big, but it wasn't like he had many places to hide. She glanced towards the balcony as she walked up the stairs, seeing it empty. 

"Hey," Felicity smiled when she reached her bedroom, finding Oliver already in her bed. He'd taken his shoes and socks off, leaving them in front of the closet just like she'd always done growing up.

Still grinning, Felicity set the mugs on the nightstand beside him. His nightstand. On his side of the bed. Because it was absolutely his now. She was his, her home was his. Everything was _all_ _his_.

"C'mere," Oliver reached for her, his fingers touching her cheeks as she bent down to kiss him. She smiled into the kiss, leaning into his hands. 

Gracefully, Oliver pulled her down to the bed, moving her over his body until she was on her back and he was settling his weight on top of her. She sighed, nipping at his lips while her arms wound around his neck.

Eventually, they got around to calling John and Lyla, filling them in on everything from the precinct; from Quentin Lance's interrogations to their conversation with Moira.

Once they had the whole team on the same page, Oliver fell into Felicity's arms, his body slumping over hers, pressing just enough of his weight on top of her. His head dropped to her chest, his forehead nestling into her while his lips trailed kisses over the tops of her breasts, and Felicity closed her eyes with a soft sigh.

Wiggling underneath him, she tossed her phone onto the nightstand next to their half empty, cold tea. Her arms wrapped around his waist, a heavy, exhausted sound escaping him that matched her own. She nestled her face into his hair. 

And that was exactly how they fell asleep.

They both needed the rest, if they were expected to endure Moira Queen again later that night. Or the police's follow-up questions that they would definitely have. Or as Lance had put it, the shit storm of the press...as soon as Oliver's not-so-dead status became public knowledge.

It was going to be a long road ahead of them. 

* * *

"Shit," Oliver hissed, picking his head up from her chest and nudging Felicity awake from her sleep stupor. "Come on, time to get up." 

She groaned, pressing her nose into his cheek, their bodies in the exact spots they'd fallen asleep in. Felicity tightened her fingers on his skin to stop him from moving. "Oliverrrrr, noooo," she groaned, "don't want to."

Despite her protests, Oliver slipped out from her grasp, leaving her to curl up in the sheets where he'd just been. It wasn't as good as his body heat, but she pulled her comforter up above her head, cocooning herself in the remaining warmth. And she sighed, burrowing into the pillows that smelled like his hair. Oliver's hands pushed into the blanket, picking her out of them.

"Hey!" Felicity yelped as the cold air touched her skin, her eyes flying open. Oliver plucked her right off the bed like she weighed nothing, setting her on her feet and holding her steady. She frowned at him, her eyes narrowing. "Rude,"

To that, Oliver's eyes softened in apology, but his lips fought a smile. He ran a hand over her hair that was surely a mess from their nap. "We have to be at my mom's in an hour."

"What!?" She wailed, panic setting in and waking her right up. "Oh, god, I haven't even thought about what to wear."

Nodding calmly, Oliver let her go, and Felicity stretched, watching him while he stepped towards her closet.

Kicking his shoes aside, he opened the door, humming when his fingers grazed one of her dresses. The red one with the zipper.

Of course he noticed that one first.

Felicity watched him curiously as he perused her wardrobe. She'd mostly been living in leggings and sweatshirts since they saved him. He'd seen her dressed up, of course, but not the way she dressed up now. Her daily style choices now reflected the successful businesswoman that she was. And it was surprisingly pleasing to see Oliver inspect her closet's collection as if he was picturing her in each outfit.

If he had just grabbed the first thing he saw, she might've rolled her eyes and discredited his opinion.

But after careful consideration, Oliver pulled out one of her favorites; a simple, sleeveless black dress that covered her chest and fell passed her knees. It hugged her curves but was modest enough for something like a dinner with her soulmate's family. And she loved the detailed pattern that ran across the shoulders and skirt, adding some color.

"Perfect," Felicity whispered, sucking her bottom lip into her mouth and taking the dress from his hands.

Oliver smiled, clearly pleased with himself. "Just give me a few minutes," she said, returning the smile as she headed into the bathroom to get changed. After washing her face, running a brush through her hair and tying it into a neat ponytail, Felicity pulled the dress on and spared a few minutes for makeup needs.

When she came out again, Oliver had gotten their bags from the car, unpacked them neatly on the floor, and dressed himself in a button down shirt with dark jeans. She cocked her head to the side, "you clean up nice."

Standing up from the bed, which he'd also made, Oliver opened his mouth to respond, and then closed it. He raised his eyebrows, looking her up and down. She glanced down at herself, her hands smoothing over the dress, "is it okay?" Felicity asked, fidgeting with her ponytail as he stared. "I didn't really have time to do my hair—"

"No," Oliver interrupted, shaking his head. "You look amazing."

"Thank you," she breathed, her heart skipping a beat when she stopped and noticed the look in his eyes.

Any more of _that_ , and they wouldn't be making it to the mansion at all.

Felicity cleared her throat, "you ready?"

"Yeah," he nodded, "after you."

Oliver waited while she found the right shoes to wear, then he followed her out of the loft, taking her hand in the elevator. He didn't speak again until he sat behind the wheel, sucking in a deep breath, preparing himself. And Felicity stayed quiet, supporting him with more than words, understanding that he needed it.

"You know," Oliver spoke lowly as he drove, his thumb drawing patterns on the palm of her hand. "Growing up, there were a lot of moments where Thea would remind me so much of you. Most of the time when I screwed up, both of you would have the exact same reaction, almost down to the wording in your lectures," he laughed quietly, shaking his head while his eyes remained on the road. "I always thought the two of you would get along well."

Felicity watched him, scrunching up her nose, "really? Even though she was a total thorn in your side all through high school?"

Oliver chuckled, "I think the reason she irritated me so much was because she was too damn clever. Not unlike someone else I knew," he glanced at her, narrowing his eyes playfully. "I couldn't get anything by Thea. She was the smart one, always looking out for me, while I was the screw up."

"Well...you _did_ have a lot going on," Felicity defended him. "Most boys your age didn't have a crazy soulmate connection in their heads with some girl across the country."

He hummed, shaking his head fondly. "I learned pretty quick how lucky I was to have you, Felicity. I'm sure my mistakes would be a lot worse if you weren't a part of my life. I felt the same way about my sister, too. Even if she had an irritating habit of being right all the time."

"Ah," Felicity nodded in understanding, remembering a few of the times he'd vented to her about it. "Well, I'm always right, too, so..."

Oliver laughed again, and Felicity squeezed his hand, happy to hear it. "Except when it was _you_ telling me to stop going along with Tommy's schemes, I actually listened. Thea, I would just ignore until she ratted me out to mom."

"Sometimes," Felicity rolled her eyes, " _sometimes_ you listened."

"No," he whispered back, sparing her a glance. "I always listened to you. Sometimes it just took a little longer to sink in...Tommy can be very persuasive." She laughed, remembering that much to be true. "I mean, how could I turn down the idea of throwing toilet paper on our geometry teacher's house after he flunked me?" Oliver winked.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Felicity mumbled, letting go of his hand so she could reach over and cup his cheek. "Lie to your family? Seeing your sister again like this..."

"You'll be with me," Oliver sighed. "They'll be safer not knowing. Starling will be safer this way. We just have to remember that."

"It'll be easier after tonight," Felicity whispered back, willing it to be true, for his sake.

She knew that he'd kept himself away from her for so long in order to protect her from H.I.V.E. In his mind, that decision was probably quite simple. It had worked for five years, after all. But as far as hiding from his family went, she had a feeling that the choice hadn't been so cut and dry for Oliver to make.

Ironically, he was almost as much of a stranger to them as he was pretending to be.

When they finally arrived at the mansion, the gates opened and they were greeted at the front door by a handful of security guards. The men didn't speak as Oliver and Felicity got out of the car, just watching them carefully and offering small nods of acknowledgement while they made their way to the door.

"My mom has upped the guns around here," Oliver mumbled, his voice low by Felicity's ear, his hand smoothing over the small of her back.

"That's a good thing, right?" Felicity whispered back.

"Oh, yes," Oliver nodded, his eyebrows furrowing. "My mother has always been one to be prepared for anything. I'm just not sure what she's preparing for."

Taking her first steps into the Queen mansion felt surreal.

There was a sense of nostalgia in the gorgeous, ivy covered stone. But it was a place she'd only seen through Oliver's eyes, and even though she knew the entire home by heart because Oliver did, it felt different being there physically.

Like deja-vu or a distant dream she couldn't quite put her finger on.

The home was as luxurious and impressive as she remembered. But the way that Oliver felt about it had always disenchanted her from the charm of the spacious rooms, the dark mahogany wood that ran throughout, and the beautiful rugs and paintings that decorated each space, shipped from all around the world.

The mansion had always felt cold to her soulmate, more like a museum than a home. He'd never seen it as a place for him to be a kid, to make messes. Which was why her home, with all of its dents, stains, and mistakes, had been so foreign to him. Finally walking into the Queen home all those years later, Felicity felt exactly the same way about it. She understood why Oliver preferred Nevada; her small, cozy little house over his family's mansion in Starling.

It looked like a castle. Yet it felt like entering a lion's den.


	17. The Bonding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note the different rating and tags on this fic! I intended to keep the smut contained to chapter 12, and worked it in a way so that it could be skipped without missing any of the plot. But this thing is very much a work in progress, and plans change.  
> I apologize if this changes anyone's mind about the story, my muse insisted that these two have more sex.

Moira Queen was more than just an intense, intimidating woman. She was downright scary. And even when her eyes weren't _on_ Felicity, there was a feeling as if they were. Watching her every move with eyes in the back of her head.

By the time the woman finished giving them a short tour of the first floor, ending right back at the front door, Felicity found herself selfishly wishing she could walk right back out of the mansion and go home. 

But of course, Oliver could sense what she was thinking, her wish to escape...and his hand slipped around her back. Oliver's fingers dug in as if to say 'not a chance in hell you're leaving me alone.'

So, they trailed behind his mother, and Felicity straightened her shoulders, leaning towards him, "you okay?" she asked, mustering up whatever strength she could for him.

Oliver nodded, rubbing his hand down her spine. "You?"

"Of course," she whispered. "Your mother hasn't tried to murder me yet, so I'd say we're doing okay."

As they slowly walked passed the massive stairwell, leading to places in the home that Felicity got the sense she wasn't welcome to, footsteps sounded above their heads.

"Ollie!"

Felicity turned her head up at the voice, as did Oliver, and they each watched as Thea leaned over the railing. She was older than Felicity remembered, nearly unrecognizable thanks to puberty and the years they'd missed. Thea had only been eleven when the Queen's Gambit went down. The grinning teenager with long, brown wavy hair above them looked so different. 

It warmed Felicity's heart, so she knew that for Oliver, the feeling in that moment was ten times stronger.

"I can't believe it's really you," she breathed while Oliver stood stiff, his face a careful picture of vague interest. Underneath it though, Felicity could only feel pure _joy_ inside of him. And it gave her a sudden rush of anger and sadness to know that he had to hide it. To pretend.

Thea came bounding down the stairs, just as elegant and graceful as her mother, and threw herself right into Oliver's arms.

Although he hesitated for a moment, he hugged her back, both arms winding around his sister's waist. And when Thea laughed, the sound relieved and contagious, Oliver couldn't stop the smile that overtook his face even if he'd wanted to.

The sight of them brought tears to Felicity's eyes, both happy and aching. On one hand, the reunion was everything Oliver deserved, but on the other, it was tainted. She knew how much Thea loved her brother, and how much Oliver loved her right back. And this...what they had to do, was going to hurt both of the Queen siblings.

"Be gentle with him, dear," Moira finally interrupted the hug, and Oliver set Thea back on her feet. He pushed down his happiness, the smile falling from his lips as he looked back at his mother.

"Sorry, I forgot." Thea looked a little embarrassed, "mom said you don't remember...well, anything. I don't mean to freak you out, just got a little too excited," the girl laughed, biting her lip. "I can't tell you how amazing it is to see you, Ollie."

Felicity could. She'd felt everything she saw in Thea; the excitement, fear, confusion, glee, right down to the adoring glint in her eyes when she looked at Oliver. 

"You didn't freak me out," Oliver smiled back, so much softer for his sister than he'd been for his mom. He still played his part well, closed off and a little stiff, but when he looked at Thea, there was so much warmth. Like an instinct to comfort his baby sister. Protect her. "It's been a while since I got a hug like that, so thanks." He winked and Thea laughed, a natural, necessary moment passing between them.

By the expression on Moira's face, the woman could see the difference in Oliver's disposition. How it softened for Thea, when her reunion hadn't been quite the same. "Well, shall we?" She plastered a polite smile on her face, gesturing to the set table.

And just like that, Felicity sobered along with Oliver and Thea, as if they all knew how uncomfortable this was about to get. Felicity felt like sharing a meal would be a nightmare. Oliver was dreading the questions that were sure to come with it. And she could only guess that Thea wasn't looking forward to being in the middle of all of it.

As they took their seats, a woman came in from the kitchen carrying a plate of chicken and steaming vegetables, and Felicity recognized her instantly as Raisa. Although she'd never had the pleasure of meeting the woman, she knew that Raisa had been one of Oliver's favorite people growing up. And she had to school her own expression from reacting, placing her hand on Oliver's knee to be sure he did the same.

Setting the dish down at the center of the table, Raisa looked up at Oliver, smiling and nodding with kindness in her eyes. "Hello, Mr. Queen," she greeted in her thick Russian accent.

Taking in a breath, Oliver lifted his chin, "hello," he whispered back. And Felicity knew that her hand on his leg was the only thing stopping him from getting up and giving Raisa a hug. She squeezed her fingers, letting him know that everything was okay.

Just like she'd come, Raisa smiled at each of them, and then she backed up towards the door, heading into the kitchen without another word.

As dinner was served and their glasses filled with wine, all four of them sat quietly, sharing some slightly uncomfortable glances around the table. No one seemed to really know what to say, yet it definitely wasn't a shock that Felicity had to be the one to break the tension, the silence unbearable. "This looks wonderful, Mrs. Queen," she blurted, putting on a smile.

The woman across from her returned it, but it hardly reached her eyes. She picked up her fork, waving it over the chicken, "I'll let Raisa know you think so..."  

Felicity bit her lip, biting the urge to give Moira a sassy comment back. Would saying 'thank you' really have been that hard? Still, Felicity cleared her throat. "You have a beautiful home," she tried again, "makes me wish I could've made it to the Christmas party that year I worked at QC. Except I'm Jewish. Not that the party offended me! That wasn't the reason I didn't go. I was just busy that night. I don't hate Christmas. I'm not Scrooge," Oliver's hand found hers, his palm sliding over the back of her hand, and she closed her mouth.

At her babble, Moira and Thea stared, each of their eyes taking her in as if she was a unicorn or something. Oliver held tighter, his fingers pushing between hers. "Felicity tells me that you own an incredibly successful business here in Starling," he offered, smiling kindly at his mother. "You must be proud."

Moira nodded, glancing between Oliver and Felicity. "Yes, well, it wasn't a one woman effort. I had a lot of help after your father..."

"Died, mom. He died." Thea chimed in, her back stiffening as she looked up, dragging her fork across her plate. 

When Moira flinched at the words, Felicity felt a pang of sympathy; the first dent in the woman's armor she'd ever bared witness to. "Right," Moira whispered, glancing back at Oliver. "After your father died, I was grateful for the help of his team. They aided me in keeping your father's legacy alive."

"She means Walter," Thea stage-whispered, setting her elbows on the table and leaning towards them. Her eyes focused on Oliver, "Mom's been screwing Walter Steele."

Everyone paused. Felicity gripped Oliver's hand harder, her own jaw dropping before she could snap it shut. She knew Walter. He was the only one in upper management who acknowledged her presence, and she was pretty sure he'd been eyeing her for a role in cyber security before she'd quit. As surprised as she was by Thea's bomb, Felicity was even more surprised by Oliver's reaction. His eyes narrowed slightly at his sister, as if he was trying to read her. The look only lasted a moment before he raised his eyebrows, innocently lifting his shoulders.

And Thea's eyes narrowed right back at him. She was testing him. Trying to provoke a response. The fact that Oliver had none only meant one thing...he already knew.

"Actually," Thea cocked her head to the side, "they're married."

"Oh," Felicity blinked, her eyes shifting between the Queen women. Yet Oliver didn't give her an inch. He remained perfectly unfazed. It was obvious what Thea was doing. Their 'here's your son back, but he has amnesia!' story was far-fetched at best. They couldn't blame Thea for trying to test it, to see if she could trigger a reaction. But the scary thing was...why would she think they were lying? Why would she think her brother would do that? And if she was onto them...what were they supposed to do about it?

"All right, Thea," Moira cut the tension in the room, or added to it. "That's enough. Oliver, we want to hear about you. Please, tell us everything," she forced a smile.

As Oliver opened his mouth to speak, the doorbell rang. 

Thea immediately got to her feet, and Moira put her hand over her daughter's. The women shared an intense look, Moira's eyes full of warning and Thea's full of challenge. It reminded Felicity what it was like to be a teenager with only one parent. One mother. And her heart went out for Thea.

The girl had lost her father and brother in one deadly swoop. At such a young age, it must have felt like the worst pain imaginable. Actually, at any age, what Thea went through would probably feel that way.

The girl was clearly still hurting. 

"I'll get it," she mumbled, pulling her hand out of her mom's.

"I said no guests," Mrs. Queen shot back in that tone of hers. "Thea, I've already told you..."

"It's not Roy," Thea rolled her eyes, then she smiled at them as she headed for the door with a mumbled "this'll be fun," on her way out.

Under the table, Felicity smoothed her hand on Oliver's leg again, running her palm up and down his thigh. He was stiff as a board, his muscles tight. Watching Thea and Moira butt heads was uncomfortable for her. But for Oliver, it was torture. It reminded him of all the time he'd missed, all the things that could've been different had he been there. And when Felicity met his eyes, he released a deep, calming breath.

Felicity nodded once, smiling slightly with another silent reminder that she was right there with him. That there was nothing they couldn't handle as long as they did it together. That she was never leaving his side. That he had her heart.

She stared into his eyes for a moment too long, too enraptured at the sight of him hearing every wordless promise she made him. He heard it all, understood it all, and his eyes darkened as he did.

 _Mine_ , she couldn't help but think, feeling his thoughts echo the same.

A moment too long was apparently much more than a moment...

They only looked away from each other when the sound of a throat clearing interrupted them. Felicity's eyes flew to Moira first, who still sat across the table from them, watching with new curiosity.

Behind them, Thea was coming back with a tall, dark haired and blue eyed man on her heels.

"Tommy," the girl chirped happily, tossing her elbow back to the new guest's stomach. "You remember your best friend Ollie. Ollie, you...don't remember Tommy."

Looking shy, Tommy shuffled his feet on the exotic dining room rug. And in return, Oliver stared at him for a moment, doing nothing but blink as he adjusted to the change. He hadn't been expecting to see Tommy Merlyn again. He wasn't prepared for it, not in that moment. Felicity could feel him growing nervous, unsure of himself, and she jumped in to save him before he had to figure it out. "Hi," she offered her hand to Tommy, "I'm Felicity."

Tommy took her hand and shook it, smiling. "Tommy," he answered, "it's nice to meet you."

Unfortunately, it wasn't just a matter of Oliver having to face his best friend again... They had no idea what Tommy knew or how he knew it. He'd somehow tracked them to Gotham and uncovered the explosion at H.I.V.E's base; the one _they'd_ blown up on the night they rescued Oliver. And Felicity had enough context to know that Gotham wasn't the only time Tommy Merlyn managed to pop up someplace Oliver had been.

She also hadn't had the time to look into that yet. Tommy was a problem for tomorrow. Later. After they dealt with the Starling Police Department and Oliver's family. 

But their 'tomorrow problem' was there, and dinner became a whole lot more interesting.

"Thea," Moira said sternly, not taking her eyes off of Felicity. "I told you not to invite anyone over."

"Technically," Thea dragged the word out, "you said not to invite Roy. You also said it was a family dinner. Tommy meets both requirements," she explained as she set a place for him, right at the head of the table, in the middle. "Not Roy," Thea counted off on her finger, "and he's family."

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Queen," Tommy mumbled, grabbing at the back of his neck as he hesitated awkwardly in the doorway. "Thea told me Oliver was back and told me the situation...she said you all wanted me to come..." His eyes shifted to the meddling teenager, pinning her with a look while she smiled sheepishly back at him.

With an exasperated sigh, Moira closed her eyes, "I'm sure she did." Then she waved towards the chair Thea had pulled out for him. "Sit, Tommy." When he still stood shuffling his feet, Moira gave him a warm smile. "Come on, you're already here."

As he finally took his seat, Tommy spared Oliver a glance. "Hey," he greeted quietly, his eyes wide. 

In response, Oliver nodded, clearly not pleased with Tommy's presence. Felicity could feel that his guard had gone up, on alert now as if there was a threat. As if Tommy was a threat. But as the two men looked at each other, Felicity sensed that most of the hostility was coming from Oliver.

Granted, she was connected to his emotions and his heart, but when she looked at Tommy, all she saw was awe.

"Oliver, dear," Moira attempted to get his attention, but Felicity had to pinch his leg before he finally tore his eyes away from Tommy. "I know you said you want to stay with Ms. Smoak...but I'm worried that once word gets out about you being here, it won't be safe."

He hesitated, taking his time before he answered. "I think we can handle Starling tabloids."

"The paparazzi are relentless," Moira frowned, "if they get the poor girl's address, they'll never leave her alone. Surely, if you had your memory, you wouldn't be bringing that down on her willingly."

Felicity narrowed her eyes at Moira, hating the feigned innocence in her tone, when her concern was very obviously _not_ for Felicity's well-being. Yet she knew how to use her tricks. _Poor girl_  painted Felicity as a victim in the whole thing, and pinned the blame on Oliver for when it inevitably happened. 

God, if her soulmate really did have amnesia, he might've been easily manipulated by his own mother.

Instead, Oliver just stared at the woman. "We'll be okay," he finally said, his tone and his expression suggesting that the decision was final.

His mother pursed her lips, preparing to argue, but once again...Felicity jumped in. "So, Tommy," she picked up her wine glass and leaned back in her chair, hoping her demeanor was more casual than the entire night had been so far. "What do you do? I've heard plenty of praise from my investors about Merlyn Global. Are you planning on following in your father's footsteps?"

"God no," Tommy scrunched up his nose rudely before thinking better of it. He schooled his expression, "uh, the company isn't really my thing. I'm actually in the process of opening my own business."

Thea scoffed, "if you can call a club with stripper poles attached to the bar counter a _business_."

Beside her, she felt Oliver freeze, just for the briefest, tiniest moment, and then he went back to eating his dinner as if he was simply a passive listener. And across from her, Tommy was watching Oliver. "It's actually something we talked about a few times when we were kids, Oliver..."

Oliver looked up, raising his eyebrows at Tommy. "Stripper poles?"

Tommy laughed, "no, opening a club together."

Since Oliver didn't respond, Felicity nodded. "That's amazing," she smiled at Tommy. "Well, Smoak Tech is working on a new security system if you need me to take a look at your servers,"

"Oh," Tommy chuckled, "that's an incredible offer, Felicity, but I'm afraid I can't afford you," he gave her a wink, "trying to do this thing with as little of dad's money as possible."

"Ah," Felicity grinned.

Tommy frowned, "it's harder than I thought it would be."

While they all laughed at his expense, Thea patting him on the shoulder sympathetically, Moira pinched her lips together.

As they quieted, she leaned towards Oliver. "Listen, honey, I'm not trying to be overbearing here. I just need to make sure you're safe." They all sobered, glancing away as Moira thoroughly ruined any veil of normalcy they'd started. "I hope that you can try to understand...how this all would feel if you were in my shoes."

Oliver nodded, "I can. I do...and I'm sorry for that. But I can't move into this place," he looked up and around the room as if it was foreign to him. And maybe on some levels it was. The mansion hadn't been his home for a very long time. And it wasn't his home now. "Felicity's the person I trust," he spoke lowly, giving her a quick glance. "I want to stay with her. Please try to understand that. My intention is not to offend or hurt you," he nodded to his mom, then met Thea's gaze, too. "Or you."

"Then how about a compromise?" Moira asked after a moment of silence.

_Bingo._

"What kind of compromise?" Oliver asked.

Moira folded her hands on the table in front of her as if they were making a business deal. "A bodyguard," she answered, "that I will choose and I will pay for. Someone who can keep you safe while you're here...while we figure all of this out."

Although he took a moment to consider it, Felicity already knew what his answer would be. They'd been banking on this offer.

"Okay," he finally answered slowly, "I think that's a good compromise." Moira relaxed, smiling in victory. But she celebrated too soon. "One more condition though," Oliver spoke, successfully causing her smile to falter. "If you are truly worried about my safety here, that you feel it necessary to hire protection...then I ask that you please do the same for Ms. Smoak."

They continued to stare across the table, while the rest of the room remained silent and vigilant of the show down.

"All right, I'll happily extend the offer to Ms. Smoak...if _you_ answer one question..." Moira countered. Oliver just nodded, and his mother's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, looking between the two of them again. "Why is she special to you?"

As the question hung in the room, Felicity didn't have time to be offended. Oliver's swell of emotions was enough. His back stiffened, his instincts kicking in, his protective side buzzing to life. "Excuse me?"

"Just the way you look at her..." Moira mumbled, perplexed. She shook her head, and Felicity couldn't help the mean thought that crossed her mind. _If what Oliver had always told her about his parents' relationship was true...then it wasn't shocking that the woman wouldn't have a clue about a love like what she and Oliver had._

The silence that passed was beyond awkward. But when Oliver finally spoke, Felicity knew that his words were intended for his mother, sister, and his best friend. And they were all listening.

"After everything I've learned and everything I've been through, Felicity is the only person who is just here _for me_ , okay? I trust her more than anyone, and if any of you care to be in my life, then...this is where I'm at. She's here." He lifted his hand, briefly brushing his thumb across her cheek, offering her the sweetest smile that went right to her heart. As did his words. And the fact that he confessed them to some of the most important people in his life.

It wasn't the best idea in terms of their lie, to declare his package deal with Felicity, who was practically a stranger to him as far as anyone needed to know. But they _were_ a package deal. It was non-negotiable. The rest they'd just have to figure out.

As Felicity and Oliver glanced back at his family, they were met with wide, blank stares. 

"Wow," Thea breathed, and Tommy nodded along as if the word explained everything.

Oliver frowned, "what?"

"We've never heard you talk about a girl like that," his sister shrugged, "that's all." Oliver didn't reply, biting his bottom lip as the room fell into yet another awkward silence. "Well," Thea whispered, her eyes trained on her brother. "It's nice to see that while we were suffering and thinking you were dead, you were living in blissful ignorance away from here." Her hurt eyes flickered to Felicity, "at least someone in this family ended up happy."

"Thea Dearden—" Moira tried, but the young girl brushed her hand off, getting up from the table and stomping out of the room without another word.

Felicity looked up at Oliver, coming to a silent agreement the moment their eyes met. There was so much to fix here. So many old wounds that they'd ripped open and made bigger by coming back to Starling. And they had to help Thea. 

As Oliver moved to stand up, intent on talking to his sister although it was clear that he still didn't know what he'd say, Tommy laid a hand on his shoulder. "I've got it," his friend said, nodding to Moira quickly before chasing after Thea.

Alone with the Queen matriarch again, Felicity saw how exhausted the woman truly was. Between a multi-million empire and a rebellious teenager, Moira definitely had her hands full.

"We should get going," Oliver said slowly. "I can call tomorrow. Thank you for having us."

"I'm sorry," Moira whispered around a long sigh. "I guess I shouldn't have expected this to go any differently."

Oliver shook his head, "you don't need to apologize..." he spoke gently to his mother. 

Her eyes softened, giving her son a weak smile. And Felicity squeezed Oliver's hand, "I'll give you two a minute." She stood up, pointing down the hall, "bathroom?" 

"Third door on the left, dear," Moira nodded, her eyes silently thanking her. She'd been attached to Oliver's hip all night, and it was clear that Moira appreciated the moment alone with him.

She walked slowly down the hall, taking in the paintings on the wall that were probably worth more than her loft. It made her wonder what she would do; if Smoak Tech ever reached the level of success Queen Consolidated had managed. Would she buy a mansion and fill it with beautiful works of art from around the world? 

Felicity took her time, giving Oliver and Moira plenty of time.

The bathroom was huge, and Felicity didn't have a problem poking through the cabinets while she was in there. But it was clearly a guest bathroom, one that was frequently used by guests at parties, so she wasn't surprised when she didn't find anything interesting.

Just as Felicity was about to leave, flicking the light off, she noticed movement outside. Her eyes snapped to the window, her heart pounding in her chest.

In the trees at the edge of the backyard, a man in a hood caught her attention.

He didn't move, the hood covering his face and his hands in his pockets.

In the dark bathroom, Felicity stepped closer to the window, hoping he couldn't see her since the light was off, trying to get a better look. Fear made her hands shake, her mind racing with possibilities.

What if H.I.V.E. already knew they were in town? What if they'd sent someone to kill them? To kill Moira and Thea?

She had to find Oliver. She had to tell him. But she was afraid that if she moved, if she blinked, then the man would disappear. 

At a loss, Felicity stood staring at the man, and he stood with his shadowed face angled towards the house. Almost like he was waiting...

The moment the thought crossed her mind, Felicity heard a door open, and she finally peeled her eyes away from the man. The back door slammed shut as Thea bolted out of it, running barefoot through the lawn with her shoes in one hand. And Felicity gasped, watching the girl with her wild brown hair run straight towards the danger.

At first, she didn't think Thea saw the man, and she panicked, imaging what could happen. But before Felicity could yell to her or yell for help, Thea was launching herself right into the stranger's arms.

Felicity froze, staring through the window while the man caught Thea, spinning her around, and their laughter carried to the house. The red hoodie fell from his head, pushed back by Thea as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

And then she was kissing him, and Felicity realized that he wasn't a ghost from H.I.V.E. at all. He wasn't a threat. He was barely even a man...just a boy.

"Okay," Felicity whispered to herself, putting the pieces together. She let out a breathy laugh, placing a hand over her heart as she tried to calm it down. "You must be the deplorable boyfriend..." 

As Thea, and who she now assumed was Roy, took off from the backyard, Felicity shook her head, reminded of all the secrets she and Oliver had kept at their age. The smile on Thea's face was wide and genuine. She loved the boy...despite her mother's disapproval. And it struck a romantic, nostalgic cord.

And then Felicity went back to Moira and Oliver, keeping her lips sealed.

* * *

By the time she finished hacking, Felicity's back was stiff and her eyes felt dry. But she was done. And as she came out of her hacker-goddess mode, she could hear the shower running behind the cracked bathroom door. Steam poured out into the bedroom, letting her know how long he'd been in there.

Felicity stood and stretched, glancing at the clock. It had taken her a couple of hours to finish, but she didn't mind because she expected it to take longer. Private protective services had to hire out to keep their client information safe, which meant it was a taller, harder wall to climb. But she'd done it.

Walking across the carpet, Felicity stripped her clothes off, quietly entering the bathroom and catching sight of Oliver behind the foggy glass doors of the shower. His head tilted towards her, letting her know he heard her, but he didn't turn around, keeping the hot water on his chest.

Felicity opened the door and stepped into the shower. "Hey," she ran her hand down his back, feeling him push into her touch. She leaned forward, pressing light kisses on his back.

Oliver dropped his head forward into the stream of water, groaning as her hands roamed over his back.

When he finally turned to face her, Felicity pouted up at him. "You should have interrupted me for this."

"Mm, for what, baby?" Oliver asked, wrapping his arms around her. "A shower?" He turned her so the hot water fell over her head. Oliver gently pushed her hair back with care, letting the water cover the locks of blonde while he leaned down to kiss her cheek.

She smiled, sliding her hands up his arms, "yes. Haven't you heard that it's rude to shower without at least offering your girlfriend an invitation?"

Chuckling, Oliver's lips brushed over her cheek again, up to her temple, while his arms tightened around her, bending down to hold her tiny frame. "How did it go?" He asked in her ear, "phase two complete?"

"Well," she pressed her forehead into his kiss, "you did say your mother likes to keep her circle small. You were right; she still uses the same agency she did five years ago."

"As expected," he shrugged, his hands lazily running down her back, his large palms covering her skin, fingers dragging down her spine. "Did it work?"

Her eyes closed on instinct, a soft groan escaping her lips. It took her a moment for her brain to register his question. "Of course," she answered, "John Diggle and Lyla Michaels are officially the most respected, skilled, and trusted bodyguards of Armor Industries. They're the obvious choices. Moira would be a fool not to pick them to be our bodyguards."

His head dropped to her shoulder, planting open-mouthed kisses across her wet skin. "Well, my mother is certainly no fool. And it looked to me like she was warming up to you, if I'm not mistaken." 

Felicity snorted, "I'm surprised she actually agreed to hire protection for the absolute weirdo you're insisting on keeping yourself glued to."

"Mm," Oliver hummed, his teeth nipping playfully at the soft spot under her ear. He'd discovered it a long time ago, but it only tickled _even more_ now that he could bite at it in person. Felicity giggled, sliding her hand through his hair and digging her fingers in. "I love being glued to you," he drawled, his grip tightening, plastering her chest to his as if to prove his point.

"Good thing I'm not going anywhere," she breathed back, closing her eyes as she turned her head, her lips seeking his.

But he wasn't done. Oliver dodged her lips, kissing the corner of her mouth and continuing down her jaw. "I love the rush I get every time I make your heart race. I can feel it pounding in your chest like it's trying to reach mine." His hand slipped across her hip, up her stomach, his fingers passing her breast as he sucked in a breath. And then his palm landed over her heart, feeling it to his core. She knew, because she felt the same thing. "I love that all you have to do is touch me, and I instantly know that I never have to be alone again."

Felicity held her breath as Oliver's hand moved from her chest, gliding to her neck. His thumb rubbed against her chin, waiting for her to look at him.

She pulled her eyes up from his chest, meeting the blue eyes that had both haunted and healed her whole life.

Oliver's lips twitched with a smile, looking deep into her eyes like he was seeing everything he'd ever wanted and needed. "I love your mind, and your heart, and your strength." The hand still on her hip moved, inching around to her backside as a wayward look flashed in his eyes. "I love your body," he grinned, his fingers gripping her ass suddenly, making her cry out.

She didn't have words; just a breathless, needy moan as she lifted her leg, hooking it around his hip. The smile faded from his lips as he recognized the desperation in her gaze.

God, she needed to feel him.

That reckless, wild need still burned her just as it did the first time he'd kissed her, just as it did when they finally found each other again. And Felicity understood that it would never end.

Good...she didn't want it to.

Seeing it all over her face and feeling it in her bones, Oliver let out a sharp breath, stepping closer and pinning her back against the wall. The shower head hung high above them, the water landing on Oliver's back.

He gripped her other thigh in his hand, hauling it up to wrap around him with her other leg. He took her weight effortlessly, keeping her back against the wall and holding her above him. Felicity's hands fell to his shoulders, wigging her hips, her heat seeking friction against his abs. She whimpered, trying to move lower, to feel what she knew was waiting just a few inches south, hard and ready for her.

With a satisfied sigh, Oliver let her go, gently letting her slip down his body, reaching around her to grip himself.

As her center found his thick length, Oliver moaned, pushing into her slowly. Felicity's nails dug into his shoulders while he filled her inch by delicious inch. "Tell me more," she begged, her voice ragged, barely audible over the sound of water hitting tile and their breathy gasps, all of it echoing in the space.

Oliver stared up at her, his pupils blown wide. His hips didn't move, but his cock twitched inside of her. "I love the certainty I feel," he growled, the sweetness slipping from his tone, something a bit darker taking its place, "knowing that no matter what happens from now until the day that I die..." He finally moved, slipping almost all the way out of her, and Felicity keened. "You, Felicity Smoak, are _mine_."

As soon as he said the words, letting her in on a possessive piece of him she hadn't really seen before, he snapped his hips, filling her to the hilt. Felicity cried out, knowing that she was his. Knowing that he was hers. But she didn't mind the edge in his tone, not in that moment.

In that moment, she welcomed it.

"Yes," Felicity groaned, thrusting against him. "Yes, yes, yes,"

He growled, slowing his pace. Then he leaned forward, his lips barely brushing hers. "Tell _me_ , Felicity," he grit out, keeping his eyes on hers.

"I'm yours," she moaned, fighting to keep her eyes open, wanting to close them, to just feel, her desire a living thing. She wrapped both arms around his neck, holding on to him tight. "God, I love being yours."

Humming in agreement, Oliver pushed into her harder, faster, hitting a spot deep within her that had her legs shaking around him.


	18. The Confessing

"Have I mentioned how much I hate this plan?"

Felicity glanced at Oliver from the backseat of John Diggle's tinted car. "You have," she whispered back, tightening her hand on his thigh, trying to calm him down. But it was probably too late for that. His back was stiff, his eyebrows pushed together unhappily, and his lips a hard line. All the tell-tale signs that he was worried. "I'm going to be okay," Felicity patted his knee.

"This is a terrible plan," her soulmate mumbled back.

The gray skies above their heads definitely left an ominous feeling. And of course it had just begun to rain as soon as they pulled the car up outside of Palmer Tech. "We need to know," she soothed, her eyes scanning the people on the street.

It wasn't public knowledge yet that Oliver Queen was alive, which meant he still had to hide. It wouldn't be much longer before the news broke one way or another, and they needed to be prepared with as much information as they possibly could.

That started with her ex boyfriend.

Ray's accounts were private, of course, but all she needed to do was get into his office, plant the sniffer, and they'd have access. They'd know for sure if he was working with H.I.V.E. And while Felicity's instincts told her that Ray would never hurt a fly, they still needed to be thorough.

Meeting Diggle's eyes in the rear-view mirror, Felicity nodded once to him before reaching for the door. Oliver's hand landed over hers, his fingers gripping to stop her with a breathless "wait."

Felicity tilted her head back, giving him a smile as she brushed her nose against his. "Oliver," she murmured, "you have to let me go. We all agreed to this plan."

"That was before I decided it was terrible," he sighed.

Chuckling, Felicity gently slipped out of his grip, keeping one hand on the door but turning to face him. "Nothing is going to happen to me. I'll be in and out in ten minutes."

With a dissatisfied groan, Oliver kissed her, his lips pouting when he pulled back. "For the record, I'm never agreeing to a plan like this again. And should you so much as take a breath that sounds off to me, I'm going in there."

She bit her lip, trying and failing to hide a smile. "Noted," Felicity shook her head, reaching for the door again. And he stopped her again. 

This time, he caught her chin between his fingers, turning her head back towards him and slanting his mouth over hers before she could complain that she needed to go. Instead, she melted a bit, kissing him back completely until he pulled away. "I love you so much," Oliver whispered.

Felicity hummed happily, resting her forehead against his. There would never not be time for _that_. "I love you, too."

"And I love not wanting to puke in my own damn car," John muttered from behind the wheel, rolling his eyes. "Let's get this going before we miss our chance. Sound good, Romeo?"

Oliver pinched his lips together, his eyes narrowing at John, who simply smiled back, unbothered.

Getting out of the car, Felicity made her way across the street, pulling out her phone and ignoring Oliver's sigh through the comm in her ear. She put her phone up to her other ear after dialing Curtis' number, using the conversation to avoid any of Ray's coworkers that might try to talk to her. Curtis answered on the second ring, and Felicity kept her voice low as she made her way to the elevator, "he still there?"

"Yes," Curtis whispered back in the same tone, even though he probably didn't need to. "Mr. Palmer just arrived and is on his way up to your office right now."

"Good," Felicity breathed, watching as the lights on the elevator climbed, knowing she was doing the same. "Stall him for as long as you can. And then text me the moment he leaves."

"Got it," she could practically hear Curtis nodding along. "Ms. Smoak, I meant to ask you earlier, but you seemed busy and I wasn't really sure if it was important but since you called and since I don't even really know what's going on or why you want me to keep your ex boyfriend occupied, I was just wondering...should we be using code or something? Like when he leaves and I text you, do we need a code word? Like 'pineapple'? Or maybe just one of those cute little pineapple emojis!"

Closing her eyes, Felicity bit her lip and ignored it when Oliver groaned in her ear. "God, I hate this plan," he repeated again.

"Whatever you send," she answered her employee, "I'll take it as my cue that Mr. Palmer has left. Okay?"

"Yes, right, good." Curtis sighed, "he just came in, I'll text you." Then he hung up, and the elevator doors opened. Felicity stepped onto the top floor of Ray's company, lifting her chin confidently as she made her way to his receptionist. 

The girl jumped to her feet at the sight of Felicity. "Ms. Smoak!" She squeaked, "I wasn't expecting you! Mr. Palmer isn't here right now."

Duh. Felicity offered his assistant the same smile she always had. 

"That's all right, Tiffany," she continued on towards Ray's office like she owned the place. "He's expecting me. I'm a little early, I think..." she frowned down at her watch, playing along. "I'll just wait in here."

Without leaving poor Tiffany any time to object, Felicity entered Ray's office and closed the door.

Lucky for her, his layout wasn't quite as modern as her company. Meaning his office walls weren't made of glass. Once she was safely in the room, she hesitated for just a moment, seeing if Tiffany might barge in to drag her out.

Felicity nodded, satisfied that either Tiffany had let it go, or she was calling security. And she moved towards Ray's computers. If it happened to be the latter, she wouldn't have much time.

Sinking down in his chair, Felicity ignored Oliver's string of 'I hate this, I hate this, I hate this' and John's 'relax, man' in response.

She worked quickly, installing the bug into Ray's server and connecting it to her phone. As the transfer loaded, she stood up to peek out of the door, seeing Tiffany sitting at her desk, happily watching cat videos on Youtube.

"We're good," she rolled her eyes. "No crisis up here, unless a kitten getting its head stuck in a fence qualifies."

"What?" Oliver breathed, confused.

She just shook her head, "never mind. I'm fine here."

John spoke next, sounding worried himself, although he hid it better than Oliver. "How much longer?" They all knew that she'd only have about five minutes once Curtis called, since her company was only a block away.

Seeing that the download was mere seconds from completing, Felicity stepped back to Ray's desk, putting her hand on the sniffer. "Almost done," she muttered back. Her phone started ringing in her pocket, and Felicity frowned down at Curtis' face on the screen. "Yeah?" She answered it.

"Pineapple! Pineapple! Pineapple!" He alerted. "Mr. Palmer asked me to get him some coffee, and when I came back, he was gone!"

"Shit," Oliver, Felicity, and John said in unison.

The download was done, and Felicity pulled it out, shoving it into her pocket and heading for the door. Just as she was dropping the sniffer and her phone into her coat pocket, "Wait!" Dig stopped her. "Palmer's here."

"Go, Felicity!" Oliver demanded, his voice low with panic. "Get out of there."

"No!" John stopped her in her tracks again. "There's no way you'll get out without Palmer seeing you." Then he spoke to Oliver, "he can't catch her running out of there!"

"What do you suggest here, boys?" She mumbled, getting antsy.

"We need a cover," John replied.

Felicity sighed, sitting down in the chair across from Ray's desk. "What are you doing?" Oliver growled at her, and she told him to trust her. She had just enough time to calm herself down before Ray came into his office. 

His eyebrows furrowed as he looked at her, "Tiffany told me you were here," Ray cocked his head to the side. "I was a little confused since I got a very formal email from you yesterday asking for a meeting at your office."

"Did I say mine?" Felicity slapped her hand against her forehead, rolling her eyes. "I apologize, I thought I said yours."

He watched her, analyzing for a brief moment before letting it go. "Well," Ray sighed, coming around his desk and taking a seat. He held his hands out to Felicity, "what did you want to talk about?"

"I just wanted to make sure that we're still okay." She tried not to sound like the ball of nerves that she felt like.

Oliver made a low noise in her ear that had her pinching her lips together.

"Professionally, I mean," Felicity clarified for the listeners, both in the room and waiting in the car. "Our companies have always worked well together. I wouldn't want to see that end just because, you know, we did."

In response, Ray Palmer held his hands up, laughing without any real humor. "What do you expect me to do with that, Felicity?" He asked, leaning back in his chair. She frowned as he shook his head. "You disappear on our anniversary, break my heart without giving me any real reason, then you come back to town...you've been here for over a week, and I don't hear a word from you. Now you just show up wanting to talk shop?"

Her eyebrows furrowed, plucking out the one thing from his rant that had struck her guilty nerve. "I broke your heart?"

"Yeah," Ray whispered, meeting her eyes. "And to be honest, it kind of feels like you just came here now to rub in the fact that you're perfectly fine with this."

"God, no, Ray..." she sighed. "I'm sorry...I just didn't realize that I uh, that I meant that much to you, I guess."

He raised his eyebrows, fidgeting a bit. "Well I suppose that's fair," Ray cleared his throat. "Felicity, our relationship was at your pace. You were the one who wanted to go slow, so of course it was. I knew that if I pushed too hard, you'd have no problem leaving me, so I really tried not to push, even though I'm sure it doesn't feel that way to you." He smiled sadly, nodding his head towards her left hand. "I would've had a ring on that finger by now if it were up to me—"

"Ray," Felicity let out a sharp breath, interrupting him.

It was selfish, since she knew Oliver was listening, and she didn't want him to have to hear that. In fact, she didn't really want to hear it, either.

"I'm so sorry..." she blinked at him. "I had no idea you felt this way."

He shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal. But to him, clearly it was. "How could you? I never said anything. Going along with the way things were, not telling you how I really felt...those were my choices. I kind of always knew it'd end one day, sooner or later."

She shook her head, taking in a deep breath. "I'm still sorry that I hurt you. You deserve better, Ray. I hope you find someone who makes you happy."

"Thank you, Felicity."

His smile was sad, but he still gave her one. 

And that was the man who she knew in her heart would never get mixed up with H.I.V.E.

* * *

As Oliver made dinner, he couldn't stop glancing at Felicity. She sat a few feet away, on the couch in her loft, her laptop open in front of her as she searched her ex's records.

The fajitas he was making kept him relatively busy, but every time he took his eyes off the food, they found her. She hadn't looked back at him, though. Not once.

And as much as Oliver _loathed_ the things Ray Palmer had said to her, he hated the way they had affected Felicity even more. She'd made it out of his building unscathed, but she'd been pretty quiet ever since.

A beer appeared on the counter in front of him, the cap popped off, and he glanced up at John appreciatively. 

"She'll be okay," his friend promised.

Oliver looked at Felicity again, and she wasn't even paying attention to her computer anymore, just looking out the window in a daze. He knew she felt bad for Ray Palmer. And that she had a right to those feelings. Oliver was self-aware enough to know that his feelings were hurt because Felicity felt bad about hurting Ray's feelings. But she wouldn't be the woman he loved if she didn't care. It just sucked to watch.

"Hey," John got his attention, pulling him back. "Getting Lyla to talk about Wes is like pulling teeth. I'm still trying to convince her that her ex doesn't need to be a giant rain cloud hanging above us. At least Felicity's moping about Palmer out here."

Sure, she could've locked herself in her room. But it wasn't like either option was ideal. "That doesn't mean I have to like it," Oliver grumbled sparing her another glance.

As John helped with dinner, they all fell into comfortable silence, the noises from the kitchen and Felicity's typing the only sounds filling the loft.

Eventually Lyla came in, informing them that Moira had officially hired her as Felicity's bodyguard.

Oliver just nodded, irritation rising again at the reminder. His mother had hired John the same night Felicity updated his profile to Armor Industries. Yet she'd taken her time with hiring protection for Felicity. Dragging her feet. Finally, upon John's recommendation, she'd hired Lyla.

"Guess your mother will have to get a little more creative now if she wants to put a hit out on me," Felicity flashed him a smile over the couch.

He cocked his head to the side, leveling her with a look. "That's not funny," he sighed. "This is just her way of proving that she has control. I demanded a bodyguard for you, she's just trying to show me that she's in charge. It doesn't mean she wants you dead."

Felicity raised her eyebrows, "don't think she'd shed any tears if I got hit by a bus, though."

Oliver closed his eyes, shaking his head, "not funny," he grumbled again. Then he turned back to his cooking.

"Smells amazing," Lyla complimented, squeezing John's arm and snatching a slice of green pepper on her way through. She plopped down on the couch beside Felicity. "How'd it go with Palmer today? Johnny told me you ran into a bit of a snag."

Keeping her eyes on her screen, Felicity snorted. "More than a snag. Diverting to Plan B was more like it. But," she sighed, "we did it. I'm just running my tests now. If Ray has anything shady, aside from porn or weird purchases, I mean like, illegal, bad guy shady...I'll find it."

Lyla nodded, watching Felicity work as she chewed on her pepper. After a moment, Oliver sighed. "Time to eat," he offered.

The women glanced at him over the couch, and Felicity smiled, setting her laptop on the couch and getting up. 

While John and Lyla filled their plates and sat down at the table, Felicity caught Oliver's arm. "Are you okay?" She whispered, rubbing her hand over his bicep. He stared down at her, trying to read her, and nodded. Felicity gave him a strange look. "You sure? I know Ray said some crazy things back there..."

"We can talk about it later," he nodded. "But as long as you're okay...I'm okay."

Her smile pushed up a bit, more natural. "I'm okay. Starving...but okay. And I love you."

Oliver chuckled, passing her a plate. "I love you, too."

"Mm," Felicity hummed as he kissed her head. "I never get tired of hearing that. Or saying it."

He pressed his lips to her head again, giving himself a moment to breathe her in. And then they carried their plates to the table in her dining area, sitting down across from John and Lyla. 

"So," Felicity said, perking up at their guests. "How's the hotel? Hope my recommendation hasn't been a bust or anything."

John smiled, shaking his head at her. "I have an apartment in Starling."

"Oh," she frowned, "didn't know that." She shrugged and turned to Lyla. "Well, what about you? I know it's not the fanciest place, but it's where I stayed when I first moved here." Lyla cleared her throat, squirming in her seat, and Oliver put a hand on Felicity's leg, trying to silently tell her...but she was babbling. "I loved its charm and that it's kind of away from the city noise. I thought you might appreciate that, you know? Not that I really know what Nanda Parbat was like, but I imagine it was peaceful." 

Lyla looked down at her food, her cheeks flushing. "I'm sure it's great." She cleared her throat, avoiding Felicity's eyes. "Anyway, how is it going with your family?" Lyla asked Oliver.

He glanced at Felicity before answering, catching the hurt and confusion on her face at being brushed off by Lyla. "Dinner went better than I expected," Oliver shrugged. "Thea's still pretty skeptical and Tommy showed up halfway through. But we managed," he winked at Felicity.

"Did he say anything?" John asked.

Oliver shook his head, "not a word about Gotham or Darhk's death. Although that doesn't mean much. Clearly he's hiding something...I don't think my family knows he's been on our tail. But did seem surprised to see me."

"Surprised like, 'didn't know you were alive' or surprised like 'didn't know you were in town'?" Lyla asked.

Oliver shrugged. Felicity scrunched her nose, "no idea."

John nodded, digesting the words. And Felicity spoke up again, "I'm running a few checks on Tommy's phone and his accounts. I haven't found anything strange yet. He's mostly been traveling these last five years. A lot of those places coincide with where Oliver's been, definitely making it possible that Tommy's been tracking you guys. But he's also been to a lot of places that have nothing to do with you. It's strange, for sure. But I'll need to do some more digging."

From behind them, Felicity's computer rang out with an alert. She made a noise, rushing through a bite of her fajita. Felicity got up and hurried over to her laptop. Picking it up, she held it in one hand and typed with the other, chewing as her eyebrows pushed together. 

The others watched, waiting for her to swallow, and her face dropped as she looked back at them, growing pale. "What is it?" Oliver asked, standing up from the table.

Felicity brought the computer over, moving her plate aside so she could put the device down. And they all surrounded it. "The Hunt?" Lyla asked, leaning towards the screen as she read the title.

"This is where Ray's money has been going..." Felicity mumbled, her voice detached. They all skimmed through the page, which consisted of two simple things. A list of names on one side, and a sum of money on the other. 

"Damn it," Oliver hissed as Felicity scrolled the names.

He jogged away from the table, returning a moment later with a familiar book in his hand. His dad's notebook. The hit list. Oliver kept it close, hidden in the same secret compartment of Felicity's underwear drawer where she kept the photo of him she'd stolen from Moira's office years ago.

John sucked in a breath at the sight of the book.

"A lot of these names...I recognize," Oliver grumbled, slamming it down on the table.

"This list is triple the size of your father's," Lyla deadpanned, pointing to Felicity's screen.

Oliver leaned over Felicity's shoulder, looking at it again. Felicity rubbed his arm, trying to comfort him. "Robert's book is almost a decade old. H.I.V.E must have new ways of finding soulmates than whatever your dad was doing. Some of the names cross reference, but H.I.V.E has clearly found a more efficient way of identifying us."

"What does this have to do with Ray?" John asked to obvious question.

Felicity sucked in a breath, straightening her shoulders. She pointed at the amounts listed next to each name, some of them worth more than others. As if hunting the variants was some kind of game. "He funds the whole operation," she spat. And Oliver could sense the way her skin was crawling, hating that she'd let herself feel guilty for 'breaking his heart'.

Ray Palmer didn't have a heart to break, if this is what he was capable of. 

"I don't know why he would ever..." Felicity curled her lip in disgust.

Oliver gently slid his hands over her arms, up to her shoulders and back down. "My guess is that this list is shared with bounty hunters, so to speak, within H.I.V.E, and once they bring a 'variant' in, they get paid." He suggested.

"Almost half of Ray's savings are dedicated to this—this _Hunt_ ," Felicity shivered. "It stands out right away. I'd be willing to bet that if we added up all of these bounties," she tapped her finger against the screen, "it would equal the sum of Ray's transactions to those offshore accounts."

"This is insane," Lyla breathed. "We knew that H.I.V.E was looking for variants and that they were experimenting and killing us...but I always thought that Damien Darhk was the worst of them. This is sadistic. Having these names blasted, hunting people like this...it's evil."

Oliver leaned into Felicity, his chest on her back as he spoke lowly, "they are evil," he said with certainty. He knew. Years of torture and pain told him that the entirety of H.I.V.E was evil.

He'd had to accept that his own father was a monster. And anyone involved with them...they all deserved to die.

Felicity had told him, just a couple weeks ago, that he could burn them all to the ground and she'd still love him.

He wondered if Ray Palmer ending up in the ashes would change that.

But it wasn't the time to ask. He didn't dare to.

As Felicity did more research, they all fell into shocked, horrified silence. And it was a shame Oliver had worked so hard on dinner, because no one had an appetite anymore.

An hour later, after plenty of digging and even more discussion, they had an idea about how the 'pricing' went. Younger variants were worth less money than the older ones, since older meant more experience with their power. The higher the bounty, the more H.I.V.E felt threatened, they reasoned.

They also couldn't help but notice that Oliver, Felicity, and Lyla's names were all missing from the list. Given Oliver's history with Damien Darhk and the attack on Smoak Technologies, it wasn't a good sign. H.I.V.E obviously knew their names, yet they weren't on the list. It could only mean that H.I.V.E had other plans for them that didn't involve getting murdered or kidnapped.

Sara was being hunted, though. 

And she was the highest bounty.

"I have to warn the others," Lyla mumbled, when their work reached well into the night. Oliver nodded, knowing that Sara's bounty was a threat to her and The Birds of Prey.

As Lyla left the loft, John slumped into his chair, "am I an awful person for being relieved that at least _her_ name isn't on that damn list?"

"No," Oliver shook his head, glancing at Felicity. "I don't know what it means, but I suppose we should find silver lining in the fact that at least we don't have random assassins hunting us from a list on the dark web."

Felicity snorted out a laugh, and the boys looked at her incredulously. "Sorry," she cleared her throat, "this is so not funny, but I don't know what else to do."

Sighing, Oliver brushed his thumb across her cheek, gently tucking her hair behind her ear. They shared a quiet moment, only interrupted when John spoke. With his eyes on his phone, the man frowned. "I just got a text from your mother."

Oliver and Felicity both stopped, turning to look at him.

"She wants me to come to the mansion within the hour."

"It's the middle of the night," Felicity frowned.

John just raised his eyebrows, meeting her eyes. And Oliver understood the look passing between them. He knew his mother was a bit of a queen, no pun intended. It shouldn't surprise anyone that she expected her security detail to drop everything and meet her requests. No matter what time it was.

"I better go," Dig sighed.

"Wait," Felicity got up to fish out her comm from her coat pocket. "Let us know when you get there. We might need to hear this."

Dig pursed his lips, "is that a good idea? No offense Oliver, but your mom's paranoid. Going with a wire seems like a death sentence."

Oliver just shrugged, grinning at him. "You're in her inner circle now. She'll trust you until she has a reason not to."

"Lucky me," John groaned, getting up from the table. 

Once he left, Felicity let out a breath, leaning back in her chair. "Well, that was the worst double date in the history of double dates."

Chuckling, Oliver stood up to clear their plates. "Was it a double date?" He asked, making a face at her over his shoulder. 

She bit her lip, "I like John and Lyla. I like how much they care about you."

Oliver smiled, rolling his sleeves to get started on the dishes while Felicity helped clean up. She maneuvered around him, putting the leftover food in the fridge. "They like you," he said confidently. Neither Lyla or John needed to say it. If they didn't like and trust Felicity, they wouldn't be there. They wouldn't be so willing to jump on board with the crazy plan and see it through. And they sure as hell wouldn't be accepting her invitation for fajitas at her apartment. Felicity sidled up beside him, ignoring the dishwasher in favor of drying the dishes he'd washed. And he smiled again as he watched her, seeing it all over her face that she had something to say.

So he waited, glancing down at her pouted lips while her brain worked through whatever it needed. Finally, she spoke. "Lyla hasn't been staying at the hotel, has she?"

"No," Oliver laughed. "Not the sense that I was getting, anyway."

Felicity smacked his arm with the towel in her hand, "you could've stopped me from rambling on about it like an idiot!"

"Hey!" He dodged the jab, still laughing as he came back and bumped his hip against hers. "I tried to tell you. Me squeezing the hell out of your leg was me trying to tell you," he shook his head. "Besides, you didn't look like an idiot. You're adorable." Oliver bent down to drop a kiss on the top of her head, his bubble covered finger tapping her nose.

Getting the response he was looking for, Felicity laughed. "I invite them over for dinner and immediately put them on the spot about their sex life." She sighed deeply, wiping the soap from the tip of her nose. "Nice, Felicity." Oliver bit his lip to keep from laughing as she chastised herself, resigned to her own bad luck. 

He grazed his fingers over her chin, tilting her face up so he could see her. "You're incredible, Felicity Smoak. John and Lyla see that. I think everyone who meets you is in awe of you. Sometimes I still can't believe you're mine." He kept his voice low and his eyes on her, and he couldn't help but savor the way her eyes darkened, as if she was remembering the other night...the things he'd said to her in the shower. She pushed up onto her toes, pressing her lips against his. But she kept the kiss short.

Groaning, Felicity angled her face out of his grip, his fingers dropping. Then she slipped away from him, her eyes still on him as she walked backwards to the couch. "I'll be out here," she breathed, gesturing to the balcony. "Waiting for John's call. Outside. In view of the neighbors. Where you can't distract me."

Oliver raised an eyebrow, tossing her a smirk. "Says who?"

Felicity's mouth popped open for a moment, and then she shivered, grabbing the blanket off the couch on her way and hurrying outside. And he finished the dishes quickly, setting the rest of them in the rack to dry.

By the time he joined her on the balcony, stepping behind her and wrapping her up, it was only a few minutes before she got the signal from John. And they both listened while their friend stepped into the lion's den.

With his arms tight around her, Oliver and Felicity listened through their earpieces as John and Moira greet each other. And being Moira, she didn't hesitate to jump right in. 

"I asked you here tonight because I need you to keep an eye on someone for me."

It took John a moment to respond. "With all due respect, Mrs. Queen," he spoke slowly, "you hired me to protect your son. Not to stalk people."

"I have good reason to believe that this man might try to hurt my son," Moira answered.

Felicity stiffened, turning her head to look back at Oliver. He just shook his head, pressing his head to hers. "I just need you to make sure that doesn't happen," Moira continued. "I'm trying to be proactive about this, Mr. Diggle...that's all. Better this way than to wait and see what this man is capable of."

"And why do you think this..." They could hear John shifting through papers, some kind of file Moira must have handed him on the man she wanted him to watch. "Alex Hertell? Why do you believe he is a threat to Mr. Queen?"

Moira didn't respond right away, as if she was choosing her words carefully. "Because he knows things about my family that could ruin us all," She finally said quietly. At the words and her cold tone, Felicity's grip on Oliver's hands tightened, prompting him to pull her closer, assuring her that it'd be okay. "I don't know how he got the information on my family, but he has it, Mr. Diggle. And I am terrified about what he might do with it."

Reluctantly, John agreed to keep tabs on the man named Alex Hertell, only after Oliver gave him the green light. There was no reason not to do as Moira asked. Denying her request would just be closing a door on possible answers. For all they knew, Alex Hertell was a member of H.I.V.E. Hell, for all they knew, his mother was, too.

As soon as John was back in his car, they discussed how to go about looking into Mr. Hertell. And once he was a safe distance from the house, John pulled over to snap some pictures of the file, hoping to give Felicity a head start on their new investigation. "Heading back to your place, Felicity," Dig told them. "About fifteen minutes out."

"I'll start searching—" Felicity froze, her eyes on her phone, on the photos John had texted. More specifically, on the face of the man who Moira wanted John to keep tabs on. 

"What is it?"John asked over the comms. She held her phone out to Oliver, and his eyes sparked with concern as he looked down at her face first. His fingers gripped her hip, his other hand covering hers, tilting the phone so he could get a better look.

He hadn't seen the man's face since Felicity was young. 

Since she was seven.

"Shit," he grit through his teeth, rage taking over his heart just as it had done when he was a kid. When Felicity had been left and broken by the man, and Oliver had experienced his first bout of rage. He'd been so certain in some moments back then...he would kill the man if he ever saw his face. And now it was in front of him. Older and apparently blackmailing his mother.

"Okay," John sighed in their ears, annoyed. "Can you guys cool it with whatever soulmate conversation you're having? And can someone please tell me what the hell the problem is?"

"Felicity's dad," Oliver mumbled, his gaze shifting back to her. Her eyes were filled with unshed tears already, her lip quivering as if she was being transported right back to that little girl.

Oliver felt a wave of fury wash over him at the expression on Felicity's face.

Violence rose inside of him that he hadn't felt in over five years, reminding him of the night he'd felt Felicity's heart break. The night he'd found her sobbing in her room, the night her father had abandoned her.

It was a kind of rage that only a threat to Felicity caused. Only the idea of someone hurting her could inspire this storm in him. And Noah Kuttler, or Alex Hertell, or whatever he called himself, had hurt his soulmate more than anyone else ever had. "That's Felicity's dad," Oliver growled, not taking his eyes off her face.

"Shit," John huffed from the other line. "Son of a bitch." His voice was only a fraction of the anger Oliver felt. But it was just as concerned. Just as protective.


	19. The Lying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little later than I was hoping to post, but still Sunday! Yay!  
> I've been getting questions and theories about Ray ever since I introduced him... 'bout time for some answers, I say! I hope you all like the chapter. Let me know what you think! DO WE TRUST RAY? DO WE HATE HIM!? :O

Friends were never really something that Felicity had. Not growing up the way she did; with a single parent who had to work sixty hours a week, while she spent most of her time as a kid worrying about things that other kids her age never had to think twice about. Since Donna worked so hard, it was always Felicity's responsibility to make sure that meals were cooked, the house was cleaned, and her homework got finished. In a lot of ways, she'd been forced to be her own parent.

Despite that, there was never a bone in her body that resented her mother for any of it. 

Donna Smoak did _everything_ to make sure Felicity was healthy and happy and that she still saw the world as a good place.

But growing up, mostly alone and so much faster than others her age, was isolating. Not to mention her connection to Oliver. Which ironically isolated her even more, despite how much he brought to her life. While Felicity knew her classmates never would guess she had a friend she could "visit" in her mind, they still sensed something different about her. Even if she _had_ wanted to go to all the movies and parties on the weekends, even if she'd tried harder to make friends as a kid, Felicity was certain that they wouldn't have extended the invitations. 

The trend may have continued through adulthood, but Felicity had never truly noticed. The only thing that felt absent from her life was Oliver. He was the missing piece.

She'd climbed the ladder of success in record time. Oliver had left a void inside of her.

The hole was personal, yet she'd tried to fill it professionally. And she'd never once felt like she was missing out on anything besides _him_.

It was the way it was. And Felicity was fine with that. More than fine with it.

But then Oliver had come back. And he'd opened up her heart all over again, in more ways than just one.

So, when Caitlin Snow called her one early morning, three days after she'd learned about her father's whereabouts, Felicity was welcome to the kindness rather than suspicious. She was also surprised that Caitlin reached out to her directly instead of going through Oliver, but she didn't mind it at all. And she was warmed by how genuine and supportive the woman was. 

They'd talked for over an hour; Felicity curled up on the couch and whispering so she didn't wake Oliver who was still sound asleep in bed. She'd told Caitlin the broad, detail-less version of her father's abandonment. His return and what it could mean.

And by the time she hung up, Felicity's heart felt a little lighter.

As wonderful as Oliver had been those last few days, she knew, deep down, that he was bottling his own anger up. Sharing the weight of hers after her father had left. She'd been too young to understand, and she knew that seeing her cry the night her dad left was still one of Oliver's worst memories, too. So much pain, tears, and self doubt because of one man's choice. One man who she'd never imagined would abandon her until he was gone.

It was nice to talk about all of it with Caitlin; someone who wasn't so close to it...the truth of her father being alive and the possibilities of his connection to the Queens. Someone who didn't _feel_ her pain the way Oliver did.

It was about to be a long day head of them, so the conversation with Caitlin was just what Felicity had needed that morning. A friend.

Then later that day, Felicity was struck again by the loyalty of these new people in her life.

The news of Oliver's return had finally broke through the public, and the whole city was desperate for headlines. On one hand, she and Oliver were irritated since it was terrible timing. Just one more thing on their plate that they now had to deal with. But on the other hand, they were glad that they'd made it two weeks in Starling before the bomb got dropped to the world. 

A press conference was all Moira's idea. Felicity, Oliver, John, and Lyla had all tried and failed to talk her out of it. At the end of the day though, it was impossible to argue with his mother's logic. Until they got in front of the stories and the rumors, they'd only spread like wildfire. Until they addressed it and gave a statement, things would only get crazier.

No matter what Felicity thought about Mrs. Queen, it was obvious that _crazy_ was exactly what the woman wanted to avoid.

Still, it was a tough day. With so many eyes on his family, everyone thought it would be best for Felicity to stay out of sight for the press conference.

Moira had geared up for a fight with Oliver about it, launching into her argument that there was no reason to drag Felicity into the mix, since the media assumed that Oliver was staying at the Queen mansion and no one seemed to know of her involvement. The woman looked ready to go a few rounds with her son, but Oliver had surprised her when he quickly agreed with her. 

So, with his mom and sister at his sides, Oliver got ready to address a sea of microphones and cameras on the front steps of city hall. They'd just finished officially legalizing Oliver's return to the living, and the media was ready to bombard the Queens as soon as those doors opened. While Moira discussed the safest plan with John, and Thea was busy staring down at her phone, Felicity reached for Oliver's hand, giving it a warm, encouraging squeeze. He wasn't used to this. He'd been living in his own shadow for five years, and now all the lights were beating down on him. "You got this," she whispered, dropping his hand before anyone took notice.

His lip twitched with a smile, watching her as she stepped back. And then he mouthed an 'I love you', which was becoming a common thing for them whenever his family was near. She winked back at Oliver before heading over to Lyla, also known as her new bodyguard.

Felicity's second lesson on friendship and loyalty came when they were all getting ready to face the noise. Moira asked Lyla to stick to the Queens' sides for the spectacle. And Lyla had simply cocked her head to the side, gesturing towards Felicity. "You hired me to protect Ms. Smoak. She's here, so I'll stay with her."

"Ms. Smoak doesn't need protecting today," Moira had answered icily, making the hair on the back of Felicity's neck stand up. The woman's tone was so dismissive, not a single care detected. _Throw her to the wolves, why don't we?_ She could've suggested. She'd made plenty of cracks to Oliver about how Moira wouldn't mind seeing her dead, but the cold air hanging between them actually made her wonder if there was more truth to it than she'd thought.

In response, Lyla smiled and shook her head. "Your children will be in good hands," she remained polite, gesturing to the six armed guards from Armor Industries, including John Diggle, who were prepared to stand on the steps with the Queen family during the press conference. "There's no harm in making sure Felicity is safe as well." Lyla cocked her head to the side, her eyes flickering to Oliver where he was talking to Thea. The pointed glance was obvious, daring Moira to contradict her, because they all knew what Oliver would have to say on the subject. "I'll stay with Ms. Smoak."

Being a Bird of Prey, an ex member of a secret cult that raised soulmates to their full potential, and having a father like the one Lyla had described, Felicity had to admire her stubbornness. Lyla had no fear of Moira Queen. And part of her envied it, wishing she could say the same. But Moira Queen's presence felt eerie, giving Felicity the creeps most of the time. Not haunted cemetery level creeps, but close enough to send a shiver down her spine.

After walking outside, away from Mrs. Queen and her obvious displeasure, Felicity and Lyla quietly made their way to the back of the crowd, blending in the best she could. Her face was well known in Starling because of Smoak Tech, but she was by no means a celebrity. There was only one reporter who noted her presence, snapping a single photo before he got back to anxiously waiting for the Queens to come out.

By the time Oliver walked down the steps, with John on one side and Moira and Thea on the other, no one paid her any attention. Aside from Lyla, who kept close.

Oliver came to stand in front of the podium, taking a deep breath as his hands settled on the edge of the wooden desk. The reporters fired their questions before he could even look up, and he kept his eyes down until the bright flashes began to subside. When he looked up, his eyes were right on Felicity's, knowing exactly where she was. And Oliver nodded once, letting his gaze roll over the rest of the people. They still yelled and took his picture, but Oliver remained calm, waiting patiently for it to stop.

Underneath, Felicity could feel how much he couldn't wait to for it to be over. Every time his eyes roamed in her direction, she could feel it. His thoughts were in tune with hers; the apartment, ice cream, wine, and less clothes.

Just them.

It made her heart pick up speed, realizing what was on his mind as he stood in front of an audience like that. And it made her smile.

"Careful," Lyla mumbled, leaning in closer. Felicity glanced down, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion. "These people might be attention-seeking vultures, but they're _observant_ attention-seeking vultures," Lyla explained. "Just tone down the heart-eyes before someone gets a picture. Tell Queen to do the same. He's looking over here every ten seconds."

Felicity sucked in a breath, letting Lyla's warning register between her and Oliver. 

As it did, Oliver raised a hand to the captive audience. Once they realized that he planned to speak, the reporters finally quieted, all of them pushing their microphones a little closer. Felicity rolled her eyes at their desperation.

She knew Oliver, and she knew that he would keep his words direct, brief, and simple.

Yet the so-called journalists hung in anticipation as if they were about to watch him pee on a cop car like he'd done when he was a teenager. And Felicity couldn't help but feel satisfied that Oliver would disappoint them.

"My name is Oliver Queen," her soulmate began, lifting his chin. "Five years ago, my father's boat got caught in a storm. It sunk in the North China sea...and I was the only survivor. Two weeks ago, I returned home, and ever since then, I have been able to spend time with my mother and sister. I have been able to get to know them again," he paused, choosing his words with care. "I'm sorry that there is not much more about this story that I am willing to share at this time. I ask, for myself and my family, that you please respect our privacy as we come to terms with all of this. I will always love Starling, and I can't express how good it is to be home. Thank you all for your patience and understanding."

It was only a moment.

No more than three seconds...where the reporters waited to see if he'd say more. And then they realized that Oliver had no intention of it, and they erupted all over again. "Mr. Queen! Where have you been all these years? How did you find your way home? Thea, look here! Mrs. Queen, how does it feel to have your son back? Will Oliver be taking over Queen Consolidated? What was the shipwreck like? How did you survive? Where did you go?" And then... "Is it true that you were in Coast City? Mr. Queen, can you comment on the rumor that you were staying at Oceanside Memory Care as a patient?"

At the last questions, Oliver's only reaction was a slight raise of his eyebrow, barely noticeable, but it told Felicity that he wasn't expecting it, for the vultures to hit so close.

Those were details of their story that should have been confidential, and neither of them liked the idea of nosy journalists digging into their very fake, very made up _lie_. Starling PD was one thing; they used legal channels to do their digging. But if any of those reporters played dirty, their house of cards could come tumbling down, especially since Felicity didn't have the time to build their alibi fully.

The story had cracks. They just needed to make sure that no one found them.

Ignoring the questions, Oliver stepped back from the podium, checking on Felicity once more before he turned away from the crowd.

But his retreat only rallied the reporters more, the flashes becoming blinding as he placed a hand on Thea's back, their security guards closing in on them protectively.

"Oliver! Oliver!" The voices grew louder, chasing him as he tried to make his way down the steps and to the safety of their limo. 

Felicity sighed, knowing that there wasn't a chance in hell she'd be sneaking in there with him without being seen. She was in the middle of pouting, preparing for the ride back to the Queen mansion with Lyla, when it suddenly didn't matter.

With one sentence, the entire crowd of them exploded. With one simple question, the vultures had their story.

Later, Felicity would realize that the lid was blown off by the same man who had taken her picture earlier, the one who'd brought up Coast City and Oceanside, making it clear that he already had his scoop before Oliver and his family had even stepped foot outside City Hall. "Mr. Queen!" The man shouted as Oliver pushed through them with Thea under his arm. "When did you begin dating Felicity Smoak?"

At that, Oliver froze, turning and zeroing in on the reporter who had shouted it.

And Felicity knew that he was memorizing the man's face, already preparing to find him again. She also knew, from what Oliver had told her about his time with H.I.V.E, that someone yelling her name like that, in a place like that, was like lighting a stick of dynamite, and Oliver would be the one to explode when the time came. He'd told her how H.I.V.E had searched for her, tried for over a year to beat him into submission, to get him to give them her name. And even if he hadn't told her about it, she'd seen his nightmares. H.I.V.E finding her...killing her.

The reporting saying her name hit a nerve with Oliver, and no matter how trained he was, it was impossible to hide.

Even if Felicity couldn't feel the weight of his emotion in that moment, the look on his face said it all. As he stared down the reporter, Oliver was thinking about H.I.V.E. About the danger it put her in for them to have her name.

There had been a part of him that was still hoping that Damien Darhk's death meant she was safe. But that was wishful thinking. And now the connection between the two of them was out there, on some level...any level, it didn't matter. It was out there.

Oliver's eyes flashed with something wild, warning the reporter to stop.

With his recorder shaking in his hand, the guy swallowed, reading the threat. But he ignored it. "How did you Ms. Smoak meet?" His face paled at the sight of Oliver's. And he looked like he was watching his life flash before him, right there in Oliver's hard glare.

The moment that Oliver broke eye contact with the man, the vultures attacked, firing the same questions at him over and over, desperate for him to comment so they'd have a story and a paycheck come morning.

In the chaos, the pale reporter that had started it all scurried over to her. "Ms. Smoak," his eyes begged her, "can you tell us about your relation to Oliver Queen?" She could see that he hadn't intended to speak to her, otherwise he would have done it when she came outside. He even looked a little apologetic, knowing what he was about to ignite.

But he hadn't gotten a reaction from Oliver, so...

Felicity wasn't sure what came over her, but she lifted her chin defiantly. "I came across Mr. Queen in Coast City," she stated boldly.

The string would unravel one way or another. And it'd be better coming from her. Better her words than whatever they made up. Taking a note from Moira Queen's playbook, Felicity decided to stop playing defense. She was done with that. Offense was necessary. "I helped him find his way back home."

"Are you and Mr. Queen a couple?" The reporter shot back rapidly, his voice rising as he got excited.

Hesitating, Felicity tried to see through the crowd, finding Oliver where he stood by the door of the limo, watching her. And just like that, the frenzy turned on her. 

Lyla grabbed her arm and yanked, pulling her away from the reporters who finally realized her presence. And she covered Felicity's head, protecting her from the camera flashes while the reporters chased them with their questions.

They eventually made it to Lyla's car, free of the yelling and bright lights as they slammed their doors. The car filled with beautiful silence, and Felicity closed her eyes. 

"Well that was fun," Lyla mumbled, both of them catching their breaths.

Peeking at her friend through one eye, Felicity made a face while Lyla grinned, "I can think of ten thousand things I'd call 'fun' before _that_ ," she groaned. And then they both laughed as Lyla started the car.

Lyla reached over, poking a finger against her eyebrow that made Felicity flinch. "Ouch," she shook her head in sympathy. Then she leaned over and into the console, pulling out napkins. "One of them must've bumped you with a camera or something.

Pressing the napkin against her head, Felicity frowned, pulling it back and seeing a tiny spot of blood. "Jeesh," she breathed, "I didn't even notice."

"You okay?" Her friend asked.

Felicity nodded as Lyla set out on their escape, glancing in the mirror to check the damage. "Just a scratch."

At least the vultures had a sense of self-preservation, and they jumped back before Lyla had to mow them down. As she drove away from the curb, Felicity kept her eyes on the limo. John was waiting until they were safely on the road before he pulled out in the opposite direction.

They were all headed to the Queen mansion, but especially after what happened, John and Lyla were both going to be sure that they weren't being followed.

With the courthouse disappearing in the rear view, Felicity relaxed. And her phone began to ring before they had turned down the street. "Hey," she answered on the first ring, whispering as if Lyla wouldn't hear from right next to her. 

"Are you all right?" Oliver asked in lieu of a greeting.

"Yes," she breathed back, relaxing with the sound of his voice. "Are you guys?"

"We're all fine," he sighed, and she could hear the smile in his voice, feeling the tension leaving him just as hers was. "My mother is quite impressed with you."

"Well isn't that just the icing on an awful cake," she grumbled.

He muffled a laugh, then cleared his throat. "Can you please make sure Lyla is careful getting back to the mansion? And let her know that she can park in the garage? I'm sure the paparazzi will be camped out outside the gate before we even get there. Don't need them to catch photos of you walking into my house." 

Felicity agreed, and Oliver stayed on the line with her until they reached the Queens'.

Once they were safely inside, the only things left were exhaustion and tension.

Oliver was waiting by the door, pacing until he saw them coming in. He relaxed at the sight of her, but it only lasted a moment and then his eyes zeroed in on the cut over her eyebrow. He crossed the room, his hands cupping her face. When he tilted her head to get a better look, Felicity winced. Oliver sighed, "what happened?"

"We're guessing a rogue camera attacked my face," she tried to joke, rubbing his arm. "It's nothing, Oliver."

He glanced away, "did you see which reporter did it?"

Snorting, Felicity pulled back, "why? So you can go have a chat with them?"

Without answering, Oliver pinched his lips together. "Dig," he turned towards John and Lyla, "could you please grab me the first aid kit out of the bathroom?" John nodded, heading off while Oliver led Felicity towards the couch in the study.

"Where's Moira and Thea?" 

"Getting changed. They'll be right down." His voice dropped, "I'm sure my mom will have plenty to say."

When John came back with the first aid kit, Felicity watched while Oliver dug through the supplies. "It really is just a scrape," she frowned. "Not even bleeding anymore.

Oliver glanced up at her; disinfectant in one hand and a band-aid in the other. His eyes softened, fighting a smile as he recognized her hesitation. "It's not going to hurt, Felicity," he promised, leaning in and dropping a quick kiss to her pouting lips. 

He cleaned her up quickly and painlessly, standing up just as Moira and Thea came into the room.

Moira glanced at her but didn't say anything. And Thea at least looked concerned. "What happened to your head? Are you all right?" The girl asked.

Felicity smiled, "I'm fine. You should see the other guy."

At her teasing, Thea leveled her with a look so similar to Oliver's 'serious face' that it actually made Felicity laugh. "At least tell me it was an accident," Thea grumbled. "Or else I'll be riding shotgun along with my brother when he goes to kick the ass of whoever did it." And Felicity laughed again, a little breathlessly this time, surprised both by Thea's spot-on assessment of Oliver's reaction, and the fact that she suggested the same violence.

"It's nothing," Felicity waved Thea off. "I didn't even feel it or see what happened, really. I'm just an easy bleeder."

That comment earned her another lecture-in-a-glance from both Queen siblings, and Felicity shook her head.

"Well, we should probably come up with a plan now," Moira spoke from the other side of the room. She moved away from the bar in the corner, stepping towards them with a drink in each of her hands now. She handed one to Felicity and one to Lyla. Then she poured more for John, Oliver, and herself. And they all waited in silence until the woman sat down.

Felicity knocked the drink back quickly, smelling it first and knowing she wouldn't like it before it burned down her throat.

Diggle crossed his arms, his own drink untouched. "I'll look into the reporter with all the right questions," he offered, his eyes shifting to Felicity as an understanding passed between them. "Figure out where he got his information."

By _him_ looking into the guy, Felicity knew he really meant _she'd_ be doing it. And Felicity was happy for the distraction. She'd been weirdly excited to dig up dirt on Ray Palmer the last few days, and a shady reporter would be even better. Anything to keep her mind off her father and the fact that he'd made an enemy out of the stoic, somewhat terrifying Queen matriarch sitting in front of her.

"It was me," 

Thea still lingered in the doorway, her eyes wide as they flew around the room, and then finally settled on Felicity. She blinked a few times. "I didn't know...I just wanted my brother back, and I didn't think lying about everything was going to help anything." Her eyes closed, a tear sliding down her cheek. "I called that reporter," Thea admitted. "I'm sorry Felicity, I didn't expect it to go like that."

The room was silent, and Felicity stood once Thea opened her eyes again. She offered the girl a smile, her heart going out to the pain that she was in. Extra guilt was the opposite of what she needed. "Thea, it's all right, I know you wouldn't put me or your brother in any kind of danger on purpose." Felicity soothed her quietly, moving towards Thea and raising her arms, about to touch her shoulders. But Felicity thought better, dropping her arms to her sides.

Despite the kinship Felicity felt, the connection they shared because of Oliver, she also knew that in Thea's eyes, she was still just a stranger. One that the girl probably didn't trust. Still, she offered Thea a smile, hoping it alleviated some of the unnecessary guilt.

"I'm sorry," Thea whimpered.

On a very simple, wholehearted level, there was nothing to forgive. Felicity got it...she really did. Thea was confused and angry and she'd do anything for answers about Oliver. Felicity had felt the same way after that night Oliver saved her from H.I.V.E at Smoak Tech.

Straightening her shoulders, Thea let out a deep breath, and Felicity kept her eyes on her. A moment later, Thea was throwing her arms around Felicity, apologizing again. And Felicity accepted the hug, laughing gently, trying to ease her nerves. "It's okay," Felicity mumbled, "Thea, it's okay."

"It's not," Oliver's voice cut through the moment.

Felicity glanced at him over her shoulder, but he was staring at his sister, looking at her as if she was more of a stranger to him than ever before. "You put Felicity in danger. She could've gotten hurt tonight—she _did_ get hurt tonight...what were you thinking?" His tone was harsh, making them all freeze. "Did you not see the six security guards we had there, ready to protect _you_?" He raised his eyebrows at his sister. "And you knew the whole time that those reporters would launch all of that onto Felicity...but you just let it happen?"

"I didn't think it would be like that," Thea's wide eyes stared back at Oliver, her lip beginning to tremble. "I only told the one reporter. I didn't know they'd all jump on us, or Felicity, about it."

"Clearly you not thinking..." Oliver said lowly, "is a frequent problem around here."

"Oliver," Felicity let out his name with a sharp breath. 

Thea was already pulling back, crossing her arms and shrinking into herself. "No, he's right," the younger girl mumbled, retreating towards the door. The room suddenly felt unwelcome to Thea, and Oliver's annoyance hurt her. It hurt her feelings, and that made Felicity's heart ache. Felicity held her breath, hating that she, or rather a stupid photographer with a stupid slippery camera, had caused the tension between the siblings. She knew that if she hadn't gotten hurt, Oliver wouldn't be nearly as intense about the whole thing.

"Wait, Thea..." Felicity finally reached for her again, but Thea took off running, her feet stomping up the stairs.

As they heard her door slam and silence filled the room again, Moira sighed. She set her drink on the table and stood. Then her eyes narrowed on Oliver, unfazed but unimpressed. "You really must not remember anything," his mother mused. "Because I have never heard you speak to Thea like that. She always thought the world of you... Well, you wanted her to understand that you're not the brother she lost. I suppose you've just made that clear, Oliver."

Oliver sighed, looking at Felicity, but even she didn't have the words or energy to defend him. Thea had made a mistake, and even though Oliver had reacted out of concern for Felicity, he hadn't exactly been fair to Thea in the process. 

Letting her own harsh truth fall on her son's shoulders, Moira left the room without another word.

Exhausted, Felicity stepped towards Oliver, reaching for his hand and locking her fingers through his. "Come on," she whispered. "Let's go home."

"I should talk to Thea," he closed his eyes. Felicity touched his cheek, realizing that feeling overwhelmingly guilty was something he and Thea shared. Along with those giant, wonderful hearts.

Felicity nodded, tilting her head to look up at him. And Oliver's eyes softened as he looked down at her, his expression relaxing. He raised a finger, gently ghosting it over the band-aid on her forehead. "Let's talk to her together," Felicity's eyes closed as she whispered. "I know we can't tell her everything, but we need to find a way to make this right, Oliver...she just feels so, so—so," Felicity huffed, pouting up at him. "I don't know, but I don't like it. She's hurting."

He nodded in agreement, leaning down to press his forehead to hers. "You're right," he whispered. "Let's find a way."

Although they'd resolved themselves to helping Thea, possibly at the risk of their own lie...when they reached her room, the plan was out the window.

And apparently so was Thea.

Her bedroom was empty, and Oliver frowned as he called her name, checking the bathroom and then the hall again. But the open window seemed obvious. "Where would she have gone?" Oliver grumbled, pulling out his phone and dialing John's number. "She knows the press is all over us right now, why would she—yeah, Dig, Thea snuck out. Can you check with my mom and see where she could've gone? I know," he sighed, "let me know if you hear anything."

After hanging up with John, Oliver tried Thea, but unsurprisingly she didn't answer. Then he asked to borrow Felicity's phone and tried to reach her that way, but Thea didn't fall for it.

"Oh!" Felicity yelped, her hands flying to her head, flinching when she accidentally slapped the band-aid. 'God, I'm such an idiot."

"Felicity?" Oliver cocked his head to the side.

"I saw Thea when we were here for dinner," she explained. "I went to the bathroom, and I saw Thea through the window. She snuck out that night, too..."

Oliver's eyebrows furrowed, "why didn't you tell me?"

With a shrug, Felicity brushed it off. "She was meeting a boy. I figured it was that Roy guy who has your mom's panties in a bunch," Felicity pulled away from him, taking her phone back. "Have John ask Moira for Roy's last name. I'll get an address. I bet if we find him, we find Thea."

* * *

Oliver had been quiet ever since they left his mom's. He held her hand in the car, and sat with her on the couch for a while. And when she was ready for bed, he followed her right up the stairs. But he didn't say much, his mind still working through everything.

He turned the lights off while Felicity arranged the pillows, pulling the blankets back. And she watched him while he shed his pants and shirt, climbing in beside her.

Despite his quietness that he knew was starting to make Felicity worry, Oliver sighed and settled into the warm bed, staring up at the ceiling for a moment. And then he reached for her, his arm wrapping around her waist and his nose nestling into her hair.

There wasn't a single force on earth that would ever stop him from falling asleep just like this. That would ever keep her away from him again. And that truth was the thing that comforted him each night. Night after night until they both died old and happy and together. That was what he wanted. For H.I.V.E to be gone, for the world to be safe, and for a life with his soulmate free from threats.

Finally having Felicity back, being with her in every possible way they could find, it was the deepest sense of peace he'd ever felt. No matter how cluttered his mind was at times.

Felicity sighed as he kissed the nape of her neck, a low and happy hum passing her lips.

She felt safe there. Protected. But she could also sense that something felt off with him. He knew that his behavior that night had bothered her, but he wasn't quite sure how to express his thoughts without hurting her feelings.

"What's wrong?" Felicity finally asked into the darkness, realizing that neither of them were going to get any sleep until he confessed.

She tilted her head in his direction, waiting for an answer.

Oliver's nose trailed up her throat, rubbing against her jaw. "Felicity..." he whispered, peppering her face with kisses.

"Tell me, Oliver," she whispered back.

With a long sigh, Oliver tightened his arm around her, hugging her closer to his chest. "I just wish you would have told me about my sister sneaking out the other night, that's all."

Felicity frowned, wiggling around until she could face him. "You're angry with me?"

He shook his head quickly, his fingers coming up to brush her hair out of her face. "I'm not angry," he answered quietly, his eyes softening as he looked back at her, his fingers gentle. "I'm just...afraid, I guess. All of this with H.I.V.E...the city's not safe. I don't like the idea of Thea being out there alone."

She nodded seriously, "you're right. I should have told you. I'm sorry."

His eyes slipped shut as he leaned in to push his forehead against hers. "Please don't apologize," Oliver mumbled.

There was guilt there.

He knew it was hypocritical of him to get upset about her keeping something from him...after he'd allowed her to believe he was dead for five years. As far as honesty went, he still had years of her pain to make up for. To mend. So the last thing Oliver wanted to do was chastise her for something so small, compared to what he'd done.

"It honestly just slipped my mind, Oliver. I wasn't thinking about H.I.V.E when I saw Thea and Roy together." He opened his eyes to see the smile he could hear in her voice. "I was thinking about us. They reminded me of how we were as kids. Secret romance and all that. I was always locking myself in my room just so I could close my eyes and talk to you."

Her smile widened, "your sister loves Roy Harper."

Oliver scowled, "now hold on..." he pointed a playful finger at Felicity's face, "just because you saw her sneaking off with him and it made you think of _us_...and just because we found her at his house tonight...does not mean that my baby sister is in love."

She grabbed his finger, kissing it as she mumbled, "it was more than that." Felicity sighed, bringing his hand around her head, urging him to run his fingers through her hair, and he happily obliged. Felicity practically purred, curling up under his arm. "You didn't see how happy she looked to be with him a few days ago. Or the look on her face whenever she looked at Roy tonight. She loves him, Oliver."

He huffed, not pleased with the words. And Felicity laughed. She ran her thumb across his bottom lip, the frown that she didn't need to open her eyes to know was there. His fingers soothed her right towards sleep, finally grumbling a dissatisfied "fine," at the idea of Thea falling in love with Roy. It also didn't help that Felicity had referred to the kid as "an abercrombie model" when they'd showed up at his house in the Glades to get Thea.

As Felicity's breathing began to slow, Oliver closed his eyes, lazily dragging his hand down her back.

"You're allowed to be angry with me, you know." Felicity mumbled sleepily after a while, cuddling into his arms like she couldn't get close enough. He opened his eyes to look down at her, shaking his head even though she couldn't see him. "We're soulmates," Felicity continued, "that means we're perfect for each other...not that we have to _be_ perfect."

"I know," he breathed, closing his eyes again when Felicity buried her face in his neck, her nose rubbing against his skin.

"Good, because I have a bone to pick with you, too."

Oliver grinned, "oh, you do?"

"Yeah," she squeezed him tighter. "Your mother hates me. _I feel_...that you should make her not hate me."

"My mother doesn't hate you, she just doesn't know you," Oliver kissed her head, careful not to touch the band-aid as he brushed his lips through her hair. "No one could hate you."

When Felicity pulled back, Oliver instinctively held her closer. But she just looked up at him and frowned. "Oh my sweet delusional boyfriend...your mom probably hates every girl that's ever looked at you." Her eyes widened, looking at him. "Is there a weird Norma/Norman thing I don't know about? Because she's weirdly protective of you. Plus that castle is about as creepy as the Bates Motel."

He chuckled, kissing her head again, right where his favorite, adorable little crease formed every time she pouted. 

Sighing, Felicity snuggled back into his neck, her fingers trailing over his bare chest until she fell asleep.

Before Oliver could do the same, the muffled sound of the front door being shut snapped him right awake.

Felicity's head was on his shoulder, her body completely still like nothing had happened. Oliver froze, trying to decipher if he'd dreamed it. But then he heard shuffling, footsteps below them, and Felicity's hand tapped frantically against his chest, letting him know that she was awake and she'd heard it, too.

"Stay here," he whispered, standing up on the bed.

Oliver quickly moved the ceiling tile where he'd hidden his gun, taking it out and dropping to the floor, leaving the bedroom on silent feet. 

Knowing Felicity...Oliver wasn't all that surprised that by the time he reached the stairs, she was plastered against his back. Her eyes were wide as she latched onto him. Still, he tossed her a look over his shoulder, tightening the gun in one hand and reaching to anchor the other on her hip, keeping her firmly behind him.

As they slowly descended the stairs, Oliver raised his gun, finding the shadowed figure instantly. 

A man sat on Felicity's couch, her computer open in front of him and the screen displaying the hit list that H.I.V.E called The Hunt. But it wasn't until Felicity gasped his name that Oliver recognized him.

Ray Palmer turned to look at them at the sound of Felicity's voice. He glanced at the gun first, which Oliver didn't dare to lower, keeping it aimed straight between his eyes.

Felicity didn't budge, hiding behind Oliver's back as she peeked over his shoulder at Ray. And their guest stared back at them, not fazed by the gun and not a trace of surprise on his face as he saw them together, clearly having jumped out of bed to see who had broken in.

So, Palmer knew about them.

Oliver cocked the gun, prepared to kill the intruder if he so much as _looked_ at Felicity in a malicious way.

Making a face at the gun, Ray waved it off passively, then his eyes focused on Felicity. "I think it's time we talk."

"Phones are a good way reach someone you want to _talk_ to," Felicity snapped. "Breaking and entering is a reason to shoot you."

At that, Palmer just smiled. He gestured to the computer, "well, once H.I.V.E told me that you're one of those...things...I realized that your visit to my office the other day probably wasn't so innocent. I suspected you had this," he wagged his finger at the hit list. "I just wanted to be sure. I doubt you would've told me if I'd just simply called, right?" Ray raised his eyebrows, his tone sarcastic. "All you do is lie, anyway."

"What do you want?" Felicity gasped.

"Right now..." Ray laughed, "a time ship, so I can go back and stop myself from ever dating one of you monsters. Whatever you call yourselves..."

"Your masters at H.I.V.E call us variants," Felicity shot back, her fingers digging into Oliver's shoulder.

And Oliver smoothed his hand on her hip, silently asking her to stop taunting the threat who had just broken into their home in the middle of the night.

Ray shook his head, "I know. It's a nicer term than what I would call your kind. 'variant' doesn't seem to capture the disgusting, inhuman habits of your species."

"Get out," Felicity seethed, her breath catching in her throat. Oliver had experience being treated like an animal. Like he wasn't human. H.I.V.E was full of cowardly bigots. But of course, the dripping hatred in Ray's voice, directed at her, was new to Felicity. Shocking. and Oliver could feel how much Ray's words stung her; as someone she'd once trusted and even defended when Rory and the others had learned about Ray's participation with H.I.V.E. 

Calmly, Ray closed the laptop, leaning back on her couch. "Don't you want to know what I know?"

"Seems pretty clear that you're not on my side here, Ray. So get the hell out."

He just sighed, and Oliver gently nudged Felicity away, coming down the stairs to stand above Ray where he sat on the couch. "Give me one reason not to kill you right here," he growled, bending down to press the gun against Ray's head.

To his credit, Ray Palmer stared back, unflinching. "I didn't know the extent of H.I.V.E's conspiracy when I got involved with them. They sought me out after my wife was killed... _murdered_ , by monsters like you," his voice was full of disgust that he didn't try to hide. "There were two of them that stopped Anna and I on the street one night. Five years ago. A man and a woman. And," Ray shook his head at the memory, "I couldn't explain the things they did to her. They were...sick. Unhinged lunatics. They killed my wife with  _joy_ , and they made me watch.

And then they left me tied up in an ally with her body at my feet, for hours, before someone finally found us."

Oliver narrowed his eyes, far too familiar with with H.I.V.E's games to lower his weapon. To let his guard down or believe a word out of Ray Palmer's mouth.

But Ray carried on with his story, the gun still pushing against his skull, yet he barely seemed to care. "After that, someone from H.I.V.E reached out to me. They told me about their organization and its research and explained that the two criminals who had killed my wife were what they referred to as 'variants.' Some kind of separate species who passed as human. They told me that the world was full of them. And whenever they found each other, their other half...they become just like those ruthless monsters that killed Anna. H.I.V.E told me that they were trying to stop it, and that they could use my help. That's why I signed on with them. I created The Hunt and I funded it. I never wanted anyone to lose someone like I lost my wife. The murderers that attacked her, it was like they were on some twisted Bonnie and Clyde killing spree. It didn't matter what I said that night...I knew as soon as they got their hands on Anna that they'd kill her."

Despite Oliver's hesitation, Ray's story was familiar. He was certain Caitlin had told him about a pair of soulmates just like Ray described. Two people who were linked by a bond just like the rest of them, but when they found each other...all hell broke loose. They brought out the worst in each other, rather than the best, because their true selves were psychotic killers. All the connection had done was convince them that they didn't need to hide who they were. Caitlin had also told him that H.I.V.E used it like a ghost story. An isolated example of fear and destruction to scare recruits into joining them. If the 'Bonnie and Clyde' type soulmates had killed Palmer's wife...H.I.V.E had what they needed to make a perfect storm. And make a benefactor out of Ray Palmer.

"So H.I.V.E told you that all of us," Felicity whispered, coming down into the room, "everyone they identified as a variant, was like _that_?"

Ray nodded, his eyes shifting between Oliver and Felicity as if he was waiting for one of them to shape-shift into a werewolf and start howling at the moon.

Eventually, Oliver removed the gun from the man's head. Not that he wasn't still considering killing him. They would definitely be looking into Palmer's story.

"I believed them, and I'm not even sure if I still do or not. But until recently..." Ray sighed, "I thought that my money was going towards H.I.V.E's bigger picture. Not a hit list. I thought that they were using my algorithms to identify variant energy, to find them and bring them in so we could conduct tests...research that could help us find a way to control their power." He closed his eyes, "I didn't know that H.I.V.E was slaughtering them."

"What changed?" Oliver asked.

"This," Ray reached into his jacket, and Oliver instantly raised the gun again.

Holding his hands up in surrender, Ray kept his eyes on Oliver's, slowly moving again. He pulled out an envelope from his coat pocket. "I got this letter on my doorstep the night after you came to my office, Felicity."

She came over to Oliver's side, reading the page over his shoulder. 

The letter outed Oliver and Felicity as 'variants,' but it also detailed H.I.V.E's crimes; throwing the organization right under the bus for all of the violence, kidnapping, and death they'd plagued the world with.

Ray wrung his hands together while Oliver and Felicity read the letter. "I knew that the members weren't exactly boy scouts," he whispered, "but I didn't think they were god damn terrorists. I thought we were doing something good for the world...like how the government hides the existence of aliens and mermaids and Big Foot from us!" Ray shook his head, running his fingers through his hair. "Children are being stolen from their homes while their parents sleep, people going missing without a trace, mass genocide...H.I.V.E is as bad as the enemies I thought I was fighting." 

"We're not your enemy, Ray," Felicity breathed, stepping towards him. But Oliver grabbed her hand, yanking her back with a low growl.

They didn't have any kind of hard proof that Palmer's story was legit, and until they did, Oliver didn't trust him.

Felicity's eyes snapped up to his, giving him an irritated look, but she stayed a safe distance from Ray, so Oliver didn't mind.

"I know what I saw the night that my wife died," Ray's eyes narrowed at both of them. "That kind of evil...it needs to be stopped."

Oliver leaned a little closer, "I don't really care to convince you that 'my kind' aren't all evil. _People_ are capable of terrible things, Palmer. And it sure as hell isn't my job to teach that to a grown man. So, you can either tell us what you want, or I can put a bullet in your brain and do the world a favor by cutting off H.I.V.E from its supply of blood money." 

"The things that H.I.V.E has done," Ray stared at each of them, "and the fact that they've lied to me...is reason enough for me to have doubts. I know you, Felicity. The woman I fell for...is certainly not one of the monsters I told myself I was trying to protect the world from. So, I suppose that's something I have to come to terms with. Maybe I was wrong, and maybe I aided in the deaths of god knows how many innocent lives. And if there's even a chance that my money has been used to execute innocent people...well, then that's why I'm here. To be your Trojan Horse. To help you stop H.I.V.E."


	20. The Storming

Oliver refused to turn the radio on.

He knew how much Felicity hated silence, and he could see her out of the corner of his eye as he drove. She picked at her fingernails, chewing on her bottom lip while she stared out of her window blankly, watching the city through the droplets of rain. He'd been hoping that if he embraced her unusually quiet mood, she'd give in and talk to him.

But Felicity only seemed to be falling deeper into her thoughts.

Frowning, Oliver took his eyes off the road, slowly sliding his hand to her knee. Felicity sighed as he squeezed it, her hand dropping on top of his, but she didn't turn her head to look at him. "Felicity," he broke the silence.

Felicity's fingers gripped his, and she finally offered him her eyes. His gaze flickered from the road to her face. "Talk to me, baby..." he whispered. "Please."

She nodded, her lip raw when she finally stopped chewing on it. "Ray is mean,"

His mouth opened and closed, waiting for her to continue. But she didn't.

"Ray is a narrow-minded asshole," Oliver grumbled back. He'd suspected that Felicity's mood was either due to Ray Palmer or her father. In all selfish honesty, he'd been hoping it was the latter. The last thing Oliver wanted to discuss with Felicity was Palmer. As if the thought of Felicity's ex-boyfriend wasn't bad enough... Of course the guy wasn't going away. Of course Felicity was worried. And of course Oliver really just wanted him to go away.

"He experienced something traumatic, Oliver," Felicity said quietly, defending Palmer even as she was upset by him, and Oliver had to bite his lip to keep from snapping back. "He saw something he didn't understand, and he was afraid. H.I.V.E took that fear and they manipulated him."

Choosing his words carefully, Oliver paused before speaking. "What happened to his wife was awful. What happened to _him_  was awful." He sighed, "look, Felicity...every decision Ray made since that night...can't just be excused and forgotten. The world has bad people. And yes, H.I.V.E took advantage of Ray's vulnerability. But they didn't force his hand. Ray made his own choices when he agreed to work with them. He's not some innocent kid who didn't know what he was doing."

"You clearly don't know Ray," Felicity mumbled. Then she sighed, playing with his fingers as she shook her head. "I don't think its that simple, Oliver."

In response, he shrugged. "Ray allowed his anger and his fear to control him. He knew something was off about H.I.V.E and he ignored it because they told him what he wanted to hear. I'm not trying to be harsh here, but _Ray_ has to take responsibility for that," Oliver's eyes flickered to Felicity, her face shadowed in the passing streetlights. "And you need to let him."

"What if it were me?"

His shoulders stiffened, "excuse me?"

"What if I'd been brutally murdered in front of you, what would you have done about it?" Felicity explained, and Oliver shot her a sharp look. She gave him one right back.

As Oliver glanced back at the road, his hand tightened on her thigh and he answered, "it's different for us, Felicity," he sighed, "you know that."

"No," she frowned. "I don't know that. Ray and his wife may not have had a connection like we do, but he loved her. And he lost her. I knew what it felt like to lose you, Oliver... You can't fault me for sympathizing."

Pinching his lips together, Oliver let her words sink in. "I'm not faulting you for it, honey," he said quietly. "If that had been us...I would have needed to find the truth. And once I did, I would have made everyone responsible for it suffer. But I wouldn't believe a bunch of strangers without question. And I wouldn't have thrown my money at an organization that I didn't understand. Financed them without actually knowing what I was doing."

Felicity let out a long breath, her head falling back on the seat. "Yeah, I guess that's the part I keep thinking about. If some secret organization had approached me and said there's a whole population of people who are evil killers, I would've at least been skeptical."

Bringing her hand to his mouth, Oliver kissed her fingers as he spoke quietly, "Ray believed what he needed to believe."

"And now we have to decide if _we_ can believe _him_ ," she whispered back.

Oliver just nodded, both of them knowing that there was nothing they could do without more information. They needed a way to know if they could trust Ray, but testing his loyalty wasn't a simple thing. There were too many factors. Too many ways that someone they loved could get hurt if Ray was lying to them.

His instincts told him not to trust Palmer, but in all honesty, Oliver wasn't sure if he could rely on that instinct, since he also recognized a very big part of himself that hated the guy simply because Felicity had dated him.

Felicity's soft laugh pulled him from his thoughts, and he looked down at her just as her hand grazed his cheek. Felicity smiled, her thumb running over his eyebrow. "It's my turn to brood," she teased, "save yours for later."

Just as she intended, Oliver couldn't help but smile.

Curling her legs up onto the seat, Felicity hugged his arm, resting her head on his shoulder. "We should meet with John and Lyla," she mumbled, sounding as tired as he felt. "So we can decide what to do about Ray."

He kissed the top of her head, "I'll talk to John later. I'm sure they'll want to come by tomorrow."

"Tomorrow's good," Felicity cuddled her head closer, "we're probably in for a long night, anyway."

And Oliver hoped she was wrong about that. They were both exhausted. He'd make sure they got home as soon as possible. "Did your mom say what she wanted?" Felicity asked.

Oliver shook his head, "no, she didn't. Maybe to tell me what a bad brother I am to Thea."

Felicity groaned, "that woman really knows how to cut deep with her words." Felicity picked her head up, looking up at him until he met her eyes. "You're not a bad brother...you know that, right?"

In response, he gave a noncommittal shrug, looking back at the road. But he didn't need to be looking at his soulmate to see her eyes narrowing. "Hey," she said gently, her tone soothing. Her fingers did the same; carding through his hair. "Everything you've done has been to protect the people you love. Thea may not understand that right now, but she loves you."

"I know," Oliver breathed. "I just wish I hadn't missed so much of her life. She's so different than I remember her," he tried to smile, but he knew by Felicity's fingers tightening in his hair that it was a sad attempt. "When you and I found each other again, it was like those five years apart had only been five seconds. I knew in the bottom of my heart that nothing between us had changed. Not the way I felt about you, I mean. But...I look at Thea and I just—I feel like I barely know my own sister anymore." 

"Mm," Felicity hummed, watching his face while he watched the road. Her hand slid down his neck, "so get to know her."

He paused for a moment, taking in her words. Then he glanced at her, smiling gently with that special look in his eyes. "Have I told you lately how damn smart you are?"

Felicity bit her lip, her head cocking to the side as she pushed her glasses into their rightful place. "I never get tired of hearing it."

Shaking his head, Oliver wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close as he slowed down, turning onto the mansion's driveway. He felt Felicity shiver, her eyes focused on the massive castle just like each time before. "It's creepier like this," she grumbled.

Oliver shrugged, parking close to the door since the rain had grown heavier during their drive.

They made their way inside, Oliver doing his best to shield Felicity as they jogged to the door. The guards let them right in, but his mother wasn't in the entryway waiting to greet them like she had been before. 

Taking Felicity's hand, Oliver followed the guard who waved them along, leading them to Moira's study.

When they entered the room, his mother was seated at her desk, glancing up as they came in. "Oliver, Felicity," Mrs. Queen stood up, telling the guard to close the door. And Felicity's hand tightened in his. Oliver squeezed it back, giving her a look that he knew would convey his thought of _'relax, my mom didn't call us here to hack us with a chainsaw.'_

Understanding him, Felicity snorted out a laugh, and they both composed themselves as Moira's narrowed eyes shifted between them. "I'm sorry to call," she moved towards the window, "looks like the storm is getting worse. I hope the drive over was okay."

"It was fine," Oliver answered, preparing himself for the inevitable small talk his mother always insisted on, rather than getting to the point.

Although for her, it wasn't really small talk. It was assessing. It was stalling. It was a shark circling its prey and trying to find the right moment to strike. 

"Can I have Raisa get you anything?" Moira asked, looking between the two of them. "Water, coffee, tea?"

"No," Oliver pursed his lips. "Thank you...we're okay." He wasn't interested in skirting around for another hour until she finally said what she wanted to say. "What's going on? What did you need to talk to us about?"

Moira nodded, giving him a brief smile before she reached into her desk and pulled out a file. "I wanted to keep this from you, Oliver. You already have so much going on...but it seems I can't hide it anymore."

Oliver took the file hesitantly, not opening it, keeping his eyes on his mother instead. "What is it?"

"It's all the information Armor Industries has been able to gather on a man named Alex Hertell," Moira answered.

Felicity stiffened beside him, but thankfully didn't react.

"I thought that we'd be able to keep Thea and the both of you safe without needing to worry you, but unfortunately that's not the case. Alex Hertell has been digging into our family for the last few months. I had Armor do the same to him, and I warned Mr. Diggle last week because I feared that this man may try to hurt you...but he's practically a ghost. There are no records of his existence older than ten years ago. And worst of all...I have no idea what he wants with this family."

"What's changed?" Oliver asked carefully, "why are you telling me this now?"

"He's the reason I was so adamant about you staying at the mansion, Oliver. I have no idea what Mr. Hertell is capable of. And an enemy who I know nothing about...well, that terrifies me." Oliver softened a bit, seeing the fear in his mother's eyes before she could glance away. But she composed herself, straightening her shoulders, and when she looked back at him, she looked just as strong. "I'm telling you now because he broke in late last night while Thea and I were sleeping."

Oliver froze, staring at her for a moment. "What?"

Moira nodded, letting out a long breath, her hand shaking as she waved it at the file. "My team is still trying to figure out how he got through the security alarms. He was in and out of here within ten minutes."

"Did he—" Felicity's voice cracked, "did he take anything? I mean, was there something he came to steal?"

"That I don't know," Moira answered lowly. "Armor is looking into it, combing through all of Queen Manor's inventory. And there's nothing that I've noticed missing. They seem to think that he was either here for something and we haven't found out what it is yet...or he was testing the system."

Felicity's eyebrows furrowed, "testing your security system?"

Mrs. Queen nodded gravely. "They think he may have been preparing for a later break-in. Learning the house and how to do...whatever it is he's come here to do."

"He didn't hurt you or Thea? Didn't even go near your rooms?" Oliver clarified, and Moira shook her head.

Watching his mother for another moment, Oliver tried to relax. Felicity's dad might've been a selfish asshole who abandoned his own daughter, and he was clearly involved in something shady, but that didn't mean he was out to kill his family. 

Still, with the way their lives worked, Oliver wasn't going to risk it.

"I'll stay tonight," he said quietly, meeting Felicity's eyes. She cocked her head to the side, frowning slightly. "Lyla can come pick Felicity up and stay at the apartment with her," he nodded once while Felicity's frown deepened. "I'll stay with you and Thea."

"Sweetheart, that's not why I told you this," Moira shook her head. "There's nothing you could do to protect us that Armor can't take care of." Oliver pursed his lips, knowing that _that_ wasn't true. "They're prepared to handle it if Alex Hertell comes back. I just wanted you both to be aware...especially now that the media has linked Ms. Smoak to you. And I wanted you to look at this file—"

The door swung open and Thea popped her head in, "mom?" Her gaze flew between Oliver and Felicity as she noticed them. Then her eyes widened, "I'm sorry, I didn't know you guys were here..." Thea hesitated, sensing the tension in the room. "Is everything okay?"

"Of course, sweetheart," Moira answered quickly. "Did you need something?"

“No...just saying goodnight."

Moira smiled, "okay. Goodnight, dear."

"Night, Thea," Felicity offered, squeezing Oliver's hand until he did the same.

Thea's eyes narrowed as she watched them. "Okay," she crossed her arms, "what's going on?" As they all stared at her, she rolled her eyes. "Fine, I can take a hint. More family secrets that I'm not allowed to know. Awesome.”

Knowing she wouldn't get any answers, Thea slammed the door, and Oliver knew she'd be stomping to her room to stew.

“I'm assuming Thea knows nothing about this," Oliver grumbled. Moira closed her eyes, shaking her head. He sighed, letting go of Felicity's hand. "I should go talk to her...”

Handing Moira back the file, Oliver met his mom's eyes in a hard glare. "Be nice to Felicity," he warned her lowly, "I'll be right back."

* * *

"Ms. Smoak," Moira turned to Felicity as soon as the door shut behind Oliver. And Felicity held her breath, forcing herself to stand a little bit taller. To look a little bit less like a terrified deer caught in the headlights of a semi-truck. "Would you like me to call Lyla to take you back to your apartment?"

If Oliver was staying, she was staying. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

As Felicity shook her head, Moira smiled like she expected the answer. "Well, it appears we're in for a long night, then." Felicity bit back a groan as Moira echoed her earlier prediction. _She'd jinxed it. Totally jinxed it._ "How about some coffee?"

_Yeah, sure, as long as it didn't come with a spoonful of poison._

"Okay," Felicity yelped, nodding quickly. At least making coffee would give them something to do other than sitting in that room while they glared at each other. She followed Moira out of the study, trailing behind as she glided through the mansion like she owned the place.

Of course, she did own it, but Felicity still had a hard time seeing it as a home. The woman called it 'Queen Manor' for google's sake.

When they reached the kitchen, Moira moved through it just as naturally, and that surprised Felicity even more. She gestured for Felicity to take a seat, and then she started a pot of coffee. In truth, if Felicity wasn't watching it with her own two eyes, she might have been skeptical that the woman knew how to work a coffee maker. 

"I'm not completely inadequate with these kinds of things, Ms. Smoak," Moira tossed her a look over her shoulder as the coffee began to fill the pot.

Felicity met her eyes, gaping for a moment until she realized that her thoughts hadn't stayed inside her head like they were supposed to. She squeezed her eyes shut, "I'm sorry, Mrs. Queen!" Felicity pressed her palm to her forehead, feeling her face grow red.

"It's all right," Moira answered, and Felicity opened her eyes to see Oliver's mom smiling. The woman shook her head fondly, much like Oliver did sometimes. "You may not be the kind of woman I pictured for my son...but I can see how happy you make him, Felicity."

_And a back sided compliment she would take..._

"He deserves to be happy," Felicity mumbled back, not meeting her eyes.

"He does," Moira sighed. "As much as I might hate to admit it," she continued, "Oliver has changed a lot since I saw him last. I can see why he fell for you."

Finally looking at her, Felicity offered a smile. Back sided or not, it was probably the nicest thing his mother would ever say to her. "Thank you, Mrs. Queen."

She returned the smile, nodding once. "Just be sure to take good care of each other. There are so many dangers we never see coming. You have to protect each other..."

There was something about the way she spoke that caught Felicity's attention. "What do you mean..." she began to ask, thinking about H.I.V.E. She tried to find of the right way to phrase her words that would push Moira to say more without allowing herself to get caught in her own web of lies. Because she and Oliver had spun plenty of them, and the last thing they needed was his mother doubting them.

Yet, it didn't matter, because before Felicity could press the subject, the lights in the kitchen went out, leaving her in the darkness with Moira Queen.

* * *

Oliver took a deep breath as he knocked on his little sister's bedroom door.

The last time he'd been there, she'd already escaped out of her window. So Oliver pushed the door open, peeking inside. "Thea?"

As he entered her room, Thea scrambled off her bed, wiping her eyes quickly. Oliver blinked at her while she tried to hide her tears. "What do you want, Ollie?"

"Thea...what's wrong?"

His sister stared at him incredulously, standing across the room as he hovered in her doorway, not taking a step in, and not one out.

She threw her arms to the side. "I'm so sick of all the lies in this family!" Thea burst. "Mom can't seem to stop, she lies more than she tells the truth. And then you come back here, and you don't even _remember_ me, and you're still lying to me!" He watched as frustrated tears welled up in her eyes again. "It's not fair!"

Finally coming in, Oliver stepped towards her, seeing how hurt and angry his little sister was. He pulled Thea into his arms, forgetting for a moment. Allowing himself to stop micromanaging himself; his reactions and his emotions. He hugged Thea tight, "I'm sorry," he breathed. "You're right, none of this is fair to you."

"It's not fair to any of us," she sniffled on his chest. "But for some reason, I'm still the only one whose alone in all of it..."

Oliver tightened his arms around her, realizing how small she still was, despite her big, sassy personality.

He pressed his lips to her hair, closing his eyes. "You're not alone, Speedy," Oliver whispered. "I know it feels that way...but you're not. I'm here. Mom would do anything for you. I'm pretty sure you even have Felicity wrapped around your finger." Thea pulled back, but Oliver didn't notice how tense she was...the way her wide eyes searched his...

Instead, he ran his thumbs over her cheeks, wiping the tears. "By the way, I owe you an apology."

She blinked up at him, but Oliver didn't realize how pale she'd gotten. "For what?" Thea whimpered.

"What I said the other night," he sighed. "I was out of line, and I'm sorry I was so hard on you."

"Forgiven," Thea gasped, her breathless tone finally settling on him.

Oliver furrowed his eyebrows at her, the way she stared up at him like she was seeing a ghost. But he didn't have time to ask, because before he could, the lights went out.

* * *

"It's just the storm," Felicity muttered to herself, using the flashlight on her cell phone as she walked through one of the eerily empty and dark hallways of the Queen mansion.

She had a handful of candlesticks in her other hand, on an assigned mission from Moira to collect them. 

Felicity reached a decorative side table at the end of the hall, knowing that just like the others she'd found, it would contain emergency candles that Moira kept for situations like this. Felicity opened the drawer, pulling out the candles.

Lightning cracked through the sky, lighting up the creepy hallway for a brief moment, and giving her a view of trees whipping in the wind just outside the massive window in front of her.

The rain was pounding against the roof, harder than before. Outside the window, it came down sideways and harsh. And Felicity closed her eyes, composing herself. In the moments that the rain subsided, the sound of the roaring wind took its place. 

The mansion was solid, not about to be easily knocked down, but the windows were rattling.

"It's just a storm," she reminded herself again.

Felicity stepped back, gripping the candles as she stared up at the massive stained glass, realizing that with winds and wild rain like this, the windows very well could break.

She took another few steps away. She had a good fistful of candles, hoping the stash would be enough, making her way back to the kitchen.

Just as she turned on her heel, hurrying through the hall, thunder clapped, and it scared the hell out of her. 

Felicity screamed, feeling the floor shake beneath her and the booming noise echo in her ears. The candles flew out of her hand, or rather she flung them, when a second, louder crash of thunder roared.

"Frack!" Felicity tried to catch her breath, covering her racing heart with her hand. She breathed slowly, rolling her eyes at herself as she bent down to pick up the candles.

"It's just a storm," Felicity reminded herself again. 

Getting to her feet, Felicity nodded to herself, more than ready to find her way back to living, breathing people. Even if it was Moira Queen.

The ice queen  and her analyzing glares were better than the ghosts she was nearly convinced lived in the mansion.

Felicity made it three steps before she felt an arm wrap around her from behind.

And she didn't have a chance to scream before a hand clamped down on her mouth. 

The candles went flying again, covering the floor, but her assailant didn't care.

Her elbow jolted back instinctively, and she heard a man grunt. But he didn't slow down, dragging her backwards as she kicked and clawed. It was too dark to see where they were going.

But Felicity felt her heart sink into her stomach when he shoved through the door and pulled her into the backyard.

She kicked more. Her nails dug into his arms harder. Rain drenched her before he'd even taken her ten feet.

It came down in sheets, making it impossible to see. But she was hoping that would work to her advantage.

Felicity opened her mouth and bit his hand. He cursed, but didn't remove it.

"Just stop," the man's voice grumbled in her ear, audible even through the storm.

Because yeah, _that_ was going to make her stop fighting. Felicity continued to flail against him, trying to get his hand off her face so she could scream. 

He was dragging her into the woods behind the house, and she finally began to panic when she realized that this was H.I.V.E coming to deliver Oliver's worst nightmare.

She wouldn't make it out of those woods.

* * *

“Something’s wrong,” Oliver mumbled while he and Thea searched her room for a flashlight. His chest felt tight with worry, but it was more than the power going out. It was more than a mere, overprotective concern for Felicity, knowing how she felt about the mansion and how much she must be hating the situation; alone in the dark home with his mother.

It was something else.

Something _wrong_.

"Thea," he gave up his search, turning to his sister. "I need to find Felicity, are you okay here?"

She moved quickly to his side, "I'll come with you."

Oliver let out a breathy laugh as Thea clung to his arm, looking at her own room as if the darkness and the storm suddenly made the space haunted or something. "Okay," he tried to joke, not wanting to scare her or get himself worked up over nothing. For all he knew, he was just feeling Felicity's anxiety and mixing it with his own, making him feel even more on edge than he needed to be.

Thea stayed glued to his side as they made their way down the hallway. He glanced down at her, shaking his head when thunder boomed through the house and she gripped his arm even tighter.

They turned the corner into the kitchen, and collide with someone going the opposite way.

It only took Oliver a moment to clock that the figure was a man. A strong one.

And to see the hood over his head.

In the next moment, Oliver was shoving Thea back, away from the man. And then he had the stranger by the throat, pinning him against the wall in the kitchen. Thea screamed, and a flash of lightning revealed the intruder's face.

"Roy?" Oliver and Thea asked in unison.

Harper tapped on Oliver's hand, getting him to let go. And the kid rubbed his throat, catching his breath as he shoved his hood back on his head. His wide eyes shifted from Oliver, finding Thea. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Thea nodded. "We just lost power."

"What are you doing here?" Oliver growled, still glaring at the kid. 

Roy lifted his hands in surrender, "Thea texted me to come meet her,"

"Hey!" His sister slapped Roy's arm. "Throw me under the bus!"

"Uh," Roy pouted at her, rubbing his arm where she'd hit him. "I think we've been caught."

Oliver sucked in a breath, closing his eyes and calling on all of his patience. "Have you seen our mom or Felicity?"

In response, Roy shook his head.

Glancing around the kitchen, Oliver noticed the pot of coffee on the counter before the smell of it had registered. And he frowned at the steaming pot. "Where did they go?" He huffed, talking more to himself. And his heart picked up speed again.

Without waiting for a response, Oliver took off down the hall again, hearing Roy and Thea at his heels, but he ignored them. 

Two minutes later, he turned a corner in the west wing, where the guest bedrooms were, glancing down the hallway.

He knew that neither Felicity or Moira had any reason to wander that way, and he was about to turn back around, until he noticed the candles on the floor.

They were scattered across the carpet in a mess, as if someone had thrown them...or dropped them and ran.

Thea stepped around him, picking one up and looking both ways.

"Mom?" Thea called into the darkness, stepping further into the hall.

As Thea called for Moira again, a gust of wind pushed against the stone walls, making the glass window thud and whine.

Oliver caught Thea's hand before she got too close, seeing that the wretched storm was strong enough to bust the glass.

"Take Roy and go back to your room," he instructed, looking back down at the candles as his stomach dropped. "And stay away from the windows."

He that the feeling overtaking him was _bad_.

And it was about Felicity.

* * *

Across the mansion, Moira Queen was crawling across the floor of her office. 

Her blood-stained fingers stretched towards her phone that had fallen off her desk and landed next to the chair.

"Please," she pleaded, hearing the footsteps coming towards her. "Please don't take it."

A black boot stepped on her hand, stopping her before she could reach the phone. She closed her eyes, listening as he picked the lamp up from her desk. He kept his foot on her hand, her fingers being crushed.

Moira knew what was coming...and she squeezed her eyes shut while her attacker inhaled.

In no rush at all.

His calm movements only made Moira more terrified. Only made her realize that the floor of her office might truly be the last thing she saw. She winced, hearing him lift the lamp above her head.

And then he swung.

* * *

The dragging finally ceased, just a few yards into the woods. The mansion was still in view.

Felicity fought harder, knowing that if she could get the jump on the guy, then she still stood a chance of making it back to the house. To Oliver.

With a jolt of energy, seeing her escape, Felicity bit the hand over her mouth again, much harder now.

She tasted his blood while she listened to a whole string of curses this time.

He let go of her mouth, but then both of his arms were around her, restricting her and making it impossible to get away. 

"Felicity, stop!" She recognized the voice, but she didn't quite know it.

Her body froze, tilting her head back slowly. And she had to blink to see through the rain, to see his face.

Tommy Merlyn stared back down at her.

"I'm not going to hurt you."

His grip loosened slightly, his eyes meeting hers as both of their faces were covered in rain, his breath heavy on her cheek. And Felicity kept her gaze locked on his, staying perfectly still. And as she settled, his arms loosened a little more.

"Like hell!" Felicity yelled as soon as she felt him release her, throwing her fist as hard as she could into his stomach.

Tommy let her go, and she ran as fast as she could, focusing on the house and unfortunately ignoring her own feet.

Felicity made it about halfway back to the Queen's before she tripped. Her foot slipped, catching the wet leaves just right, and she tumbled onto her stomach. Her knees and arms skimmed through the dirt. Catching her breath, she crawled forward, wanting to keep moving until she could get to her feet again to run.

A moment later, Tommy grabbed her leg, making her scream and kick at him wildly.

"Stop!" He hollered through the storm. "Felicity, just listen to me!" When she didn't, continuing to fight as she yelled for help, praying that being closer to the mansion meant someone would hear her, Tommy let out a frustrated sound. He twisted her leg, flipping her onto her back on the muddy ground.

Rain came down onto her face in harsh droplets as he pulled her closer. But it only lasted a moment, and then Tommy was on top of her. He lowered his weight onto her, his legs on either side of her, pinning her down.

And when she reached for his face, her nails ready to gouge his eyeballs out she was so angry in that moment, he caught her wrists and pushed them roughly to the ground. "I don't want to hurt you!" He insisted. "But you need to stop beating the hell out of me, Smoak!"

Felicity squirmed against him, trying to push him off. "Dragging me out here suggests otherwise!" The more she fought, the harder his hands gripped her wrists. "Let me _go_!"

"I needed to talk to you without Oliver being around, and I knew there was no other way to get you alone!"

" _Oh_ , okay!" She sassed back, her tone sarcastic. She turned her hands over to dig her nails into his palms. Tommy winced, glaring down at her, and she knew that all the kicking, biting, and scratching was pissing him off.

Good.

"I understand now!" Felicity shouted in his face, writhing to get out from under him. "That all makes perfect sense! Now I'm not afraid of you at all! How about you let me go now so we can grab a drink and chat, you asshole!"

To her surprise, Tommy chuckled.

"Asshole," Felicity grumbled, narrowing her eyes at him. 

"I'm sorry," his grip on her wrists loosened, but he didn't let go. "You're just...everything I expected you to be."

Pausing, Felicity stared up at him, trying to read his expression through the rain.

His face was close enough to block the storm, water dripping from his hair to her forehead.

And the look in his eyes didn't scream of an evil man about to do an evil thing.

He looked just as surprised, breathless, and confused as she felt.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Instead of answering, Tommy bowed his head towards her, "if I let you go, are you going to kick my ass, Smoak?" All she did was narrow her eyes as an answer. They both knew that was a _yes_. So Tommy sighed, not getting up. "Damien Darhk went rogue after he was stationed on Lian Yu."

Felicity's mouth popped open, the name and the implication behind the words, coming out of Tommy Merlyn's mouth, swarmed her head.

H.I.V.E.

Tommy wasn't just kidnapping her for nothing...and as her brain caught up to the craziness of the last five minutes, her adrenaline pumped a little slower. Felicity watched the man on top of her, his chest heaving as the rain continued to pour on them.

While she heard the thunder in the distance, farther than it'd been before, Tommy gave her a moment to digest.

"Darhk said that Oliver and Robert died in the boat wreck," he called through the rain. "We suspected that he found something on the island. Something powerful enough to distract him. And whatever it was, H.I.V.E believed that Darhk let it drive him crazy. I didn’t know that he was keeping Oliver prisoner on that island for a year..." Tommy paused, his eyes filling with so much pain, Felicity could practically feel it. "If you believe _anything_ that I tell you tonight...please let it be that."

"You're one of them..." her voice was just a whisper, mixing in the storm, but he heard her. Tommy nodded, his eyes wet with more than just the rain.

Felicity shivered, finally feeling how cold the water was, her clothes and her hair clinging to her. Tommy leaned back, slowly releasing her wrists. The wind whipped through the trees loudly, but the frigid silence rested between them, in the space where his face hovered over hers.

Staring down at her, Tommy finally gave in. He climbed off of her, and Felicity scrambled to her feet.

"I didn't know, Felicity," Tommy stayed on his knees in front of her as she got her bearings. "I didn't know what Darhk was doing to Oliver five years ago. I didn't even know what H.I.V.E really was until after Oliver had escaped Lian Yu. Trust me," he pleaded with her, not bothering to get up, just blinking up at her through the rain while she towered above him. "I've been helping him ever since...helping to keep him hidden from them. I've risked my life to protect Oliver. You have to believe me."

"You’re telling me that you’re a member of H.I.V.E...and you expect me to believe you? Trust you!? I don't know the first thing about you!”

"Oliver does!" Tommy argued. "Oliver knows that I would never get involved with H.I.V.E on purpose."

She remembered Oliver's words in the car, his stance on the subject when it'd been Ray pleading the same case. And Felicity wondered if her soulmate's opinion might be different...knowing it was his childhood best friend who had gotten in too deep with their enemies.

"When I learned what H.I.V.E really does...what I'd been helping them do...I wanted to die, Felicity. The only thing that kept me going was preventing them from finding Oliver. But now...he came back here, and blew all of that up."

Felicity scoffed, "if that's true, and I highly doubt it is...why not just tell Oliver then? Why bring me out here?"

Tommy shook his head, fruitlessly wiping rain from his face, “if Oliver knew that I was stopping H.I.V.E from finding him, then he wouldn’t have fought. And the other variants...they needed him to fight. He killed Damien Darhk for Christ's sake!"

"Sara did that."

Hesitating, Tommy slumped back onto his heels. "If Oliver thought that you were safe, that you were both safe, he wouldn’t have had anything to fight for."

"You underestimate him."

"Felicity, Oliver has saved hundreds of lives, crippled H.I.V.E at times, and it was all to get back to _you_. For him, this has always been a fight for _you_. H.I.V.E and the variants...it was never  _Oliver's_ war. He just got caught in the cross-hairs. I know it sounds bad...but once I saw the good he was doing...I _needed_ it to be his war. It was the only way to take down H.I.V.E once and for all. Do you understand?”

"You sound like you’re pretty tight with H.I.V.E," Felicity cocked her head to the side. "Yet you want me to believe you? No offense, but you’re not the first tall dark and handsome man whose told me a similar sob story this week...and I’m not sure I can even trust him. So excuse me if the idea of trusting you, a perfect stranger who just manhandled me out here, sounds ludicrous."

"You mean Ray Palmer."

"...How did you know that?"

"I’m trying to tell you, Felicity." His voice was desperate, begging her to listen. "H.I.V.E knows about Oliver now. They're watching you and the Queens closely. It's only a matter of time until they realize what I’ve done...and then it’ll be my head on the chopping block. So, you don’t have to trust me. You don’t even have to believe me. You just have to listen."

* * *

While Oliver combed through the house for Felicity, he called John, telling him to get to the mansion with Lyla as soon as possible.

The more minutes that ticked by, the more worried he became. And he had never been more furious about living in the ridiculously large mansion. He searched every room he thought she could be, but Felicity was gone. Aside from the candles left strewn on the floor, he couldn't find a single hint about where she went.

Oliver doubled back to Thea's room, hoping Felicity might've wandered there to look for him and decided to stay with his sister until the power was back on.

But unfortunately all he saw was Thea and Roy, sitting across from each other on her bedroom floor with a flashlight between them.

And they both looked up at Oliver as he deflated, realizing Felicity wasn't with them. Thea read him instantly. "Still can't find her?" She asked, standing to follow him. Oliver shook his head, trying Felicity's phone again, but it went straight to voicemail. 

Even if his heart pounding in his chest wasn't an indication that something was wrong...Felicity had charged her phone right before they left her apartment. There was no reason she would've turned it off. Which led him to believe it may have been broken. And a broken phone, his missing girlfriend, and those candles left scattered on the floor...were all bad signs for his paranoid mind.

Thea chased after Oliver as he headed back for the foyer, preparing to start searching the less-likely places like the garage and basement. "We'll help you look!"

He shook his head, pointing back to her room, "I want you to stay in there with Roy, do you hear me? And close the door this time, Thea. Lock it."

"Oliver—" His sister grabbed his hand, pulling him to a stop. "What's going on? Why are you freaking out and where are mom and Felicity?"

"I don't know..." He flinched as he realized that he hadn't been able to think beyond his 'Felicity Senses' long enough to realize that his mother was also MIA. "I'll find them, just please stick with Roy and stay in your room, okay?"

"I'm coming with you."

Oliver gave his sister a sharp look. Now was really not the time to argue with him. "No. Thea—"

"Fine," she reached behind her to grab Roy's hand, "we'll split up. Roy and I will check the east wing. You look outside." 

Knowing that arguing with Thea would be as pointless as arguing with Felicity, Oliver just sighed. 

His sister smiled, tapping him on the cheek while Roy grumbled from behind them, "have neither of you two ever seen a horror movie?"

Thea rolled her eyes at him, poking and teasing as she tugged him along towards the east wing.

And Oliver moved in the opposite direction, looking in the garage first. He flashed his light around the room, calling Felicity's name again. Then he made his way to the front door. He couldn't imagine she would've gone outside, but he was beginning to panic...trying to keep himself calm and avoiding thoughts like, _maybe wherever she is wasn't her choice at all._

Swinging the front door open, Oliver was greeted by loud gusts of wind and violent rain. He glanced down, squinting through the dark until he saw it.

A few feet away, one the guards laid unconscious on the front steps. 

Oliver rushed towards him, feeling his pulse before anything else. He couldn't see any injuries and the guard was breathing, but he had definitely been knocked out. 

With his heart in his throat now, Oliver ran back into the house, towards the only people he knew he could protect.

His feet raced towards the east wing, but he hadn't quite made it to Moira's office before Thea's scream pierced through the house.

* * *

“If I’ve learned anything, its that H.I.V.E is full of liars.”

Tommy put his hands up in surrender, against the words more than a physical threat. Felicity was pretty sure he could end her life in a matter of seconds. And she was pretty sure Tommy knew that, too. 

Yet, on his knees he remained. At her mercy in gesture. Vulnerable.

“I know," he smiled up at her sadly, his eyes taking on a haunted, cold blue expression as he looked at her through the rain. "But I wouldn’t be telling you this if it wasn't important.”

"How long have you known about Oliver?" She yelled down at him, feeling like the storm was only getting worse the longer that she and Tommy argued in the center of it. "When did you find out what he was?"

"The same week the Gambit went down," Tommy answered, reminding her of another storm she and Oliver had been caught in.

Felicity knew that she wouldn't drown in the sheets of rain as she stood in front of Tommy Merlyn, but her lungs didn't seem to get the memo. She felt breathless...thinking about the night she'd woken up to realize the Gambit had been sinking.

And she felt absolutely empty.

"I can't feel him," Felicity realized, her hand reacting, clutching her chest. Her heart. "Why can't I feel him?"

Tommy swallowed, raising his eyebrows. He wiggled his hand, the one that had been on her mouth. "Blockers," he answered. "I put a mild powder version of H.I.V.E's blockers on my hand. You inhaled it as soon as I grabbed you. It'll be out of your system in forty-five minutes, I promise. I'm sorry, Felicity...I told you we needed to talk."

"Why couldn't you have talked to Oliver?" Felicity demanded.

At her question, Tommy sighed, his eyes trained on hers. "If Oliver knew the things I've done in the name of H.I.V.E...he would kill me."

Felicity froze, unsure whether or not that was true. Her instincts told her that Oliver loved Tommy. That he had always loved Tommy and could never hurt him. But she'd also seen the man Oliver could become when he was cornered and had to fight his way out. If he or his family were threatened. But was he capable of killing his friend?

She supposed the answer to that depended on what Tommy had done...

"Would he be wrong to? Kill you...?"

"No," Tommy answered instantly. "But my guess is that H.I.V.E will take me down before Oliver has a chance. That's why I need your help. If I'm finally going to make my move against them, I'm going to need all the help I can get. That includes you, and Oliver, and John Diggle and Ray Palmer...and those friends of Oliver's from Darhk's Nanda Parbat massacre. We have to work together. This is our best chance to end this war for good. Felicity...please. You're the only one who can make this happen."

"Why?" She shook her head. "Tell me why I should trust you! Give me one reason why I should believe anything you're telling me."

"My father leads the organization," Tommy replied. "I'm willing to destroy all of them, him included. If you question my loyalty, just ask yourself, why would I expose myself like this to you...if I wasn't on your side?"

* * *

Oliver stalled in the doorway of Moira's study, skidding to a stop just as Roy was lifting their mother into his arms.

"Is she breathing?" He demanded harshly, panic seizing his chest. 

Roy nodded, carrying her over to the couch. "We need an ambulance," he glanced over at Thea, giving her a calming nod as he laid Moira down on the cushions. "Thea, call 911," Roy instructed gently, and Thea pulled her phone out, making the call.

All Oliver could do was watch while Roy looked over her injuries, careful as he inspected the gash on her head, then checked her pulse. "Is she okay?" Oliver asked.

Glancing up at him, Roy nodded once. "I think so."

He kept his eyes on his mother, his heart launching into his throat. "Felicity..."

"Go," Roy lifted his chin towards the door. "You need to find her. I have Thea and Moira...go!"

Not needing any more incitement, Oliver took off again. He wasn't sure where to look or what to do, knowing now that someone had broken into their home. For the second night in a row. Someone had hurt his mother and Felicity had apparently vanished into thin air.

Of course, Alex Hertell was looking like a prime suspect.

But would he really harm his own daughter?

The lack of Felicity made the answer obvious, and Oliver let out a string of frustrated curses. He couldn't catch his breath, unable to think straight.

Reaching the kitchen, Oliver paused. It still smelled like coffee.

He forced himself to relax, to hear the storm outside as soothing, rather than a facilitator for his panic.

If he was going to find Felicity, he needed to calm down. He needed to feel her.

Yet, as Oliver focused on his breathing, on seeing her, he quieted long enough to feel the emptiness.

He couldn't feel her.

It was a familiar vacancy in his soul. One that was still too fresh for him to easily forget.

Ever since they killed Damien Darhk, he'd been healed of it. But in the coldness of the kitchen that night, Oliver felt the nothingness all over again. As if he was still taking H.I.V.E's blockers. Except that he wasn't...and this was worse because he didn't know why he couldn't feel her.

His mind could only think of one reason...one explanation for their connection being severed.

"No," Oliver fought for air, each breath feeling like daggers slicing down his throat. His lungs began to burn while his vision closed in and his head grew light.

He squeezed his eyes shut and fought off the panic attack trying to overtake him. "No, no, no," Oliver gasped, falling to his knees in the middle of the kitchen.

She couldn't be dead.

* * *

As Felicity made her way back to the house, she continued to glance over her shoulder, knowing that Tommy had left in the opposite direction. But she half-wondering, half-panicking that he might sneak up behind her again...yell that the whole thing had been a ruse and he was really there to kill her. Or sacrifice her to H.I.V.E's creepy research.

Nearing the treeline, with one more suspicious glance but no sign of Tommy, Felicity quickened her step. She jogged towards the dark mansion, seeing the windows light up with the flashes in the sky.

Felicity noticed Oliver in the kitchen, standing in the middle of the room. And the next time the lightning cracked, he was on the floor.

"Oliver!?" She screamed, dropping into a full-on run through the backyard.

His head snapped up by the third time she called his name, his eyes wide and his chest heaving as he searched the darkness for her, knowing he'd heard her voice _somewhere_.

And he quickly scrambled to his feet, pushing through the door. His eyes scanned the yard wildly until he noticed her.

Then Oliver was sprinting straight towards her, ignoring the storm. He barely slowed down, crashing straight into her, making her worry that he'd take both of them to the ground. But of course he didn't. She hardly felt the impact as he wrapped his arms around her, lifting her off the ground.

"Oh my god," he breathed, his hand smoothing over the back of her head, her drenched locks that had fallen out of their ponytail sometime during her struggle with Tommy. "Are you okay?"

"Yes," Felicity nodded, burying her head in his neck. "Yes, yes, I'm okay." She clutched onto him, winding both arms around his neck. And she could tell that Oliver wanted to make sure, to check her over, but he scooped her up into his arms instead.

He cradled her close, carrying her to the house and not stopping until they were inside.

Oliver moved quickly, a man on a mission. But he didn't say a word.

Felicity expected him to set her down on one of the stools, but Oliver breezed right through the kitchen and the foyer, only stopping by the bathroom to grab a towel. Without a word, he wrapped it around her and continued on his way towards whatever was going on.

She was afraid to ask.

And when they reached Moira's office, she was glad she hadn't.

"Oh," Felicity gasped, staring at the dead-looking woman lying on the couch. Thea and Roy hovered over Moira, a towel pressed to her head that was covered in blood. "What happened?"

"Someone attacked her. The ambulance is almost here," the young girl assured them, and herself, as she clutched her mother's hand tightly.

Oliver took a seat in the chair beside the couch, keeping Felicity in his lap. "She's doing okay?"

Roy nodded, and Thea finally pulled her eyes away from their mother. Only then did she notice Felicity's state.

The youngest Queen frowned, "Felicity...are you all right?"

"I'm fine," she whispered back while Oliver fussed over her, inspecting her knees.

"What happened?" Oliver asked, turning her arm over so he could look at the scrapes on her elbow from when she'd fallen.

Running away from Tommy. 

Tommy, the guy Oliver had once called his best friend and Thea clearly loved like another brother...who had dragged her out of the house and told her some pretty crazy things.

Felicity knew that now was the worst possible moment to dish all of that out to Oliver.

Besides, Tommy couldn't have hurt Moira...right? Assuming he'd been with her, screaming at each other in the storm, when Moira had been attacked.

But maybe that was a big assumption.

For all she knew, Tommy could've knocked Moira out _before_ finding Felicity and taking her out into the woods to chat. 

Even if he had...Felicity knew that outing him in that moment...just wasn't an option. Not in front of Roy and Thea. And not until Oliver had time to calm down.

"Someone grabbed me. A man..." Felicity hesitantly answered Oliver's question. She felt him tense immediately.

"Did you see who?"

She looked up at Oliver, shivering, and he wrapped the towel tighter around her.

"No," Felicity whispered, melting into Oliver's arms. "I didn't see his face."


	21. The Doubting

There wasn't a single side of Felicity Smoak that Oliver didn't love.

There were sides of her that drove him crazy, that knew just how to push his buttons, that always said the thing he needed to hear, that knew how to bring light to the darkest parts of him, and the list went on. He loved each and every one, so deeply and wholly that it still took his breath away sometimes. 

But one of his favorite sides of Felicity was the dead to the world, too tired to open her eyes, exhausted woman he woke up to each morning. It didn't seem to matter how much sleep she got. She was never willing to part with their bed or his arms. And she was so cute, Oliver didn't even mind the occasional swat of her hand against his cheek when he'd try to wake her up.

He needed to meet John downstairs in fifteen minutes, but he opted out of a shower in favor of watching Felicity for a few moments longer.

After what happened when that storm hit, it was much harder to take his eyes off of her.

He also hadn't slept much in the last few hours, constantly circling the mansion, watching the security monitors and checking in with the guards. John found that the power had been cut, not knocked out from the storm. And his mother swore that she had no idea what her attacker had stolen from her office that night. Felicity said she didn't know who attacked her, either.

That left Oliver with very little answers and even fewer solutions. H.I.V.E was closing in, and they weren't ready for it. All that planning...and they weren't prepared.

Still, it was incredible that Felicity barely had a scratch on her. She assured him that the few bruises he noticed on her hands weren't hurting her. Felicity also insisted that she hadn't seen anything, that it'd been too dark and the rain too thick for her to make out a face. 

He wanted to leave it at that. He wished he could. But she was acting differently. And he couldn't let it go.

Oliver knew that last night wasn't the time or place to press Felicity; not while her clothes were still wet and her skin still covered in dirt from the attack. Not when his little sister was terrified and upset while their mother was unconscious in a hospital bed. And by the time they got to take Moira home, they were all too tired and too focused on keeping the mansion protected from another attack.

Felicity had fallen asleep as soon as she'd climbed into his bed, and she'd stayed that way ever since. He knew she needed the rest, but he had no plans of letting go of the feeling he had that something was wrong. Even as she slept, Oliver knew that something was bothering her. 

Unfortunately, there was no time to wait for her to wake up so he could ask.

Oliver brushed her hair from her face, placing a soft kiss to her cheek before he finally got up. And he left her a note on his pillow, letting her know everything that was in the text John had sent him at 4:00 a.m.

Then he checked on his mother and Thea, reassured that they were both sleeping safe. 

By the time he got outside, Digg was ready and waiting in the car. Oliver nodded at the guards, stopping to fill them in, telling them to keep everyone inside, to follow Lyla's orders, and to stay extra vigilante until he and John were back. 

"How is everyone?" His friend asked as soon as Oliver was inside the car.

"Fine," Oliver answered. "Moira's still a little banged up, but she's healing."

John nodded, "and Felicity? How's she holding up?"

At that, Oliver sighed. "She seems fine. Much less freaked out than one might expect."

Fighting a smile, John shrugged. "Girl's strong."

"I know...she always has been. I just feel like there's something else." Oliver frowned, a tight feeling in his chest. "I'm worried."

As John drove towards their destination, the city covered in the remaining fog from the storm, he stayed silent, leaving Oliver to his thoughts.

There were just so many secrets. It was no wonder Thea had been so frustrated with all of them. Oliver was certain that sooner rather than later, something would have to give. If the attack on his mother's home was any indication, they couldn't keep going on like this for much longer. Those secrets would get them all killed.

Hopefully, this meeting would bring answers. Hopefully it would be a step in the right direction; the direction that kept his family safe. 

"My money's still on Felicity's father, but do you think Ray could've had something to do with the attack?" John asked as they pulled into the parking lot of a 24-hour diner. The closest place they could find to the mansion that worked for this meeting. He stopped the car, taking a moment while they both sat, assessing the situation as the question hung in the silence.

Through the window, they could see Ray Palmer sitting alone in one of the booths. Oliver hesitated, observing him for a moment. Felicity's ex-boyfriend was probably the biggest question mark for Oliver. Usually he'd trust his instincts, but he didn't know what to make of the man who Felicity had spent a year with, trying to move on from _him_. He couldn't decipher if he hated the guy out of jealousy or for good reason. Separating his personal feelings from it was hard. 

In the end, all he needed to know was whether or not they could trust Ray Palmer not to screw them over.

Felicity did. Oliver didn't. He was hoping that bringing John with him that morning would help settle the score. 

Watching through the window, Oliver noted that Palmer looked calm enough. He hadn't noticed them yet, and he sipped at his coffee while he looked over a newspaper. At first glance, the guy looked like he was having his usual, mundane Tuesday morning. But Oliver had a skill for looking a little deeper. Ray's shoulders were stiff, his eyes shifting from the newspaper at every movement he caught out of the corner of his eye.

He was nervous.

"I don't know," Oliver answered quietly. "I guess there's only one way to find out."

Entering the mostly-empty diner, the bell above the door chimed, and Ray turned at the sound, his back stiffening but his face blank as they approached. He glanced at John first, sizing him up. But despite the fact that Dig was huge and intimidating to pretty much everyone, it was Oliver who Ray kept his watchful gaze focused on.

Silently, Oliver slid into the booth across him, already knowing that John would rather stand above them with his arms crossed. Which was exactly what he did.

"Brought your bodyguard, Queen?" Ray asked, lifting his chin to look up at Diggle again.

"Well, you did seem pretty psychotic the last time we talked."

Ray chuckled, his eyebrows raising. "Good morning to you, too. Do you or your handler want coffee?"

"No," Oliver spoke lowly, leaning across the table. This was necessary, but he was going to make it quick. His soulmate was still sleeping in his bed, after all. And he knew she wouldn't be too happy about being left out of this meeting. "Break into Felicity's apartment again...and I'll break every bone in your body."

Across from him, Ray leaned in closer, too. "I've already seen what you're capable of, Oliver. Trust me, I'm shaking in my boots, all right?" Oliver's eyes narrowed as he continued, "apparently I'm not the intruder you should be worried about. I heard the mansion had a bit of a scare last night..."

Cocking his head to the side, Oliver did his damn best to separate his personal disdain for the man in front of him. He tried to see beneath the rivalry, revolving around Felicity, that brewed in Palmer's eyes. Oliver wasn't going to play that game. They were _not_ going down that road. "And what do you know about it?"

Picking up his mug, Ray shrugged and took a sip. "I know that it was someone from H.I.V.E. And I know that they were after something your mother took from them." Ray paused, trying to make Oliver squirm, but Oliver refused to let it get under his skin. "I also know that they found what they were looking for. And what it is."

"Get to the point, asshole," John muttered from above them.

Ray tilted his head, looking up at John. "Are you one of them?" He asked curiously. "A variant?"

"That's none of your fucking business."

Chuckling, Ray leaned back, holding his hands up in mock surrender. "That's a no."

"What did my mother have that H.I.V.E was after?" Oliver pressed, before John strangled the guy. Not that Oliver would complain, but it'd definitely make a scene, and then they wouldn't get answers.

Pulling his eyes away from Dig, Ray clenched his jaw, "a device." When Oliver raised his eyebrows and waited, Ray continued. "I invented it."

Narrowing his eyes, Oliver sensed Ray growing a bit more anxious. Of course, Ray's involvement with H.I.V.E ran deeper than he'd initially let on. Being a blind benefactor was one thing, but inventing things for them? Oliver glanced at John, then down at Palmer's hand where he picked at his nail. "What kind of device, Ray? What does it do?"

"It finds _you_ ," Ray answered, lifting his chin. "Variants have subtle differences in their DNA. Through my work with H.I.V.E, I studied those differences, flagged them, and handed H.I.V.E years worth of research. Obviously on the outside, you look just like us. But even on the inside, the dissimilarities wouldn't be noticed unless someone knew to look for them. So that's what I did. The device was created to help me detect your kind, show me those variant markers in your DNA through a simple scan." He shook his head, "I used it to help populate the list. The Hunt. The invention went missing a few weeks ago. I didn't know that H.I.V.E suspected your mother of stealing it...not until after I learned about the break-in and that they went to get it back."

In his heart, Oliver knew that Ray's explanation made sense. The cut power, the attack on his mother, the fact that whoever did it seemed to have come in and out quickly, as if they knew exactly what to look for and where to find it. The only thing that didn't add up happened to be the most important thing.

Felicity.

The fact that she'd been attacked, too.

Finally, Diggle slid into the booth beside Oliver. He remained eerily calm as he set his hands on the table, his eyes not wavering as he stared straight ahead at Palmer. And despite the anger simmering inside of Oliver, he kept quiet. John stared Ray down, murder in his eyes.

And then Ray began to squirm. _Then_ he realized the threat John Diggle posed.

"If you want to help us stop H.I.V.E, you're not leaving here until you give us names. Members. Locations. Everything you know."

Glancing at the window, Ray nodded along with Dig's demand. Oliver could see that he was paranoid, probably worried that H.I.V.E would kill him. But he still agreed, his eyes shifting as if he expected a bullet to crash through the glass and land in his skull. "I'll write it all down for you. Every base of operation I've seen and heard about. Every name I have. I know that won't make up for what I've done, but I hope it'll at least be a start in redeeming myself."

After letting a long moment pass, where Oliver tried and failed to see if Palmer was telling them the truth, he finally changed the subject back to the alarming threat at hand. "What was Moira doing with that device? Why did she want it?"

Ray's eyes moved between John and Oliver as if he was looking for something. "You really don't know, do you?"

"It's quite clear that my mother is involved with H.I.V.E," Oliver grit out. "Now tell us what you know."

He sighed, shaking his head in disbelief. "After that night at Felicity's, I've started snooping. From what I can tell, your mother joined up with H.I.V.E because she had to. It was either fall in line with them, or they'd kill her child."

Oliver sucked in a breath, "she knew I was alive?"

With wide eyes, Ray shook his head. "I don't know. But I do know that it wasn't _you_ Moira joined H.I.V.E to protect. Oliver...she did it for your sister. She made a deal with them. No experiments on Thea, no bounty on her head, no trouble. In exchange for your mother's loyalty, obedience, and fortune, H.I.V.E stayed away from her. The device jeopardized that, so I believe that's why she took it. But I didn't find anything that suggested Moira knew about you being a variant, too. Or that you'd even survived the boat wreck."

Beside him, Oliver heard John mutter something under his breath. But all he could do was stare at Ray Palmer, his whole body freezing.

And despite himself, Ray seemed to revel in Oliver's stunned silence. He couldn't help but enjoy the fact that he got to be the one to fill Oliver in on the news. "Yeah," Palmer raised his eyebrows. "Thea's a variant. Looks like you have more in common with your sister than you thought."

* * *

Waking up without Oliver was something that had once been expected. It had just been life. Going through the motions until she'd eventually grown numb to the absence. It became a dull ache upon opening her eyes, rather than an overwhelming emptiness. But now, when Felicity opened her eyes, she expected him to be there.

Blinking, Felicity first felt his absence, knowing he wasn't in bed with her. Then she recognized his bedroom, but it wasn't a space she'd spent much time in physically. Only when she'd visited Oliver growing up. The whole thing instantly made her feel a little off kilter.

Felicity frowned as she read the note left on his pillow, not keen on the fact that Oliver didn't wake her up to go with him and John. She considered laying in bed until he came back, simply out of spite. But her growling stomach had other plans. With a sigh, Felicity got out of bed, getting dressed in a room that felt foreign, even if she knew it as Oliver's. She'd visited him in that room countless times, but without him in it, it just felt strange.

In fact, the whole mansion seemed even more ominous than it had the night of the storm, knowing that Oliver and John, the people she trusted most, were both away from it. Felicity didn't like the feeling; the vast and empty space taking on a bizarre harshness in the morning light. Crossing her arms, Felicity made her way downstairs. She'd definitely have to find Lyla and stick to her friend's side until Oliver returned.

Logically, Felicity knew it was safer for her and Oliver to be at the mansion, despite the two break-ins. The place was a fortress, the metaphorical walls higher than ever and every corner prepped with a guard from Armor Industries. It was also safer for Moira and Thea to have Oliver under the same roof, protecting them if necessary. But selfishly, she already couldn't wait to go back to the apartment.

She winced as she entered the kitchen, being brought back to the previous night. And the wince turned into a shiver when she saw Moira standing at the counter, making coffee in almost the exact same position she'd been in during the storm, just before the lights had gone out. "Wow," Felicity smiled at the woman, noticing the biggest difference between that morning and last night; a very large and purple bruise that covered most of Moira's forehead. "Jeesh...Déjà vu."

Moira blinked, the words taking a moment to click in her mind. She glanced down at the coffee pot, understanding dawning her features. And then the older woman chuckled, and it was Felicity who blinked in confusion.

Moira Queen didn't laugh. Not that Felicity could remember, anyway.

She pointed a finger at Felicity, "let's try again, and hope our morning ends a little better than the last time I made you coffee." She gestured to the table, just as she had before. And Felicity bit her lip, nodding once as she took the same seat.

"How are you feeling?" Felicity asked, trying not to flinch when she got a closer look at the wound on the woman's beautiful face. At the hospital, they'd wrapped some gauze around her head. And they'd sent her home with a bandage. But Moira had apparently made an executive decision to take it off. And the wound looked painful.

"I'm fine, dear," she answered passively, pouring them two cups. "What about you? Thea told me you had quite the scare yourself. I hope you're okay."

Felicity forced a smile, "I am."

In truth, she felt the opposite of okay. She still hadn't found the right moment to tell Oliver that his childhood best friend was involved with the people trying to kill them. That he'd grabbed her and dragged her into the woods. When would it be the right time to drop _that_ bomb on him? And Felicity still didn't know what to think of Tommy and everything he'd said, so she wasn't sure how to approach it with Oliver. Plus, Tommy's words still circled in her head. _If Oliver knew the things I've done in the name of H.I.V.E...he would kill me._

At her core, she knew that Oliver wouldn't kill Tommy. Not if everything he'd said to her in the rain was true. If he was lying...well, then it might be a different story. She knew that, but she still let Tommy's words weigh on her shoulders.

She was making excuses.

If she was being honest with herself, Felicity knew that part of her was afraid.

Oliver would be _furious_. He needed to know all the information Tommy had shared with her, but she wasn't quite sure how Oliver would respond to Tommy's _methods_. What he'd done was wrong. Absolutely. And the guy seriously had some screws loose in his brain if he couldn't think of a better way to talk to her that didn't involve kidnapping...and giving her a cold. But still, Felicity felt like she could trust Tommy for some reason. She felt like he was telling the truth, which had to be good for something.

"A lot going on in there, huh?" Moira's voice pulled her from her thoughts and the spot on the counter she'd been staring at. Felicity glanced up, seeing that a steaming cup of coffee was in front of her, along with creamer and a bowl of sugar.

Smiling, Felicity focused on fixing her caffeine how she liked it. "Oliver's pretty worried about you and Thea," she answered, keeping her eyes on the mug as she picked up her spoon and began stirring. 

"I know," Moira sighed. "Truth be told, I'm not sure what to tell him that could fix anything."

"The man who attacked you..." Felicity tread lightly, watching as Mrs. Queen's back stiffened. "You think it could have been this Alex Hertell?" _AKA her loser of a father._

Moira nodded, "he was wearing a mask, but I would assume so..."

"And you have no idea what he wanted?"

Her eyes hardened, and Felicity knew she'd overstepped even before Moira's cold words cut the air. She raised a manicured finger to point at her own head. "Well, Ms. Smoak, I'd say he wanted to hurt me."

Felicity pursed her lips. Just like that, the thawing of the ice queen skidded to a stop, a winter drift blowing through the space between them. One step forward...two steps back.

"I'm sorry," Felicity tried. "Dig told me about your statement with the police." _Or she'd hacked the SCPD from the hospital waiting room and read Moira's statement for herself. Same difference._

"You said the man who attacked you was looking for something..." Felicity trailed off, keeping her eyes on Moira.

"I don't know what it was."

Nodding along, Felicity chose wisely to drop it. It wasn't hard to read the tension the conversation had inspired, and she knew it was time to bow out. Felicity wasn't sure if it was Moira's injury, her fear over the situation, the threat that still lingered, or a combination of all three...but the words weren't very convincing. The woman was notorious for her indifferent attitude and ease through high-stress environments. She _should_ be a great liar...but as soon as the words were out of her mouth, Felicity knew instinctively that it wasn't the truth. Moira  _definitely_ knew what her loser dad was after.

Despite the lie, Moira looked genuinely scared, though. Felicity could see that it was upsetting her, and no matter how mean the woman could get, or how evil, she was still Oliver's mother. She would always protect him and Thea fiercely. Reaching across the counter, Felicity covered Moira's hand with her own. "I'm glad you're okay too, Mrs. Queen," she said sincerely. "And I know Oliver's relieved."

"Yes," Moira finally relaxed, squeezing her fingers before letting go. "My son may not remember me, but his concern is still appreciated." 

"You're his mom," Felicity said calmly, offering a smile. "He knows that, no matter what. Of course he's concerned."

Settling into a silence that was as comfortable as it could get between the two women, Felicity's eyes wandered to the window. Glancing out at the yard, the sun trying to break through the fog, she remembered standing out there after Tommy let her go last night. Looking into the house at Oliver while he stood in the kitchen, watching him drop to his knees. The sight of Oliver's body giving out, accepting the possibility in that moment that she might've been dead, was haunting. More haunting than her conversation in the rain with Tommy Merlyn. In that moment, she'd seen Oliver overcome with paralyzing fear...and it still made the hair on her neck stand up to think about the way he'd looked.

Just like Tommy had promised, the blockers he'd given her had worn off quickly, but that didn't stop her from being terrified the whole time. Not being able to feel Oliver, even briefly, after those five years apart, after finally finding each other again, had rocked her to her core. During that agonizing hour until the drug wore off, she was more pissed at Tommy for that than anything else.

"I owe you an apology, Felicity." Moira let out a deep breath, and Felicity pulled herself from her thoughts. "I also owe you a 'thank you' for being there for my son, for getting him to stay, for helping him heal."

"Oh," Felicity breathed back, slightly blown away by any kind of praise coming from the woman.

"Also, for Thea. Both of my children clearly adore you," Moira acknowledged.

Felicity fought a smile, unable to tell how Mrs. Queen felt about that fact. "Thank you for saying that."

Falling back into a slightly less tense silence, Felicity snuck glances at the woman who had raised her soulmate, and she could see the cracks in her armor. Much like Oliver, Moira Queen was a bit of a puzzle. She had walls up around herself and her family, she protected them with all her might, and she was resilient. When Felicity actually took the time to look at Moira, to really see her as more than the cartoon-ish ice queen she'd created in her head, she could see a lot of qualities that Moira had passed on to her son. To both her kids.

They stayed quiet for a while. Moira sat down beside her. And she passed Felicity sections of the newspaper she'd finished as they both sipped their coffee. And it felt like an unspoken, yet tentative, truce.

Felicity assumed that either Thea would wake up or Oliver and John would return soon enough, so she enjoyed the quiet moment while it lasted.

What she hadn't been expecting was for a British man's voice to be the thing that interrupted her shared silence with Moira.

Felicity's eyebrows furrowed as the British accent grew closer, calling Moira's name. And then Walter Steele entered the kitchen, dressed in a sharp suit and looking just like Felicity remembered. His eyes landed on his wife as soon as he came into the room. 

Relief flooded Walter's expression, and he crossed the room to check on Moira. "What are you doing home?" She asked, sounding a little stunned as Walter hugged her.

"Thea called me," he explained, "which is exactly what you should have done."

"Oh, well...you didn't need to come all the way back from Russia just for a silly bump on my head, dear."

Walter frowned, making a disapproving face at her. "Thea told me someone broke in, Moira. You should have called me immediately."

Moira brushed him off, standing up to peck his lips before setting her cup in the sink. "Walter, you remember Ms. Smoak,"

Holding out his hand, Walter reluctantly took his eyes off his wife to focus on Felicity. His smile was warm, his handshake friendly. But he was clearly distracted. "Of course, Moira and Thea tell me you're to thank for Oliver being brought home safely."

Felicity smiled, dropping his hand as she realized that his presence was a welcome, pleasant surprise. She'd always liked Walter. More so than any of the other rich and powerful players she'd had to interact with during her time at QC, including his now-wife. "It's nice to see you again, Mr. Steele."

Once they'd caught Walter up to speed about the break-in, _moderately_ , Moira yawned.

And Walter perceptively took it as his cue to dote on her. He kindly excused himself and his wife, leading her upstairs for a nap.

Taking her coffee with her, Felicity wandered back upstairs, too. She stopped in Oliver's room, finding her phone and then heading out again as she typed a text to her soulmate with one hand.

**When will you be home?**

His response came instantly; **Soon.**

She rolled her eyes. Sometimes his vagueness bothered her. He knew she was looking for more than _soon_ as an answer.

There were moments when he expressed himself so well, could put how he felt about her into beautiful words. Then there were moments when all she got was _soon_.

Like he could read her mind, Oliver sent another text; **Don't roll your eyes at me. I'll be home soon, I promise. I miss you.**

Biting her lip, Felicity stopped in the hallway, setting her mug on one of the side tables so she could type; **You wouldn't have to be missing me if you'd woken me up for this.**

 **You needed to rest,** he texted back. **How are you?**

Felicity knew he was worried about her. He was also more afraid than she'd ever seen him. **I'm okay,** she answered. **What's going on with Ray?**

 **We'll talk when I get back, okay?**  And she could practically hear him saying the words.

 **Well hurry home, then.** Felicity bit her lip, watching as he began to type a response. She could just picture him putting their little meeting on pause so he could text her. And she could also picture Dig rolling his eyes about it. The man would drop everything, no matter how important, just to check on her and make sure she was okay. And it brought a smile to her face.

 **We're leaving in a few minutes,** Oliver answered. **I love you.**

"Better," Felicity mumbled to herself.  **I love you more.**

**Don't pick an argument you won't win, honey.**

She sighed, sliding her phone into her pocket and glancing around the empty hall. It wasn't the same one Tommy had grabbed her in, at least she didn't think so, but they all looked the same. Either way, Felicity wanted to get out of there. She wasn't quite sure what to do with herself, not wanting to be in Oliver's room and not wanting to roam the mansion alone, either.

The kitchen seemed like the safest bet. Maybe she could find Raisa and help her with getting dinner prepped or something. Anything to keep herself busy for a while. Picking up her coffee again, Felicity headed in that direction.

But after a few steps, her head quickly started feeling light, her breaths growing shallow. She shook her head, trying to clear it.

Her body taking over, Felicity's feet began to move, shuffling against the carpet. She moved down a different corridor, in the opposite direction of the stairs. Her chest felt tight, her stomach woozy. Not knowing what was happening, Felicity followed the strange feeling, just letting her feet guide the way.

And it led her a little farther, until she reached a door. Then her feet just stopped.

Felicity looked up, recognizing that she was outside of Thea's room.

The discomfort rose in her chest grew a little stronger. A wave of nausea rolled through her that she swallowed it down. Felicity blinked in confusion, her head a little hazy. Part of her worried she was having some delayed reaction to a head injury, thanks to her scuffle with Tommy. But she just felt strange, like she was in a fog.

Behind the door, Felicity could hear Thea's muffled voice, and then she recognized Roy's, too. Raising her hand to knock, Felicity hesitated as she listened. Her eyebrows furrowed, trying to make out the words. Their voices were too muffled through the thick wood, but she understood the tense tones in their voices, as if they were arguing lowly, trying not to be heard.

Before she could decipher what was going on, the doorbell rang. The sound circled through the mansion, and Roy and Thea's voices abruptly stopped.

With one more glance at the door, Felicity shook her head, pulling herself out of the daze. Hopping away from Thea's room, she hurried downstairs, wanting to catch whoever stopped by before Moira got out of bed to do it.

As she reached the landing, Felicity rushed down the stairs just as Lyla was opening the door. And when the guest entered the Queen home, Felicity's feet stalled, sliding on the wooden step. Her shock and clumsiness almost took her down in a mess of coffee and more bruises that Oliver would fuss over, but she caught herself on the railing before that happened.

"Oh, you're awake," Lyla looked up at the commotion, giving her a frown. "Felicity, you okay?"

She nodded, her eyes wide and glued to Tommy Merlyn.

He closed the front door, following Lyla inside. Then he glanced up at her too, his smile hesitant and his shoulders stiff, but looking relaxed enough. "Good morning, Ms. Smoak."

* * *

Walking back into the mansion, Oliver felt completely exhausted, and it was barely even 8:00 in the morning.

As soon as they came through the door, he released an exasperated sigh, making John chuckle. Overall, things could be worse...not that Oliver would ever dare to say that out loud and jinx them. But Ray Palmer had handed them an advantage on H.I.V.E. More than an advantage. With the list of names and suspected bases, he would know more about H.I.V.E than the organization had ever wanted him to know. And once those secrets got into the hands of the right people, like the Birds of Prey, for example...H.I.V.E would have a war to deal with and nowhere to hide.

But first, they needed to be sure that the information Ray gave them was good. They needed to be certain that they could trust it, and trust that Palmer was truly going to betray H.I.V.E.

It already felt like a long day, and it was only going to get longer. Yet, it did make Oliver smile to think that Felicity would probably have a field day digging up all this dirt. It'd be fun for her. Exhausting, but fun.

"Ray seems to have a superpower for draining the energy right out of a person," Oliver sighed, leading John inside the mansion. "I have no idea how Felicity dated the guy." Ray could be a saint, and Oliver wouldn't think he was good enough for Felicity.

Shaking his head, Diggle followed him down the hall. "Palmer actually kind of reminds me of her, they're a lot alike. I mean, aside from Palmer being an idiot to get in bed with H.I.V.E. They're both brilliant, tech savvy business owners. I guess it makes sense why she picked him," John shrugged. "I can see it."

Turning the corner towards the study, Oliver's feet stopped. He leveled his friend with a harsh look. Dig was clearly taunting him, and Oliver did not like it one bit. "Keep it up. I'll have my mother fire you."

John grinned, raising his eyebrows. "She would never. I'm pretty sure she likes me more than she likes you right now."

Rolling his eyes, Oliver shoved him as they entered the study. But all lightheartedness faded as they looked around the room to find Lyla, Tommy, and Raisa; all sitting in awkward silence. "Hey," Diggle offered after a moment's pause, his eyes mostly on Lyla.

Each of their faces were shadowed in different shades of discomfort, making Oliver wonder what was going on. Glancing at the strange mix of people, he instantly noticed that Raisa seemed confused, Lyla was analyzing Tommy, and Tommy was squirming under the scrutiny.

Oliver blinked, asking the first question he wanted an answer to. "Where's Felicity?"

"Miss Felicity, she uh..." Raisa stood up. "She's making orange juice."

Oliver frowned, his eyebrows pushing together. "I'm sorry?"

"We don't really know," Lyla answered, lifting her chin towards the kitchen but keeping her eyes on Tommy. "She's in there."

Raisa approached Oliver, patting him on the arm, "I go back to work now," she shook her head. "I come in to offer guests food, and Miss Felicity say I sit while she make juice. Very strange girl..." the older woman looked up at Oliver, giving him a wink that he recognized all too well. "She is perfect for Mr. Oliver, though."

At the words, after the morning he'd had, Oliver couldn't help but smile. "Thank you," he whispered.

"Mr. Merlyn stopped by to check on your mom," Lyla drew Oliver's attention back to them. "She's asleep."

"Okay..." Oliver glanced between them again. Even as Lyla spoke, her narrowed eyes remained on Tommy. One look at Dig, and Oliver could see that his friend was noticing the strange tension in the room, too. "Excuse me a moment," he gestured towards the kitchen, wanting to find Felicity. Then he nodded at John, prompting him to take a seat with Lyla and Tommy. Not like _that_ would ease any of the tension. But weird things had been happening in the mansion since they came home; starting with an awkward family dinner, blowing through the break-ins, and now a tense breakfast, apparently.

Walking into the kitchen, Oliver caught sight of Felicity, working in front of a messy counter as she sliced oranges. He raised his eyebrows, "you really are making orange juice."

Her head snapped up when she heard him speak. Her shoulders slumped, a relieved smile drifting across her face. "You're home. Hi."

Oliver smiled back, closing the space until he could wrap her arms around her. "Hi," he mumbled back, squeezing her tight because it had felt like too long since he'd looked into her eyes. "What are you doing?"

"Tommy's here," she cleared her throat. "Raisa's going to put out some bagels in a little bit, once Moira and Thea come down. Your mom was up this morning, but she's still pretty exhausted."

Nodding, Oliver watched her for another moment as she struggled with the juicer.

"Here," he gently took it, his eyes still lingering on her face. But she didn't look up at him, just mumbled a 'thanks' and got back to cutting the oranges. "Felicity," Oliver started, "what's going on?" She shrugged, her attention focused on the fruit. Since she wasn't looking at him, Oliver ducked his head, trying to meet her eyes. "What's Tommy doing here and why is Lyla watching him like he might try to steal my mother's silver?"

"Uh," Felicity chuckled, the sound more strained than normal. "I don't know...you'd have to ask Lyla."

His eyebrows furrowed, "I would be an awful soulmate if I pretended not to notice that something's been bothering you since the storm, Felicity. And I'd be an awful boyfriend if I didn't see how strange you're acting right now. Please tell me what's happening."

Felicity sighed, setting the knife down and finally looking up at him. "I will, just...now isn't the time, okay? Walter's home, and I heard Roy here, too, and I'm sure everyone will be down soon. We can talk about it later. I promise," she stared up at him, her eyes ringing with the same truth. "I want to tell you, we just haven't had time, and I need a moment alone with you so we can actually talk and I can explain—" She pinched her lips together, cutting herself off.

"Hey," his throat was tight, his voice wavering. "You're scaring me..."

Leaning in, Felicity pressed her lips to his, keeping her sticky, orange covered hands to herself, but he still felt the comfort in the simple touch of her lips. "I'm okay," she whispered against his mouth. "I swear. We're all okay."

Taking in a breath, Oliver nodded. It gave him a sinking feeling in his chest, just acknowledging that there was a _something_ she needed to tell him at all. Something that he had a feeling he wouldn't like.

"How did the meeting go?" Felicity gave up on the oranges, wiping her hands on a towel.

"We have a list," he sighed, trying to shelf his worries for now, giving her the time she was asking for. "Possible members and operation locations. I thought you might be able to look into them today."

Felicity raised an eyebrow, "sounds fun." And Oliver huffed, shaking his head. She wrapped her arm around him, resting her chin on his shoulder as he continued to help with the juice. "What else?"

Oliver looked down at her, speaking lowly, "it's possible that Thea is...that she has a soulmate."

Her grip tightening, Felicity's eyes widened, "Roy? How did we not see that?"

In response, Oliver shrugged. "We've been a little distracted. We'll also need to find a way to verify if its even true, considering it came from Ray Palmer. But yeah," he sighed, "it makes sense. The way she talks about Roy, the way she's changed..."

Shaking her head, Felicity sighed, "wow."

"I know," he agreed. "And that wasn't all Palmer wanted to share." 

Speaking quickly and quietly, he caught her up on Moira's involvement with H.I.V.E, the break-in, and the suspected device Ray told them about. 

Eventually Raisa came in, interrupting their whispered conversation and telling them that Moira had woken from her nap. Then they helped her get breakfast ready.

Throughout their conversation, despite the topic, Felicity had seemed to relax.

By the time they sit down at the table with their fake bodyguards, his mother, his best friend, and his new step father, she was tense again.

Even more tense than he was, which was alarming considering he'd just had to greet one of his father's oldest friends and acknowledge him as his mother's husband. All while swallowing his pride and not letting it show that the whole thing didn't sit well with him.

Once the bagels were served and the juice was poured, Oliver could feel Felicity's anxiety rising. It was even stronger than it'd been during their first dinner with Moira and Thea. Glancing at her, he felt baffled, trying to understand it. Her thumb tapped against her knee, and his eyes tracked every move she made.

Felicity met his eyes, and he watched as she let out a deep, calming breath, mirroring his own. Oliver blinked back, his eyes questioning. Without a word, he placed a hand on her bouncing knee. _Are you okay?_

"I should go check on Thea," Felicity blurted, breaking their eye contact. She plastered a smile on her face, her eyes moving from Oliver to Tommy, then to the others at the table. "Let her know there are bagels, and orange juice. I mean, who doesn't love bagels and fresh orange juice? Yum! Do you think she's awake by now? I'm sure she'll will want some."

Oliver's hand tightened on her thigh as she babbled, but Felicity nudged it off so she could stand up. Then she moved away from the table, squeezing his shoulder as if to let him know everything was fine. Except that it felt the opposite of _fine_. "Be right back!"

"Felicity—" Oliver tried to stop her, but she flashed him a smile, waving as she hurried out of the room.

As she high-tailed it out of the room, Oliver pinched his lips together, glancing at the confused faces around the table. Felicity was being _weird_. Well, weirder than normal. 

"Excuse us," he quickly stood from the table, only hesitating to meet John's eyes, a silent agreement that he'd keep an eye on the rest of his family while he figured out what the hell was going on with his girlfriend. Nodding back, Dig lifted his chin, telling him to go. And Oliver could see the concern in his eyes, too.

Jogging up the stairs, he caught up to Felicity just as she was turning the corner towards Thea's room.

"Hey, hey, hey," Oliver stopped her, running his fingers down her arm. She turned towards him, and he took her hand. "Felicity, please," was all he could manage, his voice just a whisper as he felt her hand shaking. 

Her eyes slipped shut, her body gravitating towards him until she she was in his arms. "I'm sorry," Felicity mumbled against his chest. Oliver's arms tightened as he pressed his cheek against her head. 

"It's okay," he answered quietly, keeping her calm. "I just need you to talk to me, Felicity. You seem more worried now than you were last night." All she did was nod, so Oliver pushed a little more. "Is it my mom?" He asked. "Did something happen this morning? Did she say something to upset you?"

"Tommy works for H.I.V.E," Felicity breathed back, lifting her head to see his face. "You know he's been following some kind of trail of yours for the last few years. It's because he works for them, and he's been trying to protect you, cover your tracks so that they can't find you. His dad is apparently one of the power players in the organization and I mean, maybe _the_ power player. That list Ray gave you should help us figure it out, I hope. But I know how close Thea is with Tommy and how much she loves him. And then you said Thea is like _us_ , and knowing that Tommy is like _them_...Who the hell can we trust? Because right now, I'm not sure I trust anyone completely. Besides you, of course. I'm just kind of freaking out a little bit."

"Slow down," Oliver mumbled, cupping Felicity's face and sucking in a deep breath. She did the same, and he kept his eyes on hers as they released them. Oliver let her words sink in. She looked so conflicted, so tormented, so afraid. It was throwing him off balance. "How do you know any of that?"

Before Felicity had a chance to answer, there was a loud crash coming from Thea's room, stealing their attention as their heads snapped towards the noise.

Instinctively, Felicity took a step in the direction. Following his own instincts, Oliver grabbed her arm, pulling her behind him. He hesitated for a moment, hearing nothing after the crash besides a muted groan.

He slowly inched towards the room while Felicity plastered herself against his back. Then he hesitated, just one moment, until he heard his sister's voice. "Shit!"

"Thea?" He called through the door. "Are you all right in there?"

"Ollie?" Thea answered, "I'm fine! Uh...is mom with you?"

Oliver frowned, tilting his head towards Felicity, meeting her wide eyes. "No..."

The door slowly opened, and Thea peeked out. The young girl glanced between the two of them, giving a sheepish smile. "There's something I need you to see."

His shoulders stiffened, and Felicity's palm slid from his shoulder blades to his waist. "What?"

Instead of answering, Thea opened the door a little wider. 

In the middle of her bedroom, Roy stood with his arms wrapped around a woman. A sweaty, blood stained, wild haired woman who weakly fought to get out of his hold, and Roy tried to get her back to the bed.

She was pale and sickly, but the moment Oliver met her eyes, he recognized her.

Oliver froze. And she froze. Her presence in his home, in his baby sister's room...was like his worlds were finally coming together in a violent collision.

"Where the hell am I?" She hissed through her teeth, only relaxing slightly at the sight of Oliver. Someone familiar.

At the sound of her voice, Oliver felt Felicity lean around him from where he took up the whole door frame, trying to get a look. And it was his soulmate's small, shocked voice that answered.

"Sara?"


	22. The Escaping

"Wake up!"

She opened her eyes, blinking in the dimly lit room. There was a blurry face in front of hers, but she was too disoriented to react. The light above her head was bright, but it was the only light in the room. She had spent enough of her time in cells such as this, so she didn't need to be fully conscious yet to understand where she was. The cement walls that radiated a damp, cool, musky smell. The dirt under her bare feet. It was all too familiar.

"Come on, wake up," the panicked voice pleaded. "We have to get you out of here!"

Blinking some more, she lifted her head. The metal chair she sat on was uncomfortable, letting her body know that she'd been slumped in it for too long; hours, maybe days. Her body was weak and her head was foggy. The restraints on her wrists and ankles were cutting off circulation, her hands and feet numb.

Trying to snap out of it, she acknowledged the pain. And the never-ending rage that lived inside of her. Pain and anger were anchors, they were the only things she had to hold on to, and she needed them to fuel her. She focused on the pain from the restraints on her arms, the pounding in her head, the blood that was dried and itching all over her body.

There was a girl kneeling in front of her, saying something. Wide green eyes stared up at her while cold hands cut the cable wrapped around her legs. Then the girl became clearer, her features snapping into focus when she got to her feet, leaning around to cut the cable on her arms.

And once she was free, the trained killer kicked in.

Every instinct jumped to life, and Sara attacked.

Her body reacted when her head was too bogged down to keep up. Her body was free, so she used it. 

As the restraint fell to the floor, Sara lunged towards the figure, pushing the girl back until she had her pinned against the wall. But the movement was too fast, and her vision immediately darkened. Sara blinked, trying to see clearly. Her arm loosened against the girl's neck. "Who are you?" She asked weakly, her body not agreeing with her head's desperate attempt to survive whatever _this_ was.

She hadn't meant to ease up, but as Sara's arm slipped from the girl's throat, it gave the visitor a chance to answer.

"My name is Thea," those terrified, wide green eyes begged Sara to believe them. "I came to help you escape."

Sara pushed back, retreating a few steps away from the girl.

When Sara stumbled, Thea followed, catching her before she fell. "We have to get you out of here before more of them come."

Sara glanced towards the door, the giant metal obstacle that had kept her locked up for days.

Now, it was open. Just a crack.

"Come on!" the woman named Thea pleaded, grabbing her and pulling her towards the door. And Sara let her, seeing no point in wasting her energy fighting against a possible escape. As her brain woke up, she remembered feeling like she would die in that room, strapped to that chair, being tortured until she passed out.

Using the wall to steady her and Thea to hold her up, Sara moved as fast as she could, going in whatever direction her savior led. 

"Almost there," Thea panted, half-dragging Sara along. She pointed out the exit, the door they apparently needed to get through in order to escape the twisted prison she'd been trapped in. And Sara felt a second wind of energy at the sight of it, at freedom. Her feet shuffled forward a little faster until they reached the door.

Cold air hit their faces as Thea burst through it, pushing the door open and hurrying out into a dark alley.

At the end of the narrow street, a car revved to life, the headlights shining on them. Sara instantly tensed as the car began to pull forward, but Thea patted her arm. "It's okay, that's Sin. She's helping us."

As they stepped towards the car, Thea glanced over her shoulder, looking back at the building. "Come on, Roy..." she mumbled under her breath.

The car stopped in front of them, and a girl that looked as young as Thea stuck her head out of the window. "Get in!" She called to them, keeping the car running while Thea and Sara awkwardly hobbled their way over.

Then Thea helped Sara into the passenger seat, her eyes still on the door they'd come out of. "Come on, come on, come on," she tapped her hand against the car, dread settling onto her face.

"Where is he?" The other woman, the one named Sin asked, glancing wildly from Thea, to Sara, to the building.

"I don't know," Thea breathed back.

A moment later, the door busted open again, and a boy in a red hoodie ran from it. Seeing the car, he moved faster. "Thea, get in the car!" He screamed, waving at her.

Thea's face dropped, slamming Sara's door shut and jumping into the backseat. 

From behind the wheel, Sin put the car in reverse, and Sara braced herself, her hands against the dashboard. 

She had no idea where she was, who these people were, or where they were taking her. But she went willingly, knowing that no matter who they were or why they'd come for her, she was better off with them than imprisoned by H.I.V.E. Sara knew that she didn't end up there for their experiments like Oliver Queen had. Her captors had been there to punish her. She'd endured enough torture to know that her most recent wounds were personal, payment for killing Damien Darhk, she guessed.

And she also knew that if it weren't for these three strangers, she would have been executed sooner rather than later.

"Roy!" Thea yelled, each of them watching as the boy in the hood sprinted down the alley, and five ghosts followed him out. They all dropped to a knee, aiming their guns at the getaway car.

"Shit," Sara hissed, the fog in her mind breaking, just in time for her to register the torrent of bullets filling the alley. 

In terms of escape plans, it was amateur at best. The narrow alley made them sitting ducks.

But still, this Roy dodged them with impressive agility, only getting nicked by a few of the shots before he reached the car. Then he threw himself into the backseat, right on Thea's lap. "Go!" Roy commanded as Thea slammed the door behind him. And Sin hit the gas pedal, the car flying backwards out of the alley as the metal bullets ricocheted against the glass, the tires screeching.

With her empty stomach rolling and her head spinning, Sara turned to look at each of them, weighing whether or not she could make it out of the car should she need to. As she took them all in, it became clear that they were far from professionals. 

They were just kids. And their eyes were wide with adrenaline and terror.

Sinking into the seat, Sara relaxed slightly, her gaze moving to the window. "Slow down," she grumbled, making all of their heads snap to look at her.

After a moment of tense silence, the boy in the backseat patted the girl named Sin on the shoulder. "She's right," he advised, "they're not following us. The last thing we need is to get pulled over by a cop right now." His eyes glanced back at Sara again, taking in the state of her for the first time. "This'll be pretty hard to explain," he finished.

It didn't take very long for her own adrenaline rush to fade. The ghosts' bullets had shattered two of the car's windows, and the fresh air made her exhausted. As they sped through an unknown crowd, Sara couldn't fight the fatigue, too tired to ask the questions that needed to be asked. She didn't even have it in her to threaten. "Any of you touch me..." she slurred, her head swarming with the weight of her exhaustion. It was impossible to keep her eyes open. "I'll rip your arm off."

And then she was out cold.

"Shit," Roy mumbled, leaning forward to look at their new passenger's face. "Is she breathing?"

His question hung in the air, because despite how _dead_ the woman looked, he was a little bit afraid to test it.

"Check her pulse," Thea nudged his arm, pushing her closer to Sara.

In response, Roy tossed her a look over his shoulder, then focused on Sara again. "I'd like to keep my arms," he muttered. He watched Sara's face, seeing her chest rise and fall with shallow breaths. And he nodded once, satisfied. "She's breathing. We're good."

"I wouldn't call it _good_ ," Sin answered, letting out a sharp breath. Yet they all relaxed. Because at least they'd survived the run-in with H.I.V.E.

"Holy shit," Thea finally slumped as they pulled up in front of her neighbor's gated mansion, her eyes focused on the windshield ahead. Sin didn't dare bringing the car right to the Queen's doorstep, knowing the place was crawling with guards since Moira was attacked the night before. "I can't believe we just pulled that off."

Roy nodded as they sat in a moment of silence, letting what they'd done sink in. And Sin mumbled her agreement, her hands still gripping the steering wheel tightly. 

They all sat for a few moments, catching their breaths and letting the fact that they'd just rescued Sara settle. And once it did, Thea couldn't help but laugh. The giggle bubbled in her throat until she couldn't keep it in. Sin turned around to look at her, ready to ask if her friend was having a mental breakdown, but then she was laughing too.

Roy glanced between the two of them, shaking his head. Then he placed a hand on Thea's thigh, and after a moment, she quieted. Her eyes stared back at him, letting his calmness wash over her. He gave her a small smile, one that soothed her, focused her back to the moment.

It was how they'd always worked. He kept her safe and grounded. She kept him adventurous and free.

Although the adrenaline felt an awful lot like adventure, Thea knew the severity of what they were in the middle of.

Over the last few weeks, Thea, Roy, and Sin had saved a dozen other variants from H.I.V.E's clutches. But none of them had a target on their backs as big as the one on Sara's. It was sickening, and Thea was also sure that it wasn't over. They might have made it out tonight, but it'd take a lot more than fake names, new passports, and some Queen fortune to keep H.I.V.E from finding Sara again. This time, their vendetta was personal.

Glancing at the lethal woman, Thea couldn't help but notice how small and fragile she looked. "We have to figure out how to help her," Thea whispered, her eyes meeting Roy's.

As he looked back at her, Roy didn't need words to express his agreement. How much he understood and shared his soulmate's desire to save those that H.I.V.E had hurt. His hand covered her thigh again, soothing her mind and bringing her back to the moment, the current dilemma. "We have to get back into your house without getting caught," Roy reminded them.

Thea nodded, glancing at the gates of the mansion a few yards away. "We got out," she shrugged, "we can get back in."

Sneaking in and out of the place had become a game to her. And Thea was at a point where she hardly ever lost. Despite her mother's best efforts, the fortress she called a home was no match for Thea Dearden Queen. 

"We didn't have an unconscious assassin when we snuck out," Roy shot back, "or your brother's freakishly observant bodyguards on our case. For all we know, they've already figured out we're gone, and we'll be walking right into their search party."

Sin glanced down at Sara, her eyes widening. Even with pale skin, soot-stained hair, and her eyes closed, the woman still looked terrifying. Like a sleeping beast that could wake up at any moment and snap each of their necks before they had a chance to blink. Sin shivered, keeping her eyes on Sara out of fear that the very thing might happen. Their obstacles were endless. "So what do we do?" She asked.

Ignoring her friends' concerns, Thea let out a deep breath. Then she smirked, "if we can get through H.I.V.E, we can get through my brother."

* * *

"Sara?"

Oliver turned to look down at Felicity when her voice broke the silence, but then his eyes flew back to Sara, his sister, and Roy. She looked confused and afraid, yet ready to fight. Oliver recognized it, the cold calculation and edge that he'd noticed in Sara and all of the Birds of Prey when he'd initially come across them. But that was hardly the first thing he noticed about her. Before he saw the look in her eyes, Oliver took in the utter mess the woman was. She looked like she'd just clawed her way out of a war zone. Which added an extra layer of tension to the room; where two of the people he loved most in the world were within striking distance of one of the most _deadly_ people in the world. "Sara..." Oliver held his hands up, careful not to startle her.

He knew what this woman was capable of should she feel cornered and threatened. And the last thing he wanted was Felicity or Thea ending up in the cross hairs.

Some knew her as the Canary, but seeing her at her most vicious had never really made him think of a _bird_.

Maybe it was his own tension and silence, but everyone else seemed to jump right into it. Thea stared at Sara, her eyes widening while Roy's arms froze around her. And as Sara looked around the room, she blinked, as if she was trying to make sense of her surroundings. Well, so was he...

And then she spoke, her eyes focusing just beyond his shoulder, where he could feel his soulmate peering around him, trying to get a look at the unexpected guest. "Felicity?" She whimpered, her shoulders slumping.

More so than Oliver's presence, despite their years of friendship and common alliance in the fight against H.I.V.E, it was the sight of Felicity that finally made Sara relax. Her body gave out, most of her weight falling into Roy's arms. But her eyes remained alert, shifting over them with curiosity now rather than defense. "Where am I?" Sara asked again, her voice strained, like it was hard for her just to talk. 

He'd seen Sara in some pretty dire moments, and he'd truly never met anyone who could escape deadly situations better than the Birds of Prey, especially Sara. But she looked like she was knocking on death's door.

"You're in Starling." Again, it was Felicity who answered.

And Sara's body froze, her eyes wide as they snapped back to Felicity. "Starling?" She gasped.

"Ollie," Thea finally intervened, stepping in front of the door and crossing her arms across her chest. "Can't say I'm surprised you and Felicity know this woman. Did you meet her before or after your little case of amnesia?"

Ignoring his sister's disbelieving tone, Oliver stared down at her. His eyes didn't waver, seeing that there was no point in trying to lie. Thea already knew enough, apparently more than he'd thought. "What's going on here?"

Thea's eyebrows shot up, tossing her shoulders back. "Why don't _you_ tell _me_?"

Oliver rolled his eyes, pushing into his sister's room without an invitation. He waited for Felicity to follow, and then he shut the door behind them. "I mean, what is Sara doing here?"

"We just saved her life," Roy answered from across the room, helping Sara back to the bed with surprising ease. If Sara was letting anyone help her, Oliver knew she must have been through hell. And Roy's next words made Oliver stiffen. "H.I.V.E had her."

Sucking in a sharp breath, Oliver glanced between Roy and Thea. His little sister and her alleged soulmate. It was one thing to learn that she was a "variant" like him, but it was another thing to realize that Thea knew about H.I.V.E. And that she was involved in the fight against them. If Thea knew anything about Sara, then she was in danger...considering Sara was H.I.V.E's public enemy #1. 

"Thea..." he spoke lowly, carefully keeping his voice calm. "Where did you find Sara?"

"You first, big brother," she shot back cheekily.

He narrowed his eyes at her, taking a moment to find the right words.

They had all reached their breaking point. Everything was going to come out one way or another. Oliver knew that as stubborn as he was, Thea was almost as bad. "I crossed paths with Sara for the first time about three years ago. In a place called Nanda Parbat." He answered carefully.

At the words, Thea blinked at him. Surprise was written all over her face, as if the truth was the last thing she expected out of him. Which was fair enough... She let out a sharp breath, and then returned the favor by surprising him with her next words. "You called me Speedy." Oliver cocked his head to the side in silent question, his heart jumping to his throat. Because _what_...? He hadn't heard or used that name since she was a kid.

"The night of the storm," Thea continued, not taking her eyes off her brother. "You let it slip." She moved closer, her gaze hard and her body rigid, daring him to deny it. Oliver held his breath. "When you came to my room, you said 'you're not alone, Speedy.'" Thea nodded to herself, knowing the truth before he'd had a chance to explain. "That's when I figured it out." Thea's eyes flickered over his shoulder, then back to him. "You and Felicity...you're soulmates."

Nodding slowly, Oliver pulled his eyes from Thea to look down at Felicity, giving her a small smile in comfort when he saw how wide her eyes had grown.

"What's happening to Sara?" Felicity breathed, stepping around him and closer to the bed. Felicity sat down on the edge of it as Sara settled in, her eyes closing. With her defensive instincts relaxing, knowing she was safe with people she could trust, Sara looked worse than she had just a moment ago. Felicity's hand swept across Sara's forehead, and Sara relaxed even more, a long sigh escaping her lips. As her adrenaline drained, so did her energy, and Oliver finally realized what bad shape she was in.

Felicity turned to look up at him, her hand still on Sara's head. And her eyes were worried. "She's burning up," Felicity's voice was low and concerned. With furrowed eyebrows, her gaze turned to Thea and Roy. "Mind filling us in?" She prompted expectantly.

"Thea and I found this list on the dark web," Roy began.

Oliver groaned, because this was already off to a terrible start.

"Well, our friend Sin found it. She's a variant, too. And her girlfriend Riley went missing last year. Sin kept having all these dreams about it, seeing Riley in these awful places, hooked up to wires, being tortured, drugged up. It really screwed with Sin's head."

Oliver pinched his lips together, hating where this was going.

"They found Riley's body about a month ago. The police called it an overdose. But obviously Sin knew it wasn't."

The one that had convinced Oliver and Felicity they needed to take this fight to H.I.V.E. To Starling. He shared a look with Felicity, understanding that she realized the same. "Sin started digging," Roy explained. "She found this list out there, like some kind of advertisement for assassins. It has all these names, and we linked it to this organization, Humans for Inquiry of Variant Energy, or H.I.V.E—" Roy cut himself off, "well, you guys probably know more about them than we do. Anyway, we figured out that H.I.V.E deposits thousands of dollars into the bank accounts of whoever kills or captures the people targeted. It's like a—a hit list."

"The Hunt," Felicity provided helpfully.

Roy blinked back at her, "you know about it?" In response, Felicity simply nodded, her hand still on Sara and her eyes still on Roy. His jaw clenched, his fist doing the same as his eyes darted between her and Oliver. "Riley's name was on it. If we'd known all of this sooner, maybe Sin wouldn't have lost her."

His tone was accusatory, and he probably wasn't wrong. But Oliver didn't like that it seemed to be directed at Felicity, as if _she_ could have done something to save his and Thea's friend. In truth, that burden was all on his shoulders. Even though he hadn't known about The Hunt, he'd known H.I.V.E was killing people. And he'd steered clear of his home rather than returning, unknowingly leaving his own sister and mother vulnerable. And...it was very easy for him to pile onto his conscience.

"Hey—" Oliver huffed, ready to defend Felicity from being tackled with that kind of guilt. She didn't even know H.I.V.E existed until they were storming her company and trying to take her. She didn't deserve the blame, especially not from his sister's hot-headed boyfriend.

"I'm sorry," Felicity offered gently before Oliver could finish. She gave Roy a small, genuine smile. "I'm sorry your friend lost her soulmate. And I'm sorry you lost your friend."

Roy's anger slipped with her words, taken aback by the wholehearted kindness and sincerity that made Felicity Smoak who she was. Then the fire dimmed a little more when Thea placed a calming hand to his back. "Well," Roy continued, "we've been saving the variants that H.I.V.E tries to kill. When we realized they had their highest bounty," he gestured to Sara, "we knew we needed to do something. We found one of H.I.V.E's frequented warehouses in the Glades last night, and that's where we found her."

"You can't be serious," Oliver scoffed, his eyes igniting with his own as he focused on Roy. "You've been playing hero? You've been letting Thea get mixed up with a hit list sponsored by H.I.V.E, that you found on the _dark web_?" He raised his eyebrows, his voice raising. "What kind of soulmate are you?"

At that, Roy's eyebrows shot up. He squared his feet, facing Oliver with a brave jaw raised. His cold gaze flickered between him and Felicity again, and his words were just as icy when he answered, "the kind who lets my girlfriend make her own choices about her own life."

Oliver snapped his lips shut, feeling the sting of that one. Still, he growled back. "You do realize they'll kill you both if they find you, right?"

Thea stepped in front of him, "hey!" She snapped, putting a hand on Oliver's chest to stop him from coming any closer to her little boyfriend. He hadn't even realized his feet were moving. "We _successfully_ saved Sara, but we're obviously not in the clear yet. Look at her...something isn't right."

Turning his attention back to Sara, Oliver shelved his grievances about the dangerous games Roy and Thea were playing, knowing his sister was right.

He sat down on the bed beside Felicity, picking Sara's arm up. Then he pressed his fingers against her pulse, feeling for a heartbeat. It was steady, but her skin was cold and sheathed in a thin layer of sweat. "Sara?" Oliver spoke loudly and clearly. She grumbled in response, her eyelids fluttering as if she was trying to open them.

"Can't be here," Sara muttered as if in response, but her words slurred together. "Need to go, need to go..." her head shook from side to side, sweat dripping from her forehead where Felicity brushed her hair back, trying to soothe. "They can't know!"

Oliver squeezed Sara's hand, glancing at Felicity. She met his eyes, sharing a worried look, and then her fingers pushed through Sara's hair again, keeping it out of her face. "What's wrong with her?" Her voice was tense and helpless.

"I don't know," Oliver sighed, using his other hand to reach for Felicity's. "Was she like this when you guys found her?"

Roy and Thea glanced at each other. "Not really," Thea answered. "She's been getting worse since last night. This morning was the first time she really got out of it though. We've been trying to decide if we should take her to a hospital."

Standing up from the bed, Oliver squeezed Felicity's hand, then dropped it and moved back to Thea. "I need to talk to John Diggle," he explained. "Text me the address of where you rescued Sara, we'll scope it out to see if we can find anything that might tell us what's happening to her. In the meantime," he turned to Roy now, "there's an herb I keep, it's at Felicity's apartment. If Sara's been dosed with some kind of toxin, it'll flush it out of her system. I need you to go get it for me. Can you do that?"

Roy nodded, his shoulders relaxing, grateful to have something to do, to have a _plan_.

"What about me?" Felicity asked, a small pout on her lips.

He crossed the room in a few steps, leaning in to kiss her. "Stay here with Sara?" He asked lowly against her lips. With her, it wasn't an order. But Felicity nodded quickly, glancing back down at their friend. "Thea can help you take care of her," Oliver said. "Please," he looked to his sister, " _please_ make sure to keep Moira and Walter occupied. We don't need them knowing Sara's here."

Felicity nodded in agreement, "send Lyla up before you and John head out?"

Quickly, he kissed her one more time and moved towards the door. As he brushed by Thea, he felt her eyes on him, and he paused. Oliver cocked his head to the side, his eyebrows furrowing as he looked at her. "Thea?" He asked, placing his hands on her shoulders, "are you okay?"

She let out a tiny whimper before clearing her throat. But there were unshed tears in her eyes as she forced a smile. "I guess I just realized I finally have my brother back."

Freezing, Oliver blinked at her. She was right. Five years apart, and then he'd come home and pretended not to know her, even if it was foggy at times. He'd never really been able to hide his affection for his strong, brave baby sister. Still...the secrets between them were finally out there. Hanging between them and clearing the air. Well, some of them at least. Looking down at his sister, Oliver gave her a watery smile. Then he pulled her into a tight hug.

Thea huffed out a laugh, hugging him just as hard. "Hurry back..." she mumbled, although she didn't quite let him go yet. "Before mom starts asking questions."

Oliver clenched his jaw, but nodded. Releasing Sara, he glanced back at Felicity, who offered an encouraging wink and a gorgeous smile that settled his soul. "I'll send Lyla up," he straightened. "Be back in a couple hours."

* * *

For the hours that followed, Sara's condition only seemed to be getting worse. In the few instances that she opened her eyes, she panicked, seemingly delirious and telling them over and over that they needed to get her out of Starling before "they" knew she'd returned.

Felicity, Thea, and Lyla took turns between watching over her and keeping the others busy. It would've been relatively easy, considering Moira was still healing and Walter was too busy worrying about his wife to worry about what they were up to, except that Tommy Merlyn wouldn't leave.

As the girls breezed up and down the stairs; finding new sheets, plenty of towels, and a first aide kit for fresh bandages, Felicity could tell that Tommy was getting suspicious of them. It didn't take a genius to see that they were up to something. But considering his tie to H.I.V.E, Felicity wasn't surprised that Tommy seemed to figure out their rotating shifts of checking on him. And the guy carefully watched them all morning like he was trying to solve the puzzle of their weird behavior.

By the time everyone finished breakfast, which the three of them scarfed down in between fake bathroom breaks and a couple imaginary phone calls, Moira and Walter retreated to relax on the couch. Apparently the woman had a guilty pleasure for reality television, much to Felicity's surprise.

As soon as the dishes were cleared, Lyla tried to politely escort Tommy to the door, but he feigned ignorance. "I want to stick around until Oliver gets back," he'd said with a pointed look at Felicity. Like he knew she'd already ratted him out. "It's been a long time since I've seen him, and I think its time we talk."

Since Tommy just stressed her out even more, Felicity did her best to focus on keeping Sara comfortable while they waited for the boys to get back. She made constant trips to the bathroom across from Thea's room, making sure Sara had a cold washcloth on her forehead to keep her fever down. And she checked it every fifteen minutes, dread setting in because it seemed to be getting hotter each time she checked.

Roy made it back before Oliver and Diggle, and they quickly called Oliver so they could get the weird plant-looking substance to Sara, following his instructions over the speaker-phone to mix the stinky little thing with a cup of tea and coax Sara into drinking it.

When they finally got her to swallow all of it, Felicity let out a long breath of relief, setting the mug on the nightstand beside Thea's bed. Then she plucked the washcloth off Sara's head and brought it back to the bathroom.

Taking a few moments to gather herself, Felicity turned the sink on, letting the cool water cover her hands as she rinsed the cloth.

Felicity knew that if Oliver's magic twigs didn't work, if Sara kept getting more sick, and if her temperature kept rising, they'd have no choice but to take her to the hospital. And that was simply not an option any of them were comfortable with. H.I.V.E was probably out there looking. It wouldn't take the ghosts long to hunt them down in such a public, vulnerable place. Assuming that they didn't know Sara was at the Queen mansion yet...because otherwise they'd probably all be chained up in some sketchy basement like poor Sara had been.

Closing her eyes, Felicity took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly. She was exhausted.

And she was worried; Sara with this unknown illness that they knew absolutely nothing about, Thea and Roy with their risky vigilante operation to save variants, and Lyla with her rigid concern for her friend. Not to mention the guy downstairs who had far too many secrets and not enough answers. Felicity closed her eyes, hoping that Oliver would be back soon with something, _anything_ , to make everything stop from spiraling out of control.

It felt like they'd only just found each other again, and now the walls were closing in around them.

With a shake of her head, Felicity dried her hands. She needed to focus on Sara, getting her fever down and finding out what the issue was before...well, she didn't want to think about things getting any worse.

Opening the obscure storage below the sink, Felicity dug around until she found a stash of medicine. She picked through the bottles, finding a heavy pain killer with Moira's name on the label. She shrugged, giving it a shake. It was probably best to wait until Oliver returned to ask if it was okay to give it to Sara, since she had no idea how things might mix with the funky tea. But she figured they might as well keep it close by.

Felicity draped the cold, wet washcloth over her arm, reading the warnings on the bottle. 

"Not like it's going to say 'don't ingest with weird shrubbery your boyfriend keeps in your underwear drawer for emergencies,'" she mumbled to herself, taking it from the bathroom.

As Felicity walked back towards Thea's room, she had her eyes on the bottle, her fingers fidgeting with the lid. Since she wasn't watching where she was going, nor was she expecting anyone to sneak up on her, Felicity gasped when she collided with a hard chest.

The pills and towel went flying, because of course she'd just managed to open the cap just before getting the frack scared out of her. As the capsules hit the floor, Felicity's eyes darted up to an apologetic Tommy.

He winced, his hands catching her arms, steadying her from losing her balance. "Sorry, sorry," Tommy rushed, letting her go so he could bend down to clean up the mess at their feet.

Felicity caught her breath, placing a hand over her racing heart. "Well," she lifted her chin. "Last time you did this, it was candles that you made me drop and cause a mess of. Of course, there was more manhandling involved then."

Tommy froze, looking up at her from where he sat on his knees, a fistful of pills in his hand that he'd scooped up from the carpet. And again, it reminded her of the previous night; flashing back to a rain soaked man on his knees, pleading with her in the eye of a storm to believe him.

Now, his eyes looked embarrassed rather than tumultuous. But the deep sadness was still there.

"I'm sorry that I hurt you, Felicity," and he actually sounded sincere. "Doing what I do...the person I've become...I forget that there are still people like you in the world. People who are just... _people_. I handled that conversation all wrong."

She scoffed, "generous of you to call a  _kidnapping_ a conversation."

Tommy huffed, his eyes meeting hers, "I'm so, so, sorry that I scared you," he whispered back.

Leaning down, Felicity tried to snag the bottle from his hand, but he pulled it out of her reach before she could, raising his eyebrows as he waited for an answer. "Generous of you to think you scare me," she narrowed her eyes at him, pinning him with a harsh glare. "You don't."

In response, Tommy lifted his chin, not backing down. "Okay," he tried to smile. It was sad, and seriously made her think that smiling was foreign to the man. He also looked uncomfortable, like he was trying to ease her mind with a charming grin more than anything else. "How about I'm just sorry then."

Sighing, Felicity dropped her shoulders. She didn't have the energy to argue with him, especially if he wasn't even going to _try_ to defend his actions. She could probably yell at him all day, and he'd deserve it. But damn, she was tired. Instead of answering, Felicity got down on her knees, too. And they finished picking up the pills, dropping them back into the bottle as they went. Then Tommy grabbed the washcloth from the floor, holding it out for her along with the pain killers.

Felicity paused, analyzing him as if it might be a trick, but then she took it. As her fingers brushed against his, Tommy turned his hand over, squeezing her fingers.

She froze, her breath catching while she waited for him to let go.

When she glanced up at him, Tommy's eyebrows were pushed together, his eyes on the bottle and washcloth locked between their hands where he still held hers. "Are you feeling all right?" He asked.

"I—" Felicity opened her mouth then closed it. She wasn't about to explain that the items were for _Sara_ , known killer of Damien Darhk and H.I.V.E's most wanted, not her. It was probably better if Tommy assumed she was swiping Moira's prescriptions than him knowing the truth. Luckily, she didn't have to come up with an excuse. 

The sound of a throat clearing interrupted them. Tommy release her hand, and unfortunately made her drop the pills again. At least this time, the lid was on. Felicity quickly picked the bottle up, glancing over to see Oliver approaching.

Tommy pushed to his feet, meeting Oliver's murderous glare without so much as blinking.

And Felicity sat frozen on the ground for a moment, watching in stunned silence as her soulmate stalked across the rug until he was toe to toe with Tommy. "What the hell are you doing up here?" He growled.

Felicity scrambled to her feet, using Oliver's hand when he held it out for her, but he didn't take his eyes off his glaring match with Tommy. "Okay," Felicity sighed, gripping her fingers through Oliver's. "Tommy was just leaving."

"We should talk," Tommy ignored her, his eyes narrowing as he stared back at Oliver unafraid.

Oliver lifted his chin, and Felicity didn't miss the way he angled his body, puffing out his chest slightly where he stood stall in front of her in a protective stance. Yet she knew that he had no plans of answering. Felicity rolled her eyes, unsure which one was being more ridiculous. Or more stubborn. But Tommy had overstayed his welcome. The pleasantries were over. "We don't have time," she shot back at him. "Tommy...just go home."

Finally, Tommy broke all the intense staring, his eyes flickering down to her. "What's going on?" He asked lowly, his eyebrows furrowing in concern again as he looked back at the bottle in her hand. Then he stepped closer, "seriously Felicity, are you okay?"

Oliver held up a hand in warning, silently telling Tommy to stay where he was. But Felicity didn't miss the confusion in her soulmate's eyes. She'd told him that Tommy worked for H.I.V.E, but she hadn't exactly had a chance to mention that she only knew that because Tommy pulled her out into that storm and told her himself. And Oliver was clearly perplexed by the icy yet established rapport that incident had created between his childhood best friend and his soulmate.

"I'm fine. I just—" she looked to Oliver for help, but he gave her the same exact look in return. "Did you uh, did it go okay? With that thing—that thing you needed to do?"

Sighing, Oliver shook his head no, and Felicity deflated. They couldn't help Sara if they didn't know what was wrong with her. And they couldn't know what was wrong with her if they didn't know what happened to her when H.I.V.E had her. 

Felicity's eyes shifted to Tommy.

"Hey," she cocked her head to the side, analyzing him for a moment. Tommy raised his eyebrows, keeping his attention on her despite Oliver's hyper-focus on his every move. Felicity pursed her lips, weighing her options. Tommy might have more insight into helping Sara, maybe he'd even know how to make her better. But Sara was a H.I.V.E fugitive...and Tommy was the son of the man who had probably put that bounty out on her head. Letting Tommy know that Sara was right behind the door, in Thea's room, might be a very, very bad idea.

Ultimately, with no other options, it was time to decide. To trust Tommy or not to trust Tommy.

"Oliver," Felicity looked up at him, communicating with one look what she was thinking. Just as she arched an eyebrow, Oliver shook his head, opening his mouth as he searched for a response.

Then they heard a loud crash coming from Thea's room, followed by Lyla's alarmed "Sara, no! Sara!"

Without a moment's hesitation, Oliver and Tommy both lunged for the door, bursting through it at the same time, practically falling over each other to get in. As they stumbled inside, they all froze.

Thea stood by the bed with one hand on her forehead, blood seeping between her fingers, dripping into her eye and down her cheek. She blinked in shock, glancing at them while her face grew pale faster than Felicity had ever seen before.

"Ollie..." Thea gasped, her voice confused an distant. Her bare feet shuffled towards her brother, through a mess broken glass on the floor from a vase that they could only assume Sara had hurled at Thea. Her eyes rolled back in her head as she fell, and Oliver quickly closed the distance, catching her before she hit the ground.

When Oliver moved to help Thea, Tommy and Felicity turned at the sound of a low growl. 

Across the room, Lyla stood completely still, her hands held out in surrender and her eyes wide with horror. And in the corner, Sara was crouched over, her gaze darting around the room at all of them.

She looked... _wild_ , if Felicity was being completely honest.

For some reason, Felicity's instincts had her taking a step forward, wanting to calm Sara down and help Lyla at the same time. But Tommy's arm flung out before she could snake by him. He grabbed her hip, blinking down at her with a harsh shake of his head. 

Felicity glanced at Oliver, who had Thea in his arms, his hand held firmly against the gash on her head as he tried to stop the bleeding. He looked from Felicity to his sister, clearly torn on where to be, who to protect. She tried to push by Tommy again, but his hand tightened on her waist, shoving her behind him just as Sara inched forward.

Sara's hair was a mess of matted blonde, her clothes covered in sweat and skewed, and Felicity finally put the pieces together and realized that the growling was coming from _her_. "Sara," Felicity gasped breathlessly, unable to stop herself. And Sara's head snapped to look at her, but there was no recognition in her eyes this time. No familiarity that Felicity had seen earlier. She inched closer to the door, watching each of them carefully as her lips muttered words in a language Felicity had never heard. "Sara..." she tried to get through again, pushing at Tommy's hold. 

Sara ducked her chin, moving slowly towards them with some animalistic crawl that sent a shiver down Felicity's spine. 

No one in the room moved, but Sara's eyes were cold and unwavering...and trained on Felicity.

Felicity held her breath, not seeing an ounce of the girl she'd met weeks ago. This was...someone else. She could feel it.

When Sara continued her torturous stalk towards Felicity, Oliver let out a surprised choking sound as he realized that Sara was closing in on Felicity like a predator closed in on prey. Quickly, with Sara's back to him, he moved towards the bed, presumably to set Thea down, but Sara noticed him moving out of the corner of her eye.

With a feral sound, she lunged straight for Felicity, _pounced_ at her, pushing off from the ground and soaring right across the room at her. And Felicity yelped, instinctively squeezing her eyes shut as if she could avoid the attack if she simply didn't watch it. But before Sara could sink her claws or fangs into Felicity's throat, since she was absolutely about to scratch Felicity's eyeballs out or god forbid, _bite_ her... Tommy caught Sara mid-air.

He let go of Felicity just in time to grab Sara. As the woman growled, Tommy held tight, pinning her against the wall in Thea's room, pictures falling as he shoved Sara roughly against it. He gripped her arms, and she snarled, her teeth gnawing at his hands as she tried to get free.

"Go, Felicity!" Tommy snapped, struggling to keep Sara still.

But Felicity stood frozen, too close to the lethal and unhinged assassin that had definitely just tried to kill her...yet too stunned to move.

"Felicity!" Oliver called her name, his voice desperate. He held Thea's weight with one arm, waving her towards him with the other. His eyes were wide and panicked as he begged, "come here, baby. Come here."

Her feet finally moved, and she flew across the room, throwing herself into Oliver's waiting embrace. He let out a sharp breath over her head, his arm wrapping around her, yet he hesitated from cradling her head, keeping his hand that was covered in his sister's blood away from Felicity's hair. "Are you okay? Are you okay?" He asked, sounding so very far from calm. 

"I'm fine!" Felicity squeezed him harder, turning her head away from her hiding spot in his neck to look back at Tommy and Sara.

Lyla had joined, trying to help Tommy restrain Sara, but it looked more like they were just avoiding getting bit. "Help them," Felicity worried. Oliver nodded quickly, easing Thea onto the bed while Felicity grabbed a towel from the floor. She hurried to press it to Thea's head, grateful that at least the bleeding was slowing down. But she was losing a lot.

"Damn it!" Tommy bellowed, yanking his arm away when Sara dug her nails in and twisted. 

The moment he pulled back, Sara kicked her leg behind her, landing a hard blow to Lyla's stomach, and then she ran.

"Oliver!" Felicity gasped, her eyes wide as they heard Sara ripping down the hall, Tommy and Lyla already in pursuit. 

Her soulmate wasn't far behind, but he turned in the doorway long enough to pull it closed behind him, locking her and Thea inside with a sharp, "don't open it until I get back."

As the door slammed shut, leaving Felicity with an unconscious but breathing Thea, she caught her breath. The room was oddly silent, vacant of the tension and fear that had just been so tangible. She checked Thea's pulse, holding the girl close as she waited with shaking hands for Oliver to come back and tell them that everything was fine and Sara was safe.

Of course, that didn't happen.

Ten minutes later, he returned with Lyla and Tommy on his heels, and a newly recruited Roy and John. Their faces were so severe, Felicity already knew what happened. She expected what Oliver was going to say. "Sara's gone."

Hugging Thea a little tighter against her side, Felicity blinked up at him as he rounded the bed, checking on his sister first. Roy sat down on the other side of Thea, looking her over more thoroughly, his face wrecked with worry. "She's okay," Felicity whispered. "She'll need stitches, John can help. But she's breathing." Roy met her eyes, nodding once in thanks.

Oliver knelt in front of Felicity. Cupping cheek, he met her eyes for one fleeting second that assured both of them they were each all right. And she sucked in a deep breath, calming down as Oliver did the same. "What's happening to her?" Felicity whimpered, knowing that in this state, and with her ability, Sara could cause some serious damage to the innocent people of Starling.

Rubbing his thumb across her pale cheek, Oliver sighed, shaking his head. And Felicity could see in his eyes how much he wanted to have an answer. To promise her that everyone was safe. That this whole mess of a day would turn out fine.

"I know what's happening to your friend," Tommy's voice answered from the doorway. 

They all turned slowly to look at him, and Felicity was surprised that his face didn't hold any kind of hatred or gloating.

That's what H.I.V.E wanted, right? For them to suffer?

But as Felicity looked at Tommy, his hair disheveled from the perfect placement of before his encounter with Sara, he looked like he was in shock. His eyes were wide. Empty. Felicity's attention fell to his forearm, where blood was distractingly dripping onto the carpet from the tiny punctures Sara's nails had left.

Tommy seemed to notice her staring, raising his arm for a brief moment to assess the wounds. Then he dropped it with a long sigh. He swallowed, looking just as affected by what they'd seen as the rest of them.

As he shifted in the doorway, Tommy kept his eyes on Felicity, composing himself while they all waited for an answer.

"She's dying," he finally whispered.


	23. The Finding

_Five Years Ago_

When your best friend goes missing before he had a chance to graduate college, it really makes you feel like life is too short and too unfair. Tommy had opted out of college, which only made it sting worse when Oliver left for that boating trip with his dad and never came back. There were plenty of moments when he'd wondered why it couldn't have been him. 

Growing up, _he_ was always the one dragging them into trouble, not Oliver. _He_ was the one who pushed the limits, broke the rules, and hurt people just because he was bored. Most of the time, Oliver went along with his schemes in order to keep him from taking things too far. It didn't seem right to Tommy that Oliver didn't get to come home. In his eyes, it should've been him.

Karma surely must have made a mistake.

In the months that followed Oliver's disappearance, when each passing day made it seem less and less likely that his friend would return, Tommy went down a bit of rabbit hole of guilt. It was full of regret and self-loathing, but really he just missed Oliver.

Of course, Tommy's dad wasn't one for sharing feelings, or even his time, with his grieving son. There was no comfort or promises that things would get better. In truth, Tommy felt more alone than he ever had before. But instead of picking up a hobby to distract him or finding a therapist to help him, Tommy jumped into his spiral with enthusiasm. 

It wasn't until he crashed his car, almost killing the girl he'd been driving home, that Malcolm really stepped in.

Since he'd had about ten shots of tequila before getting in the car that night, the court ordered him to a full year of community service. He'd been resigned to picking up trash on the highway, but of course Malcolm refused to let the media get pictures of a Merlyn doing work like that. He had other plans. 

First, it was an incredibly boring internship at Merlyn Global. But after a few weeks of that, his dad assigned him to the security department. And Tommy quickly realized that the men in black who worked for his father looked more like navy seals than mall cops. Their equipment was some serious stuff. They monitored the entire thirty-seven story building with hourly rounds, hidden codes, and rooms he wasn't authorized to. Merlyn Global wasn't just a multi-million dollar company. It was a fortress.

And it made Tommy suspicious to see how heavily armed it was...but he said nothing.

Then one night, he'd been doing a check of the parking lot and perimeter when he'd seen the strangest thing of his entire life.

Two people burst through a backdoor of Merlyn Global just as Tommy was rounding the building, and he instinctively stepped back into the shadows. They didn't notice him, and Tommy was extremely grateful, because he instantly recognized that they were not in their right minds.

First of all, they were barefoot and covered in blood, looking like they'd just escaped a captor's basement.

Tommy froze, his hand on the taser Mr. Wilson had given him earlier that day. The two of them looked like they'd been through _hell_ , which made him sick to his stomach considering they were running out of his father's company. 

They took off across the parking lot without noticing him, and Tommy contemplated if he should follow and make sure they were okay or if he should radio in for help or if he should call the police. Before he could decide, the door opened again, and Mr. Wilson rushed over to him with six guards in tow, all of whom wore ski masks to cover their faces.

Tommy found that part insanely distracting, unable to stop staring at the guards.

"Kid, did you see the assets?" Mr. Wilson demanded, stepping in front of him.

"The what?" Tommy blinked back, his eyes shifting from Malcolm's head of security and his new, very off-putting friends.

"The assets!" Wilson shouted back, his voice alarmed. The guy had always struck Tommy as someone who hardly ever got riled up. But Mr. Wilson was panicking.

Weakly, Tommy raised a finger in the direction he'd seen "the assets" go, since there was no way the two people he'd seen weren't the ones Wilson was looking for.

"Come on, kid," Wilson grabbed his shirt, pulling him along. "You're going to tell us exactly where they ran and what you saw."

"Who were they?" Tommy breathed back.

Wilson shot him a look, "important."

As he was dragged along, Tommy glanced behind them, seeing that the ski masks were forming a tight, protective circle around him and Wilson. "And," Tommy's voice cracked, "who are _they_?"

When Wilson realized what Tommy was asking, he shoved his shoulder, chuckling lowly. "Your father likes to call them his hive. And I guess tonight's the night you become one, too." Tommy opened his mouth to ask what the hell that meant, but Wilson held up a hand to stop him. "Questions later. All you need to know is that we're going to stop those lunatics from hurting anyone tonight. Let's go, kid."

In a matter of moments, Tommy was ushered into the back of a discreet van parked in the back of Merlyn Global. He and Mr. Wilson were the last to arrive, apparently, because when Tommy took his seat on the bench, the van was packed with men dressed in black pants and what looked to be bullet proof vests.

Tommy's eyes were wide as he glanced around the van; some of them he recognized as employees in the company's security team. And a couple of the faces were even more familiar; men who had come in and out of his home throughout the years.

As the van took off, Wilson leaned over and dropped something in Tommy's lap. Not knowing what to do, Tommy stared down at it, too afraid to ask any questions. He'd done his fair share of stupid and illegal things, especially since Oliver disappeared, but he also knew that anything involving a black ski mask was going to be much, much worse.

"What the hell is this for?" He hissed the question, leaning closer to Wilson and holding the mask up.

His mentor raised an eyebrow, "there's still a lot about this world that you don't know, kid," he answered calmly. "Your father may not agree with me, but I think you're ready. I also don't think we have much of a choice right now. This is an all hands on deck kind of night."

"What does that _mean_?" Tommy pressed, ready to throw a full-on temper tantrum if someone didn't tell him what the hell was happening. What did you mean about these people being my dad's _hive_?"

"Humans for Inquiry of Variant Energy," Wilson answered with a shrug. "H.I.V.E. Listen, we can get into it more later, all you need to know right now is that there are people out there who we need to stop. Your dad calls them "variants" to keep people comfortable and funding this little operation." Wilson met Tommy's eyes, making sure he was listening. "But make no mistake, kid. These things are monsters."

"Monsters?" Tommy's eyebrows furrowed. "You're telling me those people I just saw were _monsters_?"

At that, his mentor let out a dark chuckle. "You'll believe it when you see it, all right?" Without waiting for a response, Mr. Wilson turned towards the rest of the men in the van. "Okay, listen up!" He stood from his seat, placing a hand to the top of the roof for balance as he addressed them. "Two variants have escaped containment. They were under vigorous testing of our screening stages, so you can consider them armed and dangerous. For tonight, their exposure means _our_ exposure, so we need to bring them in with as little attention as possible."

Staring up at Wilson, all Tommy could do was blink, the man's words not quite registering.

"As some of you saw on the security monitors, these variants took down some of our strongest men on their way out of here. Our processes have proven how deadly these things can become when pressured under the right circumstances. Now it's our job to get those circumstances under control, got it?"

"Yes, sir," the whole group answered in unison, making Tommy jump.

"Question, sir!" One of the men spoke up. Wilson sighed, but nodded his head in approval. "How will we know where to look for the variants? Won't they be hiding from us?"

"Their focus is not to run or to hide, Carter. It's just to kill. Their blood lust will be stronger than their self-preservation."

Twenty minutes later, Tommy learned just how true that was. Wilson went over a brief recap of their targets, making sure everyone knew what the variants were capable of, which was apparently pretty much any violent act you could imagine. He referred to them as "Bonnie and Clyde," although Tommy knew enough to know those weren't their real names.

As the group settled back into their seats, Tommy took a careful look at each of the men's faces. Wilson was the only one who stared back. The others varied from _bored_ to _nervous_ , and Tommy assumed that depended on how new they were to these kinds of missions. Although no one in the van was more in the dark than him. He'd been working for his dad's company for months now, and had no idea what was going on just under his feet that whole time. "Bonnie and Clyde were seen on the corner of Sixth," Wilson mumbled, his hand on his ear, where Tommy noticed a device.

This wasn't just a van full of insane men who believed in this variant stuff. This...whatever it was...was a well-oiled machine. And he felt like he'd just been thrown right into the cog of it.

By the time the van took the turn for Sixth Street, it no longer mattered how fresh or how seasoned the men in the van were. They all looked terrified. Even Wilson.

Of course, that didn't give Tommy much confidence at all.

So, when the doors swung open and the men began to file out, he kept a safe pace with the guys in the middle, staying close to Wilson. "Eyes sharp, boys," one of the men in the front instructed. Tommy watched as the others scanned the area carefully, their hands on the guns that rested on each of their waistbands.

The street was completely silent. Eerily silent. So deadly quiet that Tommy could've been convinced it'd been deserted. 

They combed the street slowly, their eyes and their guns focused as they inched by every alley along the way. Even their feet didn't make a sound.

At the front of the line, the man leading the group came to an abrupt stop. Tommy leaned around the rest of them, trying to see what was happening.

"There," one of them whispered, raising his hand to point down a darkened corner.

Wilson pushed to the front, stopping at the mouth of the alley just as the others had. And Tommy was quick to follow, wanting to see for himself what was making the men grow pale. Their eyes were wide with shock, as if they were watching a car crash and couldn't look away.

When he reached Mr. Wilson, Tommy understood why.

The scene in front of them was horrific, and he didn't realize at the time, but it would come to haunt his dreams for years. 

Squinting to see through the dark, the first thing Tommy noticed was a man on his knees. His arms were tied behind his back, he was covered in blood, and he sat perfectly still. His head was bowed, staring at the ground in front of him, so deep in a stupor that he didn't notice them.

On the street below the man, there was a body. And that was the most disturbing part. It was a woman, lying in a crumpled heap that the man couldn't look away from. And neither could Tommy. The woman's head was angled back, a deep slit on her throat that looked like it'd almost taken her head clean off.

Tommy's stomach churned, bile rising from his stomach at the sight of the woman.

He had never seen so much blood. Nor had he ever seen a dead body.

"Holy shit," one of the men finally broke the shock that had stopped them all in their tracks. "Look."

Tommy peeled his eyes away from the gruesome scene, following whatever had caught the others' attention. Near the back of the alley, he saw the same couple who had been running out of Merlyn Global.

"Bonnie and Clyde" seemed more like horribly accurate nicknames now. "Clyde" had "Bonnie" pinned against the brick wall a few feet away from the dead woman and the man with his hands tied behind his back. They were both just as bloody as the people they'd attacked, and they were a little too... _involved_ with each other to notice Tommy and the others, either.

"Grab them," Wilson growled. "Now."

After seeing that, the rest of the night spiraled into a blur for Tommy.

They brought Bonnie and Clyde back to Merlyn Global and left the man in the alley. They never called the police, they never turned the murderers in, they never did anything that Tommy would've expected to happen next.

Instead, Wilson interrogated the couple, tortured them until he was convinced that the woman in the alley was the only body they'd dropped that night. Wilson made Tommy sit through all of it, hear every detail of these two prisoners' otherworldly "connection," their sick minds, and what H.I.V.E would do to them.

By the time the sun came up with the morning, he was so desensitized that he stopped asking questions. He didn't flinch when new guards rolled through the cell to torture and maim. He stopped wondering how the hell he'd ended up in the middle of it. And when he saw first-hand how unstable the prisoners were, how dangerous they were, Tommy became numb to them.

And to anyone like them.

He joined H.I.V.E's mission willingly. His father's mission. Tommy spent weeks working for their cause, studying Bonnie and Clyde, and trying to understand what made them the way they were. It became _his_ project; his focus, handed to him by Mr. Wilson as if it was the most important thing...but it wouldn't be until years later that Tommy would realize it was all just to keep him distracted.

Of course, the police eventually found the results of what H.I.V.E had unleashed on the city when their prisoners escaped that. The dead body they'd left in that alley and her traumatized husband.

A month after the night of the murder, Tommy walked into Ray Palmer's office.

He offered him answers and closure, in exchange for a deal.

* * *

Felicity sat in the back of her own car, sandwiched between Oliver and Lyla as they searched the streets for Sara. At first, it had surprised her when Oliver did nothing but shrug at Tommy's offer to drive, ushering her into the back. But then John had climbed into the passenger seat, keeping his gun in his lap, which was not so subtly pointed right at Tommy. Grinning, Tommy shrugged with the same indifference to the gun. And Felicity rolled her eyes, wishing her poor car didn’t have to the the backdrop for this pissing contest.

Sara was missing. Thea and Roy were left behind at the mansion in case she went back, and to keep an eye on Moira. Oliver had wanted Felicity to stay too, but she'd refused, which is what led them to the most bizarre car ride of her life. 

As soon as they'd gotten in the car, Lyla had demanded that Tommy start talking. To explain whatever it was that had caused him to say that Sara was going to _die_. To his credit, Tommy didn't even blink at the sight of the gun. Instead, he drove slowly and calmly. And he talked. 

He told them all how he'd learned about his father's abominable creation of H.I.V.E and the night he'd become mixed up in it. He told them that Sara's behavior was identical to that of these "Bonnie and Clyde" variants from his story who had been captured, tortured, and killed.

The story made Felicity sick, knowing that H.I.V.E probably hadn't cared enough about who Bonnie and Clyde were or where they'd come from. They weren’t looking to save them. H.I.V.E had been hoping to make a horror story out of them, and they’d succeeded. The variants had been animals in a zoo. Rare, dangerous creatures for H.I.V.E to prod at until they'd bitten back.

When Tommy finished his story, it was Lyla who spoke first, her voice dripping with judgement. 

"So you bought into daddy's insanity because you got a little blood on your hands?" She scoffed, her eyes lighting with irritated fire. "I watched my entire family get slaughtered and my home turned to ashes." She lifted her chin as Tommy glanced at her in the rear view mirror. "It didn't make me a monster," she grit through her teeth.

"You're much stronger than me, Ms. Michaels,” Tommy answered quickly with a nod. "Once we had Bonnie and Clyde back in custody, my father assigned me to oversee their case. He wanted to find a way to turn their variant energy into a weapon. To bottle it somehow so we could use it against...all of you." Felicity kept her eyes on Oliver, watching as his jaw clenched.

Tommy continued. "It was only a few months after that when I found out that Oliver was alive, and about everything Damien Darhk was doing to him. But my father never meant for me to know about any of it, and it took me a lot longer than I wanted to figure out where Darhk was keeping him. Not even my father knew...he was too terrified of Damien to stop him. At least that's what I thought. I thought that my dad was trapped beneath Damien’s thumb. But he’s been dead for weeks now...and nothing has changed." Tommy’s voice twisted with disgust, “my father was a willing partner...not a victim.” “Anyway...” Tommy sighed, “by the time I discovered our covert base on Lian Yu, Oliver had been there for about a year." He looked in the mirror again, meeting Oliver's eyes this time. And Felicity took Oliver's hand in silent solidarity. "I sent Rory Regan to retrieve you."

Oliver's eyes narrowed, his mouth opening in surprise. "Rory found me on his own."

Rather than arguing or explaining, Tommy just shrugged, dropping the subject as he pulled up along a curb in the business district.

Felicity stared up at the tall building in front of them. "What are we doing at Palmer Tech?" She asked, leaning forward.

Parking the car, Tommy turned in his seat with a mischievous grin. "What's the matter Smoak? Don't feel like catching up with your old flame?"

In another life, she and Tommy might've been friends.

The thought of it brought a flicker of a smile to her lips. But she knew that they weren't. And with all of the mass murder and evil fathers between them, she doubted they ever would be. So she stared back at him, shaking her head slightly. "Answer the question, Merlyn," she shot back.

Sighing as if she'd ruined his fun, Tommy replied, "After his wife's death, I recruited Palmer for H.I.V.E. He used the samples we collected from Bonnie and Clyde and created something he called the Two Birds Serum."

"Ray never mentioned anything about a serum," Oliver grumbled.

"Why would he?” Tommy countered. “It's one of H.I.V.E's most wicked weapons. I'm sure Ray wasn't about to tell you all about his evil little idea, even if you do have this...alliance, or whatever." Tommy raised his eyebrows as he glanced between Oliver and Felicity, letting them know he already knew all about Ray abandoning the H.I.V.E ship.

"What does this Two Birds serum do?" Felicity demanded, ignoring Tommy's baiting.

At least he had the decency to look a little ashamed as he explained; "It kills variants. Once injected, it slowly infects the bloodstream. We did a lot of testing on Bonnie and Clyde," Tommy shook his head. "It drove them even crazier than they already were. And...they taught us what dosage it would need to take down its victims."

"Ray killed them," Felicity let out a sharp breath.

"Not exactly on purpose," Tommy mumbled back. "But I wouldn't say Palmer, or any of us, were sad we lost them. H.I.V.E has only used the serum on a few other variants, since their goal is to study their captives, not to euthanize them. Or not usually, at least.” His eyes lifted to Oliver again, his voice pained as he admitted, "when my father learned that Felicity Smoak was your soulmate, their plan was to inject her with the Two Birds serum to draw you out. He figured that even if you didn't come back to town for her...you'd both die."

Oliver instantly stiffened, his eyes darkening as he stared back at Tommy.

Felicity held her breath while tension filled the car, the sound of Diggle cocking his gun adding another layer of it. "That's what they were doing at Smoak Tech that night?" Felicity whispered and Tommy nodded. She felt Oliver turn to look at her, but she kept her eyes locked on Tommy's, remembering the army of ghosts that had come for her. How she'd only survived because Oliver had realized something was wrong, and he'd used their connection to get her out of there.

She knew that Tommy wasn't a saint by any means. She knew that he'd done awful, unthinkable things. She knew that she probably was not on the top of his priorities list. But it still stung a little bit to know that he'd known about that attack, that his father planned to kill her...and he'd done nothing to stop it.

"You would've let them kill me," Felicity nodded to herself, hearing Oliver suck in a breath. She watched Tommy steadily for the hint of a denial. But she found none.

"I assumed Oliver wouldn't let that happen," Tommy answered. "I couldn't protect you without revealing myself," he smiled slightly, sadly. "And I've already told you...I'll probably be taken out as soon as daddy dearest finds out I've betrayed him. I have to right a few wrongs first. I couldn't do all of this if I'd fallen on a sword to save you that night, Smoak." His words were confident, not a regret to be found, but Felicity could see that Tommy did feel guilty for almost sentencing her to death. He was right though, she wasn't worth throwing everything away for. Felicity didn't blink, just nodded once in agreement.

It didn't matter who Tommy was or what he'd done, no one would be falling on any swords for her.

Finally, Oliver cleared his throat, not looking entirely pleased with the understanding she and Tommy had come to. And Felicity almost let out a deprecating snort. She knew with her whole heart that Oliver Queen would die for her if it came down to it. But she didn't want to think about that. "So what does the serum _do_?" Felicity asked again, shaking off the cold shiver down her spine.

"Exactly what you're seeing happen to your friend. We injected Clyde with it. Side effects presented almost flu-like the first day. Nausea, fever, body aches. But after a day or so, he started hallucinating, vomiting blood, blacking out. I wanted to put him out of his misery...but Palmer insisted we see it through. Clyde died four days after the injection. And then out of nowhere...Bonnie had a heart attack within sixty seconds of his death. We hadn't given her a dose, but there were traces of the Two Birds Serum in her system. We learned that the serum connected them. And it's only deadly for people with variant genes. When one dies...so will the other. Two birds. One stone. H.I.V.E found a very effective way to kill variants."

They all stared at Tommy with various levels of confusion and disgust.

"That doesn't make any sense," Lyla shook her head, watching Tommy carefully. "You said H.I.V.E planned to give the serum to Felicity. Why would they want to kill them both? I thought they wanted Oliver alive because he was valuable, after what Darhk had done to him."

Tommy sighed, nodding as she spoke. "It's not a quick death, Ms. Michaels. My dad knew that if Oliver realized Felicity was in trouble, he'd come for her. If that meant he died in H.I.V.E's custody, well, in Malcolm's eyes...so be it." Tommy gestured up at the neon Palmer Tech sign. "But Malcolm _did_ ask Ray Palmer to work on an antidote, just in case they could detain Oliver rather than kill him. The ultimate goal was to have both Oliver and Felicity to study. As far as I know, Ray never actually got to create the antidote, since Felicity got away that night."

Of all the questions to ask, Oliver only seemed to be focused on one thing. "Did Ray know?" He growled. "When Malcolm asked him to make an antidote, did he know that they were planning to use the serum on Felicity?"

As Tommy turned to meet Oliver's eyes, it was clear that he understood what Oliver was asking. _Can I trust him? Would he hurt Felicity?_ Maybe even _should I kill him?_  

Slowly, Tommy shook his head. "No...no, Palmer had no idea. He didn't know Felicity was a variant until you guys came back to town and he made the connection."

"So," Felicity tapped her fingers across her knees, getting them back on track. "You think that Ray might be able to create something now...to save Sara?"

Nodding, Tommy tightened his hands on the wheel. "I'll go up and talk to him. You guys should keep looking for your friend."

"Like hell," John finally broke his silent streak, shaking his head as he glared at Tommy. "You think we're just going to let you run up to your buddy Palmer's office alone?"

With an unbothered shrug, Tommy waved his hand at the building. "You're free to join me, Mr. Diggle."

"I'll stick with Johnny," Lyla jumped in quickly, since no one really trusted John not to kill Tommy or vice versa. She swung her door open and hopped out of the car, taking off down the sidewalk while Dig slipped his gun back into his waistband, and then he and Tommy got out to trail after her.

"Call us if you find Sara," were John's parting words.

Oliver squeezed Felicity's hand before getting out himself, and Felicity climbed over the console and into the passenger seat while he got behind the wheel. 

They drove from one end of town to the other, all while Lyla and Felicity texted back and forth about the plans for an antidote that apparently Ray agreed to help with, and Oliver and Felicity's lack of Sara sighting.

After nearly an hour in the car, without even a clue as to where she might've gone, Felicity yawned. She hid it behind her hand, but Oliver noticed. He sighed, plucking her hand from her lap and bringing it to his mouth. "You're tired," he said simply, kissing her skin again and again. "I should get you home."

"Oliver..." She could feel it in her chest that he didn't want to be alone. That he didn't want to be away from her. But he also felt like he couldn't just give up on finding Sara. "I'm okay. I'm not even that tired," she insisted, but another yawn betrayed her.

His smile was sad, "I'll drop you off and take Dig out to help me look."

"No," Felicity shook her head. "We need some time, anyway...we should probably talk."

His jaw clenched, and she knew that he was thinking about everything with Tommy. Oliver was _angry..._ but Felicity wasn't sure if the intense feeling rolling off of her soulmate was solely directed as his childhood best friend turned H.I.V.E royalty, or if some of it was directed at her, too. For sitting on the truth for too long. For not telling Oliver about Tommy grabbing her from the mansion sooner.

"Tommy told me about H.I.V.E, how he tried to help you and all the stuff about his dad...the night of the storm...he said he needed me to hear his side of things without your feelings getting mixed up in everything."

Oliver's voice was chillingly quiet as he answered, "and he couldn't think of anything better than giving you blockers and kidnapping you from the house?"

Felicity sighed, "that's exactly what I said."

Oliver's jaw tightened even more, his hands gripping the hell out of the steering wheel. Felicity ran her hand over his arm, stopping herself from continuing since it was very clear that Oliver had put two and two together. She guessed that he didn't need a play by play of Tommy coming up behind her, putting his hand over her mouth, drugging her with blockers, and dragging her into the woods. Telling Oliver every detail surely wasn't going to make him any _calmer_.

Besides, judging by the murder brewing in his eyes, Felicity knew that Oliver got the picture.

"Did he hurt you?" Oliver's cold tone didn't match the heat radiating off of him. The furious fire.

"No," Felicity shook her head quickly. "I actually laid into him pretty good. I'm sure I caused more damage than he did."

With his eyes falling down her body, Oliver’s gaze hesitated, quick but definite, on her arms and her knees. The scrapes were more from stumbling around in the woods and less from Tommy. But she knew it didn't matter to Oliver. He'd blame Tommy for it either way, and he wouldn't exactly be wrong to. She wouldn't have been tripping over wet roots in that storm if not for him.

"Are you upset with me?" Felicity finally asked, cringing while she watched Oliver, looking like he was trying to control his breathing.

His eyes moved to her, "I understand why you didn't tell me right away...from an emotional standpoint. But Felicity...realistically, I should have known about Malcolm Merlyn _leading_ H.I.V.E...as soon as possible. You waited almost a whole day to tell me."

"I know," Felicity whispered, reaching for his hand again, needing to touch him. "You're right. I'm sorry, I just wasn't sure how you'd react to...the rest of it."

With a dark chuckle, Oliver shrugged. "Well, I'm still considering killing Tommy once we have Sara back safe and sound, so I suppose that's fair."

Twisting her fingers through his, Felicity held Oliver's hand tightly between both of hers. "Do you forgive me?"

Oliver looked at her again, his eyebrows furrowing, "of course I do, Felicity."

"Good," she let out a deep breath. "Now...do you believe Tommy? Everything about this Two Birds serum and those "Bonnie and Clyde" variants?"

Oliver nodded once, looking back at the road as his palm covered her thigh. "I’ve heard of those variants. Do you? Believe Tommy, I mean?"

"Strangely...yes. I think he wants to help us, Oliver. And I have a feeling he's wanted to keep you safe all along."

Oliver looked at her again, his eyes softening as he squeezed her hand. "You always see the best in people," he whispered. "I just want you to be safe...and Tommy threatened that. Twice now, between the storm and that night at Smoak Tech. It's...it's unforgivable, Felicity."

She smoothed her hand over his forearm, rubbing the tense muscles under his skin. "I'm not excusing that," Felicity spoke quietly, shaking her head. "I'm just saying that what we're doing...us against H.I.V.E...it's _war_ , Oliver. And lines aren't always black and white in war. But Tommy loves you," she whispered. "Besides, if we want to bring Sara home safe, if we want this to all be over, then it would definitely help to have Tommy on our side."

His jaw tightened and he nodded, not saying anything.

Felicity lifted her hand to Oliver's cheek again, seeing how much it was taking for him to put his feelings aside and do what needed to be done. Surely, if lives didn't depend on it, Tommy probably wouldn't have walked away after his confession unscathed. And Oliver wouldn't be tolerating Ray, either. But he knew it was necessary. There was no way they'd even be half as close to taking down H.I.V.E if it weren't for Tommy and Ray. Even Oliver couldn't deny that.

"Do you really think Malcolm Merlyn is at the bottom of this?" Felicity asked, her hand pressing against his cheek and her fingers gliding over his ear. "Or...I guess the top?"

He leaned into her touch, keeping his eyes on the road. "I've known Malcolm since I was a kid, but I never really _knew_ him. He wasn't around very much."

"Tommy spent a lot of time at your place growing up, huh?" Felicity remembered all those weekends when she was a little girl, before her connection with Oliver really became something big. She'd sit around, waiting for her pre-teen soulmate to pay her any attention to her while he and Tommy amused themselves with prank calling the girls in their class. At that age, she'd even been a little bit jealous of their friendship. Both because she didn't have someone like that in Nevada, and because she knew that Oliver would rather hang out with Tommy than her. And she definitely had a crush on Oliver when she was young, when he’d still seen her as just a kid who kept appearing in his life.

"Tommy always liked being at our house more than his own. Malcolm was hardly ever there, anyway." Oliver answered with a shrug. "At this point...I think anything is possible. If Malcolm Merlyn is the leader of H.I.V.E, then we just need to figure out how to cut off the head of the snake."

"Oliver," Felicity whispered, waiting for him to meet her eyes again. She raised her eyebrows. "It's his _father_...do you really think Tommy can do that to him? Could he really hate his own dad this much?"

As she stared up at him, Felicity could see that deep down, there was a part of Oliver that felt bad for Tommy. He may not recognize it himself, masking it with anger and disappointment, but it was there. And despite everything Tommy had done, it comforted Felicity to see that her soulmate still cared about his oldest friend. Because the man that she knew and loved...he didn't give up on anyone that he cared about. And he wasn't exactly a stranger to seeing the best in people, either.

"Hey," Felicity said gently, brushing her thumb over his bottom lip to get his attention. "We're going to figure this out," she promised. "And we're going to be okay."

With his eyes fixed on hers, Oliver nodded, absorbed in the way she stared up at him and the confidence in her voice. It reminded her how fully he listened to her, trusted her, and relied on her. And knowing that she was that person for a man like Oliver Queen...it made her heart feel whole.

It was Felicity who saw it first; a flash of blonde hair darting out into the street.

"Oliver, look out!" Felicity shouted. Her heart jumped into her throat as Oliver's arm flew across her body, securing her against her seat as he slammed on the brakes. She grabbed onto his arm with both hands and squeezed her eyes shut.

Thank god for his quick reflexes.

Oliver stopped the car just before he hit Sara.

Felicity's breath was heavy, her heart racing as she opened her eyes. Right in front of them, Sara stood with her hands on the hood of the car, like she expected to stop it from crashing into her with her bare hands. Her hair was in her face, her eyes piercing and blue as she stared back at them without a trace of recognition. It was the same wildness that they'd seen in her back at the mansion, but now they knew that she wasn't just sick. She was hallucinating.

"Call John," Oliver whispered, neither of them moving, their instincts telling them that if they did, Sara might attack. Or run. Slowly, he reached for the door, giving Felicity a quiet, "it's okay, it's okay," when she moved to stop him. She didn't take her eyes off Sara though, even as Oliver got out of the car.

Sara's eyes shifted from Felicity to Oliver, her head cocking as she watched him slowly shut the door, inching around the car and closer to her.

When Sara took a step away, her hands sliding across the hood of the car in her retreat, she left a trail of bright red blood in her path. Her hands were covered in it, and as Felicity got a better look at the woman, she noticed that Sara's clothes were stained the same.

Fear launched into her chest, and Felicity didn't consider the fact that Oliver had probably noticed the mess of blood on Sara already. It was a realization for her. "Oliver!" Felicity choked, wanting to warn him, not wanting him to get any closer.

As she called for him, Sara's head snapped back towards her. Then her lip curled with a snarl, one that clearly said _stay away from me_ , and a moment later, she was running.

Oliver hurried back, getting into the car again and following after Sara.

"Sorry, sorry," Felicity breathed, her hands moving up his arm and chest to his neck. "She just...I didn't see the blood until you were _right_ _there_."

"It's okay, Felicity," Oliver replied easily, both of his hands on the wheel as he turned down the alley they'd just watched Sara run for. Felicity nodded, trying to slow her heart down and using Oliver's calmness more than her own. He stopped at the end of the alley when a barbed fence kept them from going any farther. "Damn it," Oliver grumbled, his eyes scanning the alley for any sign of Sara. "I have to go after her." He met Felicity's eyes, "can you take the car around the block, keep and eye out for Sara?"

She nodded quickly, "I'll call you if I find her."

Leaning in, Oliver gave her a quick kiss, his hand already reaching for the door. He stared into her eyes, "leave the doors locked, okay? Even if you see Sara."

"Yes," Felicity rushed, feeling her heart pick up with adrenaline again. "I'll be careful. Go, go."

With a quick 'I love you,' Oliver kissed her again before getting out. 

Just as he was about to shut the door behind him, Felicity's phone buzzed in her pocket, and she jumped at the unexpected feeling. Oliver paused, sticking his head back in the car as she pulled her phone out. "It's your sister," Felicity muttered before answering. "Thea?"

"Felicity," Thea breathed in relief, "are you guys okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, we're fine. Are you all safe?" Felicity asked, adjusting the phone so she could put it on speaker for Oliver to hear.

Thea let out a shaky breath, "we're all okay here. But Sara's all over the news. Some kid took a video of her running around barefoot and bloody across town. He sent it in to Channel 6 News. People are freaking out."

"We just saw her," Felicity slumped in her seat.

"Guys..." Thea grumbled, "the District Attorney was just rushed to the ER. She was attacked, and the video of Sara was only a block from her home...the police apparently think Sara might've tried to kill her."

Oliver's eyebrows furrowed. "Why would Sara do that? Who is the D.A?" 

Felicity shook her head in confusion. "Laurel Lance...but what does she have to do with Sara?"

"I don't know," Thea chimed in. "But the entire city knows her face, and she's not exactly subtle if she's walking around with blood all over her. You guys have to find her before anyone else does."

* * *

_Three days later_

After everything he'd learned from H.I.V.E and everything he'd seen of variants, Ray Palmer never thought he'd find himself standing at the front door of one. And the mansion laid out in front of him wasn't just Oliver Queen's home. There wasn't just one variant inside he had to worry about. The place was _full_ of them. Ray knew that deep down, this wasn't enemy territory, but it still felt like stepping into a lion's den. His brain was so hardwired to believe that variants were all monsters, it was difficult to see them as anything else.

Even when he looked at Felicity now, he couldn't help but feel conflicted...

The mansion's front door swung open suddenly, and Ray recognized the girl that peeked her head out to look at him, although he'd never officially met her. Ray had only seen Thea Queen in photographs from the files H.I.V.E kept.

"Ray Palmer," she crossed her arms, recognizing him in the same way, probably from the news or his face on a park bench somewhere. Thea narrowed her eyes, but stepped back from the door, inviting him inside. "I hope you've come with good news."

He didn't answer, so the youngest Queen just eyed him as she led the way upstairs.

Over the last few days, he'd been working on an antidote to the Two Birds Serum he'd created. Ray knew that not all variants were bad. He understood that now...but the District Attorney of Starling City was currently in intensive care because of one of _them_.

Tommy and his friends had explained as much when they came to him asking for help. His serum was what heightened their friend's blood lust, so the variants seemed to hold him responsible for saving her now.

But...the woman they were asking him to save...she had that darkness in her already. His serum had only freed her to be her true self, to follow her deepest instincts. And she was a killer. Just like the ones who had killed his wife. He'd agreed to help the variants, to save lives that deserved to be saved. Ray just wasn't quite sure that this Sara woman was worthy of it.

For him, this wasn't as simple as stopping H.I.V.E from all the kidnapping and killing.

This Sara person...she was a killer herself. Damien Darhk's killer, to be exact. But Ray was sure there was plenty of other blood on her hands. And it surprised him that Tommy Merlyn, of all people, didn't want to see her dead.

Finally letting himself wrap his brain around what he agreed to do, Ray followed Thea through the mansion. She led him upstairs and pointed to a door down the hall. "Ollie and Felicity are in there with Sara. You can go ahead."

Ray nodded, moving slowly until he reached the door. With his hand on the knob, he turned back towards Thea, "are you sure it's okay—" his question fell flat when he realized the girl was gone and he was alone in the dark hallway of the massive mansion full of variants. "Oh," Ray cleared his throat. "Okay then, this isn't creepy at all." Taking in a deep breath, he pushed the door open.

The first thing he saw in the large room was the bed, positioned directly in front of him. A woman was lying under the covers, and he assumed she must be Sara. Felicity sat in a chair by her side, holding the woman's hand. If he turned his head to the left, Tommy Merlyn could be found in another chair at the corner of the room. And just behind Felicity to the right, Oliver Queen leaned against the window sill. As Ray took in his surroundings, Tommy and Oliver both glanced from their staring at Felicity to look at him.

"Palmer," Tommy greeted, standing up from the chair.

At Tommy's words, Felicity noticed his presence at the door, and she looked up at him, too. Tiredly, with familiarity in her eyes, she smiled. And Ray couldn't help but notice how exhausted she looked. It reminded him of the nights they'd stayed up, working on one project or another.

Her hair was in a messy bun, there were dark circles under her red eyes, and her skin was pale. Not as pale as Sara's, but it still made Ray wonder if his ex-girlfriend had been eating enough. She often forgot, if she was distracted, and clearly the people in front of him had had a long night.

The concern he felt for Felicity troubled Ray before he could dispel it, forgetting for a brief moment what she was. But he quickly swallowed it down.

Felicity's eyes brightened as she blinked up at him, lifting her head from where she'd been resting it on her folded arms, leaning on the bed. "Did you finish it?"

Ray glanced between Felicity and the two men who hovered close to her, looking like guard dogs. "No..." he trailed off, his instincts making a decision for him, before his brain had even caught up. "I just wanted to check her out for myself, make sure I'm not missing anything from what you've told me. Maybe I could take a blood sample, run some tests to make sure I get the antidote right."

"We don't have that kind of time," Felicity breathed, her eyes widening as she squeezed Sara's hand.

"And you're not taking her blood," Oliver finally spoke, his eyes hard and suspicious as he stared at Ray. He quirked an eyebrow in challenge, crossing his arms over his chest, although he didn't bother moving from his perch at the window. But Ray knew that it wouldn't matter. He wasn't about to argue. And Oliver Queen could snap his neck faster than he could say 'molecular processor.'

"You have all the info, doc," Tommy chimed in. "Now bring us a cure."

Hesitating, Ray watched Tommy carefully, wondering what would cause a son to betray his own father. He never thought he'd see Tommy working with the variants...but there he was, relaxing in a chair with three of them in the room, one of whom was feral. "I'll need a few more days with it," Ray finally answered.

Felicity let out a frustrated breath, "she doesn't _have_ a few more days, Ray." Her eyes filled with tears, and only then did Oliver move from his spot, stepping behind Felicity and placing a hand on her shoulder. And Ray watched as his ex instantly covered her hand over Oliver's, clutching on while she turned to look up at him. "Please..."

H.I.V.E had explained how variants saw their connection as some kind of a soulmate bond. And Ray hated to admit it, but he still had feelings for Felicity Smoak. Knowing that she saw Oliver that way...as her _soulmate_...it left a bitter taste in his mouth. Not to mention that he was still struggled to view them as _people_ , and not as symbols of the monsters who had murdered his wife. "Felicity," Ray asked quietly, "can I talk to you...in private?"

Tommy scoffed at that, a sharp bark of laughter. "Good luck with that." He tilted his chin towards Oliver, "you'll have to go through him."

Felicity pinched her lips together as Oliver's hand tightened on her shoulder, his eyes focusing on Ray now. He waited for Oliver to object, but all he did was glare daggers back at Ray. Then Felicity stood up, letting go of Sara's hand and taking a step away from the bed. Then Oliver turned his attention to her. "Felicity..."

She tapped her hand against his chest. "I'll be fine," Felicity rolled her eyes, assuring him. "We'll be right outside the door." Without argument, she planted a kiss to Oliver's cheek, then trudged across the room, waving for Ray to follow.

He did, trailing Felicity back out into the hallway. She moved towards the large window at the end of the hall, turning to face him once she'd reached it. "I haven't had a chance to say thank you."

Blinking, Ray couldn't help but be surprised by her first words.

"I know this isn't easy for you," Felicity continued. "I'm sure it brings up a lot of bad memories," she swallowed, her eyes sympathetic as she looked up at him. "About those people who killed Anna."

Ray cleared his throat, hearing Anna's name from Felicity's mouth felt wrong in some way. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about, actually."

Felicity cocked her head to the side. "Oh?" 

"I need you to promise me something, Felicity. Not Tommy, or Oliver, or your friends...I need _you_ to be honest with me."

Her eyebrows pushed together, "okay, Ray..."

"I need you to swear to me," he pointed back at the door, "that the woman in there isn't going to hurt someone else like those variants hurt my wife. She nearly killed the District Attorney, Felicity..."

Letting out a deep breath, Felicity rubbed her palm against her forehead. "We have it handled. We haven't taken our eyes off Sara since Oliver and I brought her back here, Ray. Once we have the antidote, I promise, she'll be back to normal."

"What is normal, though...for this woman? I've seen H.I.V.E's files on her. She became an assassin after the destruction of Nanda Parbat. She's killed dozens of people."

Felicity clenched her jaw, glancing away from him, and he knew that she didn't like where this was going. "You forget that _your_ people brought that destruction down on her. On her home."

Ray shook his head, whispering, "I won't take blame for something I had nothing to do with, Felicity, and it's not even about that...but I didn't forget what H.I.V.E did. I just want to know how much blood is on _Sara's_ hands...if you expect me to spare her life."

Felicity's eyebrows shot up, " _spare_ her? I thought you wanted to _save_ people, Ray...not decide who lives and dies." She crossed her arms, her back stiff, and the look of judgement in her eyes. The expression on her face actually reminded him a lot of her _soulmate_. The glare she gave him was almost identical to Oliver's. "I don't understand. Do you not want to help Sara?"

"I _am_ helping," Ray sighed. "I'm trying, Felicity. I'm just also trying to understand the kind of person I'm attempting to save."

" _Spare_ ," her eyes narrowed even more, any trace of sympathy gone from her expression. Instead, Felicity looked up at him as if she didn't even recognize him. 

Of course, there were plenty of moments now where he saw her the same.

Before Felicity could argue, and Ray could tell that she had plenty to say, a sharp cry from the room interrupted them. "Help me!" The voice screamed. "Please!"

In an instant, Felicity rushed for the door, and Ray quickly followed her back inside, closing it behind him.

Felicity ran to the bed where Oliver was trying to keep Sara still. "What happened?" She asked.

"She woke up," Tommy answered from the other side of the room, filling a syringe with what Ray guessed was some kind of sedative.

As Sara looked at Felicity, her flailing stopped and her eyes went wide. She raised a hand towards Felicity while Oliver kept her arms pinned to the bed. And Felicity dropped to her knees at Sara's side, taking her hand and holding on tight.

The woman began to talk, jumbling words and jumping languages every few seconds, all while her body began to shake. Felicity blinked back tears, nodding along with Sara's incoherent rambling, her begging. She squeezed Sara's hand, mumbling to her that it was all going to be okay.

"Laurel," Sara writhed on the sheets drenched in sweat. Tears fell from her eyes as she released a pained sob. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I left, I'm sorry for everything."

Ray could only stare, watching as Felicity forced a smile, assuring Sara that all was forgiven, playing along as 'Laurel' to do so. And even Oliver Queen had tears in his eyes, still restraining Sara, but not stopping her when she raised a shaking hand towards Felicity's face. Her fingertips touched Felicity's cheek, a rush of "I'm so sorry," falling from her lips over and over.

"It's okay," Felicity assured her, "Sara, it's okay. I forgive you. Everything's going to be okay."

Everyone in the room looked away as Felicity shed tears of her own, and Ray was certain that they all understood something he didn't know.

Out of nowhere, Sara collapsed back onto the bed, her hand falling from Felicity's face. Ray stared while Felicity sniffled and Oliver hung his head.

Sara didn't look like the monsters who had killed his wife.

Those people had been unhinged, strong and ready to kill from the moment he first laid eyes on them in that dark alley, until the moment he'd watched them take their final breaths in the chambers at H.I.V.E's base. But this woman seemed so much more human. Vulnerable.

He couldn't stop himself from taking a curious step closer, wanting to know if she had all the same symptoms as H.I.V.E's little prisoners they named Bonnie and Clyde.

"Hey," Tommy stepped into Ray's path before he reached the bed. "You're no use here. Go find us a way to save her," he growled.

Ray just blinked, unable to take his eyes off of Sara. The silence lasted for a few moments, just long enough for him to think it was over, and then Sara jolted from the bed. She sat straight up, her eyes flying open. And Oliver had to grab her before she could latch onto Felicity's shirt.

"Dad!" Sara called, her chest racking with sobs. "I didn't mean to," she pleaded, shaking her head furiously. Her eyes were somewhere else, seeing something other than the bedroom she was in. "I had do go. It wasn't up to me. I had to go." It took Ray a moment to realize that her watery eyes were fixated right on him. "Dad, I love her. I love her with everything inside of me. Why did she have to die? She didn't have to die."

"Sara," Felicity interfered, placing a hand on Sara's back, trying to ease her back to lie down.

As soon as Felicity's hand touched Sara's skin, the woman swung around.

Her entire demeanor changed, _snapped._ She switched from the broken and crying woman, haunted by her ghosts, and became something lethal. The tears stopped and her eyes darkened, her lip curling with an animalistic snarl. 

It only took a moment.

And then Sara's hands were around Felicity's throat.

* * *

After running out of the Queen mansion and safely making it to his car that was parked in the driveway, Ray sucked in a deep breath. He let it out slowly, his hands shaking as he gripped the steering wheel in two tight fists.

He tried to calm down, to tell himself that he'd done the right thing.

The woman in that bedroom was no longer a woman. His ex-girlfriend couldn't understand what Ray already knew...Felicity was too close, which meant she wasn't capable of seeing her friend as the rabid animal she'd become. Felicity always wanted to see the best in everyone. But Ray knew better. He'd needed to see Sara for himself, to know that he was making the right choice. Despite his numb limbs and the vomit he had to swallow down, he still felt like he'd made the best decision.

Sara was rabid. And rabid things needed to be put down.

He told himself that he was saving that poor woman from suffering. That he'd been trying to save Felicity from getting false hope.

But the vile in the pocket of his pants felt like it was burning a hole.

And his eyes blurred with tears as he accepted the weight of what he'd done.

Pulling the antidote out, Ray opened the console beside him and shoved the fluorescent blue vile inside. He slammed the compartment closed again, and then with a loud grunt, he slammed his hands against the steering wheel again and again until his palms hurt. The pain radiated from his hands, his heavy breath filling the car as he rid himself of all the things he'd kept bottled.

Seeing Felicity nearly choked to death had been the last straw...he couldn't risk letting a variant like Sara back out into the world.

That's why...when all hell broke loose and it became clear that Sara was going to die, Ray had kept quiet instead of telling Felicity, Oliver, and Tommy that he'd completed the antidote.

They could never know what he'd done. Tommy would have him killed for not following his orders. And Oliver Queen would do the job himself just as quickly. They'd never let him live if they knew he could have saved her.

They could never know he'd let their friend die.

Felicity could never know.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please let me know what you think!!


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